Words hard to say

           If you were to do an internet search of English words that are hard to say and/or often mispronounced, you might be amazed at the results.  I sure was.  There are some relatively simple and common words that made the top 25 lists that I saw, such as "sixth", "choir", "colonel", "squirrel", and one I really expected to see..Worchestershire (as in sauce).

           Of interest to me was that the word "squirrel" was actually used by the English in WWII during conversations with suspected German infiltrators as a trap.  It seems that at the time it had a different meaning to Germans and their reaction to the word would give them away as German.  As for the sauce commonly put on steaks, that poor word is hard to say to the majority of people.

           Not on any of the lists that I looked at, were what many of us would consider the three hardest words to say--I am sorry.  Why is saying we are sorry (sincerely and humbly saying it and meaning it) so difficult?  Does offering it somehow disrupt our testosterone flow?  Oh, I know, we all say we're sorry when we are caught red handed with no back door to go out of, or when, for instance, we need to show some example of contriteness to our boss or wife.  I get that.  The "I am sorry" I'm referring to is the one that should come the second we realize what we have just said or done is just flat out wrong, unnecessary, cutting, sarcastic, or totally spontaneously wrong for the circumstance.  It is those "should immediately come" I'm sorry's that we most often neglect, perhaps with the hope that whatever we just said or did will just be quietly and quickly forgiven and forgotten.  I'm sure of one thing about these words that are hard to say:  as men who profess to be Christ followers, these words should not be hard to say.

Bottom Line Thought:  Do you have trouble saying these words....with meaning, spoken honestly and with humility?

          

You are mine

While praying one day, a man asked, "Who are you, God?"

He answered, "I am."

"But who is I am", he asked.

He replied, "I am Peace, I am Grace, I am Joy, I am Strength, I am Safety, I am Shelter, I am Power, I am the Creator, I am the Comforter, I am the Beginning and the End, I am the Way, the Truth, and the Light."

With tears in his eyes he looked toward heaven and said, "Now I understand.  But, who am I?"

God tenderly wiped the tears from his eyes  and whispered, "You are mine."

Mentally Strong Men

           We've all seen or come to know, I would imagine, a man who we considered to be a mentally strong man.  As we came to know him we realized that the man behind the mask was the same man we were seeing.  There were no pretenses.  He was real.  And, didn't those kind of guys always seem to strike us as pretty darn admirable men?  Truth be told, most of us probably thought to ourselves "I wish I could be like that guy."

           What is it about those kind of men that make them what they are?  Here are 6 character traits that I believe are at the core of a mentally strong man:

1. They move on.  They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
1. they don't let adversity control them
2. they look past the adversity toward the future
2. They embrace change.  They welcome challenges.
1. they don't fear change nor let it paralyze them
2. they adapt to change
3. They stay happy.  They don't waste energy on things they have no control over.
1. their cup is half full, never half empty
2. they look for the good, not the bad
4. They are kind, fair, and not afraid to speak up.
1. they are not sarcastic, and they don't put others down
2. they refuse to gossip
5. They are willing to take calculated risks.
1. they are not impulsive
2. they focus on the big picture
6. They celebrate the success of other people.  They don't resent that success.
1. they are humble about their own success
2. they are thankful about any success they might have had

           There is one other key quality of a mentally strong man that I have noted in every single man who was mentally strong--he was a God fearing man, very secure in his walk with Christ.  The single most mentally strong man was the example we can follow if we would so choose--Jesus Christ.

Bottom Line Thought:  Where do you fit in that continuum of characteristics that make a mentally strong man?

Ruin your reputation

           Are you a man or a mouse  Come on, squeak up !   My guess is that many guys who profess to be Christ followers are more on the mouse side than the man side.  That is to say, many guys are just plain timid when it comes to witnessing their faith and sharing Jesus Christ with others.  And, if they are not necessarily timid, they tend to be carefully selective when doing so.  Perhaps some of the thinking that drives the lack of fire may well be "what will others think of me" or "will they think I am one of those obnoxious Bible thumpers who don't leave others alone?"

           Jesus, during His short ministry on earth was certainly no mouse when it came to witnessing and sharing, nor were those who followed Him and planted and grew churches after He was hung.  They certainly didn't squeak--they roared.  Many of us probably just need to clear our throats out so we don't squeak as much and can start to roar.

Bottom Line Thought:  What stops you from ruining your reputation?  Are you not seeing opportunities that may be there, or worse yet, ignoring those you see?  Is it fear or uncertainty or a perceived lack of knowledge that stops you?  Are you just complacent or lazy?  How can you overcome these obstacles so that you can ruin your reputation?



Water

 

Ships don't sink because of all the water around them...

 

Ships sink because of the water that gets in them.

 

 

Don't let what's happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.

 

#stayup!

 

 

Bottom Line Thought:  We all get into hot water at times.  We all have struggles at times.  We all have doubts at times.  We all have problems.  But, we all have the opportunity and the choice to allow God to be in control of our lives--all the time.  And, we all need to realize that He won't allow our ship to sink if He is in control.

Just One Guy

          A little over 2000 years ago, it took just one guy to change the world, and His impact is still around and felt today.  He was just one lowly man, born poor in a stable, who went on to be just a carpenter.  But that one common, and yet uncommon man, was the Chosen One to bring God's message to earth in flesh and blood, and later to die in a most horrific way for all of us to atone us of our sin.

           We celebrate the birth of just one guy on Christmas.  His name was Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  And, many celebrate that birth in a very commercialized way.  And many tend to forget, or to shelve, the real reason for Christmas.  But, the bottom line is this--just one guy has ever had the impact on the world that that man did.  We should never forget about just one guy.

Have a very blessed Christmas.

Some day

 

 

So, the message is---what are you doing on all the other days to improve your walk with Christ?



Big Stuff

           I grew up in the era where dads didn't show emotion very much.  I suppose that came from the generation that preceded them.  It was kind of sad, as I came to realize later--and I say later because when you grow up in certain atmospheres what is there is "normal."  Perhaps that is why I don't remember very much about my early childhood.  It has never seemed to be "a special time" to me, or, a particularly happy time.  It was just time while I waited to get older.  Perhaps that is why I carefully planned and executed my escape at a very early age (probably around 10 or so).  I ran away after carefully packing my knapsack with food provisions, matches for a campfire, and some extra clothes.  That lasted a full day before the dog (me) came home with the tail tucked between the legs.  Running away, I came to realize, didn't really change all that much at home afterward.  I still felt pretty darn insignificant.

