Monday, June 30, 2014

No strings attached

Doesn't it seem that so many so called good deals come with the qualifying phrase "no strings attached"?  To me that implies that there is no hidden agenda, no facts left out, all is on the table, and it is an up and up deal.  One of the best "deals" around is another term we hear fairly often....unconditional love.  I've written about that before in the context of the dogs we have owned and the lessons they have shared with me by just being dogs....they have all just plain loved unconditionally....no expectations, no agendas, no strings attached.  Like God...and there surely must be some irony there simply because of the spelling (dog is God, backwards).

I was listening to a gentleman (who had a very colorful background) sharing some of his story.  And the more I listened to the short interview, the more enthralled in it I became, and the more I became certain that through that conversation some truths were being opened to me about my own way of doing Christianity.  You see, the gentleman was sharing that he had always been somewhat of a "bargainer", "pleader", and "let's make a dealer" in his prayers.  For the most part he would offer to do this or that if the Lord answered his prayer.  Something like "I will change this about me if....", or "I will go do this if....", and the like.  Getting the picture here?  And then he changed, as will be noted further on.

It got me to thinking about myself as the conversation progressed.  Through introspection as a result of listening to this I was able to see that yes I have done a lot of the same.  Perhaps not outright, but surely by having at times some "hidden agendas" not talked about in my conversations with God.  There has been stuff said and unsaid during prayers, quite probably more than I would like.

Here is what the man shared that really caught my attention...about the tiny little change he made in his prayer life.  All he did was offer himself up to the Lord to be a servant...to do what God wanted him to do, go where he wanted him to go...with no strings attached.  No begging, no bartering, no pleading.  Just "tell me what to do, show me where to go...I am committed."  And it was at that point that many, many positive changes came about in his life, his perspective, and his relationships.  And it was nothing short of a miracle given the guys history.

It was as simple as that...."take me, I am yours...lead me and I will follow...do with me what you will, I will obey.  This whole conversation really struck me as I considered my own prayer life.  I've always been an outspoken proponent of a simple conversational prayer life.  Just a chat between God and me.  Because of the fact that this conversation seems to have really grabbed me in such a way that it felt very relevant to me, I can only assume that my prayer life hasn't been simple enough....that there have been strings attached, that I have bargained and pleaded more than I ever knew.  God loves us...no strings attached.  I need to reciprocate in the same way...with no strings attached.

How about you?  Do you ever just take the simple way out and just say "here I am Lord, take me and use me however you want to....I will follow"?

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Oops, the lights went out

The storm hits.  The lights go off in the house.  You see that they are out throughout the neighborhood.  So you know it could be a while before you have power again, but you remain reasonably sure that ComEd will eventually get the problem fixed and your power will be restored.

You have to look into a tight, dark area...perhaps inside the bath vanity where you sense there may be a plumbing leak.  The flashlight is so dim you can hardly see anything (but the kids really did have fun playing with it!).  So you get a couple of new batteries, put them in the flashlight, and now you can see under the vanity.

We humans don't always feel the power do we?  Whether it is the power of God working in us, around us, through us, alongside of us, or through others near us...we sometimes "miss" it don't we?  Whether it is the busyness of daily life, the fact that we're just not "tuned in" at that particular time,  or whatever other reason, sometimes that "light" just isn't on.

Can you sense it when that light goes out?  Do you feel something's missing?  Do you somehow not feel so whole?  Do you yearn for it when it goes dim?  There's a major difference between the light of life going out or dim and the flashlight or neighborhood going dark.  For our spiritual wellbeing it is imperative that the life light not remain dimmed or off.  Our lives depend on that in much more critical ways than that of simply waiting for ComEd to show up. 

We really catch a break when that life light dims.  All we have to do is seek God's help and trust Him to deliver...and He will meet us in the middle.  We're doing the asking, He's doing the responding.  If we but stay attuned to what is going on inside of us, we will know when that light starts to flicker.  And the more we stand ready to meet Him in the middle, the more we will find all areas of our lives as men, husbands, and fathers to be much more fulfilling....and our walks in Christ's footprints will bear much fruit.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Free people, free people

Have you ever considered how much of an impact the following things have, or have had on your life?  As you read through the list, keep in mind that while most may well have been intentional, often they are not intentional, though our reactions are usually the same.
  • slurs, digs, and innuendo hurled your way
  • sarcasm directed at you
  • unfounded rumors/gossip specifically about you
  • outright lies about you
  • hurt deliberately bestowed on you
I, and for this I am ashamed, have told folks in the past that they need to get thicker skin  because I had said something(s) to them under the guise of "truth", when in reality I was actually getting my "digs" in or throwing sarcasm around.  It almost seems as if we have this "mean streak" gene in us that we just have to let loose on others at periodical intervals.  Usually we get pretty good at knowing just when to utilize that gene to get the best results out of those we are directing it at:  pain, hurt, loss of esteem or dignity (if only for a while).  The object is to use what comes way too easily as a tool to show that somehow we are better than the recipient, or that we are controllers, or that we just don't care all that much about them. 

