Saturday, May 31, 2014

Take a hike !!

Every once in a while in a movie I've heard the term "take a hike" directed at someone.  Maybe some of us have used that term at one point or another...like maybe with an overly aggressive salesman or the like....or at least thought it. In that context it usually means "get away from me" or "leave me alone".  And, in that context it really isn't a very polite way of dealing with the situation is it?

There are a lot of "pesky" situations that come our way that can try our patience, tolerance, and the degree of kindness we are willing at that given time to dole out.  Some of those situations we bring upon ourselves, and others are brought upon us....but our reactions are the same.  Take a hike.  As we walk our walk through this thing we call life, we constantly come in contact with others....many others.  And those others come in varying degrees of brokenness, may have different value sets, may be carrying baggage we cannot fathom, and yes, may never have had any meaningful contact with even a rudimentary Christian life.  At times those others can be very trying in our lives, and at times it may be impossible, just because of circumstances, to not have those people in some part of our lives.  Bosses and co-workers come to mind.  What to do?

J. C. Ryle said something quite appropriate:  "We must give up the vain idea of trying to please everybody.  It is impossible, and the attempt is a mere waste of time.  We must be content to walk in Christ's steps, and let the world say what it likes."

You know, sometimes it is we that need to "take a hike".  And as long as we wear Christ's shoes and walk in His steps while doing so, perhaps we will find that those "others" really aren't all that hard to tolerate, have patience with, and be kind to.  And maybe, just maybe, by us being the one to take that kind of hike, it might be just enough of an example to that "other" that he or she would ask questions that would ultimately lead them to take a real hike.  But that will never happen if you don't "take a hike".

Friday, May 30, 2014

It's a Win-Win

What is a common denominator between the following?
  • negotiations
  • arguments
  • disagreements in relationships
I would say the common denominator comes at the end in each of those situations...how they are resolved.  There are only a few formats for that resolution:
  1. win-lose
  2. lose-lose
  3. stalemate
  4. or win-win.
Obviously, the best resolution for any situation in which there are differences is the win-win.  In a win-win, each side may not come out of it having "gotten" all they want, or made all the points that they wanted, but each side will almost universally be really "OK" with it because of the fairness of that resolution.

In our daily lives we are constantly crossing paths with other people.  Some are great, some are fine, some are OK, and then there are those that, given the chance, you just don't want to be around anymore.  Our marriages and relationships are a lot like that at times.  Sometimes they are great, sometimes they are just fine, other times they are just OK, and then there are times that they are not good at all.

In our interactions with other people, wives, and families the situations that twist our heads up the most are when those relationships are not the healthiest.  Ironically, it is those same situations that provide us with the best opportunity to recognize shortcomings in our own tolerance, patience, kindness, faithfulness, and in our ability to love.  In other words it is not the good times that test our Christ-likeness as much as it is the trying times and people.

Going back to an earlier point....we all tend to thrive with win-win situations.  Since that is so, it means each of us must do our part to make that happen, and for us to think in terms of being Christ-like affords us a huge step up toward making any situation a win-win for everyone involved.

 
If you can look at others in your life as either blessings or lessons, you will have a lot of win-wins in your life....just the way God would have it.  


Let's go dancing

What do you do when there are storms coming....really, really big storms?  My guess would be that we all try to get done what we can get done before it arrives, and then we just kind of hunker down and wait it out until it is over.  That is exactly what we used to do in Florida on those occasions when we got smacked around by hurricanes.  In those days (50's & 60's) the weather prognostigators weren't nearly as clear about conditions, timing, etc. as they are nowadays so we truely had to prepare for the storms in advance because we just didn't know where or when they would actually hit.

We also have stormy seasons all throughout our lives.  I'm not talking about the weather type storms.  I'm talking about other kinds of storms, expected or unexpected....like perhaps...
  • storms like relationships in danger of going south on us
  • financial storms
  • a diminished sense of spiritual contentment, particularly because of sin in our lives
  • devastating illnesses or even the death of those close to us
We can always expect some storms in our lives.  Some we bring on ourselves.  Others just occur.  In the end, none of us is immune to having storms in our lives.  And, if you have experienced any yet, you know they can be.....if we allow them....quite disruptive.  If you haven't experienced any life storms, have you thought about how you might react when one comes your way?

When we know that there is a major weather storm coming, not only do we prepare for it, but we generally know what we will be doing as it surrounds us.  We deal with it.  We try to keep life as normal as we can as we sit it out.  We don't fret and get all bent out of shape.  We recognize it for what it is...a storm...and we know that it will pass.  We also know that while it is surrounding us that it will be testing us, that it could push our limits...but we also know that if we just do the right things, we will get through it.

Life's storms are no different.  They can brutally push us.  They can get into our heads if we let them, and foul up our thinking, thereby causing us to say and do things that are counterproductive to our successfully weathering them.  But know this...life's storms will always pass.  They will end.  So knowing that we will face some of life's storms, isn't it better to prepare to dance through those storms rather than be bulldozed by them?
 
Shall we dance?


Thursday, May 29, 2014

I Want it NOW !!!!

Have you ever noticed the propensity of really little kids to want things "right now"?  It's a part of the territory for those little toddlers, a part of their natural curiosity, and a part of their learning process.  Because of that propensity of wanting it now, they come to learn the words "no" and "not now".  They begin to learn one of the harsh realities of life....we don't always get what we want when we want it.

But wait....if you are like me, the "not now" lessons my parents tried to teach me way back when seemed to have come when I was out on recess.  That said, I aced the course of Instant Gratification 101 with flying colors.  And boy, can that mess me up.  And how many times it actually has !!!!

Instant gratification and the "Monster of More" are partners in crime within us.  Between them, they can cloud our judgement more than we would ever like to admit.  At least that is what happens to me at times.  Case in point...many years ago a friend of mine was going to sell his motor home.  Instantly, faster than the Lone Ranger's bullet, I decided we "needed" it.  And here is where "instant justification" kicked in.  I came up with a slew of reasons why we had to have it and made the deal...before talking it over with the wife.  You can imagine how that conversation went.  It was preceded with a rather terse comment..."I think the ONLY thing you haven't bought or owned is an airplane". 

While that is a case of instant gratification/"monster of more" of grand proportions, it is perhaps the overall accumulation of smaller, almost daily instances that can really hurt us...and hurt our relationships.  A seasoned case of instant gratification erodes our ability and our desire to constantly seek God's will for our lives.  Even a partially seasoned case of instant gratification is synonymous with an I'm in control attitude in our lives.....and it is hard to let go. 