           Unfortunately, the characteristics of my father didn't escape me.  I was the same way with my kids.  I hadn't learned how the "be the kid" from my dad, so I wasn't very good at "being the kid" with my kids until they got closer to adulthood (teens). 

           The truth is, many of us adult fathers tend always not only to think like adults when around our kids, but to a large degree we tend to forget that our kids are just kids, that they think like kids, act like kids, and don't think like adults--though so often we somehow expect them to.  We often fail miserably to bring ourselves down to their level when we need to.  To them, their "stuff" is big stuff, really, really big deals.  To us it may often seem petty and trite, and is easily dismissed as such.  The following pretty much sums it up:

 

 

 

Bottom Line Thought:  Do you struggle with "being the kid" around your kids?  What impact do you think that might have on them as they grow up, and on how they parent in their time?  Are you doing all you can so that your kid can fully live with their "big stuff"?



          

Morning

           I love it when someone asks me how I'm doing.  I will generally answer with something like this--"I'm doin' just fine.  I woke up alive this morning."  To me, waking up alive is one of the greatest thrills life has to offer me.  It sure beats the alternative doesn't it?  If the weather happens to be snarky (anything but bright and shiny) at the particular time someone asks me that question, I'll add a little caveat to my usual answer, something like this...."and it's a beautiful day out there, nice bright sunshine and blue skies.  Even though I can't see them, they're out there."  Sometimes I get "the look" with my upbeat positive type of response, but more times than not the subliminal message behind my answer reaches the person.  Having another morning here on Mom Earth is simply another great blessing from God, no matter what the morning is like or what we are about to face as we begin yet another day of our walk with God.

           And, while we are at it, it is yet another day in which we have a great opportunity to inspire our own soul, to strengthen our resolve to be more Christ like as we go through the day in relationship with all of those we come in contact with.  It's like getting 365 do-overs in a row.

Bottom Line Thought:  Are you a Grumpy Gus in the morning, or Happy Harry because you realize God has not only given you the gift of another day, but more opportunities to touch the lives of others while you yourself continue to grow your walk with God?



          

Cave Man

          Are your first thoughts when you think of cave man something like the above image or perhaps a Fred Flintstone  type of character?  If so, you are pretty normal.  And would the following characteristics pretty well describe such a character?

boorish

overbearing

sort of dumb and basic

perhaps self centered

prelude to a modern day thug

 

           What might your reaction be to the statement "Jesus was a cave man?"  Would you think it was crazy, ignorant, ridiculous, or maybe even sacrilegious or blasphemous?  Would it get your blood riled up?  Clearly, Jesus possessed none of the characteristics used to describe the cave man of our thoughts above.  Yet, let me submit that Jesus was, in fact a cave man.  Hear me out before you send the goons to lynch me:

•  In the times of Jesus' birth there were two classes of people.  The haves and the have nots.
• the haves were royalty, high priests and rulers
• the have nots were everyone else.  There was no middle class.
• Mary and Joseph were have nots
• shepherds were have nots, hired help
• The available "list" of places where the have nots could stay the night was limited to places that would make a resting place 6 grades lower than a Motel 6 in an abandoned town look good.
• good decent places were strictly for the haves
• The geological make up of the area in which Jesus was born was rocky, hilly, and barren.
• it can be assumed, with good reason, that the shepherds used caves as stables.
• they didn't have money, or even perhaps materials if they did have money, to build barns and stables as we know them today.
• caves offered but a single point of entry, and thus a single point from which to protect the animals from predators and thieves, as well as inclement weather.
• When Mary and Joseph needed a place to stay, it was the shepherds who obliged them.

 

           Thus, I think it can be reasonably assumed historically that Jesus was born in a stable--a cave.  And thus, I don't think it is blasphemous at all to think of Jesus as a cave man.  He was born in a cave, buried in a cave, and He arose from a cave.  And being the cave man that He was, we all have the opportunity of being saved, being guaranteed our place in heaven.  And that is something that Fred Flintstone could never, ever, accomplish.



Crying Uncle, Tapping the mat

           Sometimes I'll catch a college or high school wrestling match.  They're kind of neat to watch.  The kids give it their all.  And when they know, or the ref knows, that they are beaten, the mat gets tapped.  It's a different way of crying uncle (perhaps best saved for arm wrestling?).  I don't ever watch pro theatrics, er, wrestling, because it's not.  It's theatrics. 

          Mat tapping and crying uncle is great for wrestling.  It's great for another thing as well, and this of a deeper much more profound nature.  What better way to end the endless search for ourselves, to fill that empty hole deep within us, to getting sick and tired of being sick and tired, than to tap the mat and cry uncle.  One of the first thing we do when we have messed up our lives so much that we (and others) can't stand us is to cry out to God, "God help me!"  That's tapping the mat. 

           That's the point in our lives when we cry uncle to the life we have been living, continuing the destructive habits we have been following and come to the crossroads--do we yield our lives to Jesus or not.  God isn't a wrestling referee, but he sure will place the mat near us so that we can tap it when we know it is time to change ourselves.

Bottom Line Thought:  Have you considered tapping the mat and turning your life toward Jesus?

Critical Thinker

           When we hear said of someone that "he's a critical thinker", or "he's really good at critical thinking", what do we think of?  Personally, my thoughts almost immediately lean toward several avenues;

• the guy is a CEO or a bigwig engaged in high corporate level strategic planning
• or, the guy might be a very learned professor, rife with all kinds of degrees
• or maybe the guy is an average guy blessed with a high IQ, whereby he is able to easily evaluate most any situation and react in a most positive way.

           Seldom, if ever, do I think about someone like myself.  And yet, I am a critical thinker, just as many, many of us are--though we may not recognize that quality in us.  Truth be told, if honest numbers could be gathered, I would imagine that almost all of us are critical thinkers.  How can this be so?