The net result of that gene getting let loose is often hate. Hate robs us of joy, it reduces our ability to be compassionate, and it is a breeding ground for a lack of trust.  I'm sure many of us have been on both sides of the coin.  And I am equally as sure that we do not like being on the receiving end.  I, as perhaps most folks do, know what it is like to hate.  I quite sure that if God mirrored man (and thank God He doesn't!!) He would be one hate consumed being.  After all, just how much have we, over the course of our lives, hurt Him?  In how many ways?  But our God isn't like that....He forgives us, and freely gives us Grace.  And therein lies the lesson.  Don't we truly need to mirror Him so that we can likewise forgive and extend grace?  Some points about forgiveness:
  1. Authentic forgiveness is not cheap.  It sometimes comes at a cost to us, as when we extend it because it means we have to let go of something we have held on to for a long time. 
  2. Forgiveness isn't about condoning the actions against us...not at all.  It's about letting it go.
  3. Forgiveness isn't about reconciling.  Often that is just impossible.  It is freeing us of the chains of that particular situation or person.
  4. Forgiveness isn't about forgetting.  We may never forget the slights and hurts...they may well remain tucked up in the dusty cracks of the cranium forever. 
  5. It is about choosing to let go and be free.
Forgiving others can be hard.  Hard or not, the results are the same.  We become free.  And, free people, free people.  And that happens because as we accept grace (from God) we can then extend grace (to others).

thanks GB

Friday, June 27, 2014

50-20 Vision

Do you like who you are becoming or who you are?  Have you turned out to be the person you had hoped you would be, the one you envisioned during those quiet earlier moments in life when you saw a vision of yourself years down the road?  I doubt that many of us have.  Real life is quite different than fantasy life is it not?  Real life tosses out real roadblocks.  Fantasy life has removable roadblocks.  And therefore perhaps we haven't turned out quite like we would have liked.  But wait....

One of the roadblocks in real life that is an inborn preventer of real growth is that we are obsessed (almost) with our past.  We have a tendency, do we not, to carry around all of our "stuff" (life junk), and we relive it over, and over, and over again?  In the case of our past, our rememberers work exceptionally well, and our forgetters are no where to be found.  So we find ourselves, often unwittingly, massaging that past that we carry around with us.  Here's a thought !!

"Our past isn't our past if it is still impacting our present"
 
Guilty !  It is a natural part of our human condition to find it difficult to put our past in God's hands, and therefore behind us.  But that is really the only way to enhance further and future growth as men, husbands, and fathers.  Whoaaaa....this goes against how I am wired, how many of us are.  But, remember, we are all on that long narrow road of life, the end of which we are all striving for, the end of which being where the prize is...heaven and eternal fellowship with God.  So as such, it is imperative that we deal with this particular roadblock in our lives. 
 
An appropriate quote by Martin Luther applies:  "If your head is made of butter, don't sit near the fire".  Not fully releasing our past is akin to Mr. Butterhead sitting by that fire...it's not going to go away.  It will just continue to melt and continually make a mess of ourselves.
 
There is hope!  It is never too late to become who we have envisioned ourselves to be.  Dump the junk.  Put it right in God's hands.  And then trust Him to deal with it.  He will.  He's got huge hands.  And then put your efforts and energy into seeing the long view of life through 50-20 vision.  It will take less energy to look with 50-20 vision than it does to deal with past junk.  Win-win !!
 
Thanks Greg.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

One expensive bat

When talking with a neighbor the other day he happened to mention how happy is 13 year old son was because he had taken $180.00 out of the money he saved and bought a baseball bat with it.  I didn't say anything, but I was shocked.  In talking with some of my sons who are more in the know than I am about such things, I found that there are some bats (for kids) out there for far more than $180.00.  Yes, I am old school.  Back when I was in Little League, well over 50 years ago, we wore hand-me-down uniforms, and any old bats we could find.....and I just wonder if we didn't have just a bit more fun playing.  It sure seems to me that things were simpler and less competitive back then.

So how does an expensive bat relate to being a better man, husband, and father....the purpose of these posts? I think an overly expensive bat in the hands of youth is symptomatic of many ills of society as well as roadblocks to spiritual growth. How so?
  • do we not place a whole lot of unnecessary emphasis "things" and "more", "bigger", and "better"?  What message does this carry to our kids?  What message does it send to those around us?  What does it say about us?
  • does not this type of competitiveness distract us from our real purpose as people, as God's children? 
Often, as adults, our "toys" are far more costly by comparison that that kids $180.00 bat, and yet they are just as much a toy as that bat is.  That said, our manner of justifying those "toys" is much more refined than the reason for justifying that bat...."all the kids own their own bats, and you have to keep up if you are going to get good hits".  Quite a message there for those still in their formative years.  Is there any possibility that that chain will be broken?

If this sounds like a rant, it really isn't.  In fact, it is far from it.  I am just sad that a simple ordinary game like Little League baseball is so highly competitive and so un-simple, that perhaps there are some not so good life lessons that kids in their formative years are learning.  We can only hope that when they become the next adult generation that they will see clearly, and that we as their parents and grandparents have instilled in them the kind of values that will allow them to be a proud generation.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Those darn "D"'s

While driving the other day some revelations came to my head.  It was just one of those rare moments of clarity when thoughts not only come, but they are powerful, revealing, and gripping, almost as if there is a life lesson to be learned as God chose to still my heart and mind long enough to listen to what He had to say to me.  I like it when that happens, because it serves to remind me that I am on the right track, I am making forward progress (ever so slightly it so often seems), and that there is hope for me yet.  Those times make me smile, and want to shout out that God has just spoken to me....yes, me !!!!

