Where's your heart?

 

Every once in a while you'll hear some person talking about another and he'll say something like "he wears his heart on his sleeves".  I heard that more than once about Coach Mike Ditka.  He typified it, in that what you saw was what you got with Ditka.  He let his emotions, his feelings, his temper, and himself be seen, just as he really was.  You didn't get a run-around from the Coach.  It was what it was without any sugarcoating.

 

There's a lot of folks these days who call themselves Christians, and a lot of folks who are churched folks who really don't fool a lot of people.  Oh, they're talking the talk, but they aren't really walking the walk....and the impression that leaves on folks who may be on the verge of changing their lifestyles is not a good one.  Because, in many cases they see phony, and it turns them off.  There is a huge difference between being broken and owning it (many, many Christians do) and pretending that you're all fixed because you got Jesus (and subsequently hiding mistakes, faults, etc).

 

As average Christian men, our talk (especially when unsolicited or done for show) makes us come off as used car salesmen to those around us.  Conversely, it is our walk which can carry a true message to those around us.  If they see us handle a stressful situation with calm and grace, that gets their attention because perhaps they are seeing a different way of reacting to a stressful situation.  That is but one small example.  There are thousands of other examples.

 

The point is, if we have been working on our hearts, it's going to show, and especially if we wear those hearts on our sleeves.  That becomes easier and easier the more we know and grow...and that is the whole point of learning and growing to be a better Christian man.  If you consider that the light of Jesus shines through your heart, and come to believe that, then you will naturally start to let your heart do the talking instead of your mouth.  The mouth will simply be a conduit for what your heart says.  And when that takes place, you will be wearing your heart on your sleeve for all to see.  How very fortunate that will be for that unsaved co-worker, your friend who is riding the fence, your kids and family and relatives....and the list goes on.

 

Where's your heart?  Still inside or on your sleeve?

 

 

 

 

 



A bad dude

The apostle Paul was one bad dude in his life prior to coming to Christ.  He was a murderer, plain and simple.  He was not a nice man, and I would guess that anyone who knew him back in the day most likely would have shared that Paul exhibited all of the qualities of one without a conscience...at all.  He was a documented bad dude.

We are first introduced to Paul when he was Saul of Tarsus. He was standing over the first Christian martyr Stephen looking on as Stephen was stoned to death. From this gruesome introduction to the completion of his missionary journeys Paul has become a champion and hero in the Christian faith.
Before becoming the great missionary evangelist, Paul was known as Saul the persecutor of the Christian church. As a devout Jew Saul sought to quiet the quickly growing movement of men and women who followed Jesus Christ. He had permission from the High Priest to persecute those found worshiping the Lord.  (from:  What Christians want to know)

Here's the kicker.  He accepted Christ and became one of the apostles.  Does that not seem a bit far out?  He was chosen by Jesus to carry the message, and he did it in an extraordinary and flourishing manner.  And the thing I especially like about Paul is the honesty in his writings.  He states in Romans 7: 15 "I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do, I don't do, but what I hate, I do." 

I don't know about you, but I have made that statement about myself many, many times.  And I get frustrated by the fact that in my brokenness I keep going back to so many things that I have "sworn off " of.  At those times I try to remember Paul.  A bad dude who became an apostle. A dude, who while in his apostleship was keenly aware of his own brokenness.  A bad dude who has such a positive effect on so many lives, even while yet struggling with his own brokenness.  I don't know about you, but I find an enormous amount of inspiration there.

Will you or I ever become "Pauls"?  I'd have to say we already are.  As men, husbands, and fathers who continue to struggle with our own brokenness and sin, and yet still aspire to do all that is within us become stronger followers of Christ, we are no more, nor any less a man, than Paul was.  We're not bad dudes, we're Pauls.  And we have all the opportunity in the world to share our "Paulness" with our world as Paul did in his.

I find that exhilarating don't you?   Go ahead.....be a Paul.

My Son

My Dear Son:

I know exactly how hard you struggle at times.  I know the pain you feel sometimes as you go about your daily business of life.  I know of your victories, and I know of your defeats.  I know how you beat yourself up when you have those defeats.  I know how you struggle with temptations and sometimes yield to them, just as I know of those times that you catch yourself and say no.  I know how those mind games you play on yourself can sometimes lead you where you don't want to be.  I know about that soft area in your heart, the one that gets to you when you see children hurt or abused, or when you realize with deep sadness that a friend has passed without knowing or accepting Christ.  I know the frustration and anger you feel towards yourself when you work so hard to be a better man, husband, and father, only to "blow it" at times. 

My son, I love you for what you are and what you will be.  I love that you "get it" and are determined to become a better man.  You will be.  You are building character, and strength each day.  You will have set backs and failures, but you will also have huge successes.  It's a part of this process called life, and it is a part of the life long lesson of making choices...both good and bad...and learning from them.  I love that you get frustrated and angry, just as I love that you struggle.  I love your heart because with each bit of increase of softness, there is a lessening of hardness in it. 

Your life is exactly as I planned it son.  You are on track.  You are making progress.  You are overcoming.  You are precious my son, and I will never stop loving you, nor will I ever leave you.  I am always here for you and I won't abandon you.  You are mine son.

