Top 10 Things to do in 2015

Give up doubting yourself

 

Give up negative thinking

 

Give up fear of failure

 

Give up criticizing yourself and others

 

Give up negative self talk

 

Give up procrastination

 

Give up fear of success

 

Give up people pleasing

 

Give God the chance to work in you and trust Him

 

and, Give thanks to God for loving you so.

One life

We all have two lives.

 

The second one starts when we realize we only have one.

Tom Hiddleston

 

 

It almost sounds like a "wake up" time doesn't it?  Or when reality strikes us perhaps?  Sometimes us guys live our lives as if we do have two lives don't we?  We'll get to that "other stuff", like getting serious about our spiritual lives, later on when we have more time.  We'll do that after we get through this "daily life" stuff of raising kids and being responsible for the family.  We'll get to that when we can slow down on our climb up the company ladder and are settled in.  We'll get that later, eh?

 

How does the wake up occur?  Perhaps when we see a close friend of our age die unexpectedly, or when (gasp) we have that first sign of heart trouble.  Or maybe the wake up occurs when we suddenly realize that our family....yes, your wife and kids, don't seem to "revere" you near as much as they once did.   You may ask, "what am I, chopped liver?"  Maybe the wake up occurs at the exact moment you....yes you, take your last breath.  Oops.....too late.  Hey, you never know when it will happen do you?

 

Our second life, our real life, our only life begins when we realize that we really do have but one life and we better spend it in such a manner so as to insure our eternity will be with the Lord when we do pass on.  That's when realize exactly what our priorities need to be.  That's when we realize the duplicity and the fruitlessness of everything else we might have been chasing or felt was a priority up until this point.

 

Yes, we do have two lives.  One we waste.  One we cherish.  One works against us.  One works for us.  One makes us successful.  One makes us successful men.  One pleases us.  One pleases God.

Where are you?  Have you started living your second life yet?

Unwanted Christmas gifts

Around this time of the year many folks lie.  Yes, lie....as in telling a fib.  They do it in the context of being nice....but, after all, lying is lying isn't it?  So what is it about this time of year that sees, perhaps, a greater percentage of folks lying than at any other time?  Because it is Christmas.

The normal routine for Christmas is the exchange of gifts.  And if folks would be truly honest about it we would find that there is an abundance of unwanted Christmas gifts given and received.  No one, however, will ever acknowledge, truthfully, that a gift they have open is really unwanted.  They'll never ask, for instance, "why did you buy me that"?  Or, you'll never hear them say such things as "that's ugly, I'll never wear that", or "really?".  So we hear the Christmas time lies that come with receiving those unwanted Christmas gifts.  Like, "wow, is that neat", or "oh, I really like that", etc.

This stuff happens year in and year out at Christmas.  But, there is something else that happens each and every Christmas.  Something far more important than the usual gifting...both wanted and unwanted.  Each year at Christmas  we are reminded of God's gift to us....all of us.  His son, Jesus. 
That gift He sent to save us all....each and every one of us.  The gift, one we have the choice to embrace or not embrace as our own, that ensures us everlasting life if we accept it.  Yes, Jesus.  And yet, year after year, folks continue to treat that gift as an unwanted Christmas gift.  Some will ignore it, some will only pay soft lip service to it.  Hey....we're talking Jesus here....not some junk wrapped up in a box.  We're talking life.....not things.

Have you sometimes treated God's gift to us, Jesus, as an unwanted Christmas gift?

Troubled sleep

He laid in bed for hours it seemed.  Tossing and turning, restless and unable to match the tired he had felt prior to going to bed to any semblance of the body and mind relaxation that precedes falling to sleep.  His mind was restless too.  It wasn't focusing on any one thing.  To him, it seemed as if his mind was in disconnect as it seemed to jump from one thing to another, never pausing long enough on any one thing to focus on it.  He felt it was going to be a long night of very restless sleep....if there was to be any at all.

Music !  The fleeting thought of music zapped through his mind as a part of the symphony of disconnect that was playing there.  Music sooths, he thought.  Music calms, another glancing thought he grasped.  So he left the warmth of the bed he was so frustratingly trying to sleep in to find his I-pod.  As he made his way back to the bed that he was beginning to think needed an exorcism, he set his I-pod to cycle through the Christian & Gospel songs that had been stored there.  Once in bed he realized that with the music streaming through his ear buds that sleep wasn't going to come.  But what did come was so much more valuable to him....a calmness came over his heart and mind.  His body wanted to react to the music in the most common of ways.  Finger tapping, feet jiggling, hands raising.....particularly as the praise songs cycled through.

As the music which had been playing for a while continued to randomly play, something started to stir in his heart, and with that stirring a clarity of thought lit up his mind.  It was as if he was totally isolated from all that is earthly.....amazingly so.  He saw himself as he really is.  A broken man.  A man so very prone to sin, to neglecting God's will, a man consumed with his need to control, a man who felt that he just couldn't "get it right".  And in that moment of clarity, he also saw God's hand extended to him and he could almost feel the breath that came with the words he heard..."I've got you man, I've got you.  You're mine.  We can do this".

The ear buds came out.  The tears were wiped away from the eyes, and his knees hit the floor alongside the bed.  The house was totally silent....except for the voice of the man kneeling by the bed as he prayed...."fix me Father, fix all that is wrong within me.  Heal me Father, and let me bask in the glow of the scars from that healing.  Take me Father, to do whatever it is You want with me....and lead me there as you make me willing to follow.  Make me willing to be built into the man You want me to be, to do whatever it is, wherever it is, what you want me to do. Take my heart and wrap it in your hands as together we fight the demons that plague me so."  And he cried.  And cried.

