Thanks man

"God is great.  God is good.  Now we thank Him for our food."  I couldn't even begin to think how many times I said that grace before meal as a little child.  It had to be a ton of times.  In my early days, the family (meaning my sister or I) prayed when at the meal table at meal time.  And ever since, it has always been a bit of a treat to hear some little child pray that way for a meal when I have been around to hear it.

That was a simplistic prayer, one I am sure must have been made just for cherubic little children....easy to learn, easy to remember, and easy to say...and coming from the mouths and hearts of little children, very seriously prayed.

Sometimes I think we adults get too complicated about praying.  Especially when praying with others.  So often, at least to my mind, for some reason we feel we have to sound "churchy" in our prayers.  I suspect that may well carry over to our evening prayers, whether with family or alone.  Somewhere along the line I think a lots of us have the notion that we have to talk with God in some "special" way.

Consider this.  In general, when conversing with others, are you pretty much consistent in how you converse with them...whether it is family, friends, strangers, associates, or work?  What I'm getting at here is why converse differently with God?  If we consider that he is Abba, Our Father, why can't we just talk with Him as we would talk with our earthly father?  Jesus, God's son, conversed the same with those on earth He came in contact with, as He did with His father...God.  Why should we be any different?

I think sometimes we just try to get too complicated when we pray.  We want to "sound right".  I think we have this underlying feeling that if we don't "sound right" we aren't right....and that is a bunch of bunk.  I myself feel so much freer just being simple in my prayers.  I feel more honest and open when I stumble sometimes when praying, and I tend not to be wordy and "churchy" because that just isn't the real me...and when I am praying I really want the real me praying to the real God...just having a conversation with Him...just like I would with my dad were he still alive.

Sometimes simple is just better.



Stumble, fall, hit the wall

I had an interesting conversation with a man I highly respect a week or so ago.  He is one of the most humble and deeply spiritual men I know.  We were talking and he mentioned that sometimes he feels that being a christian is a huge crazy-maker.  He went on to say that sometimes he felt that the harder he tries to strengthen his christianity, the more he sometimes doubts that he is succeeding, the more character faults he finds, and the more he sees behavior in himself that isn't "right".  I think he hit it right on the head.

I know I am a mess.  I know I fail at times.  I know I doubt at times.  I know I stumble and fall.  And I know sometimes I hit the wall.  And yet, I know I am a christian, and much like my friend, that just sometimes seems like a crazy-maker.  It seems that the more I know myself, the more bad I see in myself, and the less I like myself because of it. 

Some would say that is a part of the spiritual warfare that takes place within us as we continue our quest to know and follow Christ more.  I believe that is part of it.  I also believe that as we continue our quest to know and follow Christ more, the more aware we are of that which is in us that is broken that we need to submit to Christ for His healing.  We discover things about us that we simply cannot fix ourselves, and thus we have to yield those things to God for His healing.  We aren't crazy....our brokeness is just getting better....bit by bit.  All we need to know and understand and trust in is that:

 

God is, and always has been, with us and He has always loved us...no matter what.

 

 

The longest bridge

Doubt.  Fear.  Hesitancy.  Unwillingness.  Whining.  Those are things I do, or feelings I have, at those times when I know I have to do something and about which I have no clue as to a possible outcome.  I think that is universal among most of us humans.  It almost seems that needing to know possible results is a part of our collective DNA.

Polar opposite to doubt is faith.  And it is faith that can put the K.O. to fear, hesitancy, unwillingness, and whining.  In looking at faith, we can see that it is multi-dimensional.  When faced with situations in which we can see several possible outcomes, much less faith is needed to take the leap than in situations in which we have no clue what the outcomes may be.  Some things just need pure, unadulterated, leaps of faith.  Like where our lives are headed.

Over the years, I discovered that I really do like to be in control.  No, that doesn't mean I am a control freak in the sense that most understand control freaks.  Rather, I had this really strong urge to control my own destiny, run my life as I thought it needed to be run.  If God and I happened to be in sync with my plans for my life, well... all was good.  It was at those times when I felt that He was clearly letting me know in one way or another that His plan differed from mine that I would start to balk and get a bit whiney.  I knew, after all, that I could fully trust me and my judgement, and that His was just a good back-up plan for my own.  Perhaps that is why I often found myself in jams, under undue stress, and sometimes unhappy!

I think we all take some lumps in life because to one degree or another we lack that thing called faith.  After a while it just gets more comfortable not taking those lumps, so gradually we come to trust God more and more with our lives.  Some of the most beautiful things I have learned are:

• God will never give me more than I can handle
• He will never leave me
• His plan for me is a better plan than I could ever make
• His plan includes a lifetime with Him when I die

All we need to do is to know that God has a plan for us all, and have the faith to follow that plan and to see it to fruition. 

That is the greatest example of faith we can have, because by doing so we are entrusting our lives to do whatever, whenever, and wherever God wants us to do.  Much like those who are blind, who have to rely on other senses, people, and dogs to lead them,  I need to be blind to myself and allow God to lead me.  That's pure faith. 

Pure faith is like the longest bridge in the world.  That bridge, the bridge of faith, is spanning our lifetime...from now until we get where He is leading us....ultimately to be with Him.

 

The only thing that matters if I have faith is where I am now.  I won't be alone on the bridge.  God will be with me....and you.







Toads

A bit ago I wrote what I call a "just for fun" song.  For whatever reason, as a lyricist (as well as a blogger) every once in a while I have to do someting just for the fun of it.  The song I mentioned will never make it to the Demo stage, but one never knows.  After all, there have been several catchy and obviously "just for fun" songs written over the years that did catch the public's eye.  The name of the song I am referring to is "Road Toads" and it came about one day after several annoying experiences while I was driving:

• someone wasn't paying a lot of attention to their driving because they were on their cell phone.
• a pack of bicycle riders who acted as if they "owned" the road were on a narrow, hilly rural road which was full of traffic at the time
• several drivers refused to use turn signals.

I thought of them, at the time, as road toads, and couldn't wait to pen some words about the experience of ignorant people doing stupid things which annoy "normal" people.....like me.  As misguided as that thinking was, I suppose it was better to think of a song to write than to swear at them, yell at them, or otherwise bring myself to that level of temporary stupidity.