           I'm pretty much convinced that most of us are critical thinkers in the true sense of the word.  In our brokenness it is character trait that is completely opposed to the kind of thinking that is Christ like.  We see, and look for, so often, the bad in others, or their faults.  And we compare what we see as we do that to our own selves.  Somehow, it almost seems easier to look at something another person does and immediately judge that action, or worse yet judge that person by that action, one which may well have been nothing more than a simple one time stupid mistake.  And, don't we get this tiny little bit of satisfaction out of it as we think "I wouldn't have done that?"

           If Jesus had been this type of critical thinker, I think we could safely assume he would never have been able to surround himself with 12 men whom He could call Apostles, simply because He couldn't have found any so good, clean and pure that all He could see any good in them.  Thank goodness His critical thinking was the good kind of critical thinking....he could see the good in those men even as everyone else could only see the faults.  Which, by the way, is how God sees us.

Bottom Line Thought:  How much time and effort do you waste on bad critical thinking, and how much does it get in the way of trying to see the good in others?

          

Fear

Fear has two meanings:

 

Forget Everything And Run

 

or

 

Face Everything And Rise.

 

Zig Ziglar

         

            It's pretty easy to forget everything and run when we are lacking in our faith isn't it? 



 

           

 



Worthy

           Let's cut right to the chase.  How many of us have felt, or acknowledged that we felt, unworthy?  Sometimes when we say that we feel unworthy because something, perhaps too good to be true, happens to us.  Maybe, just maybe, that is a bit of false humility we are throwing out there?  Or, perhaps whatever it was that happened was just so totally unexpected, so out of the box, that we are so surprised that we immediately feel unworthy.  What is it about us that makes us "feel unworthy?"

 

           It's not all that uncommon to hear someone say that they feel unworthy when they are relating to another their "story"--especially when they have put their old lives on the shelf and are now on their journey of walking with Christ.  It is in those moments that they, knowing what and who they once were, are overwhelmed with the bare truth of what their lives are at that moment as a result of deciding to be Christ followers, albeit perhaps struggling ones.  They are mentally, and perhaps emotionally reliving their past at that moment as compared to their new lives.  It's not all that uncommon.

 

        Something we need to remind ourselves, especially in those times when we are feeling unworthy and perhaps about to say "I can't do this because I am unworthy", is that Jesus surrounded himself with 12 unworthy men when he started His ministry.  One of those men ultimately betrayed Him.  The likes of Paul and Peter, both exceptionally unworthy men (by their own account) went on to start churches and stand tall on their faith in the face of much adversity. 

 

           Let's get real and face it--we are ALL unworthy in our own minds.  God doesn't have a set of books--you know, a worthy book and an unworthy book.  We are all worthy in His heart.

 

Bottom Line Thought:  If you think you are unworthy, and it is affecting your walk with Christ, perhaps you might need to consider a bit of a catharsis.  How about a good old fashioned one on one talk with God whereby you ask him to explain why you are feeling unworthy.  I bet you don't get an answer to that one, simply because He loves you no matter what.

 

The Promise

 

 

What is the most frequent promise (or variation) in the Bible?

 

 

 

 

"God is with you."

____________________________________________________________

 

If you're hurting--God is with you

If you're lonely--God is with you

If you're angry--God is with you

If you're confused--God is with you

If you're alone--God is with you

 

           Regardless of our circumstances, good or bad, happy or sad, shared or alone, God is with us--always.  He's there whether we want Him or not, whether we know it or not. 

 

           There's one thing about this promise that is unique.  Unlike many of the promises we make, this one is never, ever broken.

 

 

 

 

      

The Finger

           Fingers play an important role in our lives.  It would be hard to eat without fingers, and almost any kind of work requires the use of fingers to some degree,  Hey, even communicating could be a bit difficult for those who like to talk with their hands.  Sports.....well forget them without fingers.  So while we're at it let's talk about a real live man thing involving fingers.  Truthfully, aren't we prone at times to offer what is known as the "one finger salute?"  Yes, the finger can get us in trouble if we let it.

           While on the subject of the finger, before I came into a loving relationship with our Lord, I had always that God was somehow "out there" keeping score on me.  I could picture this invisible Him pointing his finger at me while saying "gotcha." Or, just as bad--"do this, or do that....or else."  It's just how I felt.  Kind of like this:

 

 

           As our spiritual journey progresses, we come to learn that there really isn't any finger pointing going on don't we?  We start to learn, appreciate, and love to hear that we matter so much to God, that He loves us beyond our limits of understanding.  We also learn that all he wants is us.  We find that he is patient beyond comprehension as we live our lives, waiting for us to come to Him.  What a wonderful feeling it becomes when we finally realize that it's not the finger pointing at us that bothers us, but rather that we have been ignoring the finger beckoning us and we accept that finger.  This one:

 

 

 

Bottom Line Thought:  Have you yielded to the finger beckoning you to Him?





A Rare Commodity

            Marital bliss is a rare commodity. More often than not it could, at best, be better described as a fairy tale or a figment of the imagination.  Why would anyone ever say something like that?  It sounds pretty harsh doesn't it?

           The reality is, we are all human, and by nature we all have our own values, baggage, agendas, ways of doing things, and our own individual perspectives.  That said, when two folks join in marriage, they are bringing to the table two sets of values, baggage, agendas, ways of doing things, and their individual perspectives--and they don't always mesh.  Sometimes they will never mesh.  Enter compromise, tolerance, forgiveness, patience, and unconditional love--qualities each partner has to learn, grasp, and hold on to if the marriage is going to even have a chance of succeeding.

           The bliss that we feel so strongly when we first get married, and for a varying degree of time after we do so isn't always fed by the reality of the situation.  There are things we don't see in the other, and things we choose to ignore about them.  Those things will, ultimately, pop up and bring friction with them.  That is when the real work begins--the work to build a strong marriage.  That is when we decide we can and will live through those things, some of which can get under our skin mighty fast.

            Marriage is built on love, and it isn't always easy.  Sometimes we just have to choose to love, regardless.

 

 

Bottom Line Thought:  Can you choose to love your spouse even as you sometimes are struggling to even like her?  Marriage is not a scorecard.



Can you do it?

               The posts from this blog are shared on Facebook each day on a page by the same name as the blog.  I've often wondered if the writings would, could, or were having any helpful impact on whoever it is that ultimately reads them.  And, though I've wondered that, I've never really lost the fact that, somewhat selfishly, I am writing them as a sort of personal catharsis.  They are good for me.  The act of writing them is good for my mind and my soul.  And, being public with them is a good means of keeping me in check and holding my own feet to the fire, so to speak.