Gut check time:  If you were to take the time, in what ways do you fall prey to....
  • "I want it now!"
  • "I've just got to have that"
  • "I really want that"
I haven't entirely kicked the problem of instant gratification/monster of more.  That's because I'm still broken and still like to think I can control my life all by myself.  But I am better than I ever was because I have adopted a personal policy, one that anyone can use themselves.  Whenever I am feeling like I am buying on impulse, by reaction, without plan, without regard to absolute need, and without speaking about the purchase with the wife first....I walk away and give it 2 or 3 days to think it through and speak with the wife.  The result is that my buying is now pretty much limited to actual needs, by a plan, and with consent.....and I don't get those awful "monster of more" headaches anymore.




Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Where's Attaboy?

Are you getting a bit weary of hearing from all sides and thinking so much of all the stuff you ought to do so that you can be a better man, husband, and father?  We hear it in church, in our groups, certainly in these postings, at home, from good friends....sometimes it just seems as if we are being barraged by "need to's", "shoulds", "ought to's", "have to's", etc, etc.  Most are certainly not of a negative nature at all.  Most are singularly related to improving ourselves.  All are for positive gain in how we do life.

And now.....the but !!  We can hear all of these things, understand them, and acknowledge their need in making positive change within us....but doesn't it seem to set us up in a way?  Perhaps there comes a time in our thinking when we begin to look at ourselves as just a big mess because we keep hearing or reading about the "ought to's".  We begin to doubt if we will ever be all we could be or should be.  It almost seems as if we keep hearing implied negatives and thus we become a bit negative ourselves as we wonder when it will end.

If you are thinking that way, or have thought that way, make today a "break with change" day and instead think selfishly....very selfishly.  Go back in your mind, look at the journey you have been on as you have walked this road of life, and discover each and every positive change you can find.  Yes, you will find them. As long as your heart is beating, you will find them.  Embrace each of those changes, large and small, and give thanks for them.  And then, give yourself a huge "Attaboy" because you deserve it.

We don't always get attaboys from others....especially when we think we deserve them.  Only we know just how hard some of those positive changes were to make, and while others may not share in the delight of those changes, it isn't pride if we ourselves bask in that light of accomplishment.  After all, it is what God would have us do as we strive to become better men, husbands, and fathers.  And when we reach the end of that long, often difficult, narrow road we call life, we will get the most meaningful "Attaboy" ever, when we get to heaven.

In the meantime, don't look for "attaboys".......they may not be there.  But you owe it to yourself to stop, take a breath, reflect, and then give yourself an "attaboy" every once in a while just because you do deserve it.  After all, you are the one who has done the work...not so much for others as for yourself.

And finally, remember that you didn't do it all yourself.....you had help.  God never let you down or forgot you during your time of change.  The changes you have made are pleasing to Him, and have been accomplished because He has given you the nudges and the direction for that change...so whatever you do give Him an "attaboy" as well by thanking Him for never letting you down.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

You can help

No, thank you, I don't need help....nor am I seeking it.  This is truly an appeal about that one or two other men, husbands and fathers you probably know who might benefit from these posts.  It might be someone who is going through difficult times.  It could be a struggling family man.  It may be someone who could just use another little daily shot to help keep his rudder right.  So the challenge is on......

Can you, even while not knowing for sure how it will work out, pass on to a friend, co-worker, associate, fellow church member...actually anyone....the link to this blog if you feel it might be of benefit to them?  After all, our lives as christian men is all about those others who are about to embark on the journey, or are already on it.  Hopefully, this blog is working as a helpful tool of ideas, encouragement, and thought provocation in the lives of others, and if that is the case why not share it?

Thanks.  You never know what impact a little thing like that may have in another mans life.

The best cordless phone ever

Cordless phones can sometimes be a real pain can they not?  They, like TV remotes, have a propensity to get "lost".  Of course they get "lost" because we forget to put them back in their cradle...except I always put it back......or so I tell my wife.  Ahem!  That's what makes me sure that there is a cordless phone thief in the house, just as I am positive there is the sock gremlin in the dryer.

Allowing the cordless phone thief to "lose" the phone is a minor mishap or event.  It may be a situation that requires a quick prayer, maybe not.  It is certainly not as grave a situation as an illness in the family, a disturbing financial crisis, or matters similar in their potential to cause you and the family concern.  During the course of the average day we all run into, create, become aware of, or observe situations where a quick prayer can be a logical and reasonable action.  (By the way, God is B.I.G., and He can handle our prayers....don't not pray because you think you are being pesky).  The thing is, don't we kind of get to the point where we think we may be overdoing this prayer thing?  So then, don't we just kind of not pray until the big stuff comes along, the heavy duty stuff that grabs our hearts?  Or maybe we fall prey (no pun there) to our own laziness (something that really kind of should be prayed about, but doesn't...because we get lazy).

Here's the point:  Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout life".

I'm sure that I don't use my "steering wheel" anywhere near like how the examples have been shown in the owner's manual....The Bible.  Duh...."that directs the right path throughout life"....perhaps that is why I, and perhaps you struggle with being off course just a bit here and then.  You know, God invented the best cordless phone ever.....it's been around for centuries.  This is one that won't get "lost", and we don't have to look beyond ourselves to use it.

And we need to use it anytime....anytime at all!  We can't wear out this cordless phone.


Monday, May 26, 2014

Scouts Honor

Does the term "Be Prepared" mean anything to you?  I think it is safe to say that most would recognize it as one of the motto's of being a Boy Scout.  It was as much a part of being a scout as was the uniform back in the day, and I assume it still is.  At its basic level it meant to serve as a reminder to all scouts the need to be prepared for any eventuallity.  Many lessons of being prepared were learned by scouts on camping trips....in rainy weather....when a campfire was necessary.  Get the picture?

A bit ago I attended a men's group from church for the first time.  I knew a couple of the guys there, but not all of them.  During the early part of the sharing portion of the meeting, one of the guys, a middle aged guy, brought up the subject of being prepared.  He was very, very passionate in his comments of preparing yourselves for any and all eventualities that life could throw our way.  His focus was on using the bible to grow your strength and faith to such a point that when life throws out a curve ball, good or bad, you will be prepared to face it and deal with it.  

Several things struck me during his sharing.  He was really passionate about what he was saying.  He obviously knew, and relied heavily on scripture as evidenced by his periodic reference to scripture.  And he came across to me as a man who had been tested beyond belief during the course of his life, though nothing was mentioned at that time.

I appreciated his comments, and they sank in.  I had always, because of my own family's situation when I was a kid, felt that a strong faith was the glue that kept mom and pop together and always looking forward.  The family experienced almost non-top medical issues from the time I could first remember them until the day they died....and there were plenty of times, as an older lad, when I found myself wondering "why me"?  So when this was brought up at men's group, it hit home.  Mom and dad were prepared....they were prepared spiritually for whatever life threw at them.  And that preparation gave them the faith and strength to weather one storm right after another throughout my childhood years.  I seriously have to wonder if I have faith like that.