In our one sided conversation (yes, I just listened for a change) it was made quite clear to me that there are a bunch of "D's" that interfere with my growth as one who is trying to be a better man, husband, and father.  I suspect that many, upon just a bit of introspection, might also feel the same way.  Frankly, as long as we are breathing, I can't see how we can NOT be affected by at least some of those darn "D's".
  1. Distractions:  many things can become distractions in our efforts to grow more Christ like.  Our jobs, our family life, our needs for rest and recreation, unintended interruptions in our routines, work issues, even just the dailyness of our daily lives.  While each of those things surely offer us multiple opportunities to grow in Christ, do not we often allow them to become the very distractions that they really aren't or perhaps shouldn't be?
  2. Detours:  I absolutely know about detours.  Many of us do.  We run into detours because WE set up the barricades ourselves and re-route our lives.....because we think we can do our lives better than He can.  True?  It is really easy to throw some barricades up so that we can take a detour, yes?
  3. Doubts:  As a follow up to detours, may it be the case that we take those detours because we either doubt, or have doubts  about what God's direction for us is?  I mean, after all it is our lives and who knows us better than ourselves?  W.R.O.N.G!!!  Oh but, we sometimes forget that only God really knows us and what is best for us.  Doubts cause us to become hard of hearing when we need to hear that small still voice within us.
  4. Detractions:  Detractions actually differ just a bit from distractions in that we have more direct control over what we allow to distract us than we do over detractions.  For the most part, detractions are more externally (and thus harder to avoid) caused than distractions, and thus our method of dealing with them differs somewhat.  Some examples of detractions might be a catastrophic event like a death or sudden serious illness, extended vacations, living in an unevenly yoked relationship, etc.  While each of these provides us with ample opportunity to grow spiritually, they equally provide us with ample opportunity to not be as strong spiritually as if they weren't there in the first place.
  5. Desires:  Simply put, I know my own desires, and I know just how easily they can (and do) result in my brokenness.  If my only desire was to be a true follower of Christ certainly none of the "D's" would have any effect on me at all.  I sense that most all of us know the jams our desires can get us into, and the result of those jams on our sense of spirituality.
  6. Disturbances:  Huh???  How about such things as anger, jealousy, greed, ego....are they not disturbances?  Are they not things that stand in the way of calm, joy, peace, harmony, etc?  And therefore are they not disturbances?
Sometimes it's not pretty to look deeply into ourselves.  We don't like what we see, and we fear change.  Or we fear that we can't change.  The glue that holds me together personally is the fact that I know I have received God's grace and that He is completely aware of my struggles with those darn "D's", and yet He loves me completely anyway because all He is asking of me is to keep putting one foot in front of the other each day and while doing so strive to make that one day better than the last.  He is looking for progress...not perfection. 

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Ashamed

I'm going to share a couple of short real life stories that have multiple element to them.  They are both true stories, both involve real people, and both speak tellingly about our human condition.  While we may try very hard to be the people we want to be, people who follow Jesus, it is very, very easy to fail.....as both will illustrate.  And, bear in mind that this failure is a direct result of our brokenness and our natural human condition....something which is seemingly quite hard to change on a day to day basis.  That said, we really do have but one choice...and that is to learn from our mistakes and keep on trying with day by day effort.

#1:  I was in line at the cashiers at a busy pre-pay gas station with 12 pumps.  An obviously old and somewhat confused older gentleman was in front of me.  I overheard the conversation between he and the cashier...a man who was bending over backwards to try to help the older guy who was trying to pay for some gas.  He wanted $10 dollars worth and was trying to pay with a $20 dollar bill.  But, the attendant needed to know which pump the man's vehicle was at and that was where it was going down hill.  The older guy couldn't seem to understand that the pumps were numbered, and that when he pre-paid the attendant would turn that pump on for the requested amount.  So the attendant tried to find out which vehicle was the man's (all pumps had vehicle by them) and the poor old guy got upset and was angry because he couldn't understand what difference it made what his vehicle was, he just wanted some gas...leading the attendant to think that perhaps he wanted gas in a can for a lawnmower or something else.  Finally the confused old man got mad, snatched his money from the attendant's hand and stormed out.  I was next in line and I made a comment to the attendant that reflected my thoughts....I genuinely felt sorry for the old guy, who was obviously confused.  I paid for my purchase and left the store.  That is when I noticed a lady (she had been behind me in line, but I didn't realize she had left) talking to the old man by his truck, by pump 6, explaining very patiently how the process worked.  Then she took the fellow back into the gas station and helped him complete his purchase....without further issues.  I was very, very embarrassed and humbled as I tried to stick a piece of gum (my purchase was a pack of gum) in my mouth.  I felt terrible because that gum was no where near as important as dropping what I was doing to help the poor guy.....and I had failed.

#2:  A friend shared that he went to Chicago with his grandsons to goof off for a day.  During that time, the boys wanted something to eat, so he took them to a place that specializes in Chicago style hot dogs.  While in line, a beggar approached him and asked for some money.  He related that he deliberately avoided eye contact and didn't acknowledge the request...just went up and made the order for the meals.  Then it got sticky....as one of the kids told grampa that maybe the guy was hungry.  He just kind of pushed the thought off.  As they left, and got a few blocks away, he noticed that there was another obviously homeless man standing by the doorway of MacDonald's.  Just as he looked, a little old lady came out of Mac's with a sack of carry out, handed it to the homeless guy, smiled at him, told him to have a good day, and then walked off.  He related to me that he had gotten gut slapped twice in quick succession....once by his grandson, and once a few moments later by an anonymous old lady.

Both stories show just how much we, who like to call ourselves Christians:
  • are still broken
  • still need to learn
  • can  learn from simple everyday encounters with others
  • still have so much work to do with ourselves as we seek to become more like Jesus
  • are prone to miss opportunities (willingly or otherwise) to help others and show love
  • need to continually pray for "fixing"
I was ashamed of myself and embarrassed.....as was my friend.  One good thing came out of the coffee and donuts the day we shared those stories.....we owned up to what we had done or not done, and both made a pledge to do better.

How do simple everyday encounters affect you?

Monday, June 23, 2014

Up and running again

Thank you for your patience while a computer switch was made.  You will start receiving new articles within 2 days. 

Friday, June 20, 2014

Temporary Disruption

Well,  the old workhorse passed away.  She was 8 years old, and in her time had suffered through several bouts of varying degrees of illness.  This last illness proved to be fatal.  My laptop died the other day.  The techno-geeks strongly advised me NOT to put another nickel into it.....just let it go.

So it will be perhaps a week or so before I have the new replacement all up and running....so I ask that you not abandon me in that time.....just wait patiently please.  The blog isn't dead or dying....and there are more posts in the works.

Thank you for your patience.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Tooth Fairy

I recently got a text from my daughter that included a picture of the "princess", my granddaughter who had proudly just lost her first tooth.  When I was a kid, that was a really big deal.  It was almost like a rite of passage.  And it meant that the tooth fairy would pay a visit to my bedroom that night if I left the tooth under my pillow.  I would wake up in the morning full of anticipation because I had been told that if I left that tooth under the pillow the tooth fairy would come during the night while I was sleeping and take the tooth and leave something there for me.  It was always a quarter...a whole quarter that was my very own.