           I recently received a private message from a gentleman who lives in another country, and receives the posts.  In the message he shared that he was struggling with a relational issue in his life and asked some probing questions.  In other words, apparently since the posts are about being better men, husbands, and fathers, something about a post(s) tweaked him and he started to think about his own situation and how he could change.  My prayers and questions about whether or not what I am able to write could or would have any impact on anyone's life were answered.  I make no bones about it--I'm no healer, and I don't have all the answers, and yes, I struggle in my own life.  I am broken, just as we all are.  It's just a matter of degrees.

           Where am I going with all of this?  We may never know what kind of a positive impact something we may have said or done had in the life of someone else.  And our knowing is not the important thing anyway.  What is important is that the words or deeds we uttered or did may have provided the catalyst to help some other person.

            Through all of this I am asking if you will play a small role in possibly helping another guy change his life.  During the next week, or better yet as you read the daily posts, if one strikes you in a particular way could you copy/paste the link for that post and share it with guys on your email list, your twitter feed, and/or your Facebook page?  This is NOT to build numbers for my readership.  It is FOR each of us doing what we can to help someone else become better men, husbands, and fathers.  You may never know how much a link  you shared affected another guys life.

           Can you do it?

It says it all

 

 

Poignant, revealing, and it says it all for many of us doesn't it?

 

 

 

Bottom Line Thought:  How many of us are leading two different lives....the one we hope our kids (and others) see, and the one we hope they don't see?  If you're doing that dance, doesn't it just add stress to your life?  Only you can change that.



Take Care

           Many men traveling the road of a Christian life, no matter where they are on that walk, can fall into the trap of trying to do to much.  We want to help others, we want to be there for them, and our caring gene goes full tilt.   That's not a bad thing at all...in fact, as Christians we are following our marching orders by doing so.

           But, and yes, there is a but involved.  Just like a roaring campfire, if we don't keep feeding it, the flames will die out.  Or, if we put too much wood on it, it will get out of control.  In our Christian walk there has to be balance.  We cannot forget to take care of ourselves because we can't pour ourselves out to others if our own cup is empty.

Bottom Line Thought:  Balance in our lives is so important to all with whom we are in relationship, and most importantly to ourselves.  Have you looked for signs of imbalance in your life? 



Before & After

           Before and after photos and stories, especially in advertising, tend to attempt to draw the audience or viewer into a comparison mode, whereby it is usually the after part that is propped up.  This is a deliberate tactic used to entice the potential buyer into thinking that perhaps he is currently the "before" and could possibly benefit personally by switching to the "after".  Weight loss or improved bodies comparisons are particularly enticing.  The subliminal message is "here is what you are now, and here is what you could be---and you'd be a happier person by changing.  Most often the ads just neglect the fact that a lot of folks are comfortable in their own skin.

           Those of us who determined that the dark hole we were feeling in our gut just wasn't what life was all about, and then embarked on our journey to become better men, husbands, and fathers, are each a before and after story.  Oh, we may still be overweight or too thin, bald or hairy, nerdy or overly manish, but in the grand scheme of things none of that matters.  What does matter is that because of the journey we taken and the road we are traveling (that long, hard, dirt road called life), we aren't the men we once were.  We're new men.  Not perfect, but new men. 

             Whenever I get to thinking that this business of being a Christian man is not always pleasant, isn't always easy, or seems like never ending work, I sometimes have to fall back on an old saying that really stuck with me:

I'm not the man I should be....

I'm not the man I could be.....

But thank God I'm not the man I used to be.

 

           You see, in typical before and after pictures, stories, and advertising, the "reward" presented is seeable and touchable.  A thinner body, hair on the head, better looks, etc.  The "reward" is enticing, and unless we are totally deluded, we will never look or change to the degree that the "reward" is indicating. 

 

           Our "reward" for embarking on our before and after journey to become Christ following men is really a misnomer.  It's a promise.  From God. And it is written about all over the place in His word.  The "after" us, the new us, is the one that is pleasing to God, and that alone should be what drives us as we struggle from time to time with the little matter we call life.  As new men, the "after" men we are, we have more in our corner going for us than any earthly "before" man--and that is God.

 

Bottom Line Thought:  Are you still the man you used to be?  If so, why?  Isn't it time for a bit of before and after to fill that hole in the gut?



You never know

           How do you react when you see someone you haven't seen for a while and they seem perhaps a little bit cold or withdrawn?  What are your thoughts when you see a friend but they seem distracted or make some fairly obvious lame excuse that they just don't have time to stop and chat right now?  How do you handle a situation whereby one of your relatives suddenly isn't as outgoing as they once were and seem to be avoiding family contact?  What goes on in your mind when one of your co-workers starts "losing it" at work and seems to be turning from friends whom you thought they were close to?
          
           Often, when we run into those situations, we feel hurt or even angry.  Surely we are, at least, a bit confused by the changes we see in those folks.  If our 6th sense is half way keen, we may get the feeling that something is wrong in their personal lives.  But, often our sometimes misguided sense of decency (which may have been tainted by an overdose of political correctness) prevents us from sensitively asking "the questions" that our minds may be presenting to us.  We don't want to pry, and we don't want to invade their space.  Or, we may just be too hurt by their actions and our resultant anger (deep inside) to realize that all may not be as it seems with that person.

           You see, folks may not be avoiding us.  The change we are seeing may well not be out of anything we have done or said to them.  It could well be that there are other things going on in their life that we know nothing about, things that are totally weighing them down and affecting how they do relationship with other folks.  You never know---unless we are big enough to assume that all is not as it seems on the other side of the mask, and are equipped to lovingly be all that we can be for that person.

           Some of the things that may cause those others in our lives to act as they are, are things we may know nothing about, such as:

they may be horribly distracted by a sudden life change

they may be working hard to make ends meet

they are trying desperately to make sense of their situation

they may be too worn out to socialize

they may be dealing with personal pain or illness

they may be tired of having to pretend they are okay when around you

they may be doing all they can just to survive

 

           It is all too easy to make snap decisions about others, and to take things personally.  If we are walking the Christian walk we say we are, when we see changes in people like the examples at the top, we won't be judgmental--we will be compassionate, sensing that there is more to the story.  We won't get snippy with our comments--we will use discernment and speak with love.  We won't feel hurt on our behalf--we will feel hurt for them, we will share their hurt.  And, we will love them to death and let them know that we are there for them as they walk through their struggles. 