God

Building it

Years ago I got a hair brained idea to build my own house.  I had previously done a considerable amount of both brickwork and cement work, and a bit of carpentry, so I suppose I felt that made me pretty qualified to build a house.  It helped that I was young, energetic, and had a huge "I can do it" attitude.  I found I had to have a lot of help, because there was a LOT I didn't know.  All that said, it was:

• a huge undertaking
• a slow process (Rome didn't get built in a day)
• a real learning experience
• a job that took a lot of patience
• a task that had built in pit-falls
• an undertaking not without pain at times
• a process in which I made a lot of mistakes along the way
• a situation that therefore required more than its share of do-overs

In the end, despite all of the trying times, it was well worth it.  When completed, the self-satisfaction meter was red-lined and the payoff was beyond my wildest expectations.  I'm proud to say that the house still stands today (no, we don't live in it), and is still a beautiful house.

By the time we reach a time in our lives where we become cognitive of the need to make changes in our lives, to become followers of Christ, we run into a situation similar to that of building a house.  However, in this case we are building a new life....but all of the above that applied to my building a house apply in every measure.  And more.  Just as in building a new house, when we are building a new life (a lifelong process) we have to keep focused on the objective and understand that along the way we will run into things that set us back.  We will become targets of the evil one...a huge stumbling block if we allow it to be.  We have to stay keenly aware of that.  We will get tired of the labor, and we will become disillusioned in ourselves as we press forward.  We just have to keep focused on the end reward for our efforts.....not just a new life, but a new home....heaven.

Maybe you haven't built a new house here on earth.  Hopefully you are building a new life for your forever home.  The one in Heaven.  Are you?

What's in the way?

We talk about being more Christ-like.  Many try it, and many live it.  Many are working at it.  Some get dejected because they feel they are falling so short in their attempt to do so.  Some, unfortunately, just don't "get it".  Some feel that they are successful at it, and some feel very insecure in their efforts.  I think that deep down, in our heart of hearts, we all have a yearning to be better than we are right now in the present.  I'm beginning to think that that is part of our human instinct...to not be satisfied with ourselves and how we do life all of the time. 

Jesus, both through example (when he was here on earth) and through the Word, showed time and time again four very basic and easy to follow life principles that any  of us can easily incorporate within our tool box.  And by using those tools we are all but guaranteed a much more Christ-like way of living.  They are:

Learn to love without condition

Talk without bad intention

Give without any reason

and, most importantly...

Care for people without any expectation.

 

Each, in it's own way, is not only Christ-like, but deeply satisfying, and infectious....the more we do it the more we want to do it.

 

Have you tried it?  Have you tried to live your life daily with those 4 things in mind?  If not, what's holding you back?

 

 

 



Red horns, really ?

Some cartoon caricatures portray the devil as coming dressed in a red cape, and he has pointy horns.  Yes?  I would guess that we have all seen that at least once in our lifetimes.  I suppose that is an effort to put some definition to him.  Sadly, I think it is a "humorous" effort to diminish the insidiousness of the beast that works within us all.

You see, satan comes at us in a variety of ways.  He knows our weaknesses and our tendencies.   He knows our instincts as flawed and broken humans, and he pounces on them with a flourish.  He knows the limits of our resolve, and he will play with that like a Stradivarius violinist playing a masterpiece.  You see....he wants us, and will do anything to get us.  His fight for us will never end, even to our dying day.

There's an old saying..."the enemy you know is better than the enemy you don't know".  Fortunately, Christians know at least a little about satan, and therefor we also know a bit about the havoc he can wreak in our lives and are able to go about our lives fighting against him.  One major tool in our "Growing to be more like Christ" tool box is prayer.  It is essential that we all pray for wisdom and discernment constantly to counteract those thoughts that satan loves to place in our minds. 

Another tool is the recognition that Christ died for our sins.  Our struggles against satan will be never ending, and there will be times he will succeed within each of us.  Those are but temporary setbacks, because we are made secure by the cross.



Why be satisfied with the old one?

Every one of us has at least one thing in common.  Every. Single. One !!  Some are ok with theirs, others not so ok.  Some can live with it, some just want to forget it.  Some can't let theirs go, others try, and some succeed at it.  It defines some, and to others it is a challenge.  I'm talking about the past each of us has.  It is a part of us, whether we like it or not.  It is what we learn from it and the steps we take moving forward that prove our character.

Those that know me well know my past.  One word sums it up.  Ugly...just pure unadulterated ugly.  But it doesn't rule me, nor consume me, nor own me...because it is my life's mission to do that which we should all do...build another past each and every day moving forward.

Building a new past is one of the most important and rewarding things we can do as individuals.  It is a lifelong process.  It is not an event.  Our pasts, as we know them, took years to become defined, and our new past, as we wish to know it will likewise take years to define us.  Men of character build new pasts because they have realized that they don't wish to be defined by their old past.  They have also found that in doing so they also gravitate strongly toward being more Christ-like on a day by day basis (again...process, not event).

Who benefits from building a new past?  Everyone.  You, your family, your friends, and anyone who comes in contact with you.