Spent, he crawled back into bed.  And he slept, feeling as though he had the arms of Jesus wrapped around him.  A quiet sleep.  A peaceful sleep.  A calm sleep. 

Hearts

 

I never saw a baby that showed any signs at all of hatred, bias, bigotry, prejudice, immorality, sin, indifference, shallowness, apathy or distrust.  In fact, all I have seen is little bundles of pure unadulterated love. 

 

At first I tended not to agree with the above picture because it said "most" people.  Then I got to thinking...if all that was said about little babies is true, then I would actually have to go one step further than the "most" and say all people.  Now, I don't say that in a nasty way at all.  It goes with the territory that our hearts get smaller as we grow because of the inherent brokenness we all have within us.  As we grow we are exposed to so much of an unhealthy world view.  We are faced with a lot of peer pressure.  We are taught so much that is so wrong, either willingly or unknowingly.  It almost seems as if we have no chance.

 

But we do!  God knows our hearts.  He knows what has happened to them, and what can happen.  And He took care of that.  He sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins (our small, hard hearts).  He gives us grace (for our small, hard hearts) when we accept Christ and the fact that He died so that we could be made whole and free.

 

Yes, as we morph from baby to adult, perhaps our hearts do get smaller.  But as we are re-born in Christ, the strangest thing happens.  Those same hearts get softer and softer, and bigger and bigger.  Thank God, he knows our hearts!





Christmas

CHRISTMAS

 

a time to reflect on how much God loves us.....in spite of ourselves

an appropriate time to embrace God's most precious gift to us...His Son

a time to practice setting aside biases, prejudices, and hatred

a time to accept that we are ALL made in God's image

a time to share with family and friends just how much they mean to us

a time to focus on just how truly blessed we are

a time for a softened heart

a time for a loving heart

a time for a kind heart





Choices = Changes

Don't you think that sometimes our spiritual lives just seem to take a beating?  It seems easy, at times, to cave in or to yield to any number of things:

1. laziness or apathy
2. rebellion, even of the mild sort
3. temptations (often disguised in the form of "fun")
4. and the list goes on....and on.....and on.

Why does that happen?  I'm sure one could come up with any number of reasons or "excuses", but if we were to be most honest about answering that, our immediate response would be that we allow it to happen to us. 

When we find that our spiritual condition is less than what we want, or not what we know it can or should be, it's time to start thinking about some choices we might need to make.  But first....by identifying that our spiritual condition needs "tweaking", we have already started to focus on just how to accomplish that....by making some changes.  Change doesn't just appear.  It isn't some mystical power that just drops out of the sky on us.  Change comes about because we make choices.  We choose to do those things in our lives which we know will bring about the changes we yearn.

The very first choice we make in our effort to improve our spiritual condition is whether we really want that change or not.  Then we start to identify those things in our lives that can hinder that change, and we choose to work on those issues.

We each have available to us a tool bag to help us as we choose to make changes.  In that tool bag are the Word, friends to hold us accountable, prayer, community groups, and more.  But...we have to choose to use those tools on a regular basis.

How have your choices been?  Are there things in your spiritual life that need changing?

Take a hike !!!

Did you ever tell someone to "take a hike"?  I certainly have.  It was right at my front door.  A couple of rather insistent peddlers came to the front door and seemed bound and determined to not hear my repeated "we're not interested" so finally I just had to tell them to "take a hike" and closed the door in their faces.  Not particularly nice, but it worked.

I remember another time maybe 10 years ago now when I basically said the same thing.  To my daughter !  She was in college at the time, and she had a pretty full plate.  It was finals time to boot, and that is what was doing her in at this moment of time.  Out of the blue I got what many parents will recognize as the "panicking, crying, overwhelmed child call".   This is when they are really worked up.  You struggle, but you manage to make sense of what they are saying through uncontrollable sobbing with a mix of wailing, and perhaps even a few "you don't understands" thrown in.  Really, it's nasty to get one of those calls at 10:30 at night when you're 50 miles away.  When I finally was able to get my two cents in to answer the question that had been sobbed to me any number of times already during that call..."oh dad, what am I going to do?" the dumbest thing I ever heard popped into my head.  I told her to drop what she was doing, right now, and run....RUN...up and down the stairs to the main floor four to five times..RIGHT NOW.. and then call me back when she was done.  I have to mention here, that she lived on the 5th floor.

When she called back after that version of "take a hike" she was remarkably calm.  The first thing she did was thank me, and then she went on to just chat about how clear headed and revitalized she felt after running up and down the stairs.  She went on to study well that night, focused, and relaxed.  And, she passed her finals in good shape.

We all get clutzed up by the stuff in our lives that comes our way.  If we allow it to, and we often do, we let it fester and boil, and before long we can easily turn into a mess like my daughter did in the example.  We, and all the little figments that reside in our head, can just plain get unnecessarily worked up.  My daughter called her father.  When stuff like this happens to us, when we and our figments collide to the point that we get all clutzed up, we often forget to bring the "Big Guy", our Father, into the equation.  He might just tell us to "take a hike".....literally.  I know there have been times in my life when that short walk around the block, or even just a walk with the dog, has been the stage whereupon my mind was cleared of some of the mess it was dancing with at the time.

