Note from God

It's almost as if there is a little permanent post-it note from God stuck inside my brain and heart, one that grabs my attention every once in a while.  I'd bet I wasn't the only one who sensed the presence of such a note.  Here is what that note says:

 

 

 

Tonight was one of those nights when sleep just wouldn't come to me.  Terminal toss and turn....you know.  I had tried to "do business" with God as I went to bed, but looking back it was just a cursery effort.  As I lay there doing my bed flops, it occurred to me that the stuff I had laying on my mind had not been dealt with at all, and that my meaningless effort at "doing business" was little less than a sham....and that is why I wasn't getting anywhere near sleep. 

 

Simply put, God was speaking to me and he was saying "Talk to Me"!  Ever have that happen?

 

Romans 7: 14-25 (I'm not a scholar...I had to dig it out) provided some solace to me once I got up.  In that passage Paul is talking about his inner struggles.  To paraphrase, he is making a statement "I do what I don't want to do, and don't do what I want to do" in so many words.  He is talking about the control sin has in his life, even though in his inner being he is at one with God.  And that is the gist of what was bothering my mind and heart as I lay in bed and attempted to get to sleep.  I couldn't turn off my mind to the fact that throughout the day I had struggled mightely (and failed) to refrain from some terrible sin habits I happen to have that I continually struggle with.  I don't think I am the Lone Ranger in that area of my life.

 

So God's little post-it note did it's job once again.  It was the impetus to get me out of bed and into the Word, and then into Him with some meaningful dialogue.  Of particular importance to me was the clarity of what Paul was saying and how it rang true with me. I cannot gloss over the fact that I have these flaws.  I cannot minimize them when "doing business".  And I need to remind myself that they don't have to take me down. 

 

If I heed the note from God, I'm a step ahead of the game.  Do you get notes from God?

 

 

 













It ain't always so easy

Life.  Just doin' life.  It sounds simple to the ear when we say it.  It is one of those simple "light" words/terms that just seems to ooze ease, isn't it?  And you know, sometimes when I first wake up and am just hanging there before actually getting out of bed I can just about convince myself that that is true.  And there it ends.  Right?

Facing a new day can be a task.  I used to look at each new day with a bit of trepidation.  I didn't know what curveballs would get tossed my way that day, but I knew there would be some.  I usually had some baggage I was still carrying from previous days.  I had my masters degree in inventing crises and worries, and I seemingly tried to find them with a passion.  Anything sound familiar?

After a while, greeting each day with a sense of fear, concern, worry, or anxiety not only gets old, but it has this subtle way of:

•  wearing us down,
• tiring us out,
• disengaging our hearts and thus hurting our relationships with others,
• eroding any faith we might have
• isolating us
• etc.

I can't imagine what the cumulative effects would be as one starts to grow grey and gets the road map face.  I know what the effects were well into middle age.  It became a self feeding cycle and it was ugly.  Fortunately, we are all able, if we choose to overcome that hindrance to living daily life as it was meant...a life of joy and peace.  It won't always be easy, but it sure beats the alternative.

Here is, perhaps, a little known fact:

 

 

If we live each day fearlessly, we will be trusting God as we need to in order to go about our lives with a sense of joy and peace.  Living with joy and peace does seem to make the word "life" seem so much simpler doesn't it?



Messed up.....maybe just a little??

Right off the get-go here, I am stating--emphatically so--that this posting is NOT about political persuasion.  Keep that in mind as you look at this picture:

 

 

 

Obviously the picture did come from a "politicized" source.  As I looked at it, and it's message, I was struck by the morality issue(s) presented.  Sadly, what is expressed in the message of the picture is very true in this day of age.  This is just one such issue that has diminished the morality of the nation.

 

Which brings me to this....a nation (such as the U.S.A.) beset by morality issues (such as the one above) means simply that the people that make up that nation are beset by those issues.  And this, to me, means that complacency has eroded what was formerly a strong sense of resolve about this issue, and others like it.  In other words, one can almost hear "oh well, what can you do about it?"

 

Complacency is a form of soul and heart wrecking cancer, and unlike cancer of the medical variety,  it only grows when it is allowed to grow.  And people do that.

 

If things like the above picture bother you, like it did me, then what can you do?  Some suggestions:

• dare to be different.  Get actively indignant about things that just aren't right.
• talk about them to friends and associates instead of keeping it inside
• certainly pray for "sane" leadership, and actively seek and promote "sane" candidates
• get angry about the morality erosion and dwindling values, and get active
• insist that your family not "cave in"...talk about issues
• show your own values as an example....does it really matter what others think?
• etc, etc, etc

Do you see where I'm going with that?  It is all about individual responsibility...period.  It is a one by one by one by one process of people deciding enough is enough.  Let me ask you this:

 

Do you have a 15 year old daughter who you know can get an abortion without your knowledge, but she can't get an aspirin in school?  Does that not bother you?

 

 

 

 





Life is short

This is a video of twitter remarks made by a gal who found out she was dying.

The messages at the end are, to me, a powerful reminder of just how short life really is.  I would guess that Amanda was not a believer and probably did not "take care of business" before passing. 

How prepared are any of us for those final days of our lives?  What can I be doing differently each day as that time can come at any moment?

Gifts and blessings

The other day I sat in church and was once again awed by the giftedness of our worship leader.  After church several of us were talking and we were in agreement that what this wonderful man did was something mere mortal men aren't supposed to be able to do:

• right hand:  use one of those hand rattle things to produce a rattling sound to the beat of the music
• left hand:  beat another type of beat on 2, yes 2, different bongo drums, changing the beat up from time to time during the song
• right foot:  use it to beat yet another beat on a larger drum using a foot pedal
• shake the body the whole time in time with the music
• and sing.

Most of us agreed we have trouble rubbing our head and patting our belly at the same time.  We all agreed that what we just witnessed was wonderful, and a lesson for each of us.

Why?  Because we had experienced, first hand, a supreme example of God's gift to one man, a man who recognizes that as a gift from God, and who in turn blesses us with his use of that gift.  To be sure, the man is eminently talented...there is no question about that.  But some things go beyond talent, and this mans musical abilities is one of those things.  And we are all blessed by it because he is sharing those gifts with us.

Another thing that separates giftedness from talent, I believe, is humility.  Michael is one of the most humble men I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and knowing.  It would be awfully easy, with that kind of talent, to flaunt it...if even a little bit.  But we never see that.  What we experience is a complete sharing of giftedness, in a completely humble manner, and it makes our worship periods even more meaningful and complete.

To be gifted is to be blessed.  And to share that gift is to bless those who receive it and to honor God's desire for us.  We all, whether we know it or not, have been gifted by God in some area, an area that can be used to further His purpose.  That giftedness is not something we are to hold close to our chests.  It is something to be humbly shared as a means of furthering kingdom work.

What are your gifts?

Are you ready to step forward and share your giftedness?

Do you thank God for your gift and seek direction for using it?



God's Pearls

Would it sound wierd if people referred to themselves as pearls--or if other people did?  Take a look at this very short video and then see what you think.

 



 

I happen to like analogies.  Analogies teach me, and I think they are great teaching tools.  The video, and what I'm about to say,  are just that.  Here's what I take from the video:  I am an oyster in this big sea of life.  Right in the very core of me there is this irritant, this annoyance, a thing that I simply can't get rid of.  It is called sin, or my sinful nature.  This will be with me for all of the days of my life. 

 

However, all is not lost.  Just like the irritant in the oyster, that irritant within me, while it can never be removed, will be transformed with patience and time and effort.  Little by little, as I avail myself of all of the tools of life's tool box which are available to me, that irritant will become less and less significant as God works in me crafting a pearl.  The sinful nature will never leave, but a pearl will come to be if I make those choices:

• community vs solitude
• praying vs not
• biblical worldview vs secular worldview
• transparency vs wall building
• etc, etc

Pearls are not made overnight.  Neither are human pearls.  But we can rest assured that God is a very patient God, and He prefers pearls.

Truth in Advertising

Years ago laws called "Lemon Laws" were passed to protect the consumer from buying bad used cars.  Prior to those lemon laws (and perhaps even still) unscrupulous auto dealers had quite a  bad reputation for selling junk to the buying public.  It became obvious to the buying public that it wasn't only used cars that were being sold as "pigs dressed up in prom dresses".  As a result there is hardly a product sold anymore that doesn't have descriptions and warnings attached that comply with what we now know as truth in advertising. 

Truth in advertising came about to protect man from man.  And I dare say that even with truth in advertising, man will continue to be the inverterate scammer, and will continue to find ways to cheat felllow man.  It is in the human genes.  Mankind has been imperfect since the time of Adam and Eve.  There are many, many references throughout the Bible which address the imperfect state of mankind.  Why, even some imperfections that apply to me are mentioned !!  Imagine that.

Speaking of the Bible, now we're talking!  We're talking about something that has never needed any truth in advertsising disclaimers whatsoever.  And that is because it is God's word.  And those who have followed it, or are following it, or are trying to follow it as a guidefor their lives have never been disappointed or cheated.  It has stood the test of time completely, and it is exactly what it is--God's word. 

So when I added the Bible to my tool chest for doing life, I didn't have to worry about any lemon law.  I got the real deal.

Is it in your tool chest for living?

What's Lurking?

A few times a day we feed "the critters".  The critters are an assortment of wildlife that congregates in and around the huge evergreen tree in our yard between us and the next door neighbors.  At this afternoon's feeding there were 8 squirrels (including "Stubby", who is missing part of his tail), a large selection of birds, including 4 or 5 cardinals.  The squirrels have us rather trained, as it is not uncommon for one or two to get on the window sill of the picture window and run back and forth so as to make noise...to let us know "where's the beef...er, food"?

It's neat to sit inside on a nasty cold winter day and watch the interactions of the critters.  They are focused.  All they want is a little something to eat, so they pretty much get along.  The squirrels, in fact, seem to play a lot.  All in all it is a pretty calming scene.  Like much of life, it is enjoyable. 

Then the whole idyllic scene gets ruined, and it happens in the blink of an eye.  The grackles swarm.  Grackles are a bit larger than blue jays (also noted for being bullys and thugs), and unlike blue jays, they come in flocks....large flocks.  The whole intent and purpose of these thugs is to steal the food and ruin a good thing.  They are, however, skitterish, so all one has to do is go by the window and wave an arm and they will all fly off.  Here is what they do:

• they lurk in the background...like in a tree a yard or two over, close but not too close
• they come in waves and disrupt
• they try to steal the good stuff from the innocent animals
• they are very patient...they will make foray after foray

Lurking grackles are much like sin and evil, which is always in the background.  Sin seems to feed upon sin and temptation always seems to come in waves, and it surely disrupts a life we are trying to lead.  Evil tries to steal our hearts by hardening them, and sin and evil are both extremely patient.  They never seem to rest.

How do you deal with the grackles in your life?

Comeback Trail

I keep hearing, or reading,  the term "comeback trail".  So much so that I got curious and googled it.  I found no specific place called "comeback trail" but I did find many, many google references to the term.  "So and so on the comeback trail", etc.  It was applied to sport figures, politicians, you name it.  So I guess there is no real place called comeback trail.  Or maybe there is.

I often talk about life as "that long dirt road of daily life".  I do this because it paints a word picture for me.  In doing so it speaks to me about my daily life:

• life can be rough and arduous at times
• life isn't a freeway that I just glide along on
• it is a one way road...from here (where I am now) to there (the end)
• at the end of that long dirt road lies eternity, where I will meet the Lord

At times during my travel down that long dirt road, I have strayed away from that road.  Thankfully, through any number of circumstances I found myself on a comeback trail that eventually intersected with and ended at the long dirt road.  Hence, I also use the term comeback trail as a word picture because it speaks to me as such:

• it's a do-over.  God gives us do overs.
• it's Grace.  God floods us with grace.
• it's forgiveness.  God forgives us.
• it's redemption.  God redeems us.

How wonderful it is to know that just  regular guys like you and I can hit the comeback trail.  We needn't be well known folks to get that gift.

Obituary-itis

Do you have a first-thing-in-the- morning routine?  That is a rhetorical question because I have never found anyone who didn't have a morning routine.  And, further, I bet all morning routines can be described verbatim by other family members.  Morning routines just seem to come in our habit genes.  I am no different than anyone else.  I have my routine, and NOONE better mess with it !!  Here it is:

• get up
• bathroom call
• make coffee
• retrieve the paper
• read the paper with my coffee

By the way, I am all convinced that reading a newspaper while drinking coffee magically does something to the coffee.  It is absolutely at its best during those moments.  I have a sub-routine (bet you do to) when reading the paper.  I have to read it in a particular order:

1. front section---the news stuff
2. sports section
3. obituaries
4. business section

Reading the obituaries makes me think.  Obviously I am always happy to note that my name and details aren't among those whose are there.  That gives each morning a bright start.  But on a more serious note I come away from reading the obitiuaries with:

• a sense of thanks that I am able to stand in front of another day and therefore I have one more opportunity to try to be a better person
• a sense of acknowledgement that God has allowed me to walk this walk of life for as long as He has and that during that walk He has shared many precious moments with me
• a sense of sorrow that perhaps some of those listed therein may have never reached unity with their Lord and thus could be eternally lost

Being alive each day should be incentive enough for me to focus myself on my real purpose for being...that of being an instrument of God's hand to willingly do whatever it is He wants of me as an act of blind faith and trust in Him.

If you were to take stock of yourself and  your morning routine, how would you address it?

Smokey Robinson and God

In 1967 Smokey Robinson and the Miracles came out with a hit song "I'll Second that Emotion".  The song talks about not wanting just a kiss and run relationship.  The hook of the song is actually the clincher of the main message of the song:

 

..."if you want

a lifetime of devotion...

I'll second that emotion."

 

God has been fully devoted to us as His people (and I mean individually so....you, me, them) since we were born.  His devotion for me, for example, has never, ever wavered.  Ever.  End of story.  The only wavering in our relationship has been on me.  Sometimes I am way more devoted to myself and my stuff than to others, and God in particular.  How about you?

 

God, like a good parent, simply wants what's best for us.  And in return for that, all He asks of us is a lifetime of devotion to Him.  Should it really be all that hard to understand and do?  No, but we do tend to make it hard don't we?

 

And I'll second that emotion!





Wrong Turn

 

 

As I looked at this picture of an Interstate highway interchange it brought to mind how many twists and turns each of us can face each day as we go about the business of daily living.  There are days when my life looks just like the picture above....a complete mess.  When my life is like that it is all but guaranteed that I can very easily make some wrong turns (bad decisions, choices) simply because I am overwhelmed by the mess around me.  At times like that it is easy to get off track.  Ever happen to you?  How did you overcome the problem?

 

As I navigate the long narrow dirt road of life toward the end, it is a given that at times that simplistic road will look and feel like the picture above.  It is at those times that I have to rely on prayer, faith, and trust to guide me so that I don't make the wrong turn.  The right turn is the one toward God.  He can handle any mess, whether I made it or not.  If I'm in a mess, He will see me through it.  All I need to do is trust Him.

First Class Mail

At risk of sounding like I pack-rat, throughout my life I have felt it important to save some things.  Sometimes I save whatever it is because I think the kids may enjoy it at some later time.  Sometimes I save whatever it is because I suffer from a common man disease called "it might come in handy sometimes".  And sometimes I save whatever it is because something inside of me signaled that down the road I might want to check back on it as a means of doing a self check.  This usually happens with some form of written communication I may have received, written, or a copy of what I may have sent.

I recently came across a letter I "received" 17 years ago.  It was hand written, and paper it was written on is now yellowed and aging.  It had been tucked away in an old Bible which was on the shelf with some reference books.  The letter was deeply personal in nature, and went into great detail about the relationship between the "writer" of the letter and myself.  It gave me, sitting here in 2014, a really clear picture of the depth and scope of the relationship we had 17 years ago because it was very detailed, very open, and painted a picture of me that I had not seen in many years.  It was first class mail.

I was in a men's small group at church back then.  It was a small group specifically for very broken men, and most of the guys in that group had, in the course of their lives, had issues with all kinds of addictions and other legal matters.  Most has spent some time in jail at one point or another.  We sometimes joked, in an off hand way, that we were a bunch of hard core bust-outs trying to be hard core lovers of the Lord.  It wasn't however a joke, because that is what it was.

The first class mail I spoke of was part of an exercise in that men's group.  One week, each of us wrote a letter from Jesus to ourselves.  We were to take our time, be open and honest, be totallly free, and write a letter to ourselves just as we pictured Jesus might write it.  It was a pretty eye opening and humbling experience to do that, and then share it with the group---which we did.

As I sat and read that letter written in 1995 "to Joe from Jesus" over coffee today it clearly showed me who and what I was then, and I was able to compare the Joe-then with who I am now.  So much so that it begged the question....'if Jesus were to send me a letter today, what would He say in it"?

That's a pretty important question for all of us to consider isn't it?

Winter Conditions

Much of the United States recently experienced some rather severe and prolonged winter weather.  In a good portion of the country there was relentless snow over extended periods of time, some deep, deep freezing, mixtures of freezing rain and ice on occasion, and the result took its toll on the motoring public.  Even public transportation was not exempted as was witnessed by flight cancellations, closed airports, and frozen switches on commuter train tracks. 

Winter driving conditions can offer us a perspective on life conditions:

1. When it is storming out, we find it necessary to slow down our driving just to survive.   As we go about our daily lives, we also need to slow down when we experience storms. 
2. When conditions are really terrible, things can stop working or get shut down.  In life when conditions are terrible, we need to understand that we, as humans, can reach a breaking point and guard against any shut down.
3. Roadways and bridges are susceptible to black ice....we don't see it coming and when we get into it it is easy to lose control.  In our everyday lives, when unforseen curveballs come our way it is easy to lose control.
4. In blowing snow or blizzard conditions our visibility is severely limited when driving.  In life there are plenty of smoke screens that we need to guard against because they can limit our vision of what is right and necessary.
5. No matter how bad the storm, how much ice, or how wicked the blizzard, in time it ends.  In life, no matter the obstacles that come our way, God has always faithfully promised that this too will pass and that He will never give us more than we can handle.

When we know, which we usually do, that severe winter weather is approaching, the prudent person prepares for it in advance so that he is equipped to deal with it when it happens.  In our daily lives, we are offered many opportunities and the means to prepare for and deal with lifes storms.  The choices we make as we spiritually prepare for lifes storms will govern how we weather those storms and will reveal our true character when those storms reach us.

Jesus Loves Me This I Know

Let's have a show of hands here.  Ok, figuratively.  How many of you went to Sunday School as a kid?  Or, how many of you went to church camp as a kid?  Or maybe Vacation Bible School?  If you did any of those as a child, I'd bet my middle right foot toe that you sang "Jesus Loves Me" plenty of times and that you still know the words.  And if you had children yourselves you may have even sung that simple, yet powerful song, with them at some point in time.

Did you ever watch a group of kids sing that song?  If so, you probably noticed not only how serious they all were as they sang it, but how enthusiastic they were as well.  I can just picture it now as I write this...all the fidgeting, smiling, big wide eyes, gaped teeth, and loud voices singing....rather, proclaiming with a real sense of possession...."yes, Jesus love me, yes Jesus love me.....for the Bible tells me so!"...and they always seemed to put so much emphasis on that last statement.  Talk about an expression of blind faith !!

Now I don't know about you, but I melt when I hear kids sing that.  You know why?  Because when I hear them sing it it is bringing back memories of a happy time in my own youth.  More importantly, however, it reminds me of simpler and less complex times, when purity and values were revered and lived on a much grander scale than they are today.  In reminding me of those times it is also revealing, as if in a spotlight, just how different things, and us...including me, are today.

Do you find yourself yearning for some of those simpler less complex times?  Do you kind of wish time could just slow down a bit so that perhaps that could happen? 

Here's a point I have found.  I have far more control over how un-simple my life is than I have realized.  My life doesn't have to be complex and overwhelming...irregardless of my circumstances.  If I stay out of my own way and pay attention to what God's will is for me, I am sure that my life will be far simpler than it is.  All I have to do is remember that God's own Son, Jesus, was a very, very simple man....a carpenter in fact, and that it was Jesus who came to show us the way to be more God like. 

It doesn't get any simpler than that.  Maybe, just as a reminder, we need to sing "Jesus Loves Me" as a congregation in church once in a while.

Ford

I've always leaned toward Chevrolets or GMC's as opposed to Fords, for no particular reason.  It was just that way.  I remember when I was way back young, mom and dad bought a new car and it was a Studebaker for cryin' out loud.  You know, one of those ugly cars that you couldn't tell if it was coming or going.  Of course nowadays I'd love to have that car.  Talk about a collectible.

So my bent toward General Motor products most likely didn't come from my parents.  Maybe it was peer pressure, because I do distinctly remember hearing, a lot in fact, that Ford stood for Fix Or Repair Daily, and it was always said with a bit of disdain or even a mocking manner.

As humans, we are a driven lot.  Our bosses drive us.  Our families drive us.  Our friends drive us.  And, we drive ourselves...perhaps harder than any of the others.  We are a driven people much of our lives.  We are driven to succeed.  We are driven to provide.  We are driven to meet the demands of others.  You getting the picture here?

If I had a choice, I would want the vehicle that is my life to be a Ford.  Because I know that if I keep it fixed and repaired on a daily basis, there is a far greater chance of me being a better man, husband and father than if I don't.  With all that is upon our plates in this daily business of life, it behooves each of us to pay attention to all of our parts at all times so that they don't get out of repair.  And that is especially true of our spiritual condition and our hearts.

So I'll just be a Ford.

God does have a sense of humor

The only times we never had a dog were those short periods of time between dogs when we were looking for the "right" one.  We have always been dog people, and have loved them as much as family members (which they really are once they steal your heart...something dog lovers are only too sure about).

Because of that special bond that seems to automatically form between dog and man and dog, I can see how they are referred to as man's best friend.  I submit that there are any number of characteristics that dogs possess that make that bond so strong:

• they love us unconditionally
• they are extremely faithful and loyal to us
• they will always protect us
• they are beyond patient with us
• they are constant companions
• they are happy when we are connected with them
• our faults don't seem to bother them
• they aren't biased or prejudiced
• they are fully forgiving
• etc, etc

Going through that list, I can't pick out one single characteristic that shouldn't be a part of my make up as a human being.  Those characteristics are the same characteristics God has shown me throughout his Word and by example.  They are, in fact, how He wants me to be as one of His children.  They are characteristics that I fall way short of.  What a lesson I could learn from my dogs.

Which brings me to the thought of God's sense of humor.  Is it possible that God made dogs as man's best friend so that we would always have those God like characteristics right in front of our noses at all times.  And isn't it ironic that man's best friend, dog, is God spelled backwards?

 



Heavy Baggage

Have you ever taken a flight into or out of O'hare, Denver, Atlanta, Phoenix or Los Angeles?  I have, and I believe they call them terminals to remind us that by the time we make our way around the labyrinth of hallways and concourses we will feel terminally tired from carrying our suitcases all that way.  Taking a trip reminds us that our baggage can weigh us down.

In life we carry baggage, and I'm no exception.  Case in point....many years ago a friend of mine who had made a life changing decision because of some things I shared with him moved out of state.  Prior to moving he had accepted Christ and we enjoyed months of good fellowship.  After he moved, we never saw each other again.

But every Christmas, without fail, I would get a Christmas card from him and it usually had a note in it.  And here is where it gets cheesy.  As the years passed, I stopped acknowledging the cards and notes.  In my twisted mind I figured that where he was at was a place I'd never forseeably be, and that the past was the past and that was it.  And this process was all about my convenience, not about his feelings.  Pretty doggone sad, and very, very small of me.

This Christmas, as always, I got a Christmas card from him, and the usual note.  And because God, with His undaunting patience and unlimited grace, has worked me over significantly the past year, I was moved to read Terrill's card and note....and more importantly, respond to it.  On reading the note I came to realize just how much Terrill valued the change in his life since the days of our earlier conversations, and what being saved meant to him.  He had survived, over the years, 5 brain operations, and he placed the successes of those surgeries squarely in God's hands.  And he has spent all of those years simply trying to thank me for that tremendous inner peace he had found because of our conversations.

As I mentioned above, this time I responded to him.  I felt very moved to simply confess to him that I had been so wrong in walking from the long distance relationship and to ask his forgiveness for my boorishness.  I got a letter back from my response, and as friends we are well once again.

The point of this is a learning one.  I was carrying baggage.  I was aware that each year he was reaching out, and I was ignoring it.  I was aware that he did not want distance to kill the friendship.  And I was aware that what I was doing was not only killing it, but it was wrong.  And it turned out to be heavy baggage that I was carrying around.  Now I am no longer carrying that baggage, and my load is lighter.  Getting rid of the baggage the right way was not easy, but it sure made the load lighter.

How much unwanted baggage are we as individuals carrying around with us each and every day, and how much is that baggage weighing us down?  That begs the question:

What can I do to get rid of unecessary and unwanted baggage in my life?

Stop, Look, Listen

More years ago than I care to remember (yes, my face does resemble a roadmap) I took driver's ed in school.  Be nice now, it was NOT in a Model T!  This was in the day and age when there wasn't a crossing arm at every railroad track crossing.  A mantra etched in the mind of the instructor whenever we approached any tracks was "stop-look-listen" and the instructor was very liberal at passing that sage advice along to us newbies.  The purpose of that simplistic advice is obvious.  It likely kept a lot of people alive.

I don't believe that mantra should be forgotten in today's world.  It is too important to simply discard or forget.  To be sure, it is rarely be needed at railroad crossings anymore.  Nowadays most, if not all, have crossing gates to warn us of the danger.  But what about in our personal lives?

When I view the intersection of my mind and my heart as a railroad crossing, here is what comes to mind:

• my mind can easily be like a runaway train...a trainwreck waiting to happen (how many times have I proven that!)
• God does often speak to my heart

See where I'm going with this one? 

In God's infinite wisdom, He gave us all the ability to make choices.  In the case of some hard learners (like me), bad choices are made easily, and they often come with bad results for both me and sometimes to those around me.  Choices begin in the mind---do I do it or not, do I say it or not, do I want it or not, etc., etc., ad infinitum. 

With each choice also comes a consequence.  Consequences are either rewarding (when good choices are made) or crosses we must bear (when bad choices are made).  If I am like most folks, I like comfort.  And high on my comfort list is the rewarding feeling I get from the consequence of a good decision.

So when I find myself pressed on a significan choice I have to make, it really helps me to:

1. stop what I'm doing or thinking and just be still for a bit....
2. look for what God might be showing me
3. listen to what He is saying to me

It sure beats having to bear the consequence of another train wreck.

The more I decide to use the old adage of stop-look-listen to my daily life, the better I will be. 

Evil will not win

Since time began, bad things have happened to good people.  There has been no shortage of senseless tragedies.  In recent times, two of the most horrific tragedies have been the 9-11 Twin Towers event and the Sandy Hook school masacre in late 2012.

Whenever events like these occur, some folks (informed christians and non-believers alike) ask one or the other of the following questions:

1.  "how can God let something like this happen"?
2.  "if God is so good, why does He let things like this happen"? 

There have been many good books written addressing those issues.  My personal answer to those questions is a simple faith centered answer....I don't know why, I just have to trust God and His judgement.  Some folks might find that reasoning flawed and would challenge it.  Since I am a rather simplistic person who lacks good debating skills, I prefer to simply feel comfortable that I am on the right track with that reasoning.

That said, I strongly believe several things:

• tragic events of a horrific nature will never stop occurring as long as there are people. 
• no matter what legal or preventative measures are put into place, they will occur.
• evil human nature is not legislatable by man. 
• governance can control some behaviors, but not all.

My whole premise in writing this particular posting follows.  Given the above, it is clear to me that we have only one real choice to make when evil does occur:   we can overcome evil or we can let evil win.  As long as I breathe I will not let evil win.  And I believe that every other christian would say the same thing.  Why?  Because our God is mightier than all of the evil in the world.  We have the choice to believe that or not as a people, and that is a significant separation point.

Here is one mother's take on that:

 





The Walls

How many times have you heard or said "if those walls could only talk"?  That saying is usually brought up when some perceived "juicy" gossip  is talked about, a deal made, a suspected secret matter discussed, or the like, any of which was beyond our ability to hear or be apart of.  We weren't privy to that information.

Did you ever wonder what was going on with a friend, relative, or partner, because in your gut you just sensed that someting was wrong or off?  And if you happened to ask them, you got the response "nothings wrong, I'm fine" your suspicions were heightened because the vibes were just too strong.

We mask.  That's what we do.  We not only mask our emotions, feelings, and thoughts....we build up walls.  I do.  I always have, and most likely I always will to one degree or another.  Something to do with human nature.

That said, one of the hardest things I have been able to accept is that there really are folks with kind hearts who want nothing but the best for me.  But sometimes the walls I put up get pretty hard to see through or get over.  And those are the kind of walls that don't talk. 

It's easy to forget that there is no wall that ever stops God.  None.  And it is equally easy to forget that God uses people to help His people.  Therefore it behooves me to let my walls down, and talk....if I am going to continue to try to grow.

Sanity on Sunday

Sundays are special days for me anymore.  I like the idea of having a good loafing day, and Sundays qualify for that.  I like football games and Nascar.  Sundays provide that.  I like the idea of not having to get up to go to work for a day.  Sundays allow that.

Those aren't, however, the reasons that Sundays are special for me.  Here's why.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes things happen inside your head and heart as the week works its way toward the weekend?  Maybe, like can happen to me, you are edgier, and find it easy not to be so tolerant of others.  Or perhaps, as the week progressed you got lazy paying attention to your inner self and your relationships with others, family, and God.  And more.  You know, the daily business of life just seems to increasingly get in the way of what really matters as the week creeps its way from Monday to Saturday.  Maybe because that time has become your enemy instead of your friend. Ugh!

Forutnately, this is happening less and less for me these days, because I have found that in spite of any exigent circumstances, I really need to go to the hospital on Sundays.  So I do.  I am compelled to, in fact.  Because I really, really need to get my weekly dose of Sanity on Sunday at the best hospital I have found....one that caters to my emotional, intellectual, and most importantly my spiritual needs as I daily tread through the the waters of this insane asylum (as I sometimes refer to it) of life....my church home.

 



Please, please don't take this to mean that only Sunday's matter.  Far from it.  But it is that dose of Sanity on Sunday that helps steer the ship the rest of the week if I do what I am supposed to do during those days.

The Perfect Man, Husband, Father

As follows is a well thought out description of the perfect man, husband, and father:






















Pretty well put wasn't it?  If I read that correctly, I guess I will never be a perfect man, husband, or father.  But there again, I knew all along I wasn't.   All I really want to be is a better man, husband, and father each and every day that I'm still alive, so I guess I'll just continue to ask God to help me work on that. 

How about you?

Dangerous Playground

Years ago I spent a lot of evenings and Saturday mornings in church basements and smoky meeting rooms.  I hung out at those places with a wide variety of folks who were there for the same purpose--to get their heads screwed on right.  There were plenty of times back then when I surely must have resembled an over sized Charley McCarty puppet with it's head on backwards.  You know....that stupid grin with the expression that has "what's goin' on" stamped all over it!!

That was then, and now is now.  Sure, there are still times when some might wonder if that head still isn't on just a bit backwards, but for the most part it's eyes front with focus.  Blessings will never cease. 

One of the things I heard over and over from a friend of mine in those basements and meeting rooms was this:  "My mind is a dangerous playground, and I have no business going there by myself."  I remember the first time he said that I thought..."come on man, what are you talking about?"  In the long run, I am glad that I heard that sage advice over and over.

You see, even today....as solid as I feel, and think I am, I realize that my mind is still a dangerous playground and it can still get me into a lot of trouble.  I can make "decisions" that are no better than double knee jerk reactions.  I can go off on tangents that are more like 1000' cliffs.  And I can get myself into t-r-o-u-b-l-e! 

I'm not talking about everyday normal matters here.  I'm talking about things, situations, and matters that can have important outcomes on my daily life and how I am with myself, other folks, and God.  If I don't have accountability it is very, very easy for me to go off the reservation.  I can easily find myself getting back into habits I shouldn't get near.  I will start forgetting the basics, and my behavior will suffer.

Being held accountable by another, preferably a christian brother, is a mixture of tough love, compassion, perception, brutal honesty, and unconditional love.  And it ain't easy.  But, in the long run the results are far better than going to the playground alone.  There's more at stake now that the head is turned around.

Pencil in God's Hand

"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.  Love them anyway."  That's a quote from Mother Teresa.  She's right too.  People are unreasonable, illogical, and self centered.  I am well aware of how well that fits me.

To be sure, the majority of people are most likely not that way all of the time but let's face it,  because we are humans we are inclined toward those traits more than we would like to be and possibly more than we would admit.  I know only too well how I fit into that picture.  And if one would need further proof, they could go to an authority on that subject....my wife.

I don't think anyone is proud, happy, or content being unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.  I do think that the vast majority of folks recognize those characteristics as less than desirable to have.  Some are quick to recognize them, others a bit slower, and sadly there are some who will never "get it".

Part of my daily regime in dealing with those flaws, is to journal.  Another is to bring them up in my nightly conversations with God (why not...He is already well aware of them).  One more is self-talk, which can take place at any time.  I get a lot of "what did you say's" when I do that, but it's easy just to mumble that I was just talking to myself and go on reminding myself quietly aloud that I just screwed up...again.  Hardest of all, though, is apologizing to someone when one of those flaws has been so well expressed that it may have hurt them.  But it's gotta be done if I am ever going to be able to start to keep those flaws in check.