Are you building a new past?  If not, what is holding you back?  Why be satisfied with the old one?  Our past is nothing but memories in our mind and some are obstacles that we massage and stroke for a number of reasons.  Massaging and stroking, however, take time and effort that can just as easily be used for building that new past.

Are you being held back by your old past?

A street corner for everyone

When I was a kid, one of the things we did was almost gospel.  We went out and hung at the street corner under the street light until ma or pa called us in for bed.  It was usually just us guys.  Maybe the girls had their own corner somewhere.  Our corner was a place where we caught up on all the daily happenings, the latest in sports, the who did what to who, just good yak-yak.  All in all it was a pretty comfortable place to be on any given evening.  We were with friends who cared about each other, who would listen to each other, and even occasionally offer some good advice.  What was said on the corner stayed at the corner as well.

That was all years ago.  I don't see too many kids just hanging out at the corner anymore.  Things just change over time it seems.  I got to thinking about that a while back.  The street corner, that is.  And I came to a conclusion.....there's a street corner for everyone.  Everywhere.  All the time.  And that street corner is not all that dissimilar from the one I hung at when I was a kid.

For those that pray once in a while, or on a regular basis, they are very familiar with that street corner.  It's at the intersection of Kneel & Talk.  It's called prayer.  There's not a bunch of kids on that corner....just you and God.  But you do the same thing there that you did on the corner when you were a kid:

• you hang out and talk
• you share your day with Him, the good, the bad, and the ugly
• you ask Him for His help
• you are open and honest with Him
• you know He listens and hears you
• and you feel good when you leave the corner

The neat thing about this street corner is that it is always easy to get to (you just have to make the choice to go).  It's right there wherever you are, and whenever you want to be there.  And you will never need your GPS to find it.

SuperStore

While it's not a brick and mortar building, this ageless SuperStore is, nonetheless, worldwide.  Many folks recognize it, many don't.  That said, every human being has been to the store....every one, living and dead, have been there.  Incredibly, it is not a chain....even though it is universal.  And, by the way, it is the oldest SuperStore ever.  It is timeless, and has had only one competitor in all of it's existence.  The single biggest items handled at this Superstore are things that appeal to our wants for pleasure.  Perhaps I should share the name of this store with you.  It is called Satans.

 

 

The founder of the store got his start from a lowly apple of all things, and has grown exponentially ever since.

 

As mentioned above, he has only one competitor, albeit a very, very powerful one.  Jesus.  Jesus offers us pleasure far beyond the satisfaction any of us can get from the sinful pleasures we can so easily obtain at the SuperStore. 

 

Maybe it's time to think about giving Satans the pink slip.

 







Show, not tell. Not show and tell.

 

 

I don't know anything about Cory Booker, nor do I know the circumstances under which this quote came about.  I do know it speaks volumes about life as a Christian.....and is in direct opposition to the way some "Christians" seem to live.  To me it says simply..."Show, not tell.  Not show and tell" as we go through our lives as Christians.  Our actions are the best words we can offer anyone.

Man of many faces

Are you a man of many faces?  Many men are to one degree or another.  Here's an impromptu list of the faces we put on from time to time:

 

 

the Daddy Face when with our children

the Husband Face we share with our wives

the Loyal Interested Employee Face we wear when the boss is around

the Fun Face we wear when with our buddies

the Good Neighbor Face we put on when helping out neighbors

the Good Friend Face we wear as we interact with friends

the Ugly Face we wear when we are angry or hurt

and, oh yes, the I'm a Good Christian Face we wear when around church or church friends

 

lastly, there is The Real Face, the real face that you see when you look in the mirror.

 



The Real Face, that one you see looking back at you when you are shaving in the morning....that's the one that "tells" you how real you are.  That's the one that can remind you about all of those other phony faces....if you'll listen.  That face is the one God knows and loves.  That face is the one everyone you come in contact with wishes to see and know and love.  That face is THE most important face you have.

 

Sometimes it's kind of hard to have just one face isn't it?  Truth is, most others really can tell which one is The Real Face....and want that face.....even when you're wearing one of the others in your bag of tricks.  Especially those closest to us, like the wives and kids.  They just want The Real Face...the real you.

 

 

thanks Raphael



What a week !

Can you imagine a week of your life without God in it with you?  I sure can.  Been there, and done that.  Maybe you too.  It sure doesn't hurt to look back and remember once in a while.....so here's a reminder:

 

 

Amen?



A picture is worth a thousand words

 

Sometimes it seems that way doesn't it?  And who is to blame?  All of us, to one degree or another.  What can you and I do to turn this around?  In what small ways?  Daily, as we go about our walk of life.  Are we contributing to what the picture says, or are we working to put the "B" back in the picture?





Dark tunnels

When the train you are riding on goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, do you throw away the ticket and jump off?  Of course not.  You continue to do whatever you are doing at the moment and trust the engineer.

Tunnels, for the most part, are generally not real lengthy.  One major exception would be the Chunnel that connects England and France.  As a kid I always like it when we were on a trip and got to go through tunnels.  For some reason I always thought that was kind of neat, although I have to admit I always wished we could go around whatever mountains the tunnels went through instead of through them.