Toward the end of the men's group, the gentleman who had so passionately admonished us to be prepared for whatever good or bad we would face in life...broke down.  It was then that I found that his 25 year old daughter had passed away maybe 4 months ago, a daughter who he and his wife had cared for non-stop  the past 18 years in her struggles to overcome cancer.  It was very, very obvious how difficult all of this has been on this gentleman, just as it was equally obvious just how much he was grasping onto his faith to get him through it.  He spoke bravely and openly about his times of doubt, his times of anger, his pain.....and his love of and belief in God.  It was then quite obvious just what he meant by telling us to prepare ourselves constantly for whatever may come our way.

So "Be Prepared" isn't just about scouting.  It is about men like you and me...but on a much more serious scale.  Scouts Honor!

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Faaaassssssstttttttt.....real fast

In the racing world, Memorial day is a really, really fast day.  It is all about speed.....and winning.  There's the renowned Indianapolis 500 going on, followed by Nascar's Coke-Cola 600 down in Charlotte.  And once again this year, there will be one driver doing both races.....1100 miles of very fast (speeds in excess of 200 mph) and tension filled racing.  I've been to both of these races several times and either one is just plain crazy !  I can't imagine the kind of pressure a driver puts on himself to race 500 miles in Indianapolis, get on a jet immediately after the race to get to Charlotte in time to race another 600 miles. 

But not so fast here.  While Memorial Day weekend is traditionally the gateway to summer and it's vacations and the unofficial beginning of a 4 to 5 month span of getting rid of the winter cabin fever,  it's more importantly a weekend of reflection and thanks.  We all live our lives at times a bit faster paced than we might like.  And in doing so, our ability to reflect and offer thanks becomes diminished.  Fast is imperative in a race car, but not so much in our daily lives.

While enjoying your Memorial Day weekend, take some time to think about what Memorial Day is all about.  As you do so, think about the freedoms we have here in this country, and what they mean...and why we have them.  Perhaps you have been in the service.  Surely you must know someone who has served.  Maybe you have known someone who has given his/her life in the service of this country.  Memorial Day is a salute to all of our Military personnel, past and present.  It is because of them that we are still called the land of the free.

In this land of the free we have, we can freely maintain our lives any way we wish, legally.  That includes the one thing that can make us all better men, husbands, and fathers....our spiritual freedom.  So this Memorial Day, slow it down just a bit, and lean on the appreciation we all have for the freedoms we have in this country....and why.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

A Challenge with 5-1 odds

As a man, a husband, and a father, or any combination thereof...including am presently, will be, or was, there are several "givens" about each:
  • it isn't a cake walk when in relationships, family especially
  • there isn't any blueprint to follow to build the "perfect" relationships or family
  • there will be failures
  • changes are not always immediate
  • we mirror the planet Saturn in a way
    • we are cricled by rings,  and God is at the center
    • our family is at the innermost circle
    • friends are the next outermost circle
    • our work life companions and associates are in the next outermost circle
    • everyone else is in the far outermost circle
  • by instinct, the inner circle that is our family has some pretty well defined boundaries, and we protect that circle with all that we are worth
In our role as men, fathers, and husbands there is so much about our daily lives that can detract us from consistently doing 3 things to help us optimize a good, healthy, and happy family life.  Those three things are:
  1. we need to inspire each and every member of our family as regularly as we possibly can
  2. we need to encourage each and every member of our family as regularly as we possibly can
  3. we need to make a committed investment of ourselves in each and every member of our family as we possibly can.
In other words....as hard as it is at times, it is our job to be the head cheerleader of the family.  It almost sounds like some kind of fairy tale doesn't it?  Especially when the inspiration, encouragement, and investment in others isn't regularly reciprocated.  Well tough !  What stops you from doing everything you can to change that?  We are to do all that we can because we hope that by doing so needed changes will come, and the family unit will be stronger (and all are in need of strengthening to some degree or another).

As a result of a study of over 2,000 marriages it was found that marriage and family relationships can be changed radically by simply changing how we communicate with our wives and children.  The results showed that by sharing  at least 5 compliments, encouragements, I love yous, kind expressions, etc. for each 1 criticism  we  bestow on those others in our lives, that those relationships will flourish in ways they haven't before.  And yes, I am not naive.....it is often, yes often, far easier to lay down some sarcasm or criticism than some kindness.....real kindness from the heart.....not phoney words.

When I heard this discussed, I found myself looking inward....at how often I resort to a wee bit of sarcasm, some put-downs, criticism or even looks, as compared to how much encouragement and love I share in my own family.  I have to admit...it is far more lopsided than I would wish.  So I set a challenge for myself....and I offer the same challenge for you.  The odds of improved relationships is 5-1 if the study is true, and logic tells me that it is way true !

Challenge yourself to be acutely aware of the ways you express yourself to your family members and hold yourself to living, yes living, the 5 to 1 ratio for the whole next month.  Don't do it with any expectations....do it because it is the right thing to do.  I would think that after a months practice, you would have it pretty well down....so why not just continue with that change in your life.  It may take time, but I am guessing that at 5-1 odds, you will see some happy changes in your relationships.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Where's the remote?

How many times have you asked the question "where's the remote"?  It's been so many years since the stations and volume on TV's have had to be manually changed that I can't imagine anyone with a TV not having a remote.  And, they get "lost" every once in a while.  Thus...."where's the remote"?  Ain't any changing going on without that remote is it?  And while I'm at it, aren't they just another little thing in our lives that adds somewhat to our laziness factor?  After all, we can just continue to sit in our recliners and push buttons to get results.  Some would justify them by saying that convenience is the main factor.  And remotes aren't only for TV's are they?  There are remotes for window AC units, fans, ceiling lights and fans, remotes to start the car, you name it.

There is one thing that there is no remote for.  You will never have to ask for this remote, because there is none.  Life has no remote.....YOU have to get going and change it yourself.  Our lives, our spiritual condition, our behaviors, or morals, our beliefs (to name a few) require us personally to change as needed.  There simply is no remote, no easy comfortable way to do it.....no buttons to push.

If you are like me, you have experienced difficulties from time to time trying to be a better man, husband, and father.  We can  always find those things in our lives....either by self examination or with the help of others that need changing to make us less broken.  It is an on-going process for the duration of our walk through this life we have.  And there is no remote to do it.  Necessary change comes from within and it is up to each of us to bring it about.

So....don't bother asking "where's the remote".  You ain't gonna find it.  Instead of looking for it, get to work and change yourself.



Thursday, May 22, 2014

Green Stamps


Back in the day, S&H Green Stamps were quite the rage.  Mom would go to the local Publix grocery store once a week and buy the week's groceries.  When she checked out and paid for her purchases, the cashier would give her a quantity of those stamps based on the total of the grocery bill.  It was a big deal when she got home because she would let us kids lick the stamps and put them into the green stamp book.  This would go on for months until we would accumulate a bunch of those filled up books.  Then she would take those books to the store with her and redeem them for free stuff....usually dishware or kitchen stuff. 