 

 

Bottom Line Thought:  If your personal life took a twist for the worst, what would you expect from those around you, the ones who might never know because you didn't want to share that twist?  Would you do anything less for others than you would expect for yourself?

Baby Steps

           Babies are cute.  Babies are also an excellent life lesson for guys who are new to their Christian walk, and also for those who are struggling in their walk.  And, we all struggle from time to time in that walk if we're going to be honest about it right?  What exactly could we possibly learn from babies?  After all, we're grown men trying to do this thing called life !  Babies, really?  Yep.

           For one thing, babies are totally trusting.  They are also very open minded--there is little they think they can't do, and when they discover they can't do something they just keep on trying, over and over again, with the patience of Job.  Let's  take one small example of their tenacity.  They learn to walk don't they?  They just keep on trying, taking those baby steps over and over again, until they get it.  Here's the process:

• they see us walking, and are pretty much convinced that they can mimic us and do it
• they get the thought that they can do it
• that leads to the desire to give it a try
• they put that desire into action and start trying to get up, they crawl
• that action becomes a habit as they keep on trying
• that habit becomes a routine as they keep attempting to walk over and over again
• and as the routine develops,  in due time they walk.

           You see, babies seem to have no problem developing a good routine, and that good routine leads them to a whole new level of their babyhood--they are walking.  But, that good routine all started with baby steps.

           Our Christian walk is really no different.  Sure, there are different roadblocks, different kinds of falls, and different obstacles, but if we take the lesson we can learn from babies, we will find our Christian walk much, much stronger in the end.  And a stronger walk rewards us with healthier relationships, a deeper closeness with our Lord, and a self assurance that when our time comes we will reach our heavenly home.

           Let's recap briefly:  If we are going to develop a good routine which will secure us in our faith we need to take the baby steps to get there.

1. We start by having the right thoughts.
2. Those right thoughts lead to right desires and decisions,
3. which lead to right actions,
4. which become the right habits,
5. which become a good routine.

           It's all about the baby steps, no matter where we are in our walk.  If we fall, we take more baby steps.

Bottom Line Thought:  Have you thought about your Christian walk and what it might need to make you a better man, husband, and father?

Is there any other way?

        One of the beautiful things about the Bible are the lessons it offers to those who choose to study it, lessons about doing life as a God fearing Christ follower.  One such lesson played out in the hours before Jesus was taken to be nailed to the cross, the act which represents our salvation.  He died, we were saved.  The particular lesson was when He went off by himself in those hours to pray (something He often did), and it was the time in His darkest hour when He asked God "Is there any other way?"  The rest is history.  There was no other way.  He had to die on the cross to take our sins.

           What are the lessons each of us can learn from that short example?

• Jesus questioned God, and God answered.
• We, in our darkest times can question God.  He will answer
• Jesus trusted God's response and acted on faith that God was right.
• We can trust God and act on faith that God knows what is right for us.
• Jesus followed through because He knew that God's plan was more important than His.
• We can follow through if we trust that God's plan for us will be better than our plan.

           When it comes right down to it, how good are our plans for our lives in the grand scheme of things?  If we're Christ followers do we cherry pick those things that we know are of God's nudging so that we will minimize any possible discomfort to ourselves?  Or, are we all in with full faith and trust, knowing that whatever His nudges are, wherever they lead us, and whatever we find ourselves doing as a result, we are doing it for Him?  The pivotal point comes when we ask "Is there any other way?" and act out of faith and trust in His answer--and it could be one that we least expect.

Bottom Line Thought:  What would your life be like if God had answered Jesus by saying "Yes, Son, I've thought this over now that you brought it up, and I've decided that you should just go about your life doing what you love best?"

What would the answer be?

           Whether from a worldview standpoint or a spiritual viewpoint, I wonder how many men see themselves in the mirror at least once a day and entertain the question "what kind of life am I leading?"  The face staring back at us from our mirrors, as we face them while shaving or grooming each morning, can be a bluntly stark reminder of who we are and how we are doing life.  There are two things we can't hide our deepest selves from--ourselves and God.

           Those bathroom mirrors can be our friend or an adversary.  They are our friend when we openly meet the guy staring back at us and accept what those eyes are telling us--that we're ok, that we're making progress, that we're still screwing up in this thing called doing life, and that this day is a brand new one given to us so that we can try all over again to get it right.  It's our adversary when we lock on the eyes staring back at us and think defiantly "I'm ok, I'm doing it right and I don't need any change in my life."  Denial and delusion about any brokenness we may have is a tool from Satan's tool bag, one meant to stop us from being committed Christ followers.



          

Bottom Line Thought:  As you stand before your mirror, if you asked the question "What kind of life am I leading?", what would the truthful answer be from the man staring back at you be? 

Busy

"I'm too busy right now to help you."

 

"I'd like to grab that cup of coffee with you, but I'm really busy."

 

"I won't be able to make Small Group tonight. I'm tied up."

 

"Hon, can't you see I'm busy working on that report due tomorrow?"

 

 

           How often do we utter those statements or some similar ones?  It seems as if we humanoids have "busied" ourselves right into a corner.  Heck, we even invent "busies" so that we look busy, or to ward off a sense of boredom we might be feeling.  Busy used to be really good.  It was an indication of being productive, being attentive to detail, a sure sign of "gettin' 'er done."

 

           In some ways it is almost as if busy has become strongly connected with PC.  Because of that, busy-ness has, perhaps more than we realize, become a relationship busting wedge, though we perhaps don't realize that as we go about our various "busys".  As we utter those statements, we are, in our minds, busy.  Reverse the role for a second.  When we hear statements like the above, do we always take them at face value, or do we sometimes think to ourselves "that's bunk!" and feel a little bit hurt?