Life is kind of like that isn't it?  We experience dark tunnels every once in a while.  Stuff happens to us or around us.  Stuff we didn't and don't expect.  Sometimes it's as if we are in a dark tunnel with no way out.  But there is.  Just as you trust the engineer of the train, we have the option to trust God....to make Him the Engineer of our lives.  He will always bring the light at the end of our tunnel.

It's so easy

I wonder how much time we spend "thin slicing"?  And, why we do it?  So, you say....what's "thin slicing"?  It's a nice term for:

•  being judgmental,  
• drawing conclusions about someone (often erroneous) based on incomplete information
• putting someone down in our thinking
• condemning others who are not like us
• making ourselves feel superior

It's one of those not so little games we allow our minds to play.  And many times it is a game in which we are the only participants (other than the one(s) being "thin sliced").  It's not a mentally, emotionally, or spiritually healthy exercise for us to be involved in.....and yet we do it.  When we are playing that mind game we are not directly hurting the other person....after all, they don't know we are doing it.  Or do they?  We are really hurting ourselves.  We are feeding our pride, and patting our ego on the back when we do it.  And that robs us of our ability to be real because it is feeding a false illusion we have of ourselves.

Why do we do it?  One.....because it is so easy.  Two....because we are flawed.  We strive to be more Christ like, do we not?  And yet, we "thin slice".  Are there any examples in the Word of Jesus "thin slicing" during His time on earth?  Hardly.  And yet we, while striving to be more Christ like, find ourselves doing it. 

Recognizing that we are doing it as we go about our business each day is a great start in the battle (yes, battle) to overcome our propensity to "thin slice".  To recognize it is to acknowledge that there is something about us that needs fixing...a huge step forward.  And when we recognize it for what it is we are then afforded a chance to do a bit of self talk to remind ourselves that this just isn't good, healthy thinking.  This can then lead us to sharing this with God in our prayers, which should also include asking for forgiveness as well as asking for help in overcoming this shortcoming we have.  It may not leave us right away, but it will surely diminish over time.  Progress over perfection !

If it is so easy to "thin slice", does not it also seem easy, and simple, to overcome it....and in doing so becoming a much more real person, a more transparent person?

Felt any tugs lately?

One of the key elements in our quest to be better men, husbands, and fathers is our ability to, in essence, become change agents.  We utilize one of the greatest gifts from God to every man to do that.  That gift is choice.  The choices we willingly and knowingly make will bring either positive change, or change which isn't so good.  It's really pretty simple isn't it?  The choices we make pretty much drive the changes we make in ourselves.

Have you ever thought "I really don't like....

• how I react when confronted"
• how I continually come back to this bad habit"
• how I routinely think of folks in certain socio-economic-cultural classes"
• how easily I yield to my "secret" temptation(s)"
• how I feel about myself"
• how I doubt God's love for me sometimes"
• and more?

Chances are, if you are thinking these things, it is your heart which is really yearning for positive change.  And if that is true, then you are halfway on your way to making the choices to bring about that change within you.  It is the Holy Spirit working in your heart telling you to "go ahead".  All you have to do is listen to that leading, and then make the necessary choices.

Once you have made the choice(s) for positive change, all that is left is to make the decision to follow through, and you are on the way.  Sometimes those changes will not come overnight.  They may be painfully slow.  There may be times when you doubt your ability to stick with it.  There could well be times when you "fall off the tracks".  One thing is absolutely certain throughout the whole process:

When it's from the heart, it's from God-through the Holy Spirit.  You felt something and it was His nudging.  And when He's nudged you it for a noble purpose and He absolutely will give you the strength and determination to see it through. 

When we feel those tugs on our hearts, those ones that will lead us to change, allow us to become better men, husbands, and fathers, the battle within us is halfway over because we have taken the most important first step....we have felt the need to change something(s) about us, and in doing so have identified some shortcomings we don't like about ourselves.  This is the beauty of knowing, and being ok with, the fact that we all have brokenness within. 

Have you felt any tugs lately?

That door just won't close

Doors.  No, not the popular band of long ago.  Doors as in houses, cars, buildings, garages, offices, stores, etc.  They all have doors.  Those doors open and close, and a good percentage of them can be locked.  Of all the doors you have gone through in your life, have you ever encountered any you couldn't close.....absolutely could not close no matter what you did to try to close it?  Chances are you never ran into the situation like that.  They may be difficult at times, but they are made to close....and given the right effort (or perhaps persuasion!) they will close.

The surprising thing is that actually we all do have a door that just won't close.....no matter what we do to try to close it.  It will not close.  Let me explain.  Everyone has a mind.  Envision your mind as your own personal library room.  A room where there is a huge amount of information stored....old and new.  Our own personal library rooms have just two doors, and each is one way.  One is for new information coming in, the other is for old or new information going out.  Our in door we can (and do sometimes) shut it, preventing anything new from coming in.  However, we can never shut the out door to keep stuff from coming out.....stuff like thoughts.  And there is no librarian there to check out anything coming out, so we just never know what is going to come waltzing out that door that we just can't close.