Did you know that people get redemption....and that it is free....just like the green stamps?  We don't have to save up a bunch of S&H Green Stamps or anything like them for our redemption process at all.  All one has to do is acknowledge that he/her is a sinner, confesses those sins, and accepts Christ as their Lord and Savior and they receive not only God's unfathomable grace, but redemption as well.  Redemption is defined as follows:
 
deliverance from sin
atoning for a fault
salvation
repurchase
 
Christ, when He went to the cross for all of us, repurchased our sin so that we could have salvation and deliverance from sin.  You might say that he took many millions of books of S&H Green Stamps and redeemed them for us.....all of us, each and every one.  It kind of made those at the local grocery store look like small potatoes didn't it?
 
Those kind of green stamps are pretty important, eh?



Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Maintenance

Take a minute and think of all the things in your daily life that require periodic and routine maintenance......and why those things require it.  The main reason for periodic and scheduled maintenance is to prevent breakdowns and to ensure a longer life for whatever it is you maintain.
  • You pay good money for a car.  What happens to that car if you don't regularly change the oil, wash it, clean it out, check the tires, and provide other services on it at regular intervals?  It won't last as long as it normally should.
  • You take on a huge financial commitment when you buy a house.  What happens to that house if you don't regularly clean it, attend to the paint, clean the windows, regularly maintain the HVAC systems?  It can easily become a "dump" worth far less than what it should among other things.
  • You spend time and money on the yard and landscaping so it looks appealing and makes the whole property increase in value.  What happens when you don't mow, weed, fertilize, and water on a regular basis?  It can soon look like an inner-city dump lot can't it?
Let's assume for a minute that you are planning on, or are already working on your spiritual condition....and this applies across the whole range from those who want to learn a spiritual way of life to those fully committed.  Because we are an inherently broken people (thanks to the apple Eve shared with Adam in the garden), as we begin to grow, or continue to grow a new life in Christ we are subject to a need for constant "maintenance" of our spiritual condition are we not? 

In order for any of us to succeed in reaching the end of our life's journey to live eternally at the right hand of God in heaven, our minds and hearts will need maintenance checks all along the way on that journey...just as our cars, homes, yards and lawnmowers do during the full time of their lives with us.  To neglect or understand the need for routine maintenance of our hearts and minds condemns us to a great potential for hardened hearts, loss of community with others, easy entrance of sin into our lives, and a mind-set inconsistent with that which God would have us as followers of Christ.

Maintenance of the heart and mind are not only necessary, but vital to our need to eventually reach the Kingdom as we walk this narrow road we call life.  How is your maintenance program working? 
 

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

On the Golf Course

I used to love golf before some medical issues brought my golfing to an end.  I wasn't really very good, but nothing beat a nice spring day out on the golf course.  The trees, the lush grass, the well manicured greens...all just beautiful.  Then, of course, there were the hazards.  Slow play by the groups up front, water hazards, sand traps, my temper from a badly shot ball, the rough....yep, there were hazards on the course.

Life is kind of like a golf course.  We can always find and see beauty in life, can we not?  We run across some beautiful people in our journey....those we really look up to, respect, and hold in some form of reverence.  Obviously, there is always some spectacular scenery to see as we go through life, as well as some beautiful memories of our interactions with family and friends.

In this golf course of life, there are also hazards.  As we walk from the first tee of our lives to the nineteenth hole (when we pass on) there are many hazards that lay in wait for us...things that could disrupt our relationships with others, family, and God.  Hazards can stand in the way of our leading a Christ-like life as men, husbands, and fathers. 

Just as on the golf course we visit occasionally, as we live the golf course of life we need to be always mindful of the hazards that can obstruct our way or take away from enjoying the full beauty of life.  We need to know how to get past those hazards that would interfere with our relationship with God...those things that make this game we call life less than the best it can possibly be.  At times don't we all fall prey to some of life's hazards?  How do you shoot out of them so that you can successfully complete your round?  Hopefully with a shot that will be pleasing to God.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Good Theater

Have you ever enjoyed an evening at the theater seeing a good stage play? The main components of a good stage play are an interesting story line and wonderful acting.  If it is successful, the audience is appreciative and leaves with a sense of enjoyment, and is amazed at how well the actors performed.

Life itself is pretty much a stage play.  We are each the main character in life's presentation.  But there are some significant differences between life and the stage play we view in a theater.  Our stage is the world around us, and our audience is all of those we come in contact with.  And while our play has a story line, each  persons is different from all of the others.  And in our play a major difference is that we are either real, or we are "acting".  Another huge difference is that we are on stage for a very different result.  Our play has only one curtain call....we are on the stage until we die.

At points throughout my life I was acting.  Acting as if I was someone I wasn't.  Acting in such a manner so that others might see me in a different light from what I really was.  We have all done a bit of acting have we not?  Sometimes we forget that our biggest "critic" (God) sees through that and will nudge us to just follow our lines.  He just wants us to be ourselves and continue to grow as Christians, be real, and continue to learn to follow Christ, so that when the end of the third act comes we can be with Him forever.

He doesn't want us to act like Christians...He wants us to be Christians.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

 
 
Fight for you
Respect you
Include you
Encourage you
Need you
Deserve you
Stand by you
 
Is not God our greatest friend?  How does His example of being a friend stack up to our own example to others in our lives?

 



Saturday, May 17, 2014

Frienemies (fren-uh-mees)

While watching a Nascar race (sigh....I love Nascar) Darrell Waltrip, one of the announcers, talked about the drivers relationships to the other drivers at this particular race and said they are "frienemies".  It was at Talladega, a long track on which restricter place racing takes place.  I'll spare you the details, but at Talladega all the drivers are "friends" of necessity...they need each other in order to "draft" or they will quickly fall back from the pack and flounder.  So they are all "friends" during the race...all working with each other.  At about 10 laps to go the dynamics change.  It becomes each man for himself, because they all want to win.  They still need to draft (friends) but each wants to win (you will prevent the enemy from winning)--thus, "frienemies".

Realistically, we all have friends, and there are some of us who have enemies.  Enemies is a harsh word, is it not?  As Christian men, husbands and fathers, it almost sounds surreal to say that some may have enemies.  According to Merriam-Webster the definition of enemy is:
 
: one that is antagonistic to another; especially: one seeking to injure, overthrow, or confound an opponent
 
Given that description and taken in the context that an enemy can be someone who is antagonistic to another, or one seeking to confound an opponent then I think it is safe to say that, indeed, Christians can have enemies.....enemies of an earthly nature....other humans.  Hear me out here.  I think we would all agree that God works through others many times.  Isn't it just as safe to say that Satan does likewise....and does so as a means to attack us?  This presents a conundrum doesn't it?
 