Later on that day, my daughter again texted me to tell me she was all excited....she had found her tooth fairy pillow....a special pillow made for her by her grammy when she was but a wee girl, and that she was passing it on to the princess.  Then she made the comment "It's amazing the junk I have held on to."  (Being the sentimentalist that she is, she has kept a ton of "stuff" from her childhood years....stuff that has now become generational treasures).

I texted her back and shared that this is good "junk"....healthy "junk".  This kind of "junk" is good for the family.  It provides wonderfully warm and fuzzy bonding, memories, connections.  It isn't harmful "junk".

Unfortunately, many of us also hang on to other junk.  Like our pasts.  Like bad memories.  Like our mistakes.  Like grudges.  Like anger.  And the list goes on and on.  That kind of junk is cancerous, because if allowed it metastasizes within us and the outcome is a bitter, unhappy person....one who often is relationally challenged.  One who can only have a tenuous relationship with God.

There is no tooth fairy pillow in the stuff we have saved from our childhood that we can put that kind of junk under and magically have it transformed.  Most of the self-help programs have a concise and clear message they lean on to deal with that kind of junk.  "Turn it over and let it go".  While not always easy, it is, if nothing else, quite succinct.  Developing and maintaining a relationship with Christ is the single most successful way to "turn it over and let it go".  He is not a tooth fairy, but when we put our junk under the pillow He does give us a new life and a new way to live it.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Big Boy Pants

There were a couple of guys who are both all but retired who were sharing a job together.  They were all but retired because of their physical conditions, not necessarily because of their age.  They periodically take on paint jobs, repair jobs....most anything to help out with the home expenses.  Both of the guys have significantly checkered pasts, pasts that literally "took them down" at a time when they were both still in their prime (working prime).  Obviously, their individual pasts came to roost:
  • their productive earning years were cut short by the results of their earlier behavior and living styles
  • thus, at an older age now,  they face much more financial insecurity than they otherwise might have had it not been for those earlier choices made by each
  • and, because of that, each finds it necessary to productively work in their sunset years as opposed to enjoying the fruits of what should have been more than a few years of normal working life.
Interestingly, neither guy whines about the current situation he is facing.  Both men have become believers and each man views his ugly past as a gift, as you will, because each was allowed to live through it when many others didn't.  They also look at all that garbage as a positive, because to each it seems as if God never interfered with all of those bad choices each made, yet never abandoned them either.  He simply waited.....and waited.....and waited.  And when that moment came when each turned themselves over to Christ, He was still there with His arms wide open.....and He welcomed them and showered each with the gift of grace and redemption.

We all have parts of our lives that could (and maybe still do) that could be considered negative.  We all carry the baggage of our past to some degree or another.  And, we all have a serious choice to make when it comes to how the negatives and the baggage control us or impact us now. 
  1. We can allow it to control us and impact us....which it will
  2. or, we can put our big boy pants on and move ahead.
By putting on the big boy pants, we free ourselves of that past.  By putting them on we are better enabled to be the men we were meant to be....children of God.  And while those big boy pants don't necessarily protect us from ourselves (I have proven that many times over) they are the "tools" that allow us recognize our faults and sin when it happens, and they become the pathway to forgiveness and grace.  Christian men, husbands, and fathers will never be perfect....but they will always be wearing their big boy pants.  And one size fits all.

Do you have your big boy pants on?

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The other line

What's wrong with this picture?

Heaven
-------------------------------------
 
Hell
 
 
Does it seem to you as if there is a line separating heaven from hell?  Do you picture that line as being the distinguishing line that determines who goes to heaven and who goes to hell?  Or do you perhaps picture that line as "the crossing line".....as in if my particular sin crosses that line, I'm doomed?  So here are some other questions to ponder about that picture.
  • who determines what sin places one on either the blue side or the red side of the line?
  • indeed, since we are all sinners, would not that necessarily mean that we would all be on the red side of the line?
  • and if that is the case, why the line at all.....no one would be on the blue side?
Here is a more accurate offering of the above picture:

Heaven
 
Hell
 
Simply......there is no line.  None at all.  God took care of that line when He sent Jesus to the cross to die for our sins.  The blood of Christ erased that line because we are all sinners, and we will be until that time when we die.   But we have a choice, one only we ourselves can make, and it is that choice that will determine whether or not we are in the blue or in the red.  And that choice is simply do we accept the fact, and believe it, that Christ died for our sins, and that by doing so He has heaped mounds and mounds of Grace upon his believers so that we can all have full Redemption.   And there is no line.....only Grace.  And all because of God's great love for us all, each and every one of us a sinner.
 
 


Monday, June 16, 2014

The line

                                B -----------------------------------------------------------------------D

Did you ever hear of the BD Line (pictured above)?  "B" represents when you are born, and "D" (no surprise) represents when you die.  The line in between is your life.  The line can be short, quite short, long, very long, or anywhere in between.  The thing about that line, however,  is that sadly so many of us look at that line in many other ways than what it's true significance really is.  We look at it as:
  • an ever moving line, which "allows" us to think "I'll get to it".  It's a tuit line.
  • or, an imaginary line.  If we don't really think of it, it somehow isn't there.  A figment line.
  • maybe, a line that doesn't really mean all that much.  When our number's up, our number's up kind of line.  An insignificant line.
  • perhaps a controlling line.  As in, there is so much to do but only so much time to do it....busy, busy line.
  • etc.
Let's change the perspective of that line for just a minute....and then check on your thinking about that line.
B.D
 

          "Boy, did this year just fly by us!" 
          "I can't believe how fast the last 20 years have gone by."
          "What the heck happened?  I was 20, and now I'm 70, and 20 seems like it was yesterday."
 