I'm pretty convinced that a good portion of my good thinking comes from when I "take a hike".....even when it's the dog taking me on that walk.  Do you need to "take a hike" more often to get rid of the crap in your life?

Friends

Where would we be without friends?  The answer to that is wide open, and it really is connected with another question......"how much do the friends I have affect me?".  Friends can make us, or yes, break us.  I'm not talking about family here (as in, my wife is my best friend), or associates (whom you can get away from if need be).  I'm talking about friends, folks we consider our friends, folks who are our friends.

I lived on the dark side of the highway of life for a fair portion of my adult life.  And for sure, my friends at that time also lived on that side of the highway.  I was happy to be there, and was glad that they were my friends.  Living on that side of the highway meant we had fun....and we made the most of it.  No subject matter was off limits, with the exception of anything related to religion, God, or spirituality.....unless it was made in the context of poking fun of someone....or swearing.

That was then, and now is now.  While walking the pooch today I got to thinking about that....friends. I've had the extreme pleasure of absorbing a whole new set of friends over the past number of years.  That came about after I moved and changed addresses.  I moved from the dark side of the highway, to the lighted side, and I've discovered a lot about what real friends are in doing so.  To be sure, there are vast differences.  Friends from the dark side of the highway:

• do not build you up as a real man, but are great at feeding your ego as a macho man
• don't really care about you....it's about what you bring to the table and bragging rights
• don't really seem to have feelings about much of anything....they tend to be hard in nature
• don't really have a healthy outlook with regards to the opposite sex
• are "in it" for themselves.

Those are just a few characteristics, at least from my experience.  The whole package of characteristics lent itself, in my case, to bring me down and keep me there.  Getting out of that trap is a whole other story, and not the point of this brief discussion.  Before we go there, however, let me offer some differences about those friends who live on the light side of the highway:

• they will unfailingly build you up as a real person, exposed warts and all
• they care about you more than you might ever realize
• they have feelings and emotions, and will share them, and will help you release yours
• they have a very healthy outlook on the opposite sex
• and they are "in it" for you, often at their expense

Here's the point.....we choose our friends.  We can choose friends who will build us up, or we can choose friends who will tear us down.  Therefore.....how we choose and keep our friends is a determinant in how we live our lives.  Do you want to live on the dark side of the highway of life, or its fringes?  Or do you want to live on the light side of the highway?  It is a simple choice which is often determined by the company we keep.....because it is, after all, our own choice who that company is.

Dear Porn Daddy !

I imagine the title got your attention.  Perhaps rightfully so?  The letter below is a copy/paste of a real letter sent from a daughter to her dad.  It took guts not only to write it, but to send it.  I can only imagine how the dad felt when he read it.   Only you know if you are into porn or not.  Only you know where your mind goes when around the opposite sex.  Or so you may think.  I think this letter sends a pretty clear message:

 

OUR CHILDREN ARE PERHAPS FAR MORE PERCEPTIVE THAN WE GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR, AND THEY SEE A LOT MORE, AND ARE AWARE OF A LOT MORE THAN WE THINK THEY MIGHT.

 

WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU LEAVING FOR THEM TO SEE?

ARE THEY SEEING A GODLY MESSAGE FROM YOU?

ALL THE TIME?

REALLY?

 

Dear Dad,

I want to let you know first of all that I love you and forgive you for what this has done in my life. I also wanted to let you know exactly what your porn use has done to my life. You may think that this effects only you, or even your and mom’s relationships. But it has had a profound impact on me and all of my siblings as well.

I found your porn on the computer somewhere around the age of 12 or so, just when I was starting to become a young woman. First of all, it seemed very hypocritical to me that you were trying to teach me the value of what to let into my mind in terms of movies, yet here you were entertaining your mind with this junk on a regular basis. Your talks to me about being careful with what I watched meant virtually nothing.

Because of pornography, I was aware that mom was not the only woman you were looking at. I became acutely aware of your wandering eye when we were out and about. This taught me that all men have a wandering eye and can’t be trusted. I learned to distrust and even dislike men for the way they perceived women in this way.

As far as modesty goes, you tried to talk with me about how my dress affects those around me and how I should value myself for what I am on the inside. Your actions however told me that I would only ever truly be beautiful and accepted if I looked like the women on magazine covers or in porn. Your talks with me meant nothing and in fact, just made me angry.

As I grew older, I only had this message reinforced by the culture we live in. That beauty is something that can only be achieved if you look like “them”. I also learned to trust you less and less as what you told me didn’t line up with what you did. I wondered more and more if I would ever find a man who would accept me and love me for me and not just a pretty face.

When I had friends over, I wondered how you perceived them. Did you see them as my friends, or did you see them as a pretty face in one of your fantasies? No girl should ever have to wonder that about the man who is supposed to be protecting her and other women in her life.

I did meet a man. One of the first things I asked him about was his struggle with pornography. I’m thankful to God that it is something that hasn’t had a grip on his life. We still have had struggles because of the deep-rooted distrust in my heart for men. Yes, your porn watching has affected my relationship with my husband years later.

If I could tell you one thing, it would be this: Porn didn’t just affect your life; it affected everyone around you in ways I don’t think you can ever realize. It still affects me to this day as I realize the hold that it has on our society. I dread the day when I have to talk with my sweet little boy about pornography and its far-reaching greedy hands. When I tell him about how pornography, like most sins, affects far more than just us.