Are we to view those people who would seemingly "work against us" or try to disrupt us in our spiritual lives, or perhaps ridicule us as....enemies?  Maybe, maybe not.  I think anyone would agree that anyone who is being used by the evil one to disrupt the life of a christian can be called an enemy.  However, part of the foundation of being a christian is to follow Christ's example of loving your enemy.  By doing so that "enemy" may just come to know Christ through your example.

So maybe in our daily walk we need to lighten up and realize that we don't realize that we have enemies......just frienemies.  They are the ones who need us, just as we need them to help us let our light shine as we travel our road to the finish line.
 


Friday, May 16, 2014

Identity Theft

Identity theft is a thriving "business".  We are constantly bombarded with good sound advice about it.  We are told to use any and all precautions to avoid identity theft...and there is an almost constant flow of information which contains the means to do just that.  It almost seems, these days, that you can't do enough to protect yourself from identity theft.  And, from all that I have heard from those I know who were "hacked", it can be a real can of worms before you are back to "normal" if your identity has been thieved.

What are the qualities and characteristics that clearly identify you as a Christian man, husband and father?  Can those qualities and characteristics be attacked and possibly diminished by things of the world?  Is that not just another form of identity theft?

There can be no denying that the world we live in is chock full of many earthly things that tend to stand in the way of our being all that we can be.  To name a few:
  • peer pressure
  • the relaxed mores that are so prevalent in today's society
    • sexual "freedoms"
    • relaxed views on the sanctity of marriage
    • increasing divorce rates
    • etc
  • the "need to succeed" mindset subtly advertised beyond belief
  • the "ok-ness" of the "me first" attitude so present in today's times
  • and more (you get the picture).
We were created in God's image, and as Christians we hold as our goal to be more Christ like each and every step we take down that long narrow road of life that leads to the prize---Heaven.  And in order to successfully do that we need to hold tightly those qualities and characteristics that identify us as Christians....even in the face of all that is against us.  If we succumb to peer pressure, to relaxed mores, to put being successful higher in importance than being Godly, and/or buy into a "me first" mindset....are we not allowing those things to steal our identity as Christians?

It seems to me that theft of our spiritual identity has far graver, and much more lasting consequences than identity theft of the earthly kind so many are worked up about.  Perhaps we need to be worked up about both kinds.




Thursday, May 15, 2014

Why don't I ?

Maybe you are a dog person.  If so, you of all people will appreciate a conversation I had with God last night while trying to get to sleep.  I'm sharing it as a means to share yet another point about the kind of people we all should be, that many of us want to be, that some wish to be, and that some could be....if only, or when.

My big old lovable Lab (Duke) had jumped up on the bed last night prior to my going to bed.  It's a nightly ritual, whereby he gets there early to "stake out" his territory....most generally as much of the bed as he can take so that one couldn't possibly try to sleep without being a professional contortionist.  He always has to be moved to make room for the main man. He has come to feel that it is his primary duty to guard me as closely as possible...thus he has moved from the floor to the bed.  I'm an inveterate softie I guess.

As I was trying to doze off, some questions (as follows) kept popping into my noggin:
  • Why can't (or don't) I love unconditionally like Duke does?
  • Why can't (or don't) I appreciate everyone, regardless of who or what they may be?
  • Why can't (or don't) I be as loyal and faithful to my Master like Duke is to me?
  • Why do I "thin slice" people whereas Duke doesn't?
  • Why can't I just appreciate all that I have like he does?
  • Why don't I always trust my Master the same way Duke always trusts his?
  • Why don't (or can't) I always forgive others in quick time the way Duke always seems to do with me?
  • Why aren't I open and transparent all the time the way he is?
  • Why do I work so hard so often to complicate things?
As I thought of those questions, I was once again reminded of the fact that God certainly must have a really cool sense of humor.  He made us.  We were made in His image.  He made dogs.  The characteristics of a good dog are a spittin' image of the characteristics of our God.  And the humor lies in the fact that He certainly knew that dogs were to be man's best friend.  And therein lies the humor.  Dog is God spelled backwards. 

Maybe they are here to remind us of where we need tweaking in the way we live.....kind of like just another daily reminder.  And while that is no laughing matter, it is kind of funny that it all worked out that way isn't it?

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The Repairman

What do you do when your car breaks (and if you are one of those guys that does a lot yourself, say it is beyond your ability to fix)?

You take it to the repairman
 
What do you do when one of your appliances, your computer, or your HVAC unit breaks?
 
You call the repairman
 
What do you do when you get really sick, or break a bone, or have to have surgery?
 
You go to the repairman (the doctor)
 
What do you do when your heart isn't quite right, when you feel that your relationship with God isn't quite what it should be, when you have doubts, when you are struggling with sin issues in your life, when you feel some distance between where you think you should be and where you yourself know you really are in your spiritual life?
 
You go to the repairMAN!!
 

The head wrench of this particular garage is God Himself.  Only He's a whole lot more knowledgeable than any of those other repairmen.  He already knows what is wrong, what needs fixing, and how to fix it.  He's just been waiting on you to decide that it needs fixing.  And He is the happiest person around when you finally decide that you need fixing and come to Him for repair.  And when He is your repairman, you don't have to worry about a warranty.  He's already got a space reserved for you in heaven.
 
So when you need a bit of fixing....take it right to the head wrench.


Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Exercise

Do you exercise?  Frankly, I don't....but I get quite a bit of walking in and at my age (70) I'm still working (not behind a desk) so I suppose that counts for something.  Why do people exercise?  The most obvious answer is to stay fit and stay healthy (and ward off, hopefully, down the road health issues). Fair enough !

What I'm about to share here is another kind of exercise.  It is a spiritual exercise, and I'm calling it Threshold Moments.  But first:
  • if you are presently "on the fence" about becoming a devoted follower of Christ, this exercise may help you.
  • if you are already a devoted follower of Christ, but at times you think, or it feels like, the flame (the passion) isn't what it used to be, this exercise may help you.
  • if you are neither of the above, this exercise may help you.
Going back to the reason for exercising....to stay fit and stay healthy.  Spiritual exercise is no different.  There are many spiritual "exercises" that one can do to help spiritual fitness.  Threshold Moments is one that may push you just a little bit harder than some of the others, but it is a perfect exercise to heal and soften your heart.  And it is a challenge!! and very revealing.

Here is how it works.  Devote periods (plural) of time (yes, I know...we are all busy) when you can reflect on your past.  Go back as far as you can.  Here is what you will try to look for:
  • any sequence of events, a happening, an encounter with another whereby you now (though at the time you may well not have) recognize that God or God's hand was present at the time of that sequence, happening or encounter. 
Document (in writing or on the computer) each and every one of those times that you now understand that God was at work in you or for you.  Don't worry about being in perfect chronological order.  It you take time to do this, an you may well have to, you will get spurts here and there as you recall your past.  It's OK.  The point is, as they come to you try to document as best you can the approximate dates those things occurred in your life.  If you are anywhere near my age you will be amazed at the sheer amount of things that come to mind, those Threshold Moments.  They are not all going to be "wow" moments or "ah-ha" moments or particularly pretty moments.  Some may be quite ugly, and some will be a bit innocuous.  But put any and all down that you now see as situations that had God's hand in it.  And remember, it may well be that back when some of those happened you chose to ignore the fact that His hand was in it.  Write it anyway.  And know that if you do this you may well write "stuff" that has never been shared with anyone.  That's OK.  You don't have to share this exercise either....but by writing it you are getting it "out there" in raw form for you to see....something much stronger than just thinking about it.