That is an oversimplified example of our mind.  The gist of it is....we more or less are "in charge" of what gets into our mind in the first place.  After all, stuff isn't born there is it?  It gets there because we open the door for it to get in there.  Our brains are like computers these days.  There is no card catalog in our brains to help keep track of the stuff there.  It just goes right to the main drive, and there it lies.  That all sounds good and dandy.....except !!!.....

 We can't shut, or keep shut, the exit door of the mind, and therefore we will always be surprised by what does and what can come out of our minds.  It's amazing some of the stuff I think of....stuff that I have no business thinking.  I mean, sometimes I'm sure there is an alien in my head because the thoughts are so far out.  It used to bother me.  I would get mad at myself and very down on myself for thinking some of the stuff I thought.  Have you been there and done that?

The bottom line of all the above balderdash is that we are humans of varied degrees of brokenness, and that will not change.  We will make progress, but we will never reach perfection.  Therefore, we will always have thoughts, some of which will be horrible, nasty, violent, you name it,  that we have absolutely no control over....they will just jump right out.  So what to do? 

• recognize them for what they are....bad thoughts from a human mind
• obviously, don't act on them (duh !)
• share them with God in prayer
• know that just because you have those thoughts does no make you a bad person
• don't bother trying to close that door....it just won't close
• understand the source of those thoughts....God would not direct those thoughts
• trust that as you strengthen your walk in Christ, your "thought life" will change
• above all, realize that God loves each of us deeply, brokenness and all !

A loser? Hardly !

Do you ever get upset at yourself........

• when you lose it?
• when you catch yourself saying things best left unsaid?
• when overtaken by uncontrolled anger?
• as you think that inside you just aren't quite right?
• when you start to doubt God's love for you?
• when you think of your past baggage?
• etc, etc, etc....you get the picture.

Why?

 

It takes more energy to get upset at yourself than it does to just stop for a minute and pray....and to thank Him for his forgiveness, grace, and mercy.  After all, He is fully aware of all that we are about...our brokenness, our shortcomings, our faults.  Let His mercy remind you just how much He loves you....in spite of all that you are.

 





The cup.

An age old question that gets asked every once in a while is this:  "To you, is the cup half empty or half full?"  Supposedly, depending on which way one were to answer, one could tell if the responder was an optimist (half full) or a pessimist (half empty).  I think all of us, at one time or the other...depending on what was going on in our life, have answered that question both ways.  In good times, happy times, content times we would say "half full".  In tough times, questionable times, bleak times we would say "half empty".

When talking about optimists and pessimists what we're really talking about is whether their general outlook on life itself is positive or negative.  I would guess that we've all known some on both sides.  Positive folks are enjoyable to be around.  They tend to be happier and more comfortable with themselves.  Negativers tend to be down, on themselves and everything around them, and often seem just plain unhappy.

Both optimists and pessimists tend to share an influence (as if by osmosis) with those around them.  Optimists tend to bring others up, while pessimists tend to bring others down.  Here is a truism that applies:

There is a cup, The Cup, that is never half full nor half empty.  It is always full.  It is the cup that serves to remind us of just how full (and overflowing) our cup really is...All.The.Time !  24/7/365 !  It is the communion cup, that cup which represents the blood of Jesus, the One who gave His life that we might have a life.....a good positive life no matter our circumstances. 

Perhaps when we are asked if our cup is half full or half empty we should, without hesitation, respond...."mine is completely overflowing"....with unconditional love and forgiveness.  What a great example for our kids and those around us, eh?



Remembrance

9/11 of each year, since 2001, is a day of remembrance.  On that day in 2011 thousands of people died when the World Trade Center in NYC was struck by 2 airliners which had been hijacked by terrorists.  Of those thousands, 441 were first responders....firemen and policemen (and one dog) who kissed their families goodbye one last time as they went to work for their respective shifts, never realizing that that would be the last time.  They died doing their jobs....helping others.  They ran toward the imminent danger while civilians fortunate enough to make it out were running from that same danger.  This is in remembrance of those souls.

 

None of us ever knows if the kiss goodbye we just gave our wives and families will be the last one.  We never know if the words we have just spoken to them will be the last that they hear.  And we never know if what we just did or thought will be our last action or thought.

 

How Christ like are our last words spoken, our last actions taken, or our last thoughts thought as we go through each day?

I've got a job !

It's as simple as 1-2-3.  Yet, how much time do we all spend trying to do the Holy Spirit's job and God's job?  And how much time and effort do we really put into just trying to do our job?  And how much of a better place would it be if all we did was try to do our job?



Prison

Every once in a while we'll read a report in the paper, or see a clip on the news, about the prison population across the country.  It never seems to decrease.  In fact, it seems that it is always increasing.  Those in prison are there because they have gone through the court process because of a crime they committed, were found guilty, and were sentenced to a term in prison.  Alcatraz was a well known prison of yesteryear, just as Leavenworth is today a well known prison.

There are many, all around us, every day, who are also in prison.  Those prisons carry names also.  Some of the names of those prisons are:

• hopelessness
• despair
• pain
• addiction
• emotional upheaval
• relational upheaval
• spiritual upheaval

The bars on those prisons often feel just as real as the bars of Alcatraz.  The ability to escape those prisons are no less real to the folks in them than those who are in Leavenworth.  At Leavenworth,  the key to getting out is in the hands of the guards.  But who holds the keys to release those about us who are incarcerated in their own prisons?  We all do.  Oftentimes it is because of the time we take, the small things we may say, the stories we share, the love we show, the empathy we have, and our willingness to care that those folks start to see a way out of their own prison.