Like, I said, I have forgiven you. I am so thankful for the work that God has done in my life in this area. It is an area that I still struggle with from time to time, but I am thankful for God’s grace and also my husband’s. I do pray that you are past this and that the many men who struggle with this will have their eyes opened.

Love, Your Daughter

*This has been posted anonymously due to the nature of the topic.*

You win, I win, we all win

In my time I've gotten into any number of arguments.  I've won them and lost them.  The point is, in an argument there is only one winner.  Thus they can, and often do, become quite competitive.  Some of the tools which can be used to effectively win an argument are:

• an increasing level of sarcasm as the argument continues
• a raised voice never hurts ones quest to win at all
• some good old finger pointing and jabbing make great tactics
• swearing always raises the tempo of a good argument, especially if it personal in nature
• a good stiff, unyielding body language makes for stronger points
• facts are just a "thing", a word.  Don't rely on them too heavily in your argument.
• jumping on the others weak points to make them look stupid always helps
• throwing unrelated dirt and issues at the other during the heat of the argument helps get the other party to the argument off track
• making sure that your logic sounds reasonable (even if it isn't) is always a great way to bolster your ego and feed the flames of your superiority over the other
• and finally....never, ever, yield to having the final word, and an emphatic one at that.
• To finish it off.....accept apologies, but never offer one up first (to do so could affect your standing in the next argument).  And if you do feel that an apology from you is necessary, whatever you do make it one that is half-hearted at best.

The above list works especially well in interpersonal relationships, and especially in arguments with wives and children because it closely resembles something known as emotional bullying.  Men seem to have a particular propensity toward this type of behavior.  I think that perhaps that stems from some innate desire to "protect my manhood."  In a way, it's a turf war of sorts.  But again, only one of the participants will win.  There will always be losers.

I have gotten into far less discussions than I have arguments.  When I have gotten into discussions, I have won all of them.  So have the other participants.  Like arguments, discussions can, and often do, become quite competitive.  That is where the similarities end.  Some of the tools people use to win discussions are:

• a calm and quiet voice of reason, devoid of sarcasm and swearing
• a heavy reliance on truth, and truth only
• a relaxed body language, one which exudes calm and shows safety to the other
• making sure you stay on point and don't sidetrack
• complimenting the other's strong points as they are made
• knowing that you don't know everything and that compromise is a healthy option
• speaking only what you know about and avoiding conjecture
• entering into it knowing that you need to be open to the others ideas
• being able to agree to disagree

 

 

Why is it so hard for us guys to remember the difference between a discussion and an argument?  Why is our "turf" (protecting our manhood) so much more important than truth and relational integrity?  Why do we tend to argue more than discuss?

 

I'm not a biblical scholar, but I would bet my bowl of ice cream Jesus said something about it.  Maybe something like "love thy neighbor as thyself"?    Just sayin.



Imagine guys

Guys......close your eyes.

Imagine you have a daughter.

Imagine she is dating or about to marry a guy just like you.

Did you smile?

No?

 

Then change.....now!!!!

 

 

 

Guys.....close your eyes.

Imagine you have a son.

Imagine he is growing up to be just like you.

Did you smile?

No?

 

Then change......now !!!!!

 



Fire !!!!

Fire !!!

 

Get your fire back.

It's not over until God says it's over.

Start believing again.

Start dreaming again.

Start pursuing what God put into your heart.

 

GET YOUR FIRE BACK!!!!!

 

I can remember those fires.  Almost every one of them.  And it doesn't take but a brief glimpse of something to remind me of the ones I've forgotten about.  You may know those fires I'm talking about.  I think most of us who are trying to follow Christ have experienced them.  They are those "Jesus Moments".  They are those times when we are literally overwhelmed by God's grace.  They are those times when we are dead certain about why we made the decision to follow Him.  They are those times when we act without regard for fear or what others may think.  They are those times when we absolutely know we are doing the right thing at the right time for the right reason.  Those are our pure "Jesus Moments."  That is our fire.

 

You know....fire extinguishers don't put those fires out.  There is no fire extinguisher made that can do it.  When those fires go out it is because we have done it to ourselves....no other reason.  But here's the deal.  Those fires never go out permanently.  There are always some glowing embers left of that fire.  I fully believe, based on my own personal experience, that once we accept Christ there will always be present within us, at the very least, a glowing ember.....a part of the flame that will never go out.  It may have to be fanned on occasion to flame up, but it is always there as a part of us.

 

I don't for a moment believe any of us are capable of having those "Jesus Moments" on a 24/7 basis.  In fact, I can't help but think that if that was the case, how soon would it be before we got bored and lost interest?  I think that 24/7 fire is reserved for us in a special place promised to us all...heaven, and that there will never be boredom than.  I think we are made to lose that fire on occasion.  If we didn't lose it we'd never have to go through the process of re-igniting it.  By re-igniting we learn about character, and a lot more about ourselves.  And we grow.  Exactly what God expects !!!

 

So....how's your fire?

 



What do I say?

Writing this is difficult.  Very much so,  in fact.  And it’s been rolling around in my head for a couple of days now and it’s no easier now than when the thought first struck me.  I somehow feel that by writing it I am denying God His rightful place at being in control.  And yet, by not writing it I feel that I am not only denying myself an opportunity to get my feeling out, but also the more important opportunity to share them in a meaningful way.