 

"What I am doing is more important than you right now"

"At the moment, you are not my priority"        

 

          When being busy has, knowingly or not, become a relationship wedge through the way we use it, the above statements are the messages that actually come through to those we have just spoken with.   Wouldn't it be pretty awful if we were to suddenly realize that God was too busy to be a part of our lives?  What would it be like to hear Him speak to us and say "at the moment, I've got too much on my hands and you are not my priority right now?"  On a more earthly note, how would we feel if our wives and children were always "too busy" for us?  Or our friends?

 

 

Bottom Line Thought:  How many missed opportunities (to share Jesus, to really love your family, to take a moment to be kind to someone in need, to grow in your spiritual walk) have you had because you were "too busy?"  How often has your trip on the busy road damaged relationships around you?  Has God ever been too busy for you? 

The place you are when you get up

When I woke up this morning, I asked myself, "What's life all about?"

 

I found the answer right there where I was.

 

The fan said, "Be cool."

 

The roof said, "Aim high."

 

The window said, "See the world."

 

The clock said, "Every minute is precious."

 

The mirror said, "Reflect before you act."

 

The calendar said, "Be up to date."

 

The door said, "Push hard for your goals."

 

The floor said, "Kneel down and pray."

 

The Bible on the night stand said, "I am the Word, live through me."

 

 

             Our days start at the place we are when we get up.  Do we normally get up in a state of agitation, feeling angry, hurt, or alone?  Do we get up thinking about how much of a jerk we can be today?  Do we get up wondering how many people we will hurt with our tongues and actions today, or how we can plan to sabotage our relationships? Do we get up wondering how we can mess up our Christian walk today, about how many things we can do that are contrary to God's word?  I seriously doubt any of us do any of that do we?  If that is the case, then what goes wrong during the day?

 

           Maybe we all need to take a good hard look at the place we get up each morning, including ourselves, and realize that each morning is another wonderful gift and blessing.  It's another day, another opportunity, to try to get it right.  We've been given a pass on yesterday, and now we have a brand new one to let the light shine.  If we make the choice to let it shine, it will be much more difficult for the darkness to take over.

 

Bottom Line Thought:  How do you get up each morning?  What's your life all about?

The 11th Hour

           Everything is set.  All the preparations and planning have been completed.  Everyone has arrived at the church and they are all seated.  In just a few short minutes the organ will start to play and the bridesmaids will be walking down the aisle in advance of the bride and groom.  The 11th hour has arrived. 

           The conference room is prepared.  Coffee has been made and donuts have been ordered for the break later on.  Co-workers are filing in with their departmental fiscal reports.  You stayed up late last night polishing your report up.  If it "flies", the budget for your department will allow you and those you oversee to lead the company in a new direction over uncharted waters.  The CEO steps into the room.  The 11th hour has arrived.

            You just suffered a severe heart attack while mowing out in your yard on a nice Saturday morning.  As you lay there grabbing at your pain wracked chest, sweating profusely, while looking up at your wife and kids who are hysterical while waiting for the ambulance which they have called, you suddenly realize that the 11th hour has arrived.

           At the 11th hour at the wedding either the bride or the groom can still walk away if their heart suddenly tells them that what they are about to do just isn't what they should do.  In the conference room, the CEO can, at the 11th hour, cancel the meeting for a week so that more thought with fresh data could take place to make next years budget more realistic. 

           At the 11th hour, as you or I are laying on that grass out front as a result of an unexpected heart attack, do we have time in those next few moments to get it right, get right with God, un-do all we have done in our lives, so that we might spend our eternity with Him in Heaven?   Will there even be that opportunity in those few brief moments as thoughts of what the future will bring for our wives and kids without us as the EMT's begin their frantic efforts to save us?  Will we even think about it, or is the 11th hour too late?

           When the time comes for us to leave this earth, especially since we have no idea at all when that 11th hour will come, aren't we rather silly not to have our spiritual house in order well before that hour?

Bottom Line Thought:  Where are you spiritually?  When will your 11th hour come?  You don't know?  Then, can you face it knowing you are ready?

At That Instant

Today's post is going to be quite a bit more personal than most.  There's a reason for it. Sometimes life will throw an awful curve ball at us, one so unexpected and so outrageous that our reaction to it will be a very definitive picture of who we really are.  For those of us who struggle with our Christianity, our reaction to the curve ball tells the story of where we are in our walk.  Those kinds of curve balls are, more often than not, spiritual warfare.  Sometimes they are very, very ugly--the kind that will cut to the quick of our peace, our spirit, and, yes,  our faith. They are makers or breakers in a brutal "game" of cut-throat spiritual chess.

I was the other side, on the receiving end, of one of those curve balls today.   Shared rather vehemently with me, out of a sudden and deep sense of outrage, were some statements about Christians and Christianity in general that were utterly void of any sense of logic and reason.  These statements weren't made about anything I had said or done, but rather were a result of some recent horrific mass shootings that have taken place in the country, the most recent one being yesterday.  Most importantly, they were made by a non-believer.

In that instant, the ball was in my court.  As a Christian man, how would I respond?  In that instant, would any words I might say be said in a reactionary way, or would my response be thoughtful, calm, and factual?  Would God be in control of my tongue as I responded, or would Satan laugh all the way to the fire knowing that "I lost it"?  In that instant, could I be the man I want to be, or would I revert back to the "old" me?

You see, we are all privy to those moments in our lives where "in that instant" we make the choice to be the light, or add to the darkness.  It's our call.  All I can say with no doubt is that it is far more often easier to add to the darkness than it is to be the light, and it is almost always one of those life's curve balls that forces us, yes forces, to make the choice. 

In the situation today, the light won over darkness.  But I also know, with no doubt, that this was just a skirmish in the battle of spiritual warfare, and that I will find myself making more of those "in that instant" choices as I continue to travel down this road of life I have chosen--to be a Godly man.

Bottom Line Thought:  Is your life all peaches and roses, or have you found that you also come face to face with those "in that instant" choices?  Do you sometimes feel as if it is one step forward, two steps back?  What do you do to prepare yourself for those moments?

The Big BUT

 

 

"I've had it."

"I've buried myself in a hole I'll never get out of."

"My back is totally up against the wall."

"I can't take any more."

"I can't do it."

"I wish I had never..............."

 

Is there a central theme in those statements we have sometimes made of ourselves?  Perhaps we are still making one or more of them.  All are statements of despair.  All would indicate that we feel we are buried in a mire we can't get out of.  All are, actually, quite negative.  All are usually the preamble to a bunch of unnecessary moaning and groaning and feeling sorry for ourselves.  And all hardly ever get followed up with "the big BUT".