 

How open are you to sharing your testimony?



What a physique !

I remember going to the beach on the Atlantic coast when I was a kid.  Living in central Florida at the time it was almost a natural thing to do.  Later on, when in high school, we'd go for the parties we could have there.  Mom and dad wouldn't be around, just us guys, so we always managed to have a cooler full of our preferred adult libations.  The guys I hung out with were like me...just average Joes.  I remember distinctly how often we would see what may have been the next Charles Atlas's strutting their tanned and toned bodies up and down the beach.  For a bunch of sun fried almost skinny punks we'd see those guys and in awe someone would almost invariably say, perhaps with just a tinge of jealousy,  "what a physique"!  Nowadays I've got a body like that.....except the muscle mass is all located in the wrong spot....right around my middle.

Those carefree times were then, and now is now.  Now we carry on our daily lives differently.  We have families or relationships, we have jobs, we have bills, we have a plethora of things we need to think of, be concerned about, and yes, some to worry about.  Sometimes just the sheer weight of what we carry in our hearts and minds becomes pretty heavy....it all weighs us down.  And it physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually wears us out.  Often we carry loads that are far greater than we can handle.  If you're there, or have been, what do you do?

There is one guy who we often fail to see has the kind of physique that would cause us to cry out "what a physique" just as we did when we were but scrawny kids.  He's got astronomically huge shoulders.  His name is God.  He can pull more weight than any of us realize....He does it every day, for everyone, everywhere.  And He wants to pull your weight, my weight.  He wants to carry our cares on his shoulders.  Not to show us how strong He is.  Not to cause us to exclaim "what a physique", but simply because He loves us so much.  But......if you don't share those weights with Him through prayer, how's He going to carry them?

God is undeniably better built than Charles Atlas.  Let Him carry your weight !

Clouds

I saw a picture the other day of a cloud.  It looked amazing.  It was uncannily a likeness of Jesus standing....a side view.  I can remember, as a child, looking at clouds to find one that looked like something other than a cloud.  I guess most of us have.

Speaking of clouds, how about the cloudy judgment we sometimes use when making decisions?  Or perhaps in what we say, or how we say it?  Maybe even our deepest thoughts?  And how about when sin enters the equation of our lives and tries to cloud the good we all have within us?  When any of the above happens, we are very open to do really stupid things, make very stupid comments, or otherwise show a level of dumbness we really wish wasn't there. 

Acceptance of our individual brokenness is an absolute must if we are ever going to fully feel the love that God has for each of us.  Acceptance of the fact that our brokenness will play a part in our doing some really stupid things every once in a while is necessary for us to truly know ourselves....just as God fully knows us.  Knowing that I can act like an idiot on occasion is a good reminder of my own brokenness, and thus a great impetus to strengthen my walk with Christ.  Do you really know your brokenness?  See, the thing is, God deeply loves us...even with our brokenness.  We just have to trust that He will help us each and every day to show it less and less.

Sometimes I think even the clouds must see mine.



"Yeah, but....."

"Yeah, buts" are a big part of our lives.  Don't we normally "yeah, but" it when we get into a situation that might interfere with our comfort zone, our plans, or our routines?  Aren't we likely to throw a "yeah, but" into the conversation when we are trying to get uninvolved in someone else's suggestion or plan of action?  Why do I do it?  Why do you do it?

I think, in part, we "yeah, but" situations because we perhaps feel as if we are not completely in charge, in control.  Obviously, if the shared thought or idea is completely whacko, a good solid "yeah, but" is called for.  Like, let's go jump in front of that speeding car and see if he can stop.  "Yeah, but" if he can't stop we could get killed.  That makes complete sense.  But this isn't about those obviously erratic and erroneous situations.  It's about everyday, common, and ordinary things:

• Like going out of the way to help someone in obvious need....even when we don't want to
• like sensing, even before you know for certain, that you can do something for someone else to cheer them up, console them, minister to them, etc...when they most need it
• like going way out of your comfort zone to do some radical thing that will help someone see that God loves all of us
• and there are many, many more situations

Sometimes when situations come our way that we may be tempted to "yeah, but" they are leadings....thoughts put in our minds or through the mouths of others from God.  They aren't a test.  They are real.  He knows you have love and compassion within you, and that it can be used to help others.  Leadings are very real.  Can you really say "yeah, but" to God?



Praying blood

True story.  It started out as a pleasant evening, with plans to do the cooking outside on the grill.  A simple meal made nice by nice weather and calm.  Until.  Until he made a simple passing comment about a news clip that had just showed on the TV as he walked past it.  A comment made with no sarcasm, no inflections, no swearing, no accusations of any kind, no nothing....just a comment.  It should have been the end of it as it was, in no way, directed at her or her beliefs.  It was simply about how silly it seemed that folks who put pickles on hamburgers...fast food workers....were striking to gain attention to their (and the SEIU) quest to get $15.00 an hour for what is mostly considered an entry level job.  That was it.