Have you had any of those thoughts?  If you are still breathing, chances are you have.  In all reality, in every sense of the word, the time span between or "B" and our "D" is nothing, as in nothing, but a dot.  That, in an of itself isn't the most important thing about the BD Line.  What is important, of the absolute utmost importance regarding that one tiny speck of time, a single dot, is what we do with our lives in that time.  God has given us all the time in the world.....but it is doled out just one day at a time.  And since we will never know just how many will be doled out to us, does not it behoove us to make that one speck of time, this day while we are still looking at the green side of the grass and breathing, the most important day of any?  And by that I mean using it for God's glory, using it to be more Christ-like in our walk?  If we do just those two things today, everything....everything else will fall into place for this one speck of time we call life.
 
The BD Line is short.  Don't get caught short thinking it is longer than it really is.



Sunday, June 15, 2014

It's different

Men, husbands, and fathers......today is Father's Day.  I don't know about you, but in all of my experience Father's Day has always been different than Mother's Day.  In fact, way different.
  • the kids seem to do more, and with more exuberance on Mother's Day than they do on Father's Day it has always seemed
  • I never heard of any father getting a dozen red roses on Father's Day...
  • or an obviously child connived and helpfully prepared breakfast in bed...
  • or even an offer to walk the dog...after all pop, it is your day !
If it sounds like I may be a bit put off by the fact that Father's Day as always not quite made the grade the way Mother's Days always seem to, not to worry...I'm not, not at all.  For, you see, I really do think this difference is just plain natural.  I doubt it will ever be any other way either.

Consider this...
  • Moms are with the kids for the 9 months before they are born, and that bond continues pretty much the same right up until school time.  Dads are out working, providing, and just don't get to put in the time mom gets to.
  • Moms are usually the ones to kiss the ouchies, and other essential things of importance to those young'uns.
  • A lot of the time it is the mom that "caves in" more often than the dad
  • face it....the bond is just different....and that's ok
Have you wondered where this is going yet?  Well, Mr. Man, Father, or Husband, take a look at yourself and how things have been in your life over the past year as you have fulfilled your role as a man, and/or a husband, and/or a father and how you have impacted those around you.  It most likely hasn't been a steady climb up.  It has probably been a climb that has given you a few rock slides, slips, and drops, but none the less I'd bet that nothing is the same as this past year.  Unless your head has been buried under the rocks, you have come out of the past year at the very least a bit better as a man, husband, and father.  When you look at your wife and kids today, look with happy eyes and a loving heart....irregardless of what has transpired during this past year.  And embrace yourself, without any expectation that anyone else will do so, for coming out of the year a step ahead of where you were last year.  And thank God for it.  And have a Happy Father's Day, even if it might be different.

Stairway to Heaven

Led Zeppelin--11/8/71--"Stairway to Heaven", a song about a lady buying a stairway to heaven.  It was kind of a strange song, but it still resonates right on up there with the big ones from that era.  I would imagine that Zeppelin could have made enough royalties from that one song alone to....well, buy a stairway to heaven.  But, that's not how we get there is it?  Him either.

 
Part of our stairway to heaven is the stepping stones we ourselves place under our feet.  Each stone represents a mistake we have made as we have tried to walk our walk, as we continue in our effort to become more Christ-like, and as we continue to strive to live as He would have us live.  Our mistakes, because of our human frailty, will occur.  But because of grace and redemption we can use those as stepping stones under our feet for an even surer footing.  We learn from our mistakes.


 
You see, we are given the path to heaven.  We don't need to buy a stairway to get there.  In fact, we can't.  But we can build the pathway ourselves.  And we do.  And along the way, God simply never gives up on us.  


Saturday, June 14, 2014

Material Things

I remember the flap that ensued when Madonna (UGH!!) came out with her song "Material Girl".  No dummy, she, as she made millions in the course of her singing career, and perhaps most assuredly had no difficulty purchasing as many material things as she wanted.  But she probably differed from most of us, in that she had the money to do so without jeopardizing her financial security.  She most likely had more money than she would ever need, so it was probably quite easy to actually become a material girl if she wanted to.

Did you ever say "I'm blessed" to someone and have them come right back and ask you...."in what way?"  I had that happen once, and it stopped me cold for a brief instant.  It seemed like such a strange question that it really caught me off guard.  I remember responding with something like "because I am free to know Christ" or something similar.  It didn't enter into my head to answer that I am blessed because of what all I have.  That is most likely due to the fact that I live a relatively spartan life, and I don't get all wrapped up in stuff.

That said, there are a lot of people who are indeed wrapped up in their stuff, their things.  Some have been bitten by the "monster of more", and others simply have the financial means to get whatever stuff or things they want.  Neither, in my opinion is very blessed only,because they have stuff and things, because they are into the material side of life.  Yet, a lot of these same folks will freely tell the world that they "are blessed".  And the sad part is, many actually believe it. 

I am of the opinion that being blessed has little or nothing to do with material things.  And I also believe that one's feeling of having been blessed is a deeply personal thing, a matter between their heart and God, because, after all, the ultimate blessing we have is the grace and redemption that came from the Cross.  And thus, I sense that feeling "blessed" for all that I have (materially) is very denigrating of the real blessing that all believers have.

"If material things are what you're talking about

when you say "I'm Blessed"......

You have no idea about blessings."

(source unknown)

Friday, June 13, 2014

Good, Better, Best

It has always kind of fascinated me whenever I have gone to Sears that they label some products as "Good", "Better" and "Best".  I figured maybe someone there in the corporate hierarchy thought maybe us peons couldn't figure out what we wanted to buy when we went shopping at the local Sears.  On the other hand, perhaps I should be gratuitous and accept that perhaps they are just trying to make decisions easier for the buying public.