 

The big BUT is that which shows our true character.  It is the beautiful part of us that is calm, strong, and steady.  It is that part of us in which we are not alone as we work through the darkness we find ourselves in occasionally.  The big BUT is when we relate to and rely on the words of Paul, who, in his letter to the Philippians (4:13) said, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."  Beautiful trees, flowers, plants and vegetables grow from the darkness of the places where their seeds were planted.  We can grow into beautiful people simply by relying on the strength that comes from He who was sent to a very dark place--a grave, the very one He arose from on our behalf.  Because of that we don't have to feel we are buried.

 

Bottom Line Thought:  Do you find it easy to forget about the big BUT when you find your back is against the wall?

 

 





The Extra Set of Eyes

Do you find yourself

ü  beating yourself up over past mistakes?

ü  reliving your past screw-ups that put you where you are today?

ü  wallowing in your past sins?

ü  decreeing yourself unworthy because of your present sin?

ü  doubting that God can or will ever forgive you for your sin?

All too often we rely on just our own eyes.  Those are the eyes that see us as we truly are.  The eyes of others may see some of who we really are, but it is those two eyes looking back at us in the mirror each morning as we shave that see the real us—and we know it as we stare back at them.  It is often in those solitary moments that we know how broken we are, just how much we have failed ourselves, our families, and God. 

At those moments we are quick to pass judgment on ourselves aren’t we?  We can do a good job of being judge, jury, and executioner can’t we?  That’s because we are looking through our own eyes.

We tend to forget about the extra set of eyes when we’re busy being judge, jury, and executioner.  We can easily forget that there is that other set of eyes that sees all there is to see about us, even that which we try our hardest to hide.  The extra set of eyes is God’s eyes.  The wonderful thing about that set of eyes is that it sees all there is about us—not just the bad, but most importantly, the good in us and about us, something we often forget. 

God sees our bad side and He knows it is there because we are broken men.  He also knows our good side, our hearts and the soft spots within it.  And I somehow sense that, being the loving Father that He is, He looks for the good while seeing the bad in us.  One of the greatest and most noble things we as broken men can do is to acknowledge the bad that we see with our own eyes, and ask His forgiveness for those things.  Nothing can be more pleasing to the extra set of eyes than seeing us come to Him seeking His forgiveness. 

Bottom Line Thought:  Perhaps us guys need to assume that there is an extra set of eyes staring over our shoulder as we shave in the morning, and then rest in the knowledge that those eyes are seeing good in us that we can’t see.

Is That all There is?

           Is That all There is was a song written in the early ‘60’s that became a hit for Peggy Lee in 1969.  It’s an interesting song in that it is sung from the perspective of a person who is disillusioned with life in spite of unique circumstances. It’s a rather haunting song in which the verses are spoken and only the refrain, which includes the words “is that all there is” are sung multiple times.

How easy it is for us, at times, to either express or think—“is that all there is?” in our own lives.  Don’t we, at times, become somewhat disillusioned with the course of our lives, especially as we glance back at some of the hopes, dreams, and visions we may have had at an earlier time?  More often than not those same hopes, dreams, and visions weren’t realistic given the history and circumstances of those very lives.  And yet, we hung on to them wistfully out of some false, and perhaps unknown, pretense that somehow things were different, and therefore would be different. 

Realistically and ideally, “is that all there is?” is a question that should never be asked.  As men who have travelled this bumpy, twisty, turning, hilly, dirt road of life we really should know that the unexpected is to be expected, and that all that is isn’t always what it seems to be.  Shouldn’t we, rather than be disillusioned, be strong enough to meet the challenges that come in a proactive manner rather than a reactive manner?  If we can learn to do that, then we will never be asking “is that all there is?”  Rather, we will be filled with the joy and peace of knowing that life isn’t boring, but exceptionally full and exciting—even with the surprises and, yes, the disillusionments.  This is especially true when we are leading the lives that God intended us to live as Christ followers, because then we will know that we are living for His purpose and will.  There isn’t any room for disillusionment in that lifestyle.

Bottom Line Thought:  Are you secure enough in yourself, your life, and your walk with Christ that you never wonder “is that all there is?”, or do you have some work to do?

You've Crossed the Line

Lines play a necessary role in much of what we do.  In sports, there are lines which represent out of bounds.  If you cross the line in basketball, for instance, you are out of bounds and the opposing team gets the ball.  If a Nascar driver tries to advance his position at the Daytona race track by passing below the line, he is black flagged (penalized) and must drop back to the rear of the pack.

Lines also play an important role in our lives.  Committing a crime means one has crossed the line of rule of law, and a punishment is in order.  In our daily lives as men, we cross the line over and over don’t we?  Sometimes we do it without even realizing it.  What are some of the lines we cross as we live our lives?  We lie, we cheat, we steal—it’s really just a matter of to what degree we do so.  We say and do things that are hurtful to others.  Again, it’s just a matter of degrees that separate the bad from the really bad.  We can find ourselves crossing the line quite often if we were only to look truthfully at ourselves.

What line are we talking about here?  We’re talking about the line that separates us from God, from our being the Godly men He created us to be, from being the true Christ followers we sometimes call ourselves.  It’s the line where our sin lies on one side.  It’s the line that separates us from the full bounty of God’s love for us.

When we’ve crossed that line, and we often do, we are not hiding a thing from our God.  He know we’ve crossed it.  He also knows when we are sorry for crossing that line, and He welcomes us backs—He accepts us and He loves us.  He does this because of His great Grace for us, and He knows that a lesson learned from crossing the line can be an awesome teaching lesson for us.  If we repent from crossing that line, we’re not penalized or disqualified—we are loved by a very forgiving Father.

Bottom Line Thought:  You’ve crossed the line.  Well, haven’t you?  So, do you ask for forgiveness, accept His love, and move on to try once again?  That’s the way, man.

Actions that Bite Us

No one enjoys getting bitten.  There is something ugly about getting bitten.  Having been severely bitten by a dog at an early age, I can assure you that it leaves a nasty impression, even if a bad scar isn’t a result.