It all started with a simple text message.  While texts often seem somewhat impersonal, I knew this one was not.  It was sent by my best friend, one who just a few days earlier had told me that he was very worried about me.  I had shared with him that I was down with pneumonia.  We don’t share with each other for sympathy.  We share with each other because we are brothers in Christ and we care deeply for each other.  And we pray with and for each other.  The short message he sent told me how his cancer had spread quite aggressively to his liver, and that a plan was being formulated.  As a side note, during the past year he had undergone treatment for melanoma, and had to have some lymph glands removed as part of the process.  The nodes had been attacked.  The prognosis, however, was good at that time.

The text message, when combined with the history, doesn’t leave very much doubt as to the seriousness of the current situation of my friend.  One side of me says God has always been known to have His hands in miracles and there can be one here.  Another side tells me, both from experience and knowledge, that this is not a good situation at all, and that in reality my friends lifetime here on earth may be limited.  Then there is yet other area that comes to mind, one that overlaps both sides of my thinking.  If his case is anywhere near “normal”, there will be physical discomfort of a varied range of severity, and there will most certainly be emotional upheaval as my friend travels the journey he must.  And even as much as he loves the Lord, there may be times of inner weakness as he winds down this road.

What do I say?  What do I do?  Certainly I pray, and encourage others to pray, for comfort for him and his family.  Comfort and healing.   And peace.  And strength…..strength to hold on to the very faith he has taught me so much about in the time I have known him.  But what do I say?  To him? 

I can’t, at this time, go see him.  I’m home with pneumonia.  He doesn’t need any outside weakness introduced to his body.  So, you say, there is the telephone. Yes there is.  And he, of all who know me, know that I’m one of those that has a hard time putting a few words together that make a lot of sense or convey feelings or a sense of thought.  That’s why I write.  That’s why I’m writing this.  That’s why when I am finished, he will get a copy.  He knows me.  We’re brothers in Christ.  So what do I say?

I say, my dear friend….thank you.  Thank you so very much for sharing your life with me, for being a friend, a far more dear friend than you can imagine.  Thank you for letting God work through you on me in these unbelievable ways:

·         for being His instrument here on earth to walk with me when I needed it so much,

·         for propping me up when i needed it,  and in doing so giving me strength,

·         for leading me so appropriately as I struggled to fine the real me buried inside me,

·         for playing such a key role in the revival of my very much weakened spiritual self,

·         for helping me to believe in me for by doing so gifts ignored were brought to life

·         for the richness of the grace and love who have consistently given me, even as we shared the journey of my much broken past

·         for the light of God’s love that has shown through you as you did His work here on earth on me.

These are things that must be said.  They must be shared now, while you are here to know the results of your hands work.  It matters not whether your time here will be extended by Gods hand, or if your work for Him here on earth is done.  What matters is that you did the work He asked you to do when He put me in front of your face.  And what matters most is that you did it well, with love and concern, with discernment, and with grace.  You may be here for a long time to come.  We have no say in that.  But whether that happens or not, know that I love you brother, for what you are, who you are, and what you have so unselfishly done with me.  It is because of that that I look at the short time we have had together as a gift, and a preamble to the time we will spend together (eternity) at such time as we both pass on from this earth.  There were many years when I thought I would never see that other side.  Now I know I will….and I thank you and love you for the role you played in that change.   

Wait for me.  I'll be there.  I promise.  Because you did your job.

Duck Dynasty

I love Duck Dynasty.  I'm not huge on the "t and v" (about what they would call it?), but I don't mind catching that show.  I love it's simplicity, it's basic truth, it's sharing of faith, it's cleanliness....hey, everything about it.  I especially like Uncle Si.  Now he is as basic a guy as there is.  Wear it on your sleeve Si, and show the world !  And you just know that there isn't a phony bone in his body.  What you see is what he is.

Si had this to say about men. 

 

So my name isn't Jack, and perhaps yours isn't either.....but I'm telling you Jack I agree with old Uncle Si on this one.  Appreciate your wife today....and tomorrow....and tomorrow....and tomorrow.  It ain't easy being a woman.  I can attest to that Jack.  My wife is still hanging with me...and that's saying something.







Situational distress

"It's funny...

we ask God to change our situation....

not knowing He put us in that situation.....

to change us!"

 

That's situational distress.  When the light goes on and we realize that it is us that need changing, the distress leaves and the situation becomes a challenge.  It's funny how answers to our prayers sometimes come to us differently than what we expected isn't it?  Hmmmm, might that say something else about us?

 

Kind of looks like a double down.  Situational distress and situational expectations.  Ah, the things we humans do to ourselves.



Notes

" I fed the dog before I left"

 

"Have a great day....I love you"

 

"Pick up shirts at the cleaners"

 

"The dog ate Joey's homework"

 

What is the common thread  between the four sentences listed above?  If you guessed correctly you would have said that they are all examples of notes (well, maybe the last one is a stretch!).  We make notes a lot don't we?  If you don't....trust me, you will when you get older.  The need for notes seems to be fully ensconced within the same gene that produces grey hair.

 

Notes serve to remind us of things we need reminding of.  Notes are also a convenient and easy way to either remind or inform others of something.....like the note I often leave on the water kettle in the mornings when I go to work "I fed the dog before I left".  That insures that my buddy won't get fed twice.  Who can't fail to get a good fuzzy warm feeling when you find this note tucked in your lunch by your wife...."have a great day honey....I love you"?

 

When you think about it notes are good.  What's a to-do list but a bunch of prioritized notes to self of things that we need to try to get done today?  And we all know that those ever important notes to self reminding us of certain anniversary's and birthdays are really life preserving notes !

 

So we go through life pretty much accustomed to notes of all kinds.  Yes?  Perhaps there should be one very important note in our daily lives....important enough that we actually make one up and post it where we will see it several times throughout the day.  We can so easily get focused on all that is of lesser importance, that we sometimes loose track of what is most important.  Think about it !

 



Scars

Have you ever had surgery?  For those who haven't...you're fortunate.  Surgery leaves scars.  Now, personally I don't mind scars.  I got a few good ones back when I was a kid.  That was back in the days before there were butterflies, clamps,  and glues used to minimize scaring.  Heck, a good scar was like a badge of honor back then...."hey. look at what I got!".  Bragging rights in it's early stages you know.

Nowadays the docs seem to be of the mindset that it's best to keep the patients natural beauty intact (a wee bit of tongue in cheek there).  I had a full shoulder replacement a couple of years ago.  The surgeon opened up a large enough area to drive a Mack truck through.  At least that's what it felt like when I came to!  Here, a couple of years later, there is hardly a reminder on the arm of the route where that truck traveled.  The point is...who's going to be looking at what scar there is anyway?  Who checks out armpit areas of older men?  No one that I know of. 

The kind of scars mentioned above are what I call necessity scars.  Something is wrong with the body and it requires surgery to fix it....surgery which may leave scars.  While not all of us have those necessity scars, it's a good bet most all of us do have what I call life scars.  Life scars are those scars that are etched on our minds, hearts, psyches, and souls.  They come from baggage we carry, experiences we have had, mistakes we have made, and any number of other reasons.  Some are self inflicted, some are not.  They're not easily visible to others because we are, as humans, really adept at hiding those scars.  Those scars often cause us to feel bad about ourselves (shame and guilt).  They can make us feel unworthy, or less than we really are. 

There are some very positive truths about the life scars we carry.  And, it is those truths that bring us closer to our real calling....being a light to others for it is through our scars that others may come to see that they too are worthy children of God....even with their scars (and especially because of them).

 



Just a sec !!!!!!

Dad can you come here I want to show you something….just a sec I say and then I get lost in the minutia of life and forget what my son who I  prayed and longed for wants. Well this little word just a sec has come full circle in my life recently when I called out for my kids and they both answered, you guessed it “just a sec” and then it hit me as the song Cats in the Craddle popped into my head with the lyrics “My boy was just like me!”  

How I hate that I put off their needs when my kids need me or desire my attention. I do that more than I care to admit and I need to commit that I need do better. How I wonder how our Father wants our time and attention but repeatedly gets “just a sec” Can you imagine doing that to the very person who created the moon and stars, the ocean and all that’s in it, the snow and rain and everything above the earth and below. Those three little words pack a punch and there not pretty, those words convey you’re not important, or what I’m doing is more important than what you need at this minute.  

Maybe you struggle with the same thing; maybe you have three little words that convey the same message. What areas of your life do you hold dear too and don’t want to share  or interrupt.  If you’re like me and look deep I can assure you we all have them!

Can we commit to each other that we will do better when our wives or kids, or bosses need us, that we will stop what were doing and let others know that they are important, that they are loved and cared for and that what they need from you is more important than a TV show that can be paused, or a computer screen that can wait!!!

 

Just a thought!!!

 

Contributed by guest writer, John Carolan.  Way to go John !!!!

An ambitious undertaking

Well.......an undertaking, yes....but perhaps more like a challenge.  And an ambitious one at that.  But before I get to the basics, let me share something with you;

• I enjoy writing these posts....do you enjoy reading them?
• I write things that relate to me and are close to my heart.  Do the posts generally relate to you in some small way?
• Writing the posts help me in my walk as a Christian man.  Do they help you?

It's been just shy of a year since this blog went on-line.  With rare exceptions there has been a post each day of the week.  I schedule them to be published at 4 AM each day.  That's because I realize a lot of guys specifically allot themselves a quiet time each morning, and hopefully they will check their e-mails and read the post that comes to them each morning.

I'm asking each person who receives this to take the challenge.  Will you be very intentional for the next two weeks in copy/pasting the link for this blog to those on your e-mail lists, and perhaps even your social media contacts/friends and encourage them to check it out....and if they like it to sign on so they can get it in their own e-mail each day?  You know, maybe it doesn't just have to be your man friends and contacts either.  Perhaps you (or your wife) know of some lady who has a husband or boyfriend who could benefit from receiving the posts.

I don't get anything for writing these.....nor do I want anything.  I do them for me.  It's a form of journaling for me, and I rather like it.  It forces me to think about me, to look at my weaknesses.  And it is my only intention that perhaps there are others "out there" who would benefit in the same way.  I'm not into a numbers game here at all.  I actually don't have a clue as to how many have subscribed...I can't find a way to find that out.....and I am really ok with that.

All I'm wondering is.....can you meet the challenge?

One more thing !  I am most certainly not the wizard of writing.  I love it, but there are many, many more out there who can do a much better job.  Maybe even you !  Have you ever had thoughts you want to share?  You know....that sudden brainstorm that you could make an article about?  I want you to know that this blog is not exclusively for my own writing.  Churches have guest speakers.  I would love to have guest contributors.  E-mail me at de3man@sbcglobal.net it

Door stopper

We had a young man come by the house the other evening trying to sell us cable TV service.  We are quite content with our current provider, but the young man seemed to want not to hear that.  He finally started to get quite persistent in his spiel, and I found that I needed to get borderline rude to get him to leave.  I didn't slam the door closed on him....but it was close.

At communion this week I was reminded about another door that I also control....just as much as with the service salesman above.  This door is the one to my heart and mind.  It's the door to God that I all too often shut.  It took communion to get me to think about that door.  We were all encouraged to open that door when we took the bread and thank God for all the ways I saw Him at work in me during the past week.  That one was a short list for me, because I suddenly realized just how much I shut the door on Him so that He can work in me and through me.  Then, as we took the cup, we were asked to focus on that door during the upcoming week  to see God in our lives during the week.

I had to stop for a moment, and just focus on a brief, but fervent prayer.  "God, make my foot a door stopper so that I can't close the door on you this week, so that I can see You in my life each day of this coming week."

I'm pledging, to myself and to God, that this week I will keep that door open, even if I have to stick my foot in the door jamb, so that I can clearly see Him in my life.  That door stopper isn't to keep the pest out, but to let the Best in.


Thanks Greg B.

I've got your back

At church on Sunday I heard one of the most reaffirming messages I have heard.  It was reaffirming in that it was the truth, it hit home, and it was so very, very real.  Admittedly I may well be one of the hugest fans of the message bearer (at least in my mind I am!).  The topic:  A family tree full of knots.  In a nutshell, the message spoke of the family tree of Jesus, which is documented thoroughly in Matthew as he began writing about the Christmas story.  Jesus's family tree was one messed up deal, a lot of knots in that tree.  Follow the lineage and the backstories and you will find an amazing network of not just goodness, but some pretty awfulness as well. 

I don't know all of the details (and perhaps never will) of my family tree, but I do know....with certainty, that there are more than a few knots in that tree (and perhaps I'm one!).  I'd bet that if you have done, or have been presented with, a genealogical study of your own family, you too might come to the conclusion that there are some knots there.  Dismay not !  Brokeness is a part of us all, and thus we all have knots in our background.

One could easily wonder why Matthew included this stuff in his gospel as the precursor to the Christmas story.  It was included to show that God is bigger than our mistakes.  It is a direct lesson for each of us...God is bigger than our mistakes....all of them.  From that we can derive the following about our everyday lives:

• our lives are more than out pasts
• our lives are about what we choose to do next
• because God says "I've got your back"
• "you are redeemed"
• "I know all about the past"
• "I still want to use you for My purposes"

I had a hard time, for a long time, dealing with my own past....my warts, my mistakes, my screw ups, my sin.  It took me a long time to accept that God is bigger than my mistakes....that He has my back.  All I have to do is forward focus and make that next right choice. 

Have you allowed God to have your back?  Are you being forward focused?

Thanks Greg B.

Men !

 

One place is the corner of Complacency & Apathy,

the other....Determination & Grit.

 

 

 

Some of us have gone through that hell not just once, but several times.  It can come about because of our own choices or circumstances.  Each and every time the warrior comes back, several things happen"

• his character has become stronger
• his relationship with God has strengthened
• his sense of grace and love has multiplied
• he is a better man !

 

 



 





Never gonna win !!!

Ok, I'll admit it.  I'm an unabashed rabid fan of NASCAR.  I have been blessed to have been able to go to more races than I can count.  On one occasion I was able to stay the entire duration of a race in the pit box of one of the most well known racers...right there down and dirty with the crew chief and the pit crew.  Another time I had free access to everything in the infield....inspection area, garages, over the fence in pit row...the whole smear.....because I had been able to have NBC press credentials that year through the good graces of a friend of a friend.  And because of that, I was able to stand and talk with quite a few of the drivers before the race.  One was Michael Waltrip.

By the time that occurred, Michael had won his first race.  He won the Daytona 500, the kick off race of the season, in 2001.  That race was his 443rd race in NASCAR, and it was his first win.  When you consider that there are only 36 races in a season, that computes to his having raced for over 12 years before he got his first win.  Does that tell you anything?  It tells me that he never gave up trying !

I think many of us struggle with trying to live the life of a Christ-follower.  I know I sure do.  It's not always easy....in fact, at times it is a downright challenge to even get close.  We face obstacles from both within and without as the evil one tries to throw up roadblocks to stop our progress.  We make bad choices that lead us off track.  And we allow fear to have an impact on us because we don't know what surprises might pop up right around the turn.  In a nut shell, WE are trying to control the outcomes instead of relying on and trusting God as we know we should.  There are times when we just want to give up.

Here's the deal.  Michael Waltrip was never gonna win.....if he gave up !  His goal for every one of those 443 races he ran was to win each one.  He wasn't out there just to drive a fast car around the track each race, any more than he was out there to fill the field of 43 cars.  We are not out here in our world just to occupy space and time either !  No matter what our spiritual condition at any given point in time, our ultimate goal is to end up in heaven when we pass.  That is our race.  That is our goal.  And we are never gonna win it if we don't keep on trying to keep our focus on that goal...no matter what comes our way nor whenever it happens. 

Broken crayons

I can still remember my first very own box of real Crayon brand crayons.  I also remember those "cheesy" brands that they tried to pass off as crayons.  And talk about status symbols amongst the kids...when someone was fortunate enough to get the great big box of real Crayons (I think it was 48 in it), whoever that kid was, was king of the block for a bit.  We didn't have much money when I was a kid, so I got the smaller boxes of Crayons. 

Every once in a while, a crayon would break wouldn't it?  If you were like me, you either tried to scotch tape it back together, or you kept the broken pieces.  Broken crayons simply didn't get tossed out.  Why?  Because they still colored.  They were still useful.  They were still good, even though they were broken.

Our lives are like crayons aren't they?  Mine sure is.  I'm broken.  Perhaps I always will be....until when that day comes.  But you know what?  I can still color !  Though broken, I can still profess my love of Christ and I can still do all that I can within me to continue to try to walk the journey as a Christian man.  That's all He asks of all of us.  He knows we are like those broken crayons.  He also knows that broken crayons can still color.  And all He asks is that we each continue to color our own little corner of the world with examples of His love and His grace...so that others can see those wonderful works of art....all from broken crayons like you and I.



Timing is everything

"Timing is everything" has become a generalized phrase in our society.  It can cover a broad spectrum of events when used in conversations about those events:

• like buying a car at certain times of the month to get the best deal
• like buying or selling a home during the best season to get the best deal
• like coming through with the clutch deal on buying or selling stocks to capitalize on them
• and more.

Timing is everything in our spiritual side of our daily lives as well.  Sometimes we Christians have a very difficult time with that one, don't we?  After all, we get pretty used to trying to control our own lives, and in doing so we tend to forget that it really is God who ought to be in control.  I think we tend to forget because we don't want to wait for His timing....we want it now, and on our terms.  God's timing often clashes with the outcomes that we want and hope for, so thus we just kind of "take over" the task of getting it done....now.  Often the results aren't quite what we perceived are they?

God's timing requires us to be patient and prayerful.  God's timing requires us to be ready for outcomes that we might not agree with or want.  God's timing forces us to relinquish control.  God's timing compels us to have faith.  God's timing makes our trust grow by leaps and bounds.  Timing really is everything isn't it, when only good can come from waiting on God's timing?

Pesky thoughts

Robbers welcomed here!

 

If you have a home, apartment, business or car, would you ever put up a sign like that for others to see?  Of course not.  You'd be out of your mind.  Someone might just take you up on it  and come in, take your stuff, and possibly harm you.

 

What about going to the city and leaving your car running in the parking spot while you go eat dinner?  Nope, someone might just take it !

 

Or, what about leaving your dog in the car with the windows rolled up on a 90 degree day while you shop for hours?  Ridiculous!!

 

What's the common denominator in the above actions?  Of course,......doing something foolish whereby you can expect some outcomes that you will not like.  Oh, and there is one more....you would, let's hope, never entertain the thought of doing any of the above.  Correct?

 

Thoughts are a mixed bag.  We do get ridiculous thoughts....as well as bad thoughts, evil thoughts, sick thoughts, spiteful thoughts, sinful thoughts, and the list goes on.  This is all on top of the good thoughts we get.  That old mind, it seems, can just spit thoughts out right and left, and at any time...and some are, well, surprising...aren't they?

 

I hung out with a mentor 10 years older than I for a long time before he eventually passed on.  I was talking to him one day about how it bugged me that I was so prone to getting some really bad thoughts...mostly about people.  He gave me one of his should-be-patented one liners:  "Well Joey'" he said, "I pick and choose 'em when they come out....and they will never stop coming out.  I'll say to that one..'you're a good thought, I'll keep you', and I'll say to that one...'you're not a good thought, I'm tossing you out'." 

 

Lesson learned, there, from old Tom.  One isn't going to stop the thoughts.  One just has to deal with each one individually....keep or toss, act on it or don't act on it.

 



 

 

 

 

 

 





Money

Say you don't need no diamond rings
And I'll be satisfied
Tell me that you want the kind of things
That money just can't buy
I don't care too much for money
Money can't buy me love

Can't buy me love, love
Can't buy me love, oh

 

Do you recognize this chorus from a pretty popular (and long standing favorite) song?  It's from "Can't Buy Me Love", written by Paul McCartney, and first sung by the Beatles in 1987.

 

I think, at least from what he wrote in this song, that Mr. McCartney had a pretty good handle on what money can and can't do, even as he had (and still does) gobs and gobs of it.  It's just a thing, money is....a means to an end.  With money we can certainly buy stuff, and the more money we have then, should we want to, more stuff can be bought.  What it can't do, and where he was right in his wording, is that it just can't buy the really important things in life....like love and much more.

 

Some folks are so wrapped up in money that it has become their "god".  It is their sole focus, and it is what drives them.  To those, it has become their all.  Their being.  Their definition. I know a man, really a pretty nice and decent man, who has billions (with a "B").  He is quite philanthropic with his money, and does many good things with it.  But his whole life is about money and there seemingly is no corner left for a relationship with the Lord.  Sad.

 

Most of us more common folk struggle with money.  There never seems to be enough, and often we have difficulty separating our wants from our needs and being happy and content with the difference.  And many are content in the knowledge that there are things (besides love, as in the song by McCartney) that money just can't buy.  When we have a grip on that, don't you tend to think that somehow our lives are just a bit simpler and real?

There should be a number 11 on that list.  Money can't buy us a relationship with Jesus.  It's impossible.  That's why, when we give to our church, we need go give strictly out of a sense of our love for the Lord and what he has done in our lives....and not what He is going to do.  It is one small way we can say "thank you" for all You have done for me.  And, it is best given out of a sense of sacrifice, because our priority surely must be to our relationship with Him.

 

How are you with your money?  How are you with your lack of money?  Who is your God?