The good-better-best thing applies to much more in life than buying stuff at Sears.  It's all about choices...the choices we make as we sort out, for example, a good way to resolve a conflict, a better way to do the same, or the best way to really successfully resolve that conflict.  The choice we make in that particular example, good, better, or best, will speak volumes of our character.  Ultimately the trilogy of good-better-best is intertwined in all of our decisions and choices.  At times, we allow ourselves to fall prey to a knee-jerk reaction, which will negatively impact what in that trilogy our choice or decision will result in.

I saw something a while back that reminded me of the good-better-best thing.  It was about faith, something which most of us will struggle with at times. 

Fairly poignant isn't it? 


Thursday, June 12, 2014

Folsom Prison Blues

Ya just gotta wonder if there is anyone who has never heard, or heard of, Johnny Cash and his signature song..."Folsom Prison Blues".  Released in December of 1955 (hard to believe it is that old), it rode the rocket ship to the top of hits that year and from then on it was history.  The names Johnny Cash and "Folsom Prison Blues" became synonymous.

Prisons aren't nice places, even in the best of circumstances.  I can only begin to imagine how horribly bleak the lifestyle must be for one confined to prison.  I shudder to think of the fear that must constantly rest in an inmates heart as in his mind he ponders "the system" within the system, and his chances for survival in that "system".  I can't imagine any inmate considering prison nice, comfortable, warm and fuzzy, and fully safe. 

But you know, we all....as in ALL of us, live in a prison(s) of sorts.  I bet you never thought of that.
  • aren't we at times, perhaps more than we would like, prisoners to the clock, to time?
  • I know many are prisoners to the "monster of more", or I want it now
  • some may be prisoners to a rancid relationship
  • we can certainly be held prisoner by our past baggage
  • most of us are probably held prisoner to a degree by our habits and sin to some degree
Perhaps the greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people think of them.  It is this prison that can really hold people back....
  • from being what God intended them to be,
  • from doing what is right instead of what is popular,
  • from living to their fullest potential,
  • from developing a deep and lasting relationship with Christ
  • from being real, who they were truly created to be
Logic would say that if we work to make an escape from the greatest prison, that our time spent in those other prisons we find ourselves in will be less and less, and soon we will be free......never again to sing "The Folsom Prison Blues".

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Great White Sharks

A few days ago I shared a story, "Sugar Cookies", which was used as a life lesson during the commencement exercises at the Univ. of Texas this year.  It was a part of the commencement address given by Naval Commander Wm. H. McRaven, a graduate of UT, and the Former Commander of the US  Special Operations Command.  He was a Navy Seal.  In his address he offered 10 different aspects of Seal Training (known to be one of, if not the toughest of military training programs in existence) that relate to everyday life.

Every exercise during Seal Training is purposely meant to break the men going through the training.  This is how the Seal teams are made....only the most determined, physically fit, dedicated, resilient, and toughest make it through.  The weeding out process is brutal and very thorough.  One of the exercises in the later stages of the very long training process is "swim with the sharks"....the great white sharks to be exact. 

The men are taken out to sea to an area known to be heavily populated by sharks, and have to jump ship into the water infested with these sharks.  Failure to complete the swim means you are no longer in training to be a Seal.  Here is what they are taught before jumping in with the sharks:
  • if a shark starts to circle you, you don't turn around
  • you hold your ground
  • you do not act afraid
  • and if one comes at you, you face it, ball up your fist, and punch him hard in the nose
    • they will turn and swim away
There are a lot of sharks in our world.  They come in all shapes and forms.  The single most difficult shark we have to deal with in our lives as men, husbands, and fathers is the problem of sin in our lives.  And our best way of dealing with that shark is to face it and don't back down. 

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

At the Dog Park

Monday morning was a nice morning weather wise, which meant that my friend, Michael, from church and I could finally keep a date we had made several weeks back.....to take our dogs to the Dog Park.  We met, as planned, at 9 o'clock at the park and let the dogs loose in the very large fenced in area.  When we got there there were maybe 4 or 5 other dogs and owners already there.  It was an interesting visit and I observed some things that relate to us as humans.  But first....
  • the dogs were of all different breeds, and probably temperaments (in that certain breeds historically have specific temperaments)
  • they were all different in size, shape, and color
  • they varied greatly in age
  • they also varied in physical condition...some were showing signs of old age issues
Here was what was most interesting about this collection of dogs that didn't know each other before all being let loose in the park:
  • they all got along
  • they all played well
  • they all seemed to enjoy the company of all the others
  • they all seemed quite happy and at peace in their surroundings
  • there were no tense moments to be observed
  • none were ignored by any of the other dogs
  • there was a whole lot of happy dog tail wagging going on
As Michael and I watched the interaction between all of these "strangers" it became quite clear how different they are than we are as humans.  It clearly brought to mind that what we humans automatically bring to the table with us as we meet or interact with others are such things as:
  • prejudices
  • fears
  • baggage
  • preconceptions
  • misconceptions
  • our ability to thin-slice
  • guardedness
  • insecurity
  • biases
Our conclusion was that we really are kind of messed up when it comes to dealing with others....unlike our dogs.  And we both wondered what the world might be like if only we acted like our dogs when with others.  As I have said before, there just might be something to the fact that dog is God spelled backwards.  Perhaps to ever remind us of His ways?

Monday, June 9, 2014

Briefly

8 Things to Consider to Make Life Easier
 
Make peace with your past. 
          If you don't, there is a good chance it will disturb your present.
 
What other people think of you....
          is none of your business
 
Time heals almost everything.
          Give it time.
 
No one is in charge of your happiness.
          Except you
 
Don't compare your life to others....
          and don't judge them.  You have no idea what their journey is all about.
 
Stop thinking too much.
          It's alright not to know all the answers.  They will come to you.
 
Smile
          You don't own all the problems in the world.
 
Trust God
          You are the center of His attention. 
 