A friend related a story about his just turned 16 year old daughter.  She had been invited one weekend afternoon to the house of one of the boys at her school to play board games.  Both sets of parents were home, and were ok with it.  After some time at the games, the boy’s parents went to the downstairs family room to watch some TV, leaving the kids in the dining room to just hang out.  Evidently the young man felt it was a good opportunity to become just a bit amorous, and started to hug the young lady while standing behind the chair in which she was sitting.  She told him no.  In fact, she told him no 3 times; each time a bit stronger, yet the young man persisted.  After the 3^rd time, the girl bit his arm, and didn’t release the bite.  She actually caused quite a bit of bleeding because it was a nasty bite.  When the lad finally released her, she calmly told him “no means no”, put on her coat, and left the house while calling her dad to pick her up, that she would be waiting outside for him.  No to her, meant no—plain and simple.

Don’t our own actions come back to bite us from time to time?  How often do we keep doing the same thing over and over again while expecting the same results, only to find that each time the result is not what we expected?  We think that we have it all figured out, only to find out that because of our convoluted thinking we constantly get bit by the consequences of our ill thought out decisions and choices.  So often, when we get bitten, we have done it to ourselves. 

Bottom Line Thought:  How often do you feel the bite from some of your actions?  How often are those bites the results of the same actions which you have repeated once again?  How do you go about stopping that cycle?

First Responders

 

We never fully appreciate just how important that segment of society that is called First Responders is until we need one do we?  Police officers, firemen, ER physicians and nurses, and soldiers are there on the front line, waiting for us—to be there for us in our times of need.  They unselfishly do their job, and then they are gone, to wait for the next call.  Can you imagine life without them?  Your house catches fire, you call the firemen—first responders.  Your child falls and breaks an arm—first responders, the Doctors and the RN’s do their job.  Someone is trying to break into your home and you call the police—first responders.  In each case, they help you with your problem, and then they are gone.

Here is a fair question.  Who was the first, First Responder?  Here’s a little hint—He came to do the job and He never leaves.  That’s right.  God was, and is the first, First Responder.  He is always with us, and He will never leave us.  He is our strength and our help.  He is our sustainer.  He is our hope.  He is there for us always.  We trust that our earthly First Responders are all that we think them to be, and yet often we lack the faith to trust that God is all that He can be.  Why do you suppose that is so? 

Bottom Line Thought:  We need our earthly First Responders, and we need to appreciate all they do for us—in our time of need.  They are available to help us when we need them, but then they leave.  Do you think that God is the first First Responder, and the One that never leaves us?  What role is He playing in your life?



Thanksgiving Indeed

Thanksgiving Day

 

Lots of food

lots of overeating

often lots of family

the annual Thanksgiving football games

 

That's what Thanksgiving day represents, to one degree or another, to most of us.  Yes, we take time to give thanks--most often while the hostess is wrapping up loading the table(s) down with way too much food.  And this is after the assorted snacks and appetizers have been consumed for quite a period of time by those who have arrived early.

 

What kind of thanks do we really give?  Is the prayer we offer at the dinner table one meant to be perhaps sensitive to those in presence who may not be believers or may be of a different religious belief?  Is our thanks profound or perfunctory, more obligatory than deeply felt?  Is there, in all of the confusion, any thanks given at all? Is the giving of thanks, in any form, even considered on this day or is it simply another holiday, albeit one that opens the Christmas season?

 

Perhaps on this Thanksgiving day, as we sit at the table to chow down on too much food, couldn't we consider making the following absolute considerations for topics to include in our prayers of thanks?:

• our family and friends
• our church and it's people
• obviously the food we have and are going to consume
• our servicemen for protecting our freedom
• the service and volunteer organizations who help those not as fortunate on this day
• God, who has given us so much, and most especially for His grace and forgiveness

Better yet, why not, after you start the prayer, ask all at the table if they would like to offer their own special thanks for what has impacted them in their lives the past year.  This could be done whether there are 4 or 25 at the table.  Talk about making the prayer and all inclusive one !

 

Thanksgiving is a day of many traditions, as varied as the families that celebrate it.  The one big common denominator in all of them is the fact that it is God who is ultimately responsible for who we are and what we have.  Can we at least honor that through prayer on this day, one not perfunctory or obligatory, or spoken by rote, but one that is truly one of the heart?

 

Think about it.  We do indeed have a lot to be thankful for.  Perhaps more than we may even realize.

 

Enjoy your Thanksgiving.

 



Make the Turn

Let’s start this with the universally accepted premise that us guys just don’t like asking for directions.  Somewhere in our DNA it seems that there must be a gene that kicks into action the second our minds start to form the word direction(s), that particular wire gets instantly shorted out, and we go upon our merry way—directionless.  We fail to make the turn we should because we “know” where we are going.

The same gene has a vocal side which we can hear only in our minds.  It will never fail to tell us “aw, go on, you can do it”, or “hey, champ, what do you mean you need help with that?”, or something similar.  It almost seems that this gene survives so well because of an abundance of testosterone.  It’s pretty much a guy thing.

Are you perhaps considering that this line of thinking applies only to our lack of desire to ask for directions?  As they say on a segment of the pre-game show of Monday Night Football, “Come on man!”  We think this way a lot don’t we?  We find it difficult to remember that our minds are dangerous playgrounds and that we have no business being there by ourselves.

How many times have you said to yourself “I’ve got to do better”, “I wish I could stop doing that”, or something similar when it comes to behavior, habits, or actions.  Now be real for just a second—how many times have you actually done better or stopped doing that—whatever it is?  Very seldom, if ever, would be a good educated guess.  If we’re doing things habitually, or even fairly regularly acting in ways we wish we weren’t—it’s simply not going to change just because we wish it would. It ain’t gonna happen!

The greatest change agent for our personal lives comes from making a right turn.  When we turn from ourselves, and make the turn to God, seeking His direction and His will for our lives, our lives will change.  It is through making that turn that we finally are seeking a sense of direction for our lives, a path to follow, a path that will lead us to calmness, peace, hope, and, by the way, to a reward greater than we could ever provide ourselves.  We are a broken lot, and we don’t un-break ourselves by ourselves. 

Bottom Line Thought:  Consider that Jesus surrounded himself with very broken men, the same men who carried on His work after He died for us all.  Can you make the turn?