It apparently struck a nerve.  A raw one, because what ensued was just pure ugly.  She took off like a Harley on nitro....verbally.  It was loud, profane, accusatory, and most of all unnecessary and senseless.  He was in shock because he felt quite attacked for expressing a non-threatening opinion, completely lacking any racial and/or gender implications.  He felt belittled, disrespected, and was profoundly shocked by the reaction.  Moreover, he felt senselessly attacked for making a comment.

His reaction after shock was anger.  Pure, unadulterated (and uncensored) anger.  He bit his tongue, to his credit, because he knew if he opened up the yapper things would fly out that best remained left unsaid.  Sadly, he did the grilling of the brats while his temper also seethed.  His thoughts were decidedly not nice, nor charitable.  The thoughts about her that ran through his mind as he seethed were very much on the slippery slope of worse than bad....they were horrible.  Then the problem compounded because he knew he was thinking terrible things and some of the anger turned toward himself.  He found himself in an awful mad cycle.  Being mad at both at the same time is rugged.  It's an ugly terrain to navigate.

The uglies in his mind continued most of the evening.  The hurt and anger he felt far preceded any sense of civility as the evening progressed.  Finally it was time to walk the dog for his evening chore of fertilizing the neighborhood trees and shrubbery.  While walking, he started praying.  Out loud.  The ugliness continued into his conversation with God.  The venom in the mind spewed out....in language best known to dock workers and sailors.  And yet he prayed anyway, extolling God that he just wanted to share exactly what he was feeling about his wife and himself....exactly as it was, somehow sensing that God was already quite aware of the situation.  And when he went to bed a short time later, he continued to pray....simply asking for calm, for a release from all of the bad thoughts, for a softer heart, for just a feeling of love from Him.  He was praying blood as he prayed.

It must have worked.  He fell asleep praying.  He woke up calm, and actually happy and at peace.  He knew that it was good that he had shared the ugliest he had to offer, the full 3-D version, with a God who is always there...no matter what.  Even when he was praying blood.

Have you ever prayed blood?  You can, you know.

Do the kids have a chance?

I didn't just grow up.

I was taught to speak when I entered a room....

say please and thank you...

to have respect for my elders...

to get up off my butt and let the elder in the room have my chair....

to say "yes sir" and "yes ma'am",  "no sir" and "no ma'am"...

to lend a helping hand to those in need.....

to hold the door for the person behind me....

to say "excuse me" when it was needed....

to love people for who they are, and not for what I could get from them....

and I was raised to treat people the way I wanted to be treated.

 

These are all simple little things that many just take for granted.  In today's world they are also things that often seem to be going by the wayside.  Today's world is a busier place than when I was growing up.  So many moms and dads seem much more smitten with the "gotta have it" virus.  In many families both parents are working.  In some cases it is just so they can live an ordinary low-key life style.  In other cases it is because what the Jones's have is a telling signal to what they need in order to "fit in" or belong. 

 

In these times do the kids have a chance?  A chance to learn and appreciate the value of those simple little things that were just as much a part of life as the dirt we played in way back when.  Each of those simple little things represented not only politeness, but they each focused on the other rather than the self.....and that was the major import of each of those taught habits.  To get out of self.

 

As you read this you may well be thinking "well, that old goat is just living in the past".  Maybe it's true to a degree.  But with that said, are you thinking of the future?  How your kids are going to grow up?  Wrapped up in self or thinking first of others?  Do they have a chance (or a choice) because of the way you are growing them up?

 



Huge hands

A quick one of those "back when" stories.  Way back when, I had a friend who had huge hands.  We're talking very unusually large hands here.  They were normal in every aspect except size.  It suffices to say that they were abnormally large.  Everyone called him....yep, you guessed it...."hands".  He had no problem with that.  He accepted himself as he was.  I often wondered how long that moniker stuck on Alan....if it carried with him as he grew into a man and beyond.

Hands are an important part of our bodies.  So important that they make some really terrific prostheses for those who have lost one or both.  I can't imagine how changed my life would be without hands.  But hands go beyond the physical sense of actually having hands.  For instance, how often have you given a hand (helped) to someone working on a project and needed a hand?  Or been offered a helping hand?  Then there is the direct aspect of hands, as in "hand it over" or "hand it to me".  We handle things with our hands.  We handle things physically, we handle problems and issues as well.

As we journey our way through life, we run across an abundance of questions, issues, problems, downfalls, pitfalls, stumbling blocks and the like.  Some of those get pretty gnarly don't they?  Sometimes we can feel a bit overwhelmed by them.  It is times like that that it is time to call upon someone with bigger hands than Alan. 



Those voices

Every once in a while there will be a news article about some horrific crime in the newspaper.  And, every once in a while in those articles we will see a comment made by the perpetrator....something to the extent "the voices in my head told me to do it".  Some folks laugh or snicker when they read those comments.  Others, the more empathic ones, feel somewhat sorry for the person making the comment.  This is perhaps because they think that the one who said it may just be a bit left of center...confused and sick.