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Sugar Cookie

At this year's commencement program at the University of Texas, the man who gave the commencement address was Naval Admiral William H. McRaven.  Admiral McRaven was himself a graduate of UT, who went on to become a Navy Seal and later on the Commander of the US Special Operations Command.  The theme of his address was "what starts here can change the world".  His speech was short but impacting.  In it he shared 10 common aspects of Seal training and used each one as a life lesson of how, if you change yourself, you will have an impact on the world. 

One of the points he shared was how each and every day during training the candidates had to withstand an excruciatingly thorough uniform inspection.  It was an inspection that was meant to find fault, and it did....every single day.  When a candidate failed the uniform training he was made to go jump into the nearby sea while still in uniform, then get out and completely roll around on the sandy beach.  He was then to remain in his wet sandy uniform for the balance of training that day as a lesson.  This was known as "Sugar Cookie".  All of the trainees at one time or another became sugar cookies.  It was just another exercise to break a man and cause him to want to leave the program, not unlike many other experiences during the training.

In our everyday lives as men, husbands and fathers, don't it sometimes seem as if we have been "sugar cookied"?  Aren't there times when we have done nothing but our best, and yet we've been side-swiped by something we never saw coming?  Perhaps, out of the blue, at a time we thought we were doing so well and then ....pow....our spiritual train falls off the tracks and we find ourselves just totally struggling?  Or it could be something in our relationships.  Or it could be in our finances.  Anything, just about anything.

Here was the point that Adm McRaven shared from his experience in Seal training.  No matter how well prepared you are, or how well you perform, you will still end up as a sugar cookie at some point in time.  That's the way life is.  All you can do is get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving.

This sugar cookie business isn't sugar coating anything.  Our spiritual lives will be tested, and at times tested to its limit.  All we can do is trust God and keep moving forward as we struggle to get it back on track.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

I double dog dare you

Did you ever hear the term "a double edged sword"?  Do you know what it means, what it is?  It is a metaphor for something that can actually help you or hurt you....and it is often not known which.  In the old life game of "win-win, lose-lose"  I'd rate the term as a "win-lose, lose-win" because going in you just don't know or aren't sure.

The love that we have in our hearts...our love for others, for family, for friends, for God....is no double edged sword.  Only a lack of love can hurt others......and ourselves in the process.  In our quest to be better men, husbands, and fathers it is imperative that we not look upon love as a "girlie" thing, but as an absolute necessity.  It is we who have to be ever mindful that the more love we show, demonstrate, and give, the better off our relationships will be.

With that in mind, let's consider a new term, a new reality, a totally new concept for our lives.  Let's do all we can to love with a double heart in our relationships.  It's a guaranteed win-win, and it certainly isn't a double edged sword.

I double dog dare you to try it. 

Friday, June 6, 2014

I can't believe I ate the whole thing

Almost 25 years ago Alka Seltzer came out with a new ad campaign that captured the public.  The "grabber" line of the ad was "I can't believe I ate the whole thing".  It didn't take long before much of the public would use that line in one context or another, just to be cute.  It is not surprising to still hear, every once in a while, someone make that statement after eating a particularly large meal.

As we strive to grow in our walk, the walk of life that will make us better men, husbands, and fathers, that walk we make hand in hand with the Lord we profess to love, do we not pray about that which is on our mind?  We ask God for help, forgiveness, guidance, for His continued love, etc.  We share things about ourselves, our concerns, our fears, our questions and doubts, and we long for answers and help.  And, we trust that through our prayers healing and calm will come to us.  Well, maybe.

As we pray, do we really share it all with God?  Or, do we tend to dole it out a piece at a time, like...say, pieces of pie?  A slice here, a slice there.  How is your prayer life?  Is it meaningful or is it just a gesture that you sense you must go through?  Is it an involved conversational process with God, or is it sporadic and catch as catch can?  Are there things you don't talk to Him about....like the secrets we all happen to carry, the ones tucked away in their own little box that we pull out of hiding once in a while to "look" at?

Pretend for a moment that God loves pie.  He absolutely loves it.  In fact He loves it so much that if you were to give Him a whole pie (all of you), every single slice (including your little box that only you---oh, and God, know about) that He would eat it all.  He would deal with every single slice, each and every piece.  And He will never say "I can't believe I ate the whole thing". 

There is one thing for sure about our God.  He will never be reaching for the Alka Seltzer.  He loves us that much.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

I've got a secret

Between 1952 and 1967 there was a very popular series on TV called I've Go a Secret.  It was hosted by Garry Moore, and the panel was made up of various celebrities from that era.  The object of the show was that the panel was to ask questions of the guest and then determine what his secret was.  And yes, I watched the show...first on our little screen black and white TV and later on in (gasp) real color.  Now I'm through aging myself.  (Yes, you can find episodes on the web....thank you).

While the original TV show was entertaining, we all play the same game in our real life's....I've got a secret.  Whether we are not yet believers, on the fence, committed to following Christ, or full blown spiritual warriors, chances are that anyone in either of those groups has a secret that no one, as in no one, knows about.  And their secret(s) will be one of a sinful nature, something about them that they know isn't pleasing to God.....such as:
  • an anger problem
  • some addiction (perhaps gambling, drugs/alcohol, sex, etc)
  • a character defect
  • pride or ego issues
  • gossip, backstabbing
  • and more
Some of our secrets are, at times, visible to others.  Some are not.  All are those "little" things about us that we absolutely know exist, that we keep tucked away in a little box away in a corner of our lives.  Most often, we feel that we may have them under control.  More often than not, however, they still have great control over us....and we have trouble letting them go, turning them over the Jesus, and embarking on the difficult journey to rid ourselves of those boxes.

You'll notice that I've refrained from calling those secrets, the ones we keep compartmentalized in their own little boxes, our "dirty little secrets"....a phrase we hear every once in a while (particularly as gossip fodder).  The use of the word "dirty" raises an unnecessary stigma, and, in my opinion, drives the secret deeper underground, and thus makes freeing ourselves of our secrets much more difficult.

If we are ever going to be whole, fully free, and completely transparent, it is imperative that we deal with I've got a secret.  We have to take any steps available to us to free ourselves of the weight we carry by hanging onto that box.  We can't fully walk the walk while we still carry around that little box inside of us....and we will never fully walk the walk as long as we continue to "justify" carrying it around.  Nor will we ever be completely free as long as we continue to listen to those words "it's ok, nobody knows", "no one is going to see you", "just one more time", "it's no big deal", etc.

Garry Moore's show I've Got a Secret was surely more wholesome and fun than my I've got a secret.  What about you?

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Going to the beach

 
Making a difference.  Isn't that something that we all feel good about...knowing not only that we want to make a difference, but in actually trying to do so?  Sometimes when we start thinking about it, it all may start to seem fruitless....like the old man's perspective....miles of beach, millions of starfish, a seemingly impossible task.  But the little girls response really captured the essence of making a difference....it is a one by one thing, even if there is logically too much to do when looking at the big picture. 
 
As we each walk our walk of life, on that long, narrow dirt road, aren't we as Christians to do all that we can to make a difference in the lives of others?  Yes, the odds are improbable, and the task seemingly impossible.  But if we keep it ever in our minds that the job of making a difference is a person to person, one life at a time adventure we are charged with, it makes life a bit of a dance doesn't it?  We dance with one person at a time, and we make a difference one life at a time...simple as that.  So what's to stop you from considering the world as your beach, and make a differnce to one starfish (person) at a time so that they too will be given a new life...just as all of God's children have?

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Are you going somewhere.....or stopping?

We hear the terms "building bridges" and "building barriers" every once in a while.  They are legitimate terms.  They are often heard in the context of relationships.  For sure we hear them used when the topic is about race relations, and rightly so.  On an individual basis, for a multitude of reasons, most folks are either building bridges or erecting barriers in terms of their own personal take of matter of acceptance of those different (in any way) from ourselves.

In the relationships we have as men, husbands, and fathers don't we fall prey to either building bridges or barriers in those relationships?  I would guess that if a study were done (and perhaps there have been such), that--truth be told--we would find:
  1. that it is far easier to put up barriers in relationships than it is to build bridges
  2. that many relationships suffer unnecessarily because of those barriers
  3. that the relationships involved can be with our spouses and our children
  4. and that the problem need not be terminal to the relationship.
Volumes have been written about how to build bridges in relationships, as well as the ways we build barriers in relationships.  For the sake of brevity and getting right to the point, I would offer that:
  • Bridge builders are true Christ followers who place more value on others than on themselves.
    • while they may fail at times, they are dedicated to creating an atmosphere of trust and love in their relationships
    • they will sincerely apologize when they find they have wronged another
    • they are quick to forgive others
    • they will talk openly and freely with those with whom they are in relationship (they will be transparent)
    • they will be dependable and utterly honest
  • Barrier builders place more emphasis on themselves than others
    • while they may seem sincere (to others) in their relationships, what may be going on within the home may be quite different than what is seen from the outside
    • their worldview is more self centered
    • apologies are difficult, as is forgiveness
    • they tend to be guarded in what they say and to whom they say it
When we drive, we find:

Bridges are built to last.  They are strong, and well planned.  They can withstand almost all circumstances.  They are built for the purpose of on-going forward movement.  Barriers, however, are easily erected and are put up to stop traffic or re-direct it.  Barriers create delays, anxiety, and cause disruption in normal movement.

How are you doing in your personal relationships? Are you going somewhere (building bridges) or are you stopping (building barriers)?



Monday, June 2, 2014

The Right Man

A young man once asked his father, "Father, how will I ever find the right woman?"  His father replied, "Forget finding the right woman....focus on being the right man."  That is some pretty wise advice is it not?  To those single ones out there who may have thought the same question as the son above asked, it's a pretty normal thought.  But the value and wisdom of the fathers advice is huge.  At any stage of life, in any situation, if we focus on our walk in Christ, continue our efforts to be better men in the face of any difficulties, God will take care of us and our needs.

The question above naturally begs the question...what is the right man?  Let's include not just the single guys in that question, but all of us of any age, marital state, or development of spiritual growth.  The right man:
  • is one who wants to grow more Christ-like...each and every day
  • is one who knows he has broken areas and weaknesses, yet continues to work on them
  • is one who values life and people, and will think of others before himself
  • is one who holds his ego in check
  • is one who embraces responsibility in all areas of his life
  • is one who sees the good in others and won't dwell on the faults of others
  • is one who will share...of himself and what he has
  • is one who trusts his God
  • and more
Whether single or married, it is these kinds of qualities that make men the kind of men that the women in their lives will respect and love and honor.  Relationships with qualities like those above as the cornerstones will withstand the pressures and surprises of everyday life.  They are the kind of qualities that are the glue that hold the pieces together when the storms come.....and storms always come. 

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Who needs a flashlight?

What was it, or what is it, about the one person you most respect and admire?  What quality about them causes you to admire and respect them like you do?  Do you perhaps, at times, wish you could be like that person?

Of all the people in my past and present life that I have held in high admiration, each and every one of them had one common characteristic.  They didn't toot their own horn.  In other words, they were humble, quiet and unassuming, warm and kind, and quite transparent about themselves.  They were also very open people with a deep sense of compassion about others.  Often were the times I wished I could be like those people.

All of us want to be noticed.  All of us want to be well thought of.  And isn't it true that we have this little thing inside us that sometimes demands that we be the center of attention every once in a while?  Going back to the questions first asked above, isn't it safe to say the the ones we tend to most respect and admire very, very seldom--if ever--act like they are the center of attention or need to be?

If the power goes out, or if there is an emergency at night, you need a flashlight handy to be able to see.  In our dealings with others, who needs a flashlight?  If you yearn to be like those you most admire and respect, let your own light shine....the one without the off and on switch.  Just be the you you were made to be, the one you want to be, and be comfortable in you skin doing so.