I had pretty much forgotten that whole episode until today when I had one of those "flashes".  You know...a brain burp.  It popped into my noggin that we are all toads.....in a way.  No, we're not ugly like toads are perceived, nor are we hop around bug eaters.  But, as different as we are from toads, we, as humans, do bear a similarity.....we all have warts.  All of us.  I sure have my share.  No, I don't mean the kind of warts that can be medically removed.  The warts I am referring to are:

• there is a degree of brokeness about us
• we are not really complete
• we have done things we wish we hadn't
• we keep doing things we wish we wouldn't
• we sin
• etc.

The best thing that I can do when I feel judgemental about someone else is to remember that I am like a toad.  I have my own warts that need attention.  By doing so, I will focus on my own warts, not those of others, and in turn several things will happen to make me a better man, husband, and father:

• my warts will begin to get acknowledged, and "fixing" can begin
• I will feel better about myself as a result
• because I feel better about myself, I will be more tolerant about others faults
• most likely I will end up a much kinder, gentler, and happier man as a result.

As lowly as most folks think a toad is, maybe being a toad by recognizing my own warts isn't so bad after all.  Maybe there's a song there..."I'm glad to be a toad".

I hate that

What is hate?  It means to feel hostility toward, to detest.  I have found the word hate to be a, well, hateful word.  It is a negative term that is most often used to describe an over the top, passionate, dislike for something or someone.  For a very long time in my life, hate was a part of my vocabulary and my mindset: 

• I grew up in Florida before Disney, and before Florida became a mecca for anyone other than native Floridians (except Miami).  And a part of those formative years we lived in Georgia, never known in those times as being anything other than rural hick.  This was in the '50's and early 60's.  The culture then was it was natural to "hate" blacks....only in those days they were not called blacks in that culture. 
• I also "hated" homosexuals (they weren't called "gay's" then...they were queers).  That, too, was a culture of the time, a mind-set.  Sadly that culture, as applied to me, was fortified by several experiences when I was but a young child whereby a man did some sexual things to me and another couple of instances where other men tried.  I was naive and trusting as most children who are taken advantage of are.

My "hatred" for those people within our society who fell into the above two categories carried with me long into my adult life, and greatly stood in the way of my accepting people as human beings.  It took me a long time to appreciate that ethnics are people just like you and I.  It took me a long time to learn to hate the sin and love the sinner.  I had to let go of a lot of both ingrained and developed generalizations and assumptions.

Picture a monkey bar set.  Then put a label on each rung.  One might be your past mistakes.  One my be current sin.  One, as in my case, might be hate. And so on.   Now picture yourself playing on that very same monkey bar set.  You have made the swing to the first bar.  In order to get to the next, you have to let go of the first.  Starting to see something here?

 

Before any of us can have a chance of moving on to be the men, husbands, and fathers God wants us to be, we have to let go of those things, assumptions, sins, prejudices, etc. that will keep us on the monkey bars.  He really doesn't want us monkeying around with our lives.

 

How is your monkey bar set?

Put it back where it belongs

One of the family catch phrases I often heard growing up was "put it back where it belongs".  Not to be outdone, I can't begin to guess how many times we uttered that same catch phrase when we were raising our seven kids.  And I would bet that if walls had ears, they would hear the same thing in the homes of those now seven families.  My guess would be that those words are spoken in your house as well.  Whenever we say those words, we are referring to things.  Could be toys, books, tools, just about anything. 

"Put it back where it belongs" has a huge application in the daily life of every man, husband, and father....one that transcends the home.  It applies to each of us in a very personal and meaningful way.  It applies to our "stuff"-- the trash, the dregs, the failures, and the mistakes of our past.  Those are the things that we often massage and hold on to as a means of reminding ourselves that we are not good or right.  Those are the things that drag us down in our thoughts of ourselves, and thus interfere in allowing us to be all that we can be.

Do you get it?  We can never change our past.  It is what it is.   So when those thoughts of your past "junk" wiggles its way into your present, forgive yourself for whatever it is and put it back where it belongs..in the junk room of the past.  I have found that the more it is put there, the longer it stays there each time.  And what happens as a result?  A new future is being built.

So, why not put it where it belongs?



Dream-Hope-Plan-Goal

Our lives are full of dreams, hope, plans, and sometimes goals.  Mine was no different.  Throughout the years I had plenty of dreams, hopes, and plans...and many of them just went down the tubes.  They vanished, and were unfulfilled.  That's how it goes in real life.  I didn't have very many goals at all.  Many folks don't.  Goals require more work, and a stronger mindset to reach them. 

Dreams and hope are almost synonymous in that they are basically but mental exercises.  We dream about things and hope they will come about.  We don't put a lot of work into our dreams because often there is an inner sense that tells us a dream is but a pleasant thought about an outcome and we already know that life can deal with us in such a way that it would never be reached.  Hope, like dreams, is likewise a mental "feel good" manipulation we do on ourselves.  Both focus on results we would like to see, but with the tacit implication that we might never see them come to fruition.

Plans are what we make to act as a road map for what we do.  We apply a plan to a dream or hope in order to engineer the result of that dream or hope into reality, but it is not uncommon for the plan to become derailed by unforeseen circumstances. And, face it, some dreams and hopes are just out of our wheelhouse.

How does all of this apply to everyday life?  Below are a couple of examples from my own life experience:

• as a young man I had dreams and hopes of raising the all American family
• that went awry because I was more important to myself than those around me and purposely leading a life that was far from that which God had intended me to
• I had dreams and hopes of becoming financially secure and being able to retire with a strong sense of security
• that went awry for the same reasons stated above
• I pursued the dream, and therefore hoped, that I would become a commercial pilot.
• that went awry when, because of my eyes, I would be forever unable to pass the FAA medical process for any license.

Some of you might say that had I made it my goal (instead of just dreaming about it) to raise the all American family, and another goal to be financially secure at retirement, those dreams might have been fulfilled.  That is a possibility.  But, goals take a lot of work.  They have to be planned, and then we have to work at that plan and follow that plan.  As you can see from the above examples, the very reasons those dreams and hopes went awry were the same reasons that would have prevented any plans from being developed and implemented.  At the time, I simply wasn't wired to make plans and stick to them...something that affects many of us.

Through the passage of time, and a difficult learning curve, I have come to the conclusion that there is really only one goal I need to plan for.  That's right....one.  My goal is to reach heaven now that all of my dark days are hopefully behind me (and they will be if I continue to work the plan to reach my goal).  And the goal is obtainable because the plan is simple.  The plan is to continue to get to know Christ.  Bottom line, isn't that the only real goal we should all have?

Life is a learning experience I believe.  We can all learn from our mistakes, our missed dreams and hopes, and our blown plans and goals.  And through that learning process we can all learn about the one goal that really matters to us, heaven, and put the plan in process to get there.

The butler did it

In some of the old time whodunit movies, it wasn't uncommon to hear the phrase "the butler did it".   We heard this phrase in some of the old Sherlock Holmes flicks.  It wasn't as if the butler would have had time to do the dirty deed (usually a suspicious death) given the nature of their duties for the Colonel and his family....but it made for an interesting story line.

What are butlers?  They are primarily servants.  Dressed up, polished, the cream of the crop (so to speak), but in a word....servants.  Their purpose is to serve at the will of their master, attending to his every need and want.  He makes life for his employer comfortable and cushy.  And a good butler always does it with class.

I don't think it is a stretch to say that we are all butlers.  We are called to serve at the will of our master...God.  We are, in fact, born with that call.  The trouble is, many folks choose not to answer that call, or are unaware of that calling.  Those who are christian men, husbands, and fathers generally know that they are called to lives of service.  Some folks live their lives in full time service.  Most, however, are ordinary everyday folks like you and I who serve in one or more ways... in addition to doing the business of daily life.  What are some of the ways in which ordinary guys who may think they don't have a specific talent or ability can serve?

• as a volunteer on one of the teams at church...traffic team, greeter team,  set up/take down team for worship services, the cleaning team, the maintenance team
• as a story teller for the kids ministry....haven't you read bed time stories to your kids?
• as a family, give a period of time during the weekend to take food to the local homeless camp (they are out there, in almost every town).
• find and "adopt" some elderly couple or widow/widower and mow their yard (and/or shovel their driveway when it snows) on a regular basis...for free.
• take that same couple or person a fully prepared nourishing mean once in a while.

What's to stop you from jumping out of your comfort zone to be a servant?  God made us servants because He knows what serving will do for our hearts.  And His son, Jesus, was the ultimate servant, intentionally so, in order that we might learn from His example.

What's to stop you from becoming a modern day butler?  What holds you back from serving? Wouldn't it be neat if, at your celebration of life--that public service when you pass on, all present could he joyously exclaim..."the butler did it"? 

Is the box empty or full?

WYSIWYG.  As this post is being produced in real time, it is WYSIWYG that allows the author to be able to "see" what the finished product will look like when printed out.  The acronym stands for "what you see is what you get".  If the article is being typed out with punctuation errors and misspelled words, it will appear with those same errors to those who ultimately read it or print it out.  In other words, the document is only as perfect as the person on the keyboard makes it be.

Marriage is a lot like WYSIWYG in many ways.  For certain, it is a what you see is what you get deal.  But there is more to it.  Much more.  Marriage is like a box....it can be empty, partially full, or full.  It all depends on what you put into it.  The more you put into it, the more you can expect to take from the marriage.  If you put nothing in, you can rest assured you will get little or nothing back in return.  Divorces rarely come from full boxes.  Here is what I mean by the marriage box:

 

If I am to be a better man, husband, and father, is it not incumbent upon me to keep filling the box?  Is your box full, empty, or somewhere in between?



Is anyone home?

The last 24 hours was the kind of time period that should test any breathing man, husband and father to the limits.  Here is how the last 24 hours went:

• the wife had left 2 days before for a week in Arizona.  I was alone at home with the dog.
• the dog decided it was time to get sick...up-chucked anything he ate.  Vets bill-- $445.00.
• watching some TV in the evening, I noticed the house getting cold.  The heater had decided to stop working.  I couldn't get the repairman out until this afternoon, so with 24 degrees outside the house was a steady 54 degrees inside.  Repairman's bill--$114.00.
• accidently sat on my glasses when changing for bed last night.  Replacement cost--est $400.00.
• wax ring under the main floor toilet decided it was time to leak, rendering a soaked carpet.  Estimated plumbers cost to repair (I am medically unable)--$150.00 +/-.

I am NOT proud of myself by how I reacted to this pile on of mishaps and misfortunes.  Not proud at all.  Rather, I am surprised....thoroughly surprised.  I was calm.  No anger, no "explosions" (I have a history, not of temper tantrums, but of temper explosions).  I was just plain calm.  And, therefore, I was amazed at my reaction.  My reaction was one that strongly reminded me once again that with God's presence within me, I need not stoop to anger, confusion, or fear.

No, God cannot take the place of a wife who is away, nor can He heal the sick dog.  And as far as I know he is not into appliance repairs, nor optometry or plumbing.  What He is into is always reminding all of us of His presence.  We are never home alone.  God is always at home in our hearts....we only have to ask Him to be there.

With God at home, where He so wants to be, we do not have to fear, be confused, or be angry about things over which we have no control.  When He is at home we can lean on Him for the strength we need to NOT get angry, confused, or full of fear....and in doing so we will find solutions for all of our difficulties. 

Is God at home in your heart?



Can you hear me now?

For several years Verizon had an ad campaign that eventually I found annoying.  It was about the range of service for their cell phones, and the catch words for the ad were "can you hear me now"?  It was about people being able to connect without dropped calls.

During my childhood it could have very easily been my mom uttering those word...can you hear me now?  I had developed a keen sense of selective hearing as a child.   And when we were raising our own kids I know I used those words plenty of times.  It often seemed as if they too had bad cases of selective hearing.

As we walk down that long narrow road of life, do we not sometimes wonder if God might also have a case of selective hearing?  I mean, after all, we get so fixated on our own agendas, that when things don't quite go as we had hoped for and planned (or thought they should), doesn't it sometimes seem easy to just blame God..."He wasn't listening to my prayers". 

 

The truth is, God doesn't have selective hearing at all.  We do.  By my own experience, I think we as men, husbands, and fathers tend to get so wrapped up in whatever it is we might be praying about that we expect immediate answers from God...just like our parents did of us and we of our kids.

 

Prayer is about talking with God, sharing with God, and then waiting and being available for His response.  It will never work to ask God "can you hear me now."  It is He who is asking us that same question....time and time again.

 

Can you hear me now?



A huge message in 4 simple words

After leading a very, very broken and sinful life for several decades, something happened to me that blew me away.  I was at my chiropractor's for a treatment one evening and with absolutely no knowledge of his personal life I asked him if he went to church.  This, out of the mouth of one who had darkened any church's door only to go to funerals or weddings.  He said "yes we do, and we will be going tomorrow evening to the church right up the street for a midweek service".  Then the complete shocker came out of my mouth...."can I go with you".  Tom mentioned that the midweek services consisted of a lot of praise and worship, and that the messages were hard hitting....that he just wanted to let me know.  Tom knew very little about my life, and my guess was that he simply wanted to warn me that I would be going to a heavy-duty service.

I went with Tom that very next evening, a Wednesday evening.  At the service I felt very out of place, as if I didn't belong there (I was absolutely certain that my long and industrious life of sin made me stick out like a sore thumb).  Then, during the message, a huge and life altering comment was made...one which I was sure was spoken directly to my by the pastor giving the message.  And as if to cement that thought, he repeated it passionately several times during his message.  It was four simple words:  "You matter to God".  I was reduced to body shaking and uncontrollable sobs.  Never in my life had any four words cut to the core of me like those four words.

Since those words were spoken to me that night almost 28 years ago, I have found myself leaning on those words (or sometimes they have leaned on me!!) many times.  I have stumbled and fallen many times over in that period.  And just about that time when I felt I was down for the count the words have never failed to surface in my mind and heart to remind me that I matter to God....no matter what.

If you are like me this buisness of doing daily life is not always pretty, is not always how we like it, is not always nice, is not easy and often leaves us with questions.  As men, husbands, and fathers we sometimes feel insignificant and lacking.  Sometimes we begin to doubt where we stand.

There is one thing you will never have to doubt.  Never, ever.  Allow your heart to absorb and embrace one thing if nothing else.....YOU MATTER TO GOD. and you always will, no matter what you do or where you are at in your life.

 

What's your problem?

Did you ever have someone give you "that look" and ask you "What's your problem"?  In my experience, many times when I have heard that question, it was asked out of a sense of animosity to one degree or another.  I can remember instances when I did something that someone took exception to and their response was "what's your problem" and it was not asked in a kind manner.  It was an expression akin to "you're pushing your limits or luck here buddy".  Basically it was a warning...."hey you, you are starting to get on my nerves and my fuse is short today" or something similar.

Now let's switch gears here just a bit.  Sticking with the issue of "problems" we all have them.  When was the last time you didn't have a problem of some sort, large or small, do-able or pressing?  We all get problems from time to time.  It is part of life.  It is part of being human.  Sometimes I think they are like flu bugs...I get them from the air I breathe.

What we do with the problems we create ourselves or acquire is pretty much determined by the choices we make based on the kind of lifestyle we live.  As men who are trying to be better men, husbands, and fathers, it helps to first trust God with our problems through prayer and sharing.  Believe me....God is NOT going to fix any of your problems.  He has certainly never fixed any of mine.  But what God does, if we allow it and are tuned in, is gives us guidance to do the next right thing...whatever that is, regardless of whether we like it or not.  If we listen, He will speak to us about our problems. 

In face, in keeping with the relationship he seeks from all of us, he wants our problems.  He wants us to share them, to turn them over to Him.  Why?  So we can listen, learn, and act in the manner He would have us.





Wouldn't it be great if each morning that was our first thought?  Wouldn't it be greater if you would let that be your first thought each morning?  So, I have to ask....what's your problem?  What's stopping you?

Is your house haunted?

My brain houses my thoughts.  My heart houses my feelings and emotions.  At least, in a simplistic way, that is how I look at it.  I lived a good portion of my life living in a haunted house..I was in the "dark".  Life, for me, was like living in a haunted house:

• my past haunted me
• things I was doing or thinking in the present haunted me

Living in a haunted house is not all that different than hanging a hundred pound anchor from your neck and trying to live a normal life with it there.  That sounds pretty radical, I know.  But don't you agree that the more we dwell on things past that were not right, healthy, and "normal", and the more we continue to beat ourselves up for present day thinking and doing, the heavier our burden seems to be?

There are a few ways to eliminate the self induced pressure  of allowing a past to haunt us...and we need to do these if we are going to grow spiritually, grow emotionaly, and grow up period.

• allow God to forgive us....He will, for sure....but we have to make the conscious choice to ask Him to and then allow Him to
• allow ourselves to forgive ourselves.  While it doesn't sound all that easy, it really is if we first allow God to forgive us.....once he has (and again, remember, He will) is there really any sense in NOT forgiving ourselves?
• MOVE ON in the knowledge that we have been given grace by any measurable understanding...just accept it and move on
• know that you may have failures, bad times, dark times, and that you will make mistakes.  Know also that God does not keep a scorecard.  He gives us more do-overs than you will ever know...BECAUSE HE LOVES US SO.

The past is the past is the past is the past.....leave it there and you will not be living in a haunted house.

Can you Imagine?

This is one post in which music says it so much better than I could ever write.  This song means so very much to me because it wasn't all that long ago where I couldn't have imagined....I was on the dark side.  I first heard this one not too awful long after I came back to Jesus, and it fully reinforced me in knowing that I was now leading the kind of life God has intended me to. 

Can you imagine?  Are you at the point in  your life where it excites you wondering what it will be like at the end of your time here, when you meet Jesus face to face?  If you are not at that point, what is stopping you?  What is holding you back?

Read the lyrics below as you listen:

 

MERCYME

I Can Only Imagine Lyrics

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By Your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face
Is before me

I can only imagine yeah
I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I
fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine yeah
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the sun

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You

I can only imagine yeah
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
[From: http://www.elyrics.net ]
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I
fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine yeah
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I
fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine
yeah
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever,
forever worship you

I can only imagine
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The wolves within us

I have always had a love affair with Indians....natural American Indians.  The Indian culture has always been interesting to me.  One of the reasons is that they involve so much that is nature with their sense of living and spirituality, and often it is pretty profound.  For example:

 

Don't you think the wise old Cherokee had it down right?  Don't you just love his comparisons of the two wolves within...Evil and Good? 

 

I have proven to myself many times that either wolf within me can win.  In my time I have fed the Evil wolf enough so that he should go to Weight Watchers.  And the result showed in my daily life.  And I have also discovered that I can choose not to feed him, and instead feed the Good wolf and I have been amazed at how much feeding that wolf has changed my life. 

 

One thing is for sure.  Neither wolf will die by not being fed.  They will always be within us.  But whichever one we choose to feed will flourish.

 

Which wolf are you feeding?

 



Birds of a feather

Do you like other people?  That is a rhetorical question in that almost everybody likes other people.  They like having friends, family, acquaintances, companions, etc.  Sure, there are those, because of one circumstance or another (or choice) who are hermit in nature, and really don't like others around.  But I'm talking us here....us regular guys, the men, husbands, and fathers of the world...the everyday Joe's.

We are accumstomed to being around people.  They are a part of our general comfort zone.  It is almost as if we need people around us because it is a natural part of our being...we are people, and therefore we like other people around.

Now it gets just a bit sticky.  What type of people do you like around you?  Here are some of my least favorite kind...the ones I prefer not to be around:

• openly evil people....blatently foul, evil, narcissistic people
• chronic liars....the kind that know, and know that I know
• chronic "downers"....people so self absorbed in their down-ness that they absolutely refuse to see any upside at all, regardless of how much positive reinforcement is shared with them

Here are some of the types of folks I really enjoy being around:

• candid, honest, and sincere folks
• folks with a sense of humor who can laugh at themselves
• godly people for sure, most especially very humble ones who acknowledge their brokeness

It is said that birds of a feather, flock together.  In some ways, we are like birds....because we tend to "flock" with like kind.  Like kind represents a comfort zone for us.  More on that in a minute.  You and I are drawn to folks similar to us in nature, just as they are drawn to us, true?  Thus if we struggle with friendships and acquaintances that may be not the healthiest for us (I have been there) perhaps we need to focus on US.  This might help:

 



Some of you may be thinking that this sounds elitist and exclusionary.  Bear with me for just a minute.  If you are not the kind of person you want to meet (and therefore be around) then you won't be the kind that others want to meet and be around.  And that means that your job as a witness for all that God has done for you will be unecessarily tainted, and most likely somewhat unproductive.  I'm suggesting that if you are in your comfort zone....you are the kind of person you want to meet....then you will also be very able and willing to step out of that comfort zone to do what God has led you to do....go fishing (fishers of men).

Eight Groaks

I bet when you looked at the title you went..."HUH????"  I had an uncle who was somewhat of a wordsmith.  He appreciated wordage, and particularly funny wordage.  He had some favorites and one he liked to use was a play on words from an old saying.  It went like this:  "eight groaks from little growcorns ache."  The version he so enjoyed came from a saying that has been around for a long time..."great oaks from little acorns grow."

I enjoy the looks of a majestic oak tree.  To me, they are simply beautiful.  Whether leafless in winter with snow all around, or fully leaved out in the wonderful spring greenery, they are just beautiful.  And each one, no matter how big, how nice, or how misshapen or ugly (there are some) come from one little acorn.

Speaking of trees, there is another adage that has been around for quite a while:  "as the twig is bent, so shall the tree grow".  Getting confused yet?  Not sure where this is going?  That's fair.  So, since the blog is about being better men, husbands, and fathers, let's be a little bit creative here:

• you are a mature oak tree
• you produce acorns...seeds
• from those acorns (seeds) come children

Getting the picture?  Your children can grow to be great.....or not.  Like it or not, that is up to you as a parent.  Remember "as the twig is bent, so shall the tree grow"?  Your kids will emulate you more than you can ever realize.  And more than any of us ever realize...especially when they are small and we are looking in wonderment at their amazing individuality.  Don't be fooled....we parents play a huge, huge role in how they grow up, and often that role is passive in nature....they are always looking at us and observing us.

 

So that begs the question, yes? Are your kids going to be "eight groaks" or "not so eight groaks"?  We all need to understand that the answer lies entirely within ourselves, and how we grow them.





Go clean your room

Probably one of the most common parental admonishments of all time is the dreaded "go clean your room."  This one is passed on from generation to generation and it usually becomes at least a weekly "order" to kids even of an early age.

The rationale behind "go clean your room" varies from family to family:

• there are the neat freak parents who just can't stand kids having messy bedrooms
• there are the control freak parents who can use this command to lord over their kids
• there are actually parents who use this admonishment to try to instill responsibility in their kids
• and, there are parents who know that throughout life one is always responsible for his own stuff and self, and they know the importance of raising their children with that knowledge.

As we get older, folks normally automatically take care of not only their rooms, but their whole houses.  Keeping one's house neat and clean is something most folks strive for.  Admittedly, one mans neat and clean may not necessarily jive with another mans neat and clean, which explains the interest in one of those reality shows "Hoarders".

Aside from our houses, it is far more important to do a bit of housecleaning in the room that really matters the most....our hearts.  In that context, if I have a messy room, I have a messy life.  And if I have a messy life, then chances are those I come in contact with as a man, a husband and as a father, are not seeing or knowing what God fully intended me to be.  They are seeing dirt and clutter.  It can only be masked so much.  Dust bunnies of the heart are way more visible than the dust bunnies in my kids room.

As a grown up, I need to be reminded once in a while to "go clean my room."  Those reminders usually come through some verse from the bible, something said by my pastor during his message,  or perhaps from a friend who takes the time and the risk to tell me he is seeing something that is just a bit off base in me 

How is your room?  Do you need to go clean your room?

Does God really see everything?

Does God really see everything?  Is that a silly question?  I am guessing that almost everyone would say something like "of course, He sees everything...He is God after all."  It's pretty much what we have been taught since our early days.

I remember quite well a period of time in my life when I was profoundly on the dark side of life.  I was a husband and a father at the time.  It was an ugly and extended period of time in my life.  I was functional, I provided, and in a way I "loved", but in essence, I was but a shell of a man....and didn't know it.  I embraced sin, lived a sinful life, and rejected anything about God.

Along the way in mid life, the hammer came down.  God worked through some special people and ultimately I came around, and at this stage of my life am living a Christ centered life.  Through that period of change, I had a really hard time understanding grace and forgiveness.  One of the simple messages that helped me in growing a fuller understanding of those was this:

 

I submit therefore, that no, God does not see everything.  Sure, that is perhaps a play on words, but you get what I mean.

 

I have, since coming over from the dark side, been amazed at how much better I feel about myself as a husband, a father, and a man.  And everyone I have talked to has said the same thing.  Life is not necessarily better, but it is excitingly free-er and less complicated.

 

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with life and spirituality, you might just want to keep the above three things in mind....because they speak boldly about a God who doesn't always see, but always does.



The difference between men & boys

An old adage that has been around for a while goes like this...the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys. I'm sure you might hear that comment around, say for instance Burnham Harbor in Chicago were some of the more elite yachts are kept during boating months on Lake Michigan.  I can picture some uber wealthy fellow sitting on his 35 foot yacht, wine in hand, looking over the guy pulling out of the harbor in his 24 footer saying just that.  Classic one-upmanship.

Needless to say, and hopefully the man knows it, he won't be able to take his 35 foot yacht with him if he goes to heaven.  I've surmised that there are no storage facilities there. 

When it comes to real life, where it really matters, where the stakes are high, where the prize is heaven, where the goal which allows us to reach that prize is to know Christ, there is a huge difference between the men and the boys.  I'm talking about adult boys here....grown up men who are but boys.  Sad to say, but they are around.  Check this out:

 

When we're talking about being better husbands, fathers, and men....that is what we are talking about...that of a Christ centered life which by itself separates the men from the boys.

 

Have you grown up yet?







Everyone's a runner

There was an article in the newspaper this past weekend that chronicled one man's passion.  He was a 55 year old man who has spent over $300,000 over a period of years running full marathons.  While that in itself is pretty mind boggling, what is even more so is the fact that he has run a full marathon in each of the 50 states and the Capital.  That is a lot of running by any one's measure...especially since he wasn't just showing up to run, he ran them all in under 4 hours.....quite an accomplishment.

We are all runners, though, are we not?  Each and every one of us.  All of us make one run....a run at life.  Our course is a bit different than that of the marathon runners.  Ours is much more difficult
course as we run our narrow road from birth to death.  While the marathon runner is concerned about crowd size (and therefore obstructions), it really is pretty much a straight shot on level ground from one end to the other of the 26.2 mile course. 

Our runs last a life time, and we are exposed to many obstacles, some of which we never see coming, and many of which we have had little or no experience in handling.  When we meet those obstacles, as men, fathers, and husbands we are taught to rely on faith, friendship, and the Word to get us through those them to overcome them.

The prize for the marathon runner discussed above is a medal and a piece of paper stating his accomplishment.  And, I'm sure there is a lot of personal satisfaction involved.  The prize for the marathon we all run, the one from birth to death, is heaven.  Our goal during our run is to get to know Christ, and when we reach that goal, our prize is assured.  Our run isn't any set distance.  None of us know when our marathon will end...we only know that it will, and that it could be tomorrow.

It behooves each man striving to be a better man, father, and husband, to maintain a constant training schedule during our run simply because there is no greater prize awaiting at the end of any marathon than that of the marathon of life...heaven.

I want it, I need it, I gotta have it

Marketing sure is built around human nature.  Those who are the marketing gurus know that folks like me often tend to think in terms of:

1. I want it...
2. I need it...
3. I gotta have it...

Advertising is geared toward feeding that kind of thinking is it not?  Frankly, I fail to see how the really "stupid" ads accomplish that, but there may be some kind of science behind that as well.  At any rate the thrust of advertising is far from just informing us of information about products, etc.  It is more about feeding that sense of "I want it" in each of us and mega millions are spent doing just that.

Think about this for a minute.  We are all, at one time or another, guilty of spontaneous "getting" or buying.  And often that impulsive act is set off by some vision we have of ourselves that is far from the real me or you.  As we decide that we want it, need it, or gotta have it (whatever "it" is), we start to justify getting it, and rationalizing any ill effects obtaining it may have on us (financial, etc). 

I learned (the hard way) a long time ago that I am not a good "getter".  I am impulsive and do spontaneous stupid things far more often than I would like...especially when it comes to buying that next great brain wave I just had.  D-a-n-g-e-r-o-u-s ! 

A good friend once knew of me putting myself in a financial box by stupid spending "because I wanted it" and offered some wise advice.  I must have been somewhat lucid at the time, because it stuck, and has proven to be a financial life saver.  It was simple advice: 

"Don't cut yourself completely off.  Set a bottom limit, say $50.00.  If you find you are getting all sweaty about wanting or needing something that is over that limit, convince yourself that you can wait until tomorrow to buy it.  Then wait until tomorrow, and while doing so really think about how much of a priority whatever it is you want to buy might be....how it fits into the grand scheme of things."

Now I do that all the time, and in addition to thinking about it, I pray about it and I know that in this life there is really only one thing that I need...the quiet that comes from closeness with Christ.  All the stuff in the world can't replace that.



We are all gardners

Whether or not you have a green thumb, you are a gardener.  Whether or not you like gardening, you are a gardener.  You are a gardener irregardless of any argument you could offer to oppose that statement. You ARE a gardener.

• your garden plot lies within the hearts and minds of those around you....family, friends, co-workers, strangers
• your seeds are your words, actions, and deeds those folks hear and see
• your gardening tools are your example, the word, and your commitment to the lord
• your fertilizer is your passion, love for others and gentleness

You see, Johnny Appleseed, we are all, as believers, disciples.  Christ started out with the 12 we all know about, but if you look at His "Plan A" it was a plan of exponential discipleship.  Disciples, starting with the 12, make disciples, make disciples, make disciples and on and on.  By the way, there was no "Plan B". 

If you look at the original 12 that Jesus chose to be disciples, you will note that they were common men, and in some cases some rather jaded individuals to begin with.  Just ordinary guys.  Like you and I.   No degrees in theology.  No lofty positions within the church.  Just everyday ordinary working stiffs.....who happen to love Christ.

The original 12 disciples were the original gardeners.  They came to believe.  Then they grew.  Then they planted the seed, and helped others grow.  Then they nurtured those others, and fertilized them, and finally they let them go...to start the process all over again.

Like the original 12, you may be nothing special in life, but you are still a gardener.  What can possibly be sweeter than planting the seed in our children, nourishing that seed, watching them grow in Christ, and then letting them go later in life knowing that they are well grounded and probably better equipped to deal with life as it really is? 

A better husband, father, and man will be a gardener first.  How about you?

Are you pushing a wheelbarrow?

Baggage.  When this blog first came about, there was an article about the baggage we carry around with us all of the time.  It's pretty much a fact that we all carry some baggage.  I know, that in my brokeness, I carry a lot more baggage than I would like to.  Fortunately, most christian men I know have a really good idea how to deal with the baggage they carry to make life, both for themselves and their families, much more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Now I will switch gears here for just a minute.  I got a phone call from a buddy the other day.  He was off on a trip, and at the time was out in Provo, Utah.  It was morning, and he was just sitting outside of the motel enjoying a cup of coffee, the sunrise, and the quiet of the early hour....or so he told me.  Not long into the conversation, however, it became quite clear that he was really agitated about something, and it didn't take long before he started to relate how extremely angry he was over some things that had happened to his brother, by someone else, at a point in time many, many years before.  After listening to him it was quite clear that none of what he was so very angry about had anything to do with him personally.

I let Richard vent and carry on for a while as I listened to him start to think through some of the strategy he might follow to make the un-rightable matter right.  Finally I suggested to him that he needed a wheelbarrow.  When he took a breather and asked what I was talking about I offered the following to him (paraphrased):

We all carry our own baggage.  It is a blend of mistakes we haven't forgiven ourselves for, regrets of things done or not done, scars from things that happened to us over which we had no control....all of those things that impact how and who we are at any given time.  But the baggage is our own stuff.  We are ill equipped to carry the baggage of others, over which we have no control at all.  It simply weighs us down to a critical point.  Yes, we need to feel a sense of empathy for those others, and yes, we are called to be encouragers and helpers, but we are not called upon to carry their baggage for them.  To carry our own baggage and theirs would cause us to need a wheelbarrow.

To grow as an effective man, husband, and father, we need to know that we have our own baggage and then we need to know how to grow through it.  What we don't need is to push a wheelbarrow filled with the baggage of others at the same time.

I will never.....

I heard some interesting dialogue on K-LOVE the other day that made me think.  The announcers were talking about how many times they had said "I will never...." when either thinking of their families to be  or their families of the then and now.  One of the "I will never's" was "I will never let my kid throw a temper tantrum in a restaurant".   There were a bunch of "I will never's" thrown out there and the consensus seemed to be that "I will nevers" fall right in the bullseye of wishful thinking.

How true!  I'm willing to bet just about all of the "I will never" pronoucements I have ever made ended up as "oh wells".  And the important part of that statement is that not all of those pronouncements were made about my kids.  Many were made about me:

• I will never raise my voice or yell at my wife
• I will never swear in front of my kids
• I will never be like some of the husbands I know
• I will never be like some of the fathers I know
• I will never be like some of the men I know
• etc

I learned quite a bit back that there is wisdom in never saying never....particularly as it relates to people, and specifically as it relates to me.  Why?  Because I, and everyone I know, am flawed.  I have a brokeness about me.  And because of that brokeness, I simply cannot rely on myself to be able to keep promises such as "I will never".  You see, I am human....just as we all are, and somehow most "I am never's" are bigger than we are.  They are feel good ideals that incorrectly massage our sense of worth.  At least that is how it is for me.  Does that mean I am weak?  I don't think so nor does it mean that your are weak.  I think it simply points out the humaness about us.

"I will nevers" are almost always about behavior.  And we all know how unpredictable and uncontrollable behavior can be and often is.  What protects me from my self, and thus helps keep my behavior in check the most effective way is a pattern of things which include:

• regularly attending church
• regularly participating in a small group or community group
• regularly getting into the word
• regularly conversing with God in prayer
• regularly serving others

As long as I stay committed to doing those 5 things, I really never have to say never.  If I am doing those 5 things, everything about me is in God's hands.  I just need to listen for His leadings and follow them.  Not always easy, but for sure always a sure bet.

I just don't think that "I will nevers" are very practical for men, husbands and fathers.  Eh?

Stairway to Heaven

1971...Led Zeppelin.  Remember...Stairway to Heaven?  "There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold, and she's buying a stairway to heaven".

In the real world we are captive to, we obviously know that all that glitters is not gold, and while there are those who think otherwise, we certainly can't buy our way into Heaven.  There are plenty of biblical references that tell us outright that good deeds and works alone will not get us there.

What does get us there is a goal that each of us should have in mind as we go about our daily business:  "I want to know Christ."  A 5 word goal....simple as that.  Yes, many do think that Heaven itself is our goal.  My pastor put that one to rest last week when he shared that Heaven is the prize and the goal is those 5 words.  If we reach our goal, then we absolutely get the prize.  That too is talked about in our Bibles.

If you want to talk about a stairway to heaven, then it would follow that the stairway is at the end of that long narrow road we all tread, that thing called life's journey.  And that being the case, we will necessarily come across many things and situations that may make us stumble, fall, wonder, and question.  Through it all, however, is one constant....the need to have faith to get us through those times.  Martin Luther King said it well:

 

There will be many times throughout our lives when we as men, husbands, and fathers cannot see or visualize the whole staircase.  That is because we are human.  But just as God gave us the ability to choose and make choices, He also gave us the ability to have faith....if we want to. 

 

So I submit that next time a trip, stumble, or fall occurs on your walk of life, that you grasp faith and grab on to it hard.....even if you can't quite see that staircase to Heaven.  It's there.  He promised.



God's Top 10 Things About God

I'm guessing that there are very few folks in the country who don't know about Letterman's Top 10 lists.  They are usually funny, quite pointed, sometimes sarcastic, and always well delivered as only Letterman can do it.  We hear them, we laugh at them, and then we forget them.

God has His own Top 10 list for us.  As we face the ruts, hills, and valleys of our everyday walk down our road of life, if we keep this Top 10 in our minds, we are assured of a successful trip:

 

 



All it takes is faith on our part as men, husbands and fathers to believe Him.  Somehow the very simplicity of that list lends itself to that faith.  And, unlike Letterman's Top 10's, a whole lot easier to remember. 

What say you?

Prayer

Do you want to be truthful about it?  Sometimes praying is hard isn't it?  Sometimes I felt guilty because I "thought" I wasn't praying "right" or praying "enough" or that my prayers were "just me going through the motions".  Do you sometimes think those thoughts?

Then there are those times when I'll be in a group situation and someone prays (in my mind they often volunteer to do so) and by the time they end you are absolutely certain that they successfully made it through Theology 404 and then completed grad school, and then got into public speaking.  Me, I call it Show Praying....they really put on a show.

I may be wrong, but if you are like me, the folks I hang out with are just everyday normal broken working stiffs.  They have a lot on their plate just doing life, and they are not Christian zealots.  This is not to say that their beliefs and faith are not strong.  Far from it.  I am only implying that they are just average joe's going down the long narrow dirt road of life just like most of us.

I was once told (and it's one of the things that stuck) that prayer is a conversation with God.  And since I converse with my circle of friends in a very realistic and human way, I have chosen to converse with God (pray) in a similar method.  He knows me like a book....and he knows how I talk every day.  So, why should I sugar coat it and talk with Him in any different manner?

Here's a realistic prayer:

Not only is it realistic, but it is delightfully simplistic, and gut level honest.  I have no problem at all praying in a similar fashion when I converse with God.  Some might say those prayers aren't pretty, but it doesn't matter.  I'm sure God "gets it" when I pray.  He may even chuckle a bit once in a while.

Might you consider simplicity and reality in your prayer life?  If you have always felt that you have to talk to God in some "special" manner, or one different from how you talk to anyone else, you may just be putting pressure on yourself that needn't be there.  How freeing it is to just talk to God normally.



The Inevitable will happen

A common saying often heard is "there's only 2 things for certain....death and taxes".  Taxes, we all know about, and that's a subject for another forum.  So let's explore death for a moment.  As we get older our views seem to change.  By older I mean we reach that point in time when we realize that lost dreams and hopes are just that..lost, missed opportunities are not recoverable, and generaly we are much more at ease with ourselves.  We know absolutely that death is inevitable as we stare it in the face.

With the younger folks it's a slightly different story.  Yes, they know that death is unavoidable and will occur.  There is, however, often a sense of invincibility about the subject...as in, I've got a long way to go before it gets me.  Been there, done that.

The truth of the matter is one we all know.....it can, and does, come at any time.  That said, what kind of questions are in your mind about that time?  Hopefully, you believe that you will be going to Heaven.  And hopefully, you...as a man, a husband, and a father, have instilled that idea in the minds of your children.  All that's left, with that thought in mind, is to live a life in such a manner that you can follow one single goal (and teach your kids the same)..."I want to know Christ".   If you work on that goal, and reach that goal, you will get the prize....Heaven.  It almost sounds odd doesn't it..."I know I'm going to die, so all I want is the prize (Heaven).

Here's a little story I picked up about a guy that wasn't quite sure:

 





We as Christians know where the Master is, and that He waits. Do the folks within your sphere of influence have that assurance? What can you as a man, a husband and a father do to help them have that assurance? After all, it can happen in the next few moments.

 

Fairy Tales

Fairy tales.....about the only choice of bedtime reading stories we read to our little guys when they are still wee ones, right?  When they are really smallish, that is what we do isn't it?  Let's take a quick look at some of those more popular ones read as bedtime stories.  All are seemingly about glamor, pretty pictures, and happy endings....right?  Well, let's disect a couple:

• Cinderella:  in reality, Cinderella is being held as a prisoner in her own home, and is treated as a slave.  She is subjected to both physical and psychological torment at the hands of her stepmother and stepsisters after the death of her father.  That's real "happy times".
• Hansel & Greta:  they are abducted by a sadistic maniac who keeps them in captivity in the woods.  His plan is to fatten them up and then roast them alive to cannibalize them.  Now that's a real class story for the little guys.
• Little Red Riding Hood:  this girl goes to the forest to visit her grandmother.  What does she find there?  That granny has been savaged and eaten alive by a wild animal.  Cute?  Not by any measure.

In your walk of life, how many times have 1) you considered the Bible to be a book of fairy tales, or 2) heard someone indicate that they thought that way?  True,  the Bible has many, many stories within it that to the unitiated, or taken on their face, might be construed as "fairy tale like" stories.

As men, husband, and fathers it should behoove each of us to read the Bible regularly, and learn the Bible well enough so that we might know with certainty that it is far from a book of fairy tales.  Each story should not be taken in the context of a free standing story, but rather viewed as a part of a whole in order to draw proper conclusions as to what the "big picture" story actually is.  It is at that point that we then begin to understand and appreciate the true meanings of the stories and how they apply to each of us in our daily lives.....and they do apply very poignantly to each of our lives.

Perhaps if each of us, in our quest to become better men, husbands, and fathers, read our little ones meaningful passages from the Bible at bedtime, and then answered their invariable questions just as we tuck them in and kiss them goodnight, we would never have to hear those kids think of the Bible as a book of fairy tales when they grow up.

Eh?

What about the kids?

This particular post is a bit difficult for me.  It brings back regret thoughts in a big way.  But it also has it's redeeming points as well.  By the time you have read it, you will see both.

Back when, when they were still the thing to do, I used to get annoyed whenever I saw one of those yellow caution shaped signs hanging in the back of a car window that said "Baby on Board!".  My annoyance came from the fact that I envisioned the owners/drivers/occupants of those cars to be bragging..."hey look, we have a baby".  That was me...at that time.  My response to the signs was something along the lines of "big deal", or worse yet, "who cares".  Pretty uncaring, yes?

That was almost how I fulfilled my role as a father and a husband...the same sort of uncaring attitude.  Oh, I went through the motions, but I was blind to the fact that kids really can tell the difference between going through the motions and the real deal.  Suffice it to say, I was not a good father by any measurable standards.  I didn't physically abuse them, but I was a lot more interested in what was good for me than what was needed to raise a family in a christian home.  Frankly, I wasn't a christian, but an alcoholic.

Now that the kids (we had 7) are all grown and have families, it is fun and yet sad to ponder it all every once in a while.  It is fun in the sense that none grew up to be criminals, addicts, or dregs of society.  They grew up strong.  In fact, I wrote a song based on that...All I ever did right, was everything wrong.  My kids apparantly learned very well not do and be how I had done and been as a father.  I look at them and their families now and marvel at how their parenting skills are compared to what mine were. 

It is sad to ponder on because only one family is a christian family.  A couple of others are on the fringes.  And the rest are just "out there", doing their thing.  Not bad folks, rather the opposite.  Just not involved with matters spiritual.  As an older man, husband, and father, I still have my work cut out for me, and hopefully through prayer, interaction, and through the work of the Holy Spirit, all of them will eventually come around.

 

How very, very true !  I know, as a man who spent years as a totally broken man, how difficult it was to get near whole again.  And I know how difficult it is to stay whole in this rebuilding process.  The challenges my kids face are challenges that kids should not have to face as they grow through adulthood.

 

As a man, a husband, and a father, are you in a position where you can make changes in you, in how you do things (like parenting) so that you can build strong children?  If only I would have thought once in a while "what about the kids" instead of just me.