Funny thing about those voices in the head.  We all have them !  We would never admit it to anyone, nor do we like to think about it.  But, the reality is, they are there, talking to us every day.  Some examples:

• the voice of Satan comes through loud and clear in our heads as he tempts us to sin and do things that our other self knows to be wrong.  It whispers such things as:  "go ahead, no one will know", "it's ok", "just this one time", "come on, it's not really that wrong", and the like.
• the voice of truth and reason will try to countermand the utterings of Satan.  It will literally shout such things as:  "uh-uh, you know better", "is that what you really want to do", "why are you even thinking that", "is that pleasing to God", and the like.
• our own voices often become a chorus in our head as we debate decisions.  I call it the mind dance, especially at those times when the pros and cons of both sides of the decision to be made are just about equal in their weight and impact on the ultimate decision.  The mind dance is a tiring exercise, as well as a frustrating process.  It can wear us out, and we fear making the wrong decision.

Here's the problem with those voices in the mind.  We can't, on our own, really shut them up can we?  Oh, it's not from a lack of trying.  I really think that that maxi-computer we call our brain (which our mind is the permanent resident of)  is wired up such that we can't, in and of ourselves shut it up, or shut it down......much like our hearts.  So what to do about those voices?

 

 

We silence the mind by talking......talking with God.  Praying.  And then trusting.  Trusting that He will lead us through the challenge.  His voice will always be loud and clear.....louder than all of those other voices.  And, He doesn't dance around.  He's pretty direct.  You just got to listen to the right voice.



The eyes have it

Eyes.  Really, eyes?  Yes, I know it may seem a bit strange to talk about eyes in a column about life, men, and getting better.  But hear me out please.  Several times over the past year I have written about or used dogs as examples of how to do life, simply because of their overall nature.  Once again I'll revert back to dogs....but just briefly.  We've always had German Shepherds.  Now we have "the old man", Duke, a rescue golden Labrador.  The shepherds were always wonderful dogs, great family dogs.  But you never were quite sure what was going on in their minds simply by looking at their eyes.  Oh, at times the eyes could be quizzical, but generally the eyes were quite neutral.  Duke, on the other hand, leaves no doubt about himself whenever he meets anyone.  He's got a permanent set of "love eyes"....period.  All-the-time !

So since we're on the eye thing, let me share a couple of shorty's.   While in college getting my Master's degree, we had a visiting professor teaching one of the business courses.  I don't remember the course title, but I remember him.  His name was Mike.  His real business was buying faltering companies, assessing their future viability (if any), and then either turning them around or gutting them and selling the left-overs.  Either way, it took a particularly hard, cold, and calculating CEO to do what he did.  And it showed in his eyes.  His eyes were practically dead, as were 99% of his expressions.  We never saw any signs of joy or happiness in the man as he taught that semester.

Another is a neighbor man.  He grew up rough and has always been a blue collar worker.  He is also in a motorcycle gang....a rough one, a well known one.  His eyes are dead.  They never reflect any joy, glee, or happiness.  They are just cold, hard, eyes.  Even when he does smile, it is not a warm smile....it is a "well practiced" placement of the facial muscles to mimic a smile....albeit a joyless phony one.

On the other hand, to a person everyone I have met who is either exploring or is in a relationship with God has eyes that have life in them....even when their personal lives may be in a state of upheaval.  Their eyes are warm and usually caring.  They are certainly expressive, and most often they carry with them an undercurrent of joy and happiness.

What do your eyes say about you to others?  Have you, like me, ever wondered what Jesus's eyes looked like as he ministered to the lesser and the downtrodden?  I bet they were just overflowing with compassion.  What story do our eyes offer as we come in contact with the lessers of society and the downtrodden?

I would say, that in all aspects of our lives.....the eyes have it.  They tell a lot about us.

 



Turning ourselves around

At almost every wedding reception anyone has ever attended, for whatever reason they always seem to play the Hokey Pokey dance thing don't they?  I never understood it, though I will acknowledge that folks seem to enjoy putting "the left arm in", etc.etc.  I guess it's supposed to be fun.  It ends with "turn yourself around".  OK.

As much as I'm not fond of it (and don't normally participate in it....stogie I guess I am), I'm all for turning myself around.  I bet you are too.  Especially when we (you and I) contemplate our brokenness, our propensity for letting sin into our lives at times, and as we struggle with our human condition.  Do you think about those things?  I sure do.  I think most of us do....especially those of us who claim Christ.  It seems that once we claim Him in our lives we become acutely aware of our shortcomings and long for those times when there is no struggle in overcoming them.

We do things in our lives to get "turned around".  We pray.  We read the Word.  We try to stop and think before we act.  We get involved in community groups (small groups) from church.  We attend church.  Without doing those things getting "turned around" is difficult at best isn't it?  If not impossible I should say.  I've been there and done that and perhaps you have too.  Without those things in our lives, we find ourselves living on the slippery slope....a place quite unfriendly to turning ourselves around.

With those thoughts in mind, perhaps I might start thinking of church as a clinic.  After all, over the past couple of years I have unofficially renamed Sunday to "Sanity on Sunday"....where I get myself brought back down to the real earth....as God intended it to be.  So maybe the following isn't so inappropriate after all: