Some Life-ism's

We’re all businessmen of sorts. Our smile is our logo. Our personality is our business card. How we leave others feeling after an experience with us becomes our trademark.

Often, one of the most difficult things we can say is actually one of the most intelligent things we can say—“I don’t know.”

Whenever we become confronted with something new in our culture, we need to try a healthier approach—love it first, judge it later.

If we include “I’m available” everyday in our morning prayers, we will find ourselves becoming more openly available to what God has in store for us.

Live in the world. Don’t hunker in the bunker. Live as a learner. We learn the most from people not like us.

He Looks Right Through Me

He looks right through me,

past my sin and the state I’m in.

He sees my heart and sets me free,

to be the man I’m meant to be.

          So often when we’re looking at our insides, we’re looking at the wrong paycheck.

Whenever we feel like we’re falling apart, it’s really God putting the pieces together.

For The Women

What are some of the differences between a Christian guy and a Man of God?

1: A Christian guy might say he loves you. A Man of God will love God more than you, and you are secure with that.

2: A Christian guy might quote or text you Bible verses. A Man of God will have those verses written on his heart and will live them out.

3: A Christian guy might go to church. A Man of God will know that his highest calling is to give glory to God.

4: A Christian guy might “accidently” compromise your virtue. A Man of God will protect it above all else.

5: A Christian guy might be very attractive. A Man of God will have a beautiful heart regardless of how he looks.

6: A Christian guy might take you out. A Man of God will hold you up before God in his prayers.

Hey guys—how much time and effort do we needlessly waste trying to appear to be Christian guys instead of being Men of God? Aren’t we sometimes a little too fanatical about how we appear to be, rather than how we really are? Could that be because we aren’t truly Men of God yet? 

Bottom Line Thought: Whether single or married, how do the differences between a Christian guy and a Man of God line up with who you are? Which one do others see in you?

A Tough Issue

We’ve all been to at least 1 funeral service in our time. Frankly, I don’t like funerals. On the other hand, I love services called Celebrations of Life, because that is exactly what they are. There’s a difference between the two—and it’s often a glaring difference.

Frankly, I’ve been to some funerals for some pretty awful people—and that is not said in a judgmental way. In those cases, sadly, the deceased had absolutely no relationship with the Lord, and the lives they lived were a clear reflection of the lifestyle they chose. That said, I have never heard a Minister or Funeral Director speak the truth at one of those funerals. I’ve never heard something like;

 “Jack never embraced Christianity, nor did he live a life which showed any indication that he understood what being a follower of Christ means. He seemed to care only about himself first, and his family last. He was known to chase around on his wife, and he was abusive toward his kids. He provided, but he was not a good husband or father.”

Instead, at those services I’ve heard what seemed to me to be rather insincere efforts to offer the families and friends of the deceased some hope and feel good message that the deceased was indeed going to heaven. There is never any mention of the kind of life the person led—unless it is of their accomplishments that really have little bearing on their eternity.

At the Celebrations of Life services I’ve attended, the differences from a regular funeral are glaring. At the celebrations there is no doubt that the deceased had a fabulous relationship with the Lord, and that they led their life in service to the Lord and to others. There is never an iota of doubt that the person was truly loved, and that he impacted, in a very positive way, the lives of most who knew him. Lastly, there is, at those celebrations, a very dominant sense of joy among all present, a joy that comes from the knowledge that the deceased is indeed at the feet of Jesus in Heaven.

Bottom Line Thought:  Since it is a known fact that we all die, do you prefer just a funeral or a Celebration of Life for your remaining family to remember you by? Are there changes you need to make so a celebration can take place?

Irritants

“He always leaves the seat up on the toilet”

“She just can’t seem to park the car straight in the garage”

“He leaves his desk at home such a mess all the time”

“The kid always leaves his bath towel on the floor”

Irritants are little things about others and what they do or don’t do that can fester within us and can slowly build up to anger. They aren’t a reflection of the character of the “offending” person. They are just irritants, things that “bug” us. We know the earth won’t stop spinning on its axis because of them. Yet, if we aren’t careful, those little idiosyncrasies can become “big” things—to us.

It’s easy to pick up on those little irritants and do or say things we later wish we could take back. I went to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and on the counter was a spray bottle of lens cleaner. Its normal place is on a shelf a foot and a half away—yet it seems that every time it’s used it’s left on the counter. It had become an irritant. As I muttered under my breath while I put the bottle away the other day, it dawned on me—it’s just an irritant—nothing more, nothing less. And, it caused me to take pause and think—how many irritants am I responsible for (like, my messy desk)?

Don’t we have a whole lot of better, more far reaching concerns than those little irritants to worry about? In my case, I couldn’t help but think that there are a lot of things about me that I need to be concerned about instead of that little bottle of lens cleaner. Like, for instance, how I reacted to it in the first place—a touch of smug anger—“she didn’t put it away again.”

I’m pretty sure that if God were closely watching me He would find lots of irritants about me. Oh—He is watching me. I think I have some work to do. He doesn’t let our irritants stand in the way of our relationship with Him. That’s enough reason for us to not let the irritants of others stand in the way of our relationship with them. They just aren’t worth it are they?

Bottom Line Thought: How do you react to those irritants that really don’t amount to a hill of beans in the grand scheme of things?

Turn the Heat Down

"It's about progress, not perfection" is a comment I heard many times when sitting around tables with strangers in meeting rooms of church basements years ago.  That mantra is a great guideline for those struggling with addiction. It serves as a gentle reminder that getting better is a process, not an event.

We tend to forget that it's no different in our spiritual journey. Being a Christian isn't an event—it’s a process, and a lifetime process at that. Contrary to what many of us think at times, it isn't about perfection. Our walk is about progress. Most of us know that we are not perfect....nor will we ever be. Yet we continue to beat ourselves up for not being perfect almost every time we do something contrary to what we know is God's will for us.

We play a huge role in our children's growth into young adults. Throughout the years from baby to twenties, we don’t see flawless perfection. We see progress because their growth is a process full of ups and downs, trials and tribulations, missteps and mistakes, and most of all, positive learning from all of that. When our kids were growing up we weren't scorekeepers. We were forgivers as they made those stupid mistakes that eventually they learned from. We need to look at God in the same way as we struggle with our spiritual journey. He's no scorekeeper. He is a forgiver.

Let’s turn the heat down. We tend to put a lot of extra heat on ourselves for screwing up. Instead of beating ourselves up over it, we need to try to look at whatever it was as a positive. It's a lesson to be learned from if we choose it to be and that can be a real positive. In addition to turning the heat down, we need to take a moment to remember that there was only one perfect one. His name was Jesus. He knew of our imperfect nature so He died on the cross for us. He carried our sin, our mistakes, our imperfection, so that we could make progress toward the ultimate perfection. He handed us a process to live by, not on a silver spoon, but on a wood cross.

Bottom Line Thought: Are you a scorekeeper or a forgiver with your kids, wife, friends, and yourself? Do you grasp and embrace the concept of progress?

George Carlin

Carlin was a stand-up comedian who could address the most common of life experiences in a very funny way. Many liked him, and many didn’t. He certainly used language that inflamed some, and provoked wild laughter in others. In spite of his language, his keen perception of everyday things, from large to small, from the obvious to the subtle, provided him with an endless supply of materials for his shows. Here’s a meme of his take on life.

Suppose, for a moment, that George Carlin was a hugely successful Christian comedian delivering that talk about other Christians. He’d be talking some tall truth there, and it wouldn’t be too funny would it? And, were he that successful Christian comedian, I wonder what else he might have added about things we neglect to do as Christians.

Bottom Line Thought: Do you see yourself in any of that bit by Carlin? If so, what effect are those things having on your relationships and your spiritual life?

If Those Walls Could Talk

 

Executive sessions regarding personnel, back rooms where politician’s deals are made, the “talk” between the salesman and the manager at the auto dealership—all of those are times when we wonder—“it those walls could talk”, what would they say? Each is a place we are not privy to, yet because we believe the discussions may have some impact on us, we’d like to know what went on there. “If those walls could talk” runs through our minds.

Doesn’t same thing happen with friends, wives, our kids are involved. We know they have put up walls. Our gut is screaming at us that something is going on that is uncomfortable for them. We ask if there is something happening that we should know, or what’s bothering them, and we get something that should have a copyright on it—“oh, I’m fine.” They’re masking. They’ve thrown up walls, walls which are sometimes quite hard to penetrate.

Those folks aren’t the Lone Ranger. Us guys are pretty darn good at building the same kind of walls aren’t we? We’re real good at it when it comes to emotions that show the soft side of us. We don’t build walls around our explosive anger though, do we? We save the walls for those things (emotions, feelings, thoughts) that really matter to the ones around us.

Were it not for some Godly men who wondered what my walls would say if they could talk, I wouldn’t be where I’m at in my spiritual journey today. God used those men to tear those walls apart. You see, God doesn’t care about our walls because they don’t stop Him. He knows what they would say anyway, and He knows, in His wisdom, that our walls prevent us from being all we can be. As long as we have those walls we will never be free, nor will we ever be the men God would love us to be.

We can all be men who, through love, patience, and understanding, can help other guys tear those walls within them down. So we should never wonder what Fred’s walls would say if they could talk. If we’re Godly men, we’ll help him get rid of those walls.

Bottom Line Thought: What kind of walls have you thrown up? What would they say? Are you open to the opportunity to help another man take his walls down?

I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing

 

Some of us have made that statement a time or two haven’t we? I used it just a while back after a trip to a great buffet. The line is from an advertising campaign for Alka Seltzer™ which came out years ago and was an instant hit because of the catchy line and the way they used it in the ads.

As men walking through our walks of life, no matter where we are in our spiritual journeys, we pray—at least once in a while. Those prayers can be anything from a good old fashioned foxhole prayer, to prayers of thanks and praise. Sometimes those prayers are very, very private, and at other times it may be with others in a group prayer.

When we are all by ourselves, and we’re in “normal” times when the stuff isn’t hitting the fan, when we’re praying just to pray how often do we really dump ourselves into His lap? Do we share it all? Do we really give all of our sin, not in general terms, but specific sins, over to Him? Or, do we hold back and offer it up in generalities?

If we’re going to buy into the idea of prayer, why shouldn’t we be all in? If we’re not all in with our prayer lives, what’s the point of doing it? It took me a long time to finally realize just how big God is, and that He is limitless with His people. Besides the benefits to our souls, hearts, and well-being, our complete transparency with God will never prompt Him to say “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.” He can handle it all, and he wants to, because God is God and not Alka Seltzer™.”Nothing, absolutely nothing we share with Him in prayer will cause Him to love us any less.

Bottom Line Thought: If you were to take a thorough look at yourself, are there things you don’t share with Him through prayer? Why not? Are you afraid He’ll have to take some Alka Seltzer™?

Angel of Apathy

Spring break comes and during that week the kids are out of school. How many times have they been bored and asked, “What’s there to do?” A typical response from the mom may be, “just go find something to do.”

Us big kids get bored and restless too, don’t we? Even when our days are filled with the things we need to do in order to do life, we get those moments when we will get bored once in a while. In those moments, it may be God nudging us to do something.

Matthew West sings a Christian Contemporary song titled Do Something. The lyrics address some of the ills of the world, and then the question is asked, “God, why don’t you do something?” Perhaps that same thought rolls into our minds every so often as we open our eyes to the plight of others. After the question is asked, the next verse is the answer—“I did, I created you.” Then the chorus is sung;

If not for us, then who

If not me and you

Right now, it’s time for us to do something

If not now, then when

Will we see an end

To all this pain

It’s not enough to do nothing

It’s time for us to do something

As I listened to this powerful song recently, I was reminded of what a family I am very close to does regularly on Saturday afternoons. They take that time of their family life to do something—they prepare simple meals and take it to a small homeless encampment nearby and give the folks a meal. They do this very privately, with no publicity wanted—they just do it because their hearts have led them there. They are NOT the Angels of Apathy sung about in the song.

Isn’t it true that if any of us wanted to, we could find some small way to do something? We don’t have to be Angels of Apathy do we? We can be simply another soldier of God’s sharing and caring army in a multitude of ways—if we just look for or make opportunities, and then choose to sign on.

Bottom Line Thought: If you are experiencing some nudges, maybe it’s God’s way of telling you you’re and Angel of Apathy and He’s recruiting for His care and share army. Why not?

Now

Many of us act as if we were born without the patience gene. Chances are, however, we were all born with it, we just suffer from PDS—Patience Deficiency Syndrome. One of the characteristics of that illness is, I want it, and I want it NOW.

Here are some of the things we do when we are afflicted by PDS;

·         Unwise, or stupid, spending at inappropriate times.

o   We get our needs and wants mixed up.

·         Inappropriate anger in driving situations.

o   We’re always in a hurry—our fault, yes?

o   Drivers do dumb things—we can’t fix stupid, yes?

·         Allowing ourselves to keep arguments going to prove we’re right.

·         We expect God to hear our prayers and answer them now.

o   Check that, we more often demand it, right?

o   We get angry when He doesn’t.

In my own family, some close to me aren’t saved, nor do they have a relationship with Jesus. I have to be very careful because admittedly, I have PDS. I want them to be saved and accept Christ now. It’s easy for me to forget my own history when my mom and one of my daughters prayed for me for years and years. Neither expected it now. They only expected that God would hear their prayers and in His time and in His way I would find my way. It happened. They didn’t have PDS.

We will all eventually find that there is a strong antidote for PDS. It’s called faith.

He wants us to keep praying.

When we keep praying, it builds our faith in Him.

Once we have that antidote, faith, “now”, amazingly, becomes radically less important as a driver in the way we do things. We take a back seat to God instead.

Bottom Line Thought: What will it be in your life—PDS or faith? I want your answer now!

Yes !

Yes, I’m a Christian.

Yes, I can be the biggest hypocrite ever.

I backslide.

I fall.

I stray onto the wrong path.

But—God is working in me.

I may be a mess, but I’m His mess.

And—He is slowly straightening me out.

The day will come when I will be at His side, His work in me done.

Until that day, I will take His hand, and let Him do in me what needs to be done.

Even if it’s painful, it will be for me.

Because—when He is done, it will all be worth it.

What Gets Lost

·         It’s a crowded house party, with plenty of kids running around and the television on for whoever might be interested. You’re trying to talk some baseball over in a corner with a couple of buddies.

·         It’s a concert with a well known band and a whole bunch of people jamming to the tunes, many with a buzz-on, and very noisy. Your girlfriend is trying to say something to you.

·         You get home from a nasty day at work. Even the traffic on the way home was terrible, and you are late. You’re frazzled and worn out. You walk in the house and it’s like walking into a jabber-fest. The kids are clamoring for your attention, and you wife seems to want to share every little detail about her boring day.

How much conversation might get lost in those scenes? How many “excuse me’s” would get offered up because the person couldn’t hear?

We Christians do some praying, don’t we? Sometimes we even do it in the quiet time in our home—say, for example, right before we go to bed. Do we ever wonder how much gets lost in those conversations? Probably more than we realize.

You see, that’s part of the problem with us sometimes. We are praying to God instead of with God, and when it’s a one sided conversation, well, you bettcha, there is something that is going to get lost in that conversation! Perhaps we should start our prayer time like this;

“Lord, help me to listen to YOU in prayer

as much as you listen to me. Amen

I can’t help but wonder, if we did that, what that conversation would be where nothing gets lost, because we might really hear what He has to say. What might we be missing, and how might that change the way we see things and do things?

Bottom Line Thought: Here’s a hard question—do you routinely pray to God or with God?

Be Very, Very Careful

Let’s play a little game of pretend for just a minute;

·         You and your wife both smoke. You don’t smoke in the house; you step out onto the porch. Nor do you smoke in the car. You both also make it a point to tell your kids how bad smoking is for them.

·         You are driving to a local shopping center with your son so that you can teach him to drive in the unused areas of the parking lot. You’re talking with him on the way about his future driving. You get pulled over by the police for not only running through a stop sign, but also for speeding.

·         You talk to your children about the need to go to church. Your wife takes them every Sunday while you are out golfing with your buddies.

·         You try to give the impression that you are serious about being a Christian, yet when a project you are working on doesn’t come all together and the boss has indicated his displeasure, you go ballistic, and your language is definitely not nice.

·         All of your friends have commented about how your family seems so nice, that it’s nice to see a man so devoted to his wife and children. One day there is front page news in the local paper that you have been busted for possessing porn on your computer.

Is there a common thread throughout those pretend scenes? Of course there is. In each one, which could apply to any number of us, there are 2 different lives being lived—the one we want to project, and the one we really are.

When it comes to our efforts to be a witness to others, there is no room for two of us. There can only be one—the real man that we are if we are serious about or efforts. Others see who, and what, we really are. It is by that observation that they determine whether to trust us or not, just as their observation may be the only one that might cause them to come to Christ. We not only have to talk the talk, we have to walk the walk.

Bottom Line Thought: Are you very careful in every aspect of your life, realizing that you may well be the reason for someone being saved?

Whiners

You read it right. It is whining with an “h” in it, not winning. Why whining in a book for men? Certainly men don’t whine—or do they? Let’s put it this way—winning starts when the whining stops. Here are a few examples of men whining;

·         A friend kid got into 4 different accidents over time and it was “never his fault.” It was always “those other drivers” fault. No mention that the kid already had 2 traffic tickets in the last 6 months.

·         Dad whined that his kid wasn’t picked as a pitcher on his little league team, but neglected to mention that in the past season his kid was an absolute ace at first base and when he did pitch he stunk at it.

·         “I can’t land a job. I go out a couple of days a week and fill out applications but nobody calls.” Sorry buddy, you’ve got to do better than that. You have to be relentless in your efforts to make it happen. A couple of days a week isn’t going to happen.

·         “My wife hasn’t been saved. I keep praying for it to happen.” Her getting saved is a deal between her and the Holy Spirit. When she is ready to let Him into her heart, He will come. The whiner’s job is to lead by example by his own spiritual growth which he should be doing instead of whining about his wife.

·         “None of the neighbors like us. They are just cold folks.” Really? Maybe instead of looking at the one finger pointing at the neighbors, he should look at the 3 point back—at himself. Something’s going on with how he shows himself to those neighbors.

Winners take personal responsibility for situations when they are whining situations. Winners know they are responsible only for their own actions, not those of others. Winners know those things he can handle and is responsible for. They also know that much of which they could whine about is really God’s business. Winners focus on themselves and God, not on all the ills they see. Winners are secure, whiners are not. Winners wear big boy pants. Whiners still wear diapers.

Bottom Line Thought: Do you dodge your own responsibility in favor of whining?

Woman

“And God made woman….”, or a similar phrase is at the front of most, if not all, versions of the Bible. I was sent an unattributed meme about woman, and found the message interesting—and appropriate for men. It said; 

Woman

was made from the rib of a man.

not from his head to top him,

nor his foot to be stepped on by him,

but from his side to be equal to him,

under his arm to be protected by him,

and near his heart to be loved by him. 

Some men have some pretty awful beliefs or thoughts about women don’t they? Those thoughts might not be obvious.  They may view them as subservient, as sex objects, as second class, as “property”, or worse. God made women as equals. He didn’t make them so Adam could have a sex object or a servant to serve him.

If we, as Christian men, look at all women in our lives as anything but our equals, we have a problem, don’t we? How God honoring is that?

Bottom Line Thought: Does your worldview of women line up with your spiritual view of women?

I'm Sorry

I know someone who says that a lot. The trouble is, they don’t really mean it very often, because they are the type of person who is very seldom wrong in their own mind. Those kinds of folks are challenges to be around aren’t they?

Don’t we sometimes just kind of whip the old “I’m sorry” out in our own relationships without really meaning it? We use that version of I’m sorry to end the discussion because it just may get a bit uncomfortable if it were to go further.

I’m sorry can be either an empty term, or it can be the most sincere heartfelt exclamation we can make. Whichever we use will determine the value we place on the relationship. There’s no in between. We either value the relationship, or we think more of ourselves and winning, than we think of the other.

 

Sorry is not enough.

Sometimes we actually have to change.

 

Here’s an end cap for the subject—the difference between a real I’m sorry and a pretend one is the real one will not only sound real, it will have a “will you forgive me” following it. Capiche?

Bottom Line Thought: If you found this topic to not be applicable to you, I’m sorry, will you please forgive me? My guess would be that won’t be the case will it?

12 Simple Things

We are all in relationship of some sort with other, unless we are complete hermits. There is no escaping the fact that we interact with others in our lives. If we all did the following 12 simple things we can do in all of our relationships with all others, can you imagine what our lives would be like? For that matter, theirs too!

1.    Show everyone kindness and respect

2.    Give people we don’t know a fair chance.

3.    Accept others just the way they are.

4.    Do little things every day for others.

5.    Pay attention to who our real friends are.

6.    Stay in touch with people who matter to us.

7.    Keep our promises and tell the truth.

8.    Say what we mean and mean what we say.

9.    Allow other to make their own decisions.

10. Talk a little less, and listen a lot more.

11. Leave petty arguments alone.

12. Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary.

Obviously, one could immediately come to the conclusion that those 12 items should apply to the anonymous keyboard warriors on social media. I would agree. But, isn’t it far more important that we apply them to ourselves in our everyday face to face relationships?  What a world it might be if those 12 items were at the core of our relational skills. How pleasing would that be to the God that loves us? How would they, if we applied them to ourselves, help us in our Christian walk as men?

Bottom Line Thought: If you did a little checklist on yourself with all of the relationships you come in contact with, how would you score from a 1 to 12?

Out of the rut

 

As humans we may feel as if we are in a rut at times. Some will feel that way more often than others. Either way, there are things that we can do to get rid of that negative feeling we have about ourselves.

1.    Don’t hide from the fact that we feel that way. Recognize it and own it and understand that it doesn’t make you a “bad” you, and that it’s a normal phase that happens to us.

2.    Superman can stop bullets. He can’t stop himself from feeling like he is in a rut at times.

3.    .If you feel you’re in a relational rut, talk about it with your partner. Talk about how to turn it into a positive. Maybe you need date nights or spontaneous fun times together—anything to attack the sameness of the relationship. Two attacking a problem is much more effective at making change than one.

4.    If it is a spiritual rut, talk about it and pray about it. Perhaps there is stuff that is going on in your spiritual life that you need to be transparent about and you aren’t. Maybe you have started to question yourself as a Christian man. Transparency and communication are the keys to answering those questions.

5.    Being in a rut is not an event. It is a process that has led you there. Once you have accepted that, come up with a rut-busting plan. Implement it, follow it, and enjoy the ride back to joy, peace, and contentment.

6.    See forward. Keep your focus in front of you, not behind you, and savor every positive sign of change. That, in and of itself, becomes infectious and healing.

7.    Don’t be down on yourself for what is a natural, temporary feeling. Love yourself for seeing it and doing something about it. Trust that God will be there to walk with you as you go through it. And know that you are honoring Him with this effort.

Rut-itis is just a temporary thing. It becomes a permanent issue only if we choose it to be. Most of us, however, don’t enjoy ourselves when we make that wrong choice.

Bottom Line Thought: The roller coaster of normal life gives us peaks and valleys—and ruts. None of them last. Is any part of your life in a rut? How do you deal with the ruts in your life?

In a Rut

 

A few years ago we took a road trip to see the Skywalk over the Grand Canyon. When we got near there on a 2 lane paved road, we found we had to turn off of the nice road and travel on 20+ miles on a narrow gravel road that was a very twisty, hilly, rutty, dusty, and windy road to get there. There were signs posted warning of the need to use caution because of the conditions. The scenery on that “road” was beautiful, but enjoying it was limited because of the need to pay attention to the conditions of the road and other traffic.

In our everyday and spiritual lives we may sometimes find ourselves in a rut don’t we? There is a difference between being in a rut, and having to drive through ruts to see the Grand Canyon. In the former, we let it happen to us. In the latter we choose the ruts.

How do we come to feel as if we are in a rut in our daily and/or spiritual lives? We choose not to find joy in what we are doing, no matter what it is. We allow ourselves to be okay with the sameness of our lives, and that contentment changes to boredom. We fail to find those things that add excitement and energy to our lives, and we become stale inside. We are in a rut. We often fail to see all that is good around us as a result because we feel smothered by the walls of the rut. It also happens with our love for those we are in relationship with.

Being in a rut can bring damage to each aspect of our lives as we begin to feel a bit unworthy or useless because of it. We may often feel helpless. Our zest for life suffers because of the slow progression of the feeling. It’s not something that envelopes us all of a sudden.  Being in a rut is like a cancer that slowly grows within us.

This is somewhat of a negative read isn’t it? It is meant to be that way, because in the next post we’ll read about how to get out of the rut.

Bottom Line Thought: Do you sometimes think that your life, spiritual walk, and/or your relationship is in a rut? Are you losing sight of the beauty and benefit of each?

Why a Christian?

Some folks may wonder why they are Christians in their moments of reflection. Some might think that it’s needed given their background. There are some who have been brought up as Christians and have remained so, and haven’t tasted the fruit of the tree. Others may have a need to have something in their lives besides themselves. Others are spiritually convicted to be Christians.

Whatever our reasons, or whenever we made the decision to be Christians and live the Christian life, we most likely experienced an “ah-ha” moment in our lives. We made that choice because it was the only logical and reasonable choice for us to make at the time and we started to experience some change within us in a relatively short time. That change was sometimes scary and surreal, it could have been very obvious or somewhat obscure, but it was there. It was a real change.

I found a little saying that sums it up for my experience;

I’m not a Christian because I’m strong and have it all together.

I’m a Christian because I’m weak and admit that I need a savior.

That’s enough to give anyone an “ah-ha” moment. When it happened to me I’m pretty sure it gave God one too as He surely may have said, “It finally happened. I waited a long time for this.”

Real men will never question why they are Christians. They will know why. It’s because real men acknowledge their weaknesses and admit their need for a savior in their lives. So the better question to ask becomes, “Why not be a Christian?”

Bottom Line Thought:  Why are you a Christian?

Truck Drivers

The professional drivers of the 18 wheelers, those large semi tractor trailers that are such a vital part of our economy because they move so many goods, are considered to be among the safest drivers. They respect the fact that they are carrying large loads in big trucks that can do a lot of damage to other vehicles if they were to drive them recklessly. Overall, they are also considered the more considerate of drivers.

In many ways, it wouldn’t be a bad idea if we chose to conduct our lives like those truckers drive would it? There are some subtle lessons we could learn;

·         To pace ourselves and plan ahead for the trip of life.

·         To live at a steady pace, fast enough to get there, but slow enough to really enjoy the ride.

·         To be economically wise so as to have plenty for our trip.

·         To be cautious and aware of our surroundings so we would be prepared for any emergency.

·         To be patient with others who might otherwise drive us crazy.

·         To fully know our own limits.

·         To carry a load we can handle.

·         To be courteous to all around us.

·         To share our road with others.

·         To take the time to pull over and stop to help someone in need.

·         To get to our destination safely.

Sometimes we are just too wrapped up in our own little world to be the Christian men we really can be. Maybe we just need to think like those professional truck drivers.

Bottom Line Thought: Can you give a big 10-4 to those ideas? Could they apply to you in your daily drive of life?

When the Planes Stopped Flying

 

The date, 9-11-2001 is imprinted in the minds of most people today. It was a day of enormous tragedy, shock, and horror for all Americans as we watched the Twin Towers in New York City brought down by a couple of airliners hijacked by some terrorists.

Because of the unknowns following the attack, the FAA, ordered all airliners within the continental limits of the United States to be grounded immediately, no matter where they were. In a short time there were no planes flying in the sky. The skies became quiet. Traffic was at a minimum because people were staying put to take in the on-going news of the shocking attack. It was eerily quiet most of the day, and a lot of personal introspection took place I would imagine. Prayerfully, we as a nation will never, ever, have to experience anything like that day again.

In our lives as men doing a constant juggling act of being men, fathers, husbands, providers, spiritual leaders, employees, and more, there are times when the planes in our head need to stop flying. We need quiet for our minds and soul. We need quality quiet, not for just a few moments, but for enough time for us to clearly hear and feel God. We know (hopefully) of God’s presence in our lives, but when was the last time we deliberately took the time to just be quiet to hear what He might be trying to say to us?

The ultimate example of the need for individual quiet for the purpose of listening to what God wants to tell us was set by Jesus. Throughout His ministry, in multiple times He simply went off alone to a quiet place to hear His Father.

Bottom Line Thought: Have you tried having a truly individual quiet time with God? What do you suppose you might hear from Him? Can you give Him some time, with no distractions, just you and Him? Can you ground the airplanes for just a half hour each day for that purpose?

HINT: If you get that far and you find that stuff starts wandering in your mind, simply sit with a hand facing upward on each knee. When the stuff starts in the mind, simply turn the hand over and emblematically “dump the stuff.”

The Beast Within Us: Gluttony

 

We, with little doubt, have all experienced a bout or two of gluttony. It happens to me every time I go to my favorite buffet! For those of you who may have doubts about yourself, just think family picnics, Thanksgiving with a full house (and table), or even the card game with the boys that goes on late into the night. Think unlimited beer and snacks.

Those are all indications of gluttony. Are those examples a bad form of gluttony? Of course they aren’t. Eating like a starving dog or eating like a pig once in a while hardly qualifies as gluttony. If that’s the case, then what is gluttony? Let’s look at that.

·         One might consider a person who amasses vast wealth and lives strictly for that purpose, with no intent of ever using any of that wealth to help others less fortunate, to be a glutton.

·         Or, perhaps a person lives in such extravagance with so much waste. That is gluttony.

·         On a more blue collar level, one whose needs are amply met that won’t make any effort to help the needy may be a glutton.

·         On a different level, if one is excited about his Christianity and has been successful in changing his life because of it, might not he be a glutton by not sharing what God has done for and with him with anyone who may be seeking?

Gluttony is an issue any time we have enough and don’t even consider sharing with others. We don’t have to be wealthy to be gluttonous. Gluttony isn’t restricted to just food and drink and money. No matter what our position in life is, we all have abilities, talents, and gifts we can share to help make the lives of others better. If we are stingy with those things, no matter our reason, we are gluttonous.

Bottom Line Thought: Does this help you consider a new outlook of gluttony? It’s not just about food and wealth. It’s about all we have and are, and whether we have the heart to share with others or not.

The Beast Within Us: Envy

 

Envy, unlike lust for instance, is an emotion that affects us. We become envious when we look at others and try to compare ourselves to them. If we see, and envision, achievement, possessions, quality of life, wealth, status, and the like in others and either wish we had what they had, or wish they didn’t, we are envious. Envy encourages unhappiness in the one experiencing it, but it can also, in cases, lead to subtle sabotage of the others efforts at continued good fortune. That pretty much expresses what we could call destructive or harmful (to us or others) envy. There is a good form of envy as well, for example; the downtrodden segment of society can rightfully be envious of those not as poorly off as they. That is benign envy, and it can bring about social change.

Envy, to us ordinary men can cause us to do some uncharacteristic, and sometimes habit forming things. It can feed our desire, because of the unhappiness caused by it, to feel the need to “keep up with the Joneses.” For example, if the neighbors keep an extraordinarily beautiful yard we might allow that mild envy to spend more than we have available to upgrade our own, perhaps at the expense of buying the family a much needed new couch. Or, if one of the guys recently bought a new boat, it could cause us to think we should have one (and perhaps actually buy one), even though doing so might cause a family budget crunch or prevent money from going into the college fund for the kids.

Envy may be one of the easier beasts within to conquer, simply from the fact that many time our sense of reality and necessity will prevail at times when tempted. That said, there may be instances when our envy can stand in our way of not only happiness, but well being. If we were to envy another man’s wife in such a way that it turned to flirtations lust, a relational envy, serious consequences could be a result relationally.

Bottom Line Thought: If you are fully secure in all that you are, all that you do, and who you are, you will be a happy and contented person. If not, you may have an issue with envy. Do you know if you have an envy issue or not?

The Beast Within Us: Lust

 

This beast within us is almost universally the one we are most secretive about and the most powerful one that affects us. Lust is, simply, an emotion or feeling of intense desire in the body. It’s a psychological force that creates a very strong, often intense, wanting or desire for an object or a circumstance which will fulfill the emotion. Grossly overweight folks may have a lust for food. It could probably be safe to assume that Imelda Marcos, the former First Lady of the Philippines lusted for shoes. She had over 3,000 pairs. Neither of those are secretive lusts—the evidence of those lusts are apparent.

Sexual lust is the leading secretive lust. It’s the lust that plagues many men. Volumes have been written about it and tons of psychological studies have addressed it. Many offenders are incarcerated because of it, and many marriages have been destroyed by it. Here’s some basics about it:

·         Many men can’t look at a beautiful woman and look at her as just a woman gifted with good looks. They look at her comparatively with questions about how it would be to be with her, often in a sexual or at least a fantasizing manner.

·         Oftentimes, a man’s lust will lead him to pornography of varied kinds.

o   Idle times will often drive that lust, sometimes inappropriately.

·         Sometimes a man’s lust will lead him to extramarital affairs, or worse.

·         At times a man can’t keep his eyes off of a nice looking waitress, a group of girls hanging out together, or the like, even when with his family or friends. Even though he may try his hardest not to, he has a difficult time not taking “sneak peeks.”

·         Lust is not easily defeated, and tends to do exactly what ego’s do to us by easing God out of our thinking and hearts.

Lust, is, I believe, the one beast within that is the most easily recognized as wrong by the men who struggle with it. Therefore they are very secretive about it. They know their thoughts are not within society’s norm. The destruction to men and their relationships is also the most visible to others. The fight against lust is best done with a strong partner—God.

Bottom Line Thought: A strong enemy puts up a good fight. If you lust, how do you battle it?