I figure that if I keep working on it, one of these days I might be able to live up to the following, which is another quote from Mother Teresa:

“I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.” 

It seems to me that it must be both easier and more fun being part of a love letter than hate mail.  By being part of His love letter,  when we get to the end of the road of life we can hear the greatest words we will ever hear...."well done"!

The Biggest Enemy in the World

"I don't have an enemy in the world."  I can't tell you how many times I have heard that over the course of my life.  I've even been known to use that term now and then when asked if I had any enemies.  To say that I had any could be an indication that I wasn't a very nice guy and had made someone really angry at me, or that I had done something really bad to someone.  Well I lied.  I do have an enemy.  I have the biggest enemy in the world.

The biggest enemy in the world lives very, very close to me.  That's right.  My biggest enemy is me.  My enemy is that part of me that doesn't like me, the one who will try to tear me down in a heartbeat.  It's the one who will try to dictate and direct my bad behavior, the one who will win out more than I would ever like when:

• something doesn't go my way
• I think someone is trying to best me
• I perceive a hurt that really wasn't meant
• I am sure that someone doesn't really like me
• etc, etc, etc you get the picture etc

That is the enemy that prevents me from being forgiving and giving someone the benefit of the doubt.  It is the same one that will throw those hurtful words into and out of my mouth faster than one of Clint Eastwood's bullets.  And, yep, it will be the same one that amps up (as I heard today) my "conclusion gland" so that I can draw a wrong conclusion about someone or something.

It took an awfully long time before I ever knew I had an enemy, and as time has passed I have realized that I myself am Public Enemy #1.  No one can shoot my foot better than I can.  No one can make a fool out of me better than I can.  No one can stop forward growth progress better than I can.

That said, knowing just exactly who that enemy is also provides for some comic relief....which comes after forgiveness.  Forgiveness of each kind:

1. forgiveness asked for
2. forgiveness graciously received
3. and self forgiveness

But it all starts with the ultimate forgiver....God.  Once I accept His forgiveness, public enemy #1 ever so slowly begins to realize that he's just not going to bully me around anymore.

Jacked up on Jesus

When I wrote this post a few nights ago it was one of those nights when I had had a relaxing day, everything was going really nice, relationally everything was pretty much at a peak, and I was feeling absolutely no stress.  None, that is, until I went to bed at 11 o'clock at night....about 2 hours past my normal time of going to bed (I'm one of those....like to hit the rack early and love to get up early).  It had been a day of just hanging around home....and really enjoying it.  That doesn't always happen.

It was one of those nights that occur once in a while.  Maybe you have experienced them.  I went to bed, just tired enough that it logically seemed the right time to do so.  I got really comfortable...you know...just on the edge of nappyville, close to the intersection of pleasant sleep and sweet dreams.  But it happened.  I couldn't sleep.  Nothing was bothering me.  My mind and heart were clear.  I was comfortable with myself (my inner self) and I just knew that my heart was full of Gods love and grace.  I was happy.

And I couldn't sleep.

And I couldn't sleep.

And I got up.  And after a bit of introspection, I came to realize why I couldn't sleep and why I got up.  It was one of those rare times, those wonderful times, those filling times, those awesome times, when I was just plain Jacked up on Jesus.

I can remember, vividly, when in the not too distant past I surely would have scoffed (maybe even out loud) had anyone ever told me they were jacked up on Jesus.  My eyeballs would have been rolling (you know the look) and my reaction would have been "oh no, a Jesus freak."  Been there and done that a lot in my life.  Pretty judgemental, eh?

You know what?  I really like feeling Jacked up on Jesus.  I like how I feel inside when I am Jacked up on Jesus.  I like how I think when I am Jacked up on Jesus.  I like how I act when I am Jacked up on Jesus.  And I really like who I am when I am Jacked up on Jesus.

So let me ask you, and it's something I should have asked myself a long time ago....what's wrong with being Jacked up on Jesus?

I can't answer that question.  Can you?

Contributors Welcome

The purpose of this blog is to offer a series of real-life snippets about the daily business of life from the perspective of  christian men trying to be better men. A better man = better husband=better father.  It is hoped that the forum will provide struggling, hurting, questioning, broken, and/or doubtful men the opportunity to see that in this walk of life we all are alike in so many ways....that our only real differences lie in our ability to recognize, accept, and deal with our brokeness as we try to be Godly men as we come to know the powerful value of God's grace and the redemption we receive as a result.

If you would like to be a contributor to the blog you are more than welcome.  Here are some bullet points about contributors:

• You don't have to have any writing experience. 
• You don't have to be perfect (Lord knows I'm not). 
• You can do it on a whim if writing is something you have thought you would like to try.
• You don't have to be afraid....there's nothing to fear in helping others.
• Fancy degrees of any kind not necessary.  The best degrees are those obtained from the School of Hard Knocks.

The contributor will need to be someone who is humble, real, and passionate about his continuing spritiual growth.  He should be zealous about helping others.  It is all about heart.

To become a contrubitor, use the contact me area on the page and we will start talking and getting to know each other a bit. (a nice way of saying "vetting".

The Director

Here is an abbreviated inside look at some of the things that make me tick.  I suspect I am not alone.

• I like outcomes.
• I don't like the suspense of waiting for outcomes
• When patience was doled out, they ran out before it was my turn to get some
• I am often pretty sure I can do it better than someone else (whatever that "it" is)
• Did I mention that I like outcomes and don't like waiting for them?

What do those things say about me as a person?  How do those things that make me tick play out in my daily life?  In other words, what am I saying about myself here?

Simply this:  It is really, really easy for me to want to be The Director.  What does The Director do?  He engineers outcomes, most generally toward his own advantage.  When directing (though it may not be obvious to others at the time) I am usually doing something with an ulterior motive in mind, one clearly advantageous to moi!  And without regard for the fact that in doing so it may actually be to someone else's disadvantage (or worse yet, that they may be hurt in some way by my actions). 

Good Directors will often come across as just regular guys.  If they are really good at laying their smoke screens, they may come across as quiet, unassuming, humble, considerate men.  For much of the time anyway.  Need I mention that this is yet another insidious mind game I can very easily fall into?

There is a long laundry list of those times in my life as a man, a husband, and as a father where I have been more than a man, a husband, and a father.  I have been The Director.  And why?  Not because I knew better, or knew what was best.  Nope.  It was because:

1. I can be selfish
2. I can let my ego get in the way of being a decent man
3. It can be easy for me not to trust someone
4. It can be real easy for me to want to be in charge
5. It can be difficult for me to want to consider compromise
6. etc, etc, etc....you get the picture.

If I am going to be a better man, husband, and father I simply cannot be The Director.  In fact, if I am going to be a better man, husband, and father I really need The Real Director in my life at ALL times, and not selective times (like I would sometimes rather).  The Lord is my real director....if I will only let Him.

The Window

Were someone to wonder, or even ask me,  why I seem to be self depricating in my postings, I would have to say that it's a fair question.  In looking over the posts it may appear that the purpose of the posts are to commit a public flogging of myself to some.  So I'll cut to the chase here.

It is all about T-R-A-N-S-P-A-R-E-N-C-Y....as in transparency, openess, being real, being not afraid of my dirty little secrets, about being clear about my brokeness as a man.  And, you say, the purpose of that is.....?

We all have our windows of life.  Sometimes those windows can be completely impossible to see either in to our out of.  Sometimes they are opaque.  Sometimes they are rose colored (get it?).  Sometimes we just open the curtains just a little bit.  Other times the windows are wide open and everyone can see in and out. 

Here's the deal.  I am not being self depricating.  I write because of what is in or on my heart at the time, and if it means I have to share a bit of ugliness about myself to write it...well, guess what...it will get written.  And why?  Because I beleive that in order for me to be a better man, father, and husband I cannot leave, hidden away where others will never see them, those little things about me that make me less of a better man, father, and husband.  My inner being tells me that if I have no secrets I am therefore a better man, father, and husband especially because my flaws as a person are visible.  And if my flaws are visible it gives me huge incentive to do something about them because then, I too, am seeing those flaws right smack dab in my face...and I really want to do something about them.  Kind of like the old "out of sight-out of mind" thingy.  If I don't see 'em, I ain't gonna fix 'em. 

Then there is the other added advantage of this thing called transparency.  It is infectious.  Maybe, just maybe, someone reading these posts might just feel a tug at their own heart and they may figure out that they too can be a better man, husband and father because they have decided to let others see into their window.

And lastly, and most importantly.....if I have a dirty window, or I close my window to others, or I only selectively open my windows I can surely hide my brokeness from others, but I will never, ever be able to hide it from God and that is what matters when it comes to the window of my life.

The Fine Line

For a large part of my life I had what many considered (with good reason) a "short fuse".  Now, when you've got a fuse so short it'll go off quicker than a hiccup, it stands to reason that the end result of that mini-explosion is often far from pretty. If you ever meet any of my kids, all you need to do is ask them about chocolate long johns.  Once they stop laughing they will relate a daddy temper story that will pretty near wet your pants from laughing so much.

Now couple a short fuse with a temperment that at times gets excessively passionate (and I don't mean romantically) about politics, patriotism, good vs. evil, causes, and dislikes of pervsion, ignorant stupidity, etc.,  and it's a perfect set up for not only shooting ones self in the foot, but for making a complete fool of ones self....in the present case, me.

I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook and other forms of social media.  I use them, but I really, really, really have to watch myself when I go "there".  Because I have found that there is a very fine line between indignation, healthy anger, righteous anger, nasty anger, and just plain being white hot anger....and I can experience any (or all) of those simply by treading into the world village called Facebook. 

For example:  It is really hard for me NOT to make a comment when someone tells the world that "little Johnny just came in out of the snow and boy is he tired", or similar trivial stuff that no one really cares about, or when they consistently post those "look at me" pictures of themselves.  Those are one example of those times when I really want to make a comment like "who really cares" or something similar.  Maybe it's true, but would that comment really be appropriate or even necessary?  And, being a very conservative christian old school patriotic flag waving red blooded '60's era American you can imagine how I really want to react when I see some of the stuff put on by what I lovingly refer to as "flaming liberals".  Danger zone for the old boy there.

My whole point in all this is THE FINE LINE.  Along this rocky road of life we are all given to tread, there are more than enough pitfalls, obstacles, and obstructions we have to face.  What guys like me don't need is to be making conscious choices to cross that fine line.  Why?  Because there is nothing really to be gained by crossing that fine line, for in doing so I will reveal a side of me that can be vile, nasty, sarcastic, hurtful, spiteful, and relationally damaging.

Oh, did I happen to mention that the fine line is the same line I often have to tread in my daily relationships with family, friends, associates, and folks I don't even know?  See...it's not just on Facebook and other social media outlets....it applies in every aspect of my relational life.  It is so easy, and at times tempting, to not think and cross that fine line....and when that happens I have proven once again just how broken a person I am.  God help me.

At the hospital regularly

There is nothing that can be added to this to make it more effective other than for many years I really did consider church to be the first part of the message.  In recent times, after having started to fully grasp the depth of God's grace and the redemption I have because of it, have I realized just how much of a hospital my church really is....and how much transparency and realness and authenticity is shown toward others by all the other hospital patients that go there.  I so look forward to going to the hospital as much as I can nowadays because this old broken down man is getting himself fixed !!

When I look in the mirror

Most readers who hit this blog will not know that one of my "jobs" is writing lyrics.  I love both country music and christian contemporary music, and thus write lyrics for those genres.  That said, however, the early part of my life was spent writing poetry...an art form that never really has left.  This one popped out of my head this morning as I was thinking about me:

When I look in the mirror

 

When I look in the mirror

who do I see?

Do I see some stranger

or do I see me?

Is the man that I see there

a man loving and kind,

or is the guy standing there,

a man out of his mind?

One thing I’m sure of

as I stand there and stare…

if it’s not me I’m seeing,

I’d best turn to prayer.

‘cause it’s a sign I’ve lost sight of

some things to hold dear..

like being more Christ like

and keeping Him near.

If I can’t be comfy

seein’ me in my skin

it means I am living

with way too much sin.  



It really is ok !!

This may well be the shortest post I will ever write.

When you nicely beat one of life's little challenges, it is perfectly ok to give yourself an atta-boy.  I have been heard to say to myself at times (me being the listener in those cases)..."Damn I am good"!
And you really do want to keep those atta-boys to yourself.  To broadcast them means your ego is really involved (not good) because you want others to hear you.  Uncle Joe's tip:  keep it to yourself.

You will be surprised at how that continues to build you up in your journey down life's dirt road.

In case you don't get what I am talking about here, take a minute and read the previous post.

Life's little challenges

Life just gives us all kinds of little challenges.  Now some would disagree with that.  Not that there are challenges, but that they are little challenges.  But hear me out here.  Since I'm of the opinion that life itself (that is doing life as I should) is a huge challenge, anything else that comes along is small by comparison.  Hence, little challenges.

Yesterday brought one of those challenges to me, one which continued right through until this morning.  That challenge was a stopped up double sink in the kitchen....with lots of dirty dishes and pans to do.  And the heat was on...all the teaspoons had been used, and wife needs at least one a day for her tea fixins.  It was stopped up because we live in a mega-old house with mega-old plumbing, that I can only assume has enough schmutz lining the insides of the pipes to fill the Washington Monument.  So after a trip to the Home Depot to buy a canister of the worlds most super pipe unclogger (don't they all say that!!), and later on after another trip to the Ace Hardware to buy another brand of the world's most super-duper pipe unclogger (yep, the first one didn't get it done), I finally gave up.  This after trying plungering and using a pipe worm to clear it as well. 

Alas, this morning I started the battle again....mere mortal man vs the godzilla of pipe clogs...because lo and behold, that gunky slimy mess which had been captured in the sinks had either evaporated or seeped on out the drains overnight because the sinks were empty.  I suspect the latter there.  Anyway, as soon as I put some hot water in the sink.....no surprise, I found they each held water....yep, without my putting the stoppers in.  Clogged still, what can I say.  I went to battle with renewed effort.  I went thru 2 whole containers (using just a bit at a time) of the unclogger and boiling water.....and eventually the water ran as fast out of the sinks as I was putting it in.  Mortal man won....but not before stinking up the whole house because those non liquid uncloggers are lye based.  Yikes, and phew!!!!

The second little challenge was more personal than the sinks, and happened this morning while I was working on challenge #1.  In between running more smell up the house drain unclogger, I was at the computer and threw a piece of Nicorette gum in my mouth.  Not a bad idea for those times when a former smoker really wants a smoke...you know....challenge + coffee  = huge desire for a cigarette (enough so that you really want to forget about the bad lungs and the pneumonia one just got over).  Here is the real challenge that was presented me.  I have false teeth.  Most gums do NOT like false teeth, and they will latch onto the teeth like a prostitute latches onto her payment.  Nuff said.  I now had gummy false teeth.  Thank you Lord!!  (That would be for Google.)  I found out how to unstick stuck gum from false teeth in easy order, and now am the proud owner of gum free false teeth once again..

Here's my whole point of the above.  I had choices in how to deal with the above two challenges.  In an earlier time (in the not too distant past, in fact) I had a whole arsenal of methods to deal with life's little challenges.  To name a few:

• swearing proficiently was at the top of the list
• hitting things (not people, fortunately) and throwing things wasn't far behind
• getting so worked up that my blood pressure equaled Mt. Everest for height
• in general, making a total ass out of myself

Rarely, if ever, did any of those tools in my Dealing With Life's Challenges Tool Box work in solving any of life's little challenges. 

For the better part of a year now I have made a many-times-daily effort to convince myself that if I remain KIND and CALM  at all times, no matter the circumstances, I won't automatically reach for any of those lesser tools in my tool box.  And if that is so, then it becomes easier for me to take a more reasoned, thought out, patient, logical, and God like approach to solving life's little challenges.

The little train that could

I guess there are a lot of folks who can remember the story about the little train that could, or if they are like me perhaps just the gist of it.  While I don't remember all the details (heck, it's been 40-45 years since I had kids at the age where I would have been doing that story with them.  And since that was in a very dark time of my life there is a good possibility I wouldn't have anyway...but that's for a later story.  What I think I remember, though, is that the theme was that the little train faced adversity.  Hmmmm, don't we all.  Hmmmm, I sure do.  And on a daily basis too.

To be more specific, my daily adversity is those things which gets in the way of  my growing up.  Those things that I do on auto-pilot, which in retrospect make me say "why did I just do that?" or "I can't believe I just said that". And other things....sometimes just things I think and almost immediatly regret thinking because I know it was just stinky thinking.  You know what I'm talking about.  Stuff we all do, some more than others, on a semi regular basis which we really scold ourselves about minutes later.  Only to go on and repeat doing again in record time.  And that's after we catch ourselves.  Adversity to growing up.

Tonight when I go to bed and do my daily soul baring/and sharing with (not to) God I think I'll just keep it simple as I again ask for strength to just be kind and be calm....and I'll add a new one.  I know I can, I know I can....with Your help.  The train conductor can surely help me.

Mind Tricks

So I've been sitting watching one of the BCS bowl games and I find my mind wandering.  Treading into areas that I really wish it wouldn't go to.  Ever happen to you?  Be honest now.

I'm talking about mind tricks.  On one hand, I want to be unassuming, kind, non-judgemental, and to not think ill of anyone.  In the same instance I find myself making comments about the female on-field reporter (who I have consistently referred to as he-male wannabe jockettes).  And then I find myself making comments about the fact that one of the teams apparently issues helmet stickers every time a player takes a poop, because there are so many of them....so many, in fact, that surely they must have run out of room and now must put stickers on their jock straps.  See where I'm going with this?  Is this "normal"?  Better yet, is it right?  And even more disturbingly.....what does it say about me as a person...a) that I think these things, and b) that I express them?

I am convinced that one of the stumbling blocks to building a new past is mind tricks. 

Trees get new leaves each year, and so should man...or Building a New Past

Since 2014 is just starting out, I have found it fitting to so some serious introspection over the past few days.  Not to make New Years resolutions....we all know how that goes.  No, more like "what is it about me that I don't like and how best can I spend my time changing that this year". 

Would I like to lose a few pounds?  Sure...a lot of folks would.

Would I like to eat a better diet of food?  ditto

Would I like to get more rest?  ditto

And the list could go on.  You get the picture.  No, what I am talking about is how I can best use the time I will be given in 2014 (whatever that time may be....and, hint, we never know do we?) to make me a better me.  Why?  Simply so I can be a better man, a better husband, and a better dad.  If I have learned anything throughout the years I have been allowed to grace this earth is that there is always work to be done to accomplish that...always.

So this blog journey will be a series of postings  about that journey.  I don't think that it is necessary to go into all the details of my journey up to this point.  Suffice it to say, I spent a major portion of my life not being a very nice guy.  Oh, to be sure, a lot of folks thought I was nice....but I have always been a pretty good actor, and I could keep several of the Joe Miller's hidden pretty well.  But the bottom line is, I have always known me better than anyone else, and I haven't always liked me very much because I knew just how much I was driven by those hidden Joe Miller's that most folks never even got a glimpse of.  So history isn't important here....nothing can be changed. 

What can be changed is what and who I am today, and that will help determine the what and who I will be tomorrow if God sees fit to give me a tomorrow. So this whole journey, via this blog, will explore a hodge-podge of random thoughts, brainwaves, halelulia moments, epiphanies, a-ha's and whatever that all deal with the ongoing process of change for the betterment. 

Here are some things I know (and I don't know a whole lot) with certainty:

• I have no way of knowing how long I will reside on this earth
• I believe in God
• therefore I believe that I can go to heaven when I do leave this earth
• and thus, I need to be the kind of man who will be brought into the kingdom when that time comes.
• which all means, that every moment that I am in the now counts toward that end and....
• I can either utilize that time, or blow it.

Knowing those things helps me to focus more on what I need to do with my life than what I want to do with my life, as well as those things that I can do to keep me kingdom directional.

So the blog will be all about building a new past, just as the trees getting new leaves each year.  It will be about one man's journey  down life's rocky road toward betterdom.