Here is what you will find with this exercise:
  • our God is extremely patient with us and never gives up....never, ever
  • by looking at the whole "package" you will once again see the full abundance of His amazing grace.
  • you will know forgiveness, once again, like you have never known it.
  • you will look at yourself with a new light.
  • you will find it much easier to forgive yourself of stuff you have been holding on to.
  • your heart will feel freer and cleaner than it ever has.
  • you will end up being more transparent.
  • you will look at others in a new light, and be more accepting of others shortcomings.
  • You will look at God in a whole new light
  • You will fully appreciate what Christ did on the cross...for all of us.
I'll double dog dare you to do this exercise !



Monday, May 12, 2014

Chains

Huge, sea going ships, are anchored by chains attached to huge anchors.  In comparison to the size and weight of the ships, the chains are actually quite small....and yet they hold in even the roughest of weather conditions.  In other words, the chains are very, very strong, and not easily broken.
 
Chains are also used for a variety of other purposes.  A few are...at construction sites to lock up ladders and equipment, around the yard securing gates, in mechanics shops to hoist engines, etc.  They are used in each of those applications because.....they are strong and not easily broken.
 
There other kinds of chains...human related, and they have the same degree of strength and toughness.  But in the human realm some of those chains are good chains, and some are bad chains, and, no, I am not talking about jewelry here.  And example of a good chain as applies to humans is the chain of love.  Love, if it is real authentic, unconditional, and unfailing love, is a chain that is very strong and not easily broken.  It is a permanent chain (bond) that holds us together with our mates, family, and God.
 
Some examples of bad chains in the human realm are addictions, sin, and ego.  Oh yes, there are more....I'm sure you get that.  These are chains because our ability to extradite ourselves from them is not easy at all....they are every bit as strong as those chains that hold the ships.  They too, can weather significant storms, and almost always they are way too heavy for one person (myself and yourself) to handle alone.
 
Tasha Cobb came out with a very simple gospel song called Break Every Chain.  And throughout the song it refers to the power of Jesus....the only real power that has the strength to break our chains.  And how does one use the power of Jesus to break those chains which are holding us back from having fulfilled lives?
Through prayer
Through being transparent
By working with others with chains
By acknowledging their presence in our lives
By committing ourselves to a healing process
(dumping our chains is a process, not an event)
By continuing to become more Christ-like.
And more.
 
God didn't build us with anchors attached.  Therefore, we initially came with no chains.  We made the choices that grew the chains, and therefore we are the ones that need to break those chains...and yet we cannot do it alone.  Through the power of Jesus, all of our chains can be broken.
 
 
 


Sunday, May 11, 2014

Either or.....

I found this and found it to be quite interesting.  There was no source for the material.

 
An Athiest's View on Life
 
I will live my life according to these beliefs
God does not exist
it is foolish for me to think
That there is a God with a cosmic plan
That an all-powerful God brings redemption and healing to the pain and suffering in the world
is a comforting thought, however
it
is only wishful thinking
People can do as they please without eternal consequences
The idea that
I am deserving of Hell
Because of sin
is a lie meant to make me a slave to those in power
"The more you have, the happier you will be"
Our existence has no grand meaning or purpose
In a world without God
There is freedom to be who I want to be
But with God
Everything is fine
It is ridiculous to think
I am lost and in need of saving
 
A Christian's View of Life
 
Simply read it from the bottom to the top!!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Love is glue

 
In a recent Christian Contemporary Music song by Matthew Maher, Hold Us Together, Matthew sings these words:
 
And love will hold us together
Make us a shelter to weather the storm
And I'll be my brother's keeper
So the whole world will know that we're not alone
 
This is the first day of the rest of your life
This is the first day of the rest of your life
'Cause even in the dark, you can still see the light
It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright

In the final analysis, what is it that becomes the glue that holds us all together.  Love.  Love of God, and love of others.  The words of the chorus of that song "this is the first day of the rest of your life" are so applicable aren't they?  Especially since none of us are sure it might not also be the last day of our lives.  Sometimes we just need to pay a bit more attention to some of the simpler things in life...like loving (God and others) and sharing it.

Whether or not we are going to stick around for a while (something we don't know), it sure can't help to get the glue out and use it.  Let's love today !



Friday, May 9, 2014

The furthurest thing on your mind

If you were to stop what you are doing right now and think about it....what is the furthermost thing from your mind?  I'm not privy to any studies on that, but I would sure bet that better than half of the folks who would be asked that question would say "getting old".  Getting old is a relative thing, and I think that is especially true for us men. 

When we are kids and teens....grampa is old...way old, and we can not imagine ourselves "being there" anymore than we can imagine birds barking.  In our 20's and 30's our grampa's are older yet, and once again we just can't picture ourselves being that age.  After all, in that age bracket there is a whole lot more going on than worrying about getting old.  There's jobs to be concerned with, families to provide for, and face it...most of us in that age bracket are pretty healthy.  So not to worry. 

In our 40's we may get our thoughts tweaked once in a while as we realize that maybe, just maybe we are pushing the halfway point of our life span.  But, we still feel young, we are energetic (denial helps us feel that way for sure), and we consider ourselves "vibrant", right?  Thoughts of getting old become a bit more prevalent as we enter into our 50's, and by the time we hit the 60's we don't necessarily admit that we are getting old, but we do acknowledge that inside ticking of the age clock.  And it is down hill from there....we are getting old.  Regardless of how we feel, we now fully realize that yes, we are getting old.

There is a point to all of this.  The time span between the 20's and the late 60's is a whole lot faster than anyone ever realizes.  Which makes the question "what's the furthermost thing from your mind?" actually quite important.  When we think that time will pass by slowly (it will be forever before I am old like grampa), we tend to put off things, to procrastinate.  You know..."I'll get that later" or "I'll do that later....I've got lots of time".

Being the absolute best man, husband, and father is not something to let time sort out for you.  It is a lifetime journey, simply because of one thing.....none of us knows when we will die.  You see, dying is also one of the things that is furthermost from our minds, and yes, it will generally come in 2nd place to growing old as an answer to the question "What is the furthermost thing from your mind?"

In the grand scheme of things, which is more important?  Living daily while growing in Christ, or putting it off until we get older because then we will have more time for it?  No time like the present, is there.....regardless of your age now?

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Get out of the way !

How many times have you either silently said or outright exclaimed "get out of the way" when driving in traffic?  Or perhaps, if you are a dog person like I am, have you said that to Fido when he walks right in front of you and almost trips you because he is happy that you may be taking him somewhere?  Worse yet, perhaps you have said that to one of your kids that is hanging right over you to watch you do something that, to him, is really interesting and neat.

At a recent service at my church, there was one of those special services that just ripped through my heart.  The message was one of such affirmation for the life I have chosen to follow that this particular Sunday became more than a Sunday...it became a Bawl day.  This was especially since the message was followed by communion and then baptism for some new believers.  It was one of those special moments in time when my heart was completely absent of any hardness at all...none...zilch.  There was nothing there but an awe inspiring feeling of love, belonging, and joy.

The message started with a series of questions asking if we wondered where our lives would be now "if only"... .  That was followed with a discussion of how much the choices we make in our lives affect our outcomes, and thus...where we are now vs where we could have been.  It wasn't, though it could have gone there, a message about lost hopes, and missed opportunities (after all, we all  have those in our past don't we?) but rather a lesson of promise and hope because God is always working for us and in us if we let Him do so. 

As I was trying to get to sleep that evening, I was praying joyfully and thankfully for where I am right now as opposed to those times in my life when I was on the darker side.  That period of time when the road upon which I was traveling was leading me nowhere.  That time when there was very little hope and joy in my life.  And I was reveling in the fact that I now know where my future is, where this road I am now traveling on will lead me.

And then it struck me, as I was thinking about the fact that I know there will be pitfalls, detours, obstacles, and blind spots during my journey that all I really need to do now, as I go down that road, is to get out of the way of myself and simply follow Jesus there.  He will get me through those rough spots and pitfalls, and He will lead me right to the perfect destination for the end of my life. 

I just need to get out of the way.  Don't we all?

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Why?

Have you ever wondered why you are a Christian?  Is it "just because" or are there other compelling reasons?  Is it because it is the thing to do or what?

I saw the following the other day....a very simple thing, but it nailed it completely on the head for me.

 
It's all about the brokenness within each of us....brokenness which is as big a part of me as my DNA.  And because I am weak....I can yield to temptation and sin in the blink of an eye.  I have proven that many times over.  The worldview of many folks is that those of us who call ourselves Christians are somehow "good", and they seem to look for flaws in us so that they can have their "ah--ha" moments.  My "ah-ha" moment is when I see that flaw and realize that there is one more thing that needs fixing.  And knowing that those "ah-ha" moments will continue for me until the day I die.
 
Somehow I feel that God really enjoys it when we have those "ah-ha" moments....because He sees progress when we have them.  And I sense that He is joyful when we have them.
 
So, doesn't it somehow make sense that we don't have to question ourselves as to why we are Christians?  Or if we do, as perhaps we are bound to once in a while, isn't it great to know that the answer to that question is because we can have those "ah-ha" moments to reflect upon and thus know that we are right where we are supposed to be.....embracing our brokenness and darn well doing something about it?
 

 


Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Dear (your name)

What might you think if you got the following note from your wife and kids?

Dear (your name here):

Maybe sometimes you think we need or want a nice car, or a better income, and maybe even some fancier gifts at those times when gifts are thought necessary.  Sometimes perhaps you feel we need a bigger and better house, or a really "wow" vacations.  And might you feel sometimes that bigger may be better, and that more "toys" will somehow be more satisfying?

(your name here), here's what really matters to us.  Most importantly, we want you to keep on working hard at being the spiritual leader of this family. We don't really need all the nice things life has to offer if it means you are going to have to work more to see that we have them.  We just want your time and your heart.  Those are way more important things in life than things and stuff.  You have no idea how much we love your smile, your honesty, your openness, and your effort.  If we are your priority, that is all that matters.  We are forever.  Things and stuff might not be.

We love you just as you are.  And we are happy with you just as you are.  You don't have to prove anything to us as long as you just continue to love us.

Perhaps some might want to type this up for themselves and keep it at work to look over once in a while.  After all, we do seem to get a bit wrapped up in the perceived need for constant bigness and betterness at times don't we.  It is easy to forget that more often than not, simplicity is happier.

How might you respond to that note?

Monday, May 5, 2014

Beauty and the Beast

In the 1991 Oscar winning movie, Beauty and the Beast, Belle's father was imprisoned by the Beast.  Belle offered herself instead, and in the course of time discovered her captor to be an enchanted prince.

In real life, in today's times, it is sadly unfortunate that all to often we "thin slice" some of the folks we run across.  And yes, we do this at church as well.  Sometimes we have tragically somehow set ourselves up as perhaps just a little bit better than some others.  True?  Yes, I know that sounds harsh, but if you really cut to the chase of what makes us tick is not it very easy at times to "thin slice" based upon how another may act, look, dress, or perhaps even because of their ethnicity?

"Thin slicing" can be an ugly part of our human nature.  And if it is, it is something that needs to be addressed if we are to be real Christians.  We need to know only one thing about others....their heart.  For their beauty is not from their outside appearances.  Their beauty resides in their hearts. 
 

Just as Belle discovered that the ugly old beast was, in fact, an enchanted prince in the fairy tale, if we just look beyond our instinctive ability to "thin slice"   and look for that light of Christ in the hearts of others, we too will find many other real life enchanted princes we may never have known were there.


Sunday, May 4, 2014

A Repost: Sanity on Sunday

This is an experiment and a repost.  The original post was one that was quite special for me, so I went back through the archives to put it on as a repost.  Simply hit the link in blue down below and it should take you there.  Enjoy !

A Better Man, Husband, Father: Sanity on Sunday: Sundays are special days for me anymore.  I like the idea of having a good loafing day, and Sundays qualify for that.  I like football games...

The Unknown Battlefield

In Arlington National Cemetery, as almost everyone knows, there is a very special place.  It is called the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  If you have ever seen it, you realize instantly that it is a place of deep unwavering respect.  It is a very solumn place, a place with extreme dignity.

As Christians, we are commanded multiple times through the words and examples of Jesus to be kind to others.  All others.  Every single one.  It is a theme that runs throughout the whole New Testament, and it couldn't be more clear....especially by His examples.

Question....Do we all not like to be treated kindly?  Especially on those days when there is a lot going on in our lives and heads.  You know, those times we are dealing with "stuff" that is on the verge of bringing us down.  Stuff that is weighing us down and playing heavy on our hearts.

We all have an Unknown Battleground within us.  We might be struggling with a relationship, a family matter, a financial matter, or even a spiritual matter.  And often times we don't want anyone to know about that particular battleground...so we try to mask it and fake it like "all is good".  At those times we can easily reach a tipping point where, because of the battle going on within us, we can come close to exploding.  And oftentimes, just the mere fact that someone who didn't know about that particular battle was kind to us kept us from going over the edge.

Consider this:

We all fight a battle once in a while.  None are immune.  We don't know if the guy we just met for lunch has a battle going on or not (unless, of course, he says something about it).  But what we do need to know is that if we follow the words and actions of Christ, and are always kind, we just may help some person as he stands on that unknown battleground.


Saturday, May 3, 2014

The Brain Shelf

When talking with a friend the other day, he kept getting back to an issue where he had really messed up on years ago.  It seemed as if he just couldn't let it go...just kept on wanting to massage it.   What seemed to bother him the most was not the issue itself.  He intellectually knew it was in the past and that there was nothing that could change what had been done.  What was really eating him up was the fact that the issue periodically just kept jumping out at him, sometimes, it seemed, as if out of nowhere.

I think we all have stuff like that going on in our heads.  It's junk, not unlike space junk that just floats around and comes to roost at inopportune times....to mess with us (or so it seems).  I know I have plenty of it in there, and the bulk of it is about some broken relationships of my past, the bad decisions I made when living in the dark, etc, etc. 

I think when we come to believe it almost seems easier to "see" that old junk in the head.  It almost seems as if it purposely lands in our thought center to tease us or haunt us....or worse, to drive a wedge into our spiritual security...that which we continue to work on.  And at times it is so strong that I could almost swear that there is a demon in my head that is waving the red flag at the bull.

Here is what I shared with my friend during that conversation.  It was something that took me a long time to be able to learn and use.  I compartmentalize.  Say what?  I've come to accept the fact that there is space junk in my mind.  It is as much a part of me as my skin and my DNA.  Because of that, it is there and it isn't going to go away.  It will go to the grave with me.  So I have mentally constructed a couple of rooms in my brain.  There is a room for good junk, and there is a room for bad junk.  And in each room I have stored the junk in boxes and placed them on shelves that I constructed in each room. 

Now I just accept the fact that every once in a while one of those boxes of junk is going to fall off the shelf, open up, and start to float around my head.  When that happens, I have three choices:
  1. I can ignore the junk that is floating around
    1. except that just causes clutter that I might be ignoring but know is there
  2. I can do what my friend was doing...fretting and getting upset about it
    1. Let's face it...we have enough stuff going on in our lives that we don't need that kind of distraction.
  3. I can put the junk back in the box, put the box back on the shelf, and slam the door of that closet shut.
The important thing about the brain shelf is that every once in a while it is going to happen....a box is going to fall off and some junk will float around.  As long as one realizes that, it becomes easier to put the box back on the brain shelf.

Friday, May 2, 2014

School of Hard Knocks

Though I finished college and went on to complete my Masters Degree in middle age, when someone has asked about my education I have generously shared that I got PhD from the School of Hard Knocks.  With honors.....er, dishonor really.  If I was a betting man I'd bet that most men had darkened the doorway of Hard Knock University at least once in their lifetime.

The School of Hard Knocks isn't necessarily a bad thing however.  In fact attendance there, however briefly one may be there, often "wakes" the attendee up to the error(s)  of his ways and brings about significant change in that person.  It's just that some (like me) were just a bit harder to wake up than others.  Some of the course offerings at Hard Knocks University are:
  • stupid decision making 101    (I aced this course)
  • yielding to temptation 302     (never really wanted to quit this course)
  • maintaining loss of self-control 405   (one of my favorites)
  • how to sabotage good relationships 202    (got an A++ in this one)
  • ego building 104    (a favorite perennial offering I enjoyed)
  • why you don't need God in your life 205   (the course curriculum is wild!)
  • etc.
Hard Knocks University turns out some of the finest broken people in the world without teaching them how to handle the baggage that came with their degree and will carry with them for the rest of their lives.  That is the one huge shortcoming from attending the school.

So, for the sake of the argument, let's assume that maybe you have attended, at least on a part time basis at some point during your life, the School of Hard Knocks.  What to do about that nasty baggage they let you carry out when you left there?

Well, there is another school that is absolutely thrilled to accept anyone, and especially those who have previously attended the School of Hard Knocks.  It is called Christian University.  It is present literally everywhere in the world.  It is housed in churches.  There are satellite facilities called small groups.  And one can even attend this University in one's own home.  Here's what I have learned about Christian University, and it applies to any of us who make the choice to attend:
 
Jesus is the Principal
the Holy Spirit is my teacher
other Christians are my  classmates
the Bible is my study book
Trial, errors, and temptation are my exams
winning others for Christ are my assignments
prayer is my attendance
grace and redemption is the locker for my baggage
the Crown of Life is my degree
praise and worship is the motto
and Heaven is the graduation present.
 
I'm certainly glad that I found that.  It was easy to enroll, and the tuition is free.  All I'm asked to do is yield myself, forgive and be forgiven, and let the headmaster (God) do His work in me.  Satisfaction is guaranteed.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Out of the Rut

Yesterday the post was about being in a rut.  Today's is about getting out of the rut you may find yourself in.....and if you are like most men there are times when you feel you are just in a rut.  And, by the way, occasional "rut-itis" comes with that thing we are all afflicted with....being human. It is inevitable that there will be times we feel that way. So that said, what do we do with it? Following are some things that often help with being in a rut:
  • First, don't hide from the fact that you feel you are in a rut when you feel that way.  Acknowledge it....own it.
  • Don't beat up on yourself because you aren't Superman and that you feel as if you are in a rut.
  • If you have thought about the reasons why you find yourself in a rut, then think about what changes you can make to change that.  Some suggestions would include:
    • If it is partly relational, first talk about the feelings you have.  It may well be that your wife or girlfriend, or kids don't know how you feel, or haven't noticed it.
    • then talk about how to turn it around
      • Perhaps you may need to get into a spontaneous routine of doing date nights or specific fun times at irregular intervals (anything to avoid sameness.
    • If it is a spiritual rut you are feeling, communication and transparency are two of the best methods of beginning the change process.
      • A close and trusted confidante may well have a few eye opening thoughts to share along that line...perhaps simple things you can do to break up the monotony.
  • Understand that sometimes getting into a rut has been a process, and as such treat getting out of the rut not an event but a process.
    • come up with a rut-busting plan.....then implement it, and follow it, and enjoy it!
  • See forward for positive change.
    • In a relational rut healing process, savor the good moments, the happy moments....they are infectious, and very healing.
    • In a spiritual rut, embrace and hold tight the fact that God never stops loving you and never, ever, gives up on anyone....YOU INCLUDED!
      • Keep your eye on your reward for working to know Christ....Heaven.  Nothing trumps that!
  • Love yourself for being able to look at yourself and any brokenness you may find there.
    • And love yourself for having the understanding that fixing that brokenness is a process and then embrace that process.
Rut-itis is a permanent condition only if we allow it to be....if we make those choices that allow it to be. 

Just like the trip to the Grand Canyon, there was great beauty after being in the ruts.