Is That all There is?

           Is That all There is was a song written in the early ‘60’s that became a hit for Peggy Lee in 1969.  It’s an interesting song in that it is sung from the perspective of a person who is disillusioned with life in spite of unique circumstances. It’s a rather haunting song in which the verses are spoken and only the refrain, which includes the words “is that all there is” are sung multiple times.

How easy it is for us, at times, to either express or think—“is that all there is?” in our own lives.  Don’t we, at times, become somewhat disillusioned with the course of our lives, especially as we glance back at some of the hopes, dreams, and visions we may have had at an earlier time?  More often than not those same hopes, dreams, and visions weren’t realistic given the history and circumstances of those very lives.  And yet, we hung on to them wistfully out of some false, and perhaps unknown, pretense that somehow things were different, and therefore would be different. 

Realistically and ideally, “is that all there is?” is a question that should never be asked.  As men who have travelled this bumpy, twisty, turning, hilly, dirt road of life we really should know that the unexpected is to be expected, and that all that is isn’t always what it seems to be.  Shouldn’t we, rather than be disillusioned, be strong enough to meet the challenges that come in a proactive manner rather than a reactive manner?  If we can learn to do that, then we will never be asking “is that all there is?”  Rather, we will be filled with the joy and peace of knowing that life isn’t boring, but exceptionally full and exciting—even with the surprises and, yes, the disillusionments.  This is especially true when we are leading the lives that God intended us to live as Christ followers, because then we will know that we are living for His purpose and will.  There isn’t any room for disillusionment in that lifestyle.

Bottom Line Thought:  Are you secure enough in yourself, your life, and your walk with Christ that you never wonder “is that all there is?”, or do you have some work to do?

You've Crossed the Line

Lines play a necessary role in much of what we do.  In sports, there are lines which represent out of bounds.  If you cross the line in basketball, for instance, you are out of bounds and the opposing team gets the ball.  If a Nascar driver tries to advance his position at the Daytona race track by passing below the line, he is black flagged (penalized) and must drop back to the rear of the pack.

Lines also play an important role in our lives.  Committing a crime means one has crossed the line of rule of law, and a punishment is in order.  In our daily lives as men, we cross the line over and over don’t we?  Sometimes we do it without even realizing it.  What are some of the lines we cross as we live our lives?  We lie, we cheat, we steal—it’s really just a matter of to what degree we do so.  We say and do things that are hurtful to others.  Again, it’s just a matter of degrees that separate the bad from the really bad.  We can find ourselves crossing the line quite often if we were only to look truthfully at ourselves.

What line are we talking about here?  We’re talking about the line that separates us from God, from our being the Godly men He created us to be, from being the true Christ followers we sometimes call ourselves.  It’s the line where our sin lies on one side.  It’s the line that separates us from the full bounty of God’s love for us.

When we’ve crossed that line, and we often do, we are not hiding a thing from our God.  He know we’ve crossed it.  He also knows when we are sorry for crossing that line, and He welcomes us backs—He accepts us and He loves us.  He does this because of His great Grace for us, and He knows that a lesson learned from crossing the line can be an awesome teaching lesson for us.  If we repent from crossing that line, we’re not penalized or disqualified—we are loved by a very forgiving Father.

Bottom Line Thought:  You’ve crossed the line.  Well, haven’t you?  So, do you ask for forgiveness, accept His love, and move on to try once again?  That’s the way, man.

Actions that Bite Us

No one enjoys getting bitten.  There is something ugly about getting bitten.  Having been severely bitten by a dog at an early age, I can assure you that it leaves a nasty impression, even if a bad scar isn’t a result.

A friend related a story about his just turned 16 year old daughter.  She had been invited one weekend afternoon to the house of one of the boys at her school to play board games.  Both sets of parents were home, and were ok with it.  After some time at the games, the boy’s parents went to the downstairs family room to watch some TV, leaving the kids in the dining room to just hang out.  Evidently the young man felt it was a good opportunity to become just a bit amorous, and started to hug the young lady while standing behind the chair in which she was sitting.  She told him no.  In fact, she told him no 3 times; each time a bit stronger, yet the young man persisted.  After the 3^rd time, the girl bit his arm, and didn’t release the bite.  She actually caused quite a bit of bleeding because it was a nasty bite.  When the lad finally released her, she calmly told him “no means no”, put on her coat, and left the house while calling her dad to pick her up, that she would be waiting outside for him.  No to her, meant no—plain and simple.

Don’t our own actions come back to bite us from time to time?  How often do we keep doing the same thing over and over again while expecting the same results, only to find that each time the result is not what we expected?  We think that we have it all figured out, only to find out that because of our convoluted thinking we constantly get bit by the consequences of our ill thought out decisions and choices.  So often, when we get bitten, we have done it to ourselves. 

Bottom Line Thought:  How often do you feel the bite from some of your actions?  How often are those bites the results of the same actions which you have repeated once again?  How do you go about stopping that cycle?

First Responders

 

We never fully appreciate just how important that segment of society that is called First Responders is until we need one do we?  Police officers, firemen, ER physicians and nurses, and soldiers are there on the front line, waiting for us—to be there for us in our times of need.  They unselfishly do their job, and then they are gone, to wait for the next call.  Can you imagine life without them?  Your house catches fire, you call the firemen—first responders.  Your child falls and breaks an arm—first responders, the Doctors and the RN’s do their job.  Someone is trying to break into your home and you call the police—first responders.  In each case, they help you with your problem, and then they are gone.

Here is a fair question.  Who was the first, First Responder?  Here’s a little hint—He came to do the job and He never leaves.  That’s right.  God was, and is the first, First Responder.  He is always with us, and He will never leave us.  He is our strength and our help.  He is our sustainer.  He is our hope.  He is there for us always.  We trust that our earthly First Responders are all that we think them to be, and yet often we lack the faith to trust that God is all that He can be.  Why do you suppose that is so? 

Bottom Line Thought:  We need our earthly First Responders, and we need to appreciate all they do for us—in our time of need.  They are available to help us when we need them, but then they leave.  Do you think that God is the first First Responder, and the One that never leaves us?  What role is He playing in your life?



Thanksgiving Indeed

Thanksgiving Day

 

Lots of food

lots of overeating

often lots of family

the annual Thanksgiving football games

 

That's what Thanksgiving day represents, to one degree or another, to most of us.  Yes, we take time to give thanks--most often while the hostess is wrapping up loading the table(s) down with way too much food.  And this is after the assorted snacks and appetizers have been consumed for quite a period of time by those who have arrived early.

 

What kind of thanks do we really give?  Is the prayer we offer at the dinner table one meant to be perhaps sensitive to those in presence who may not be believers or may be of a different religious belief?  Is our thanks profound or perfunctory, more obligatory than deeply felt?  Is there, in all of the confusion, any thanks given at all? Is the giving of thanks, in any form, even considered on this day or is it simply another holiday, albeit one that opens the Christmas season?

 

Perhaps on this Thanksgiving day, as we sit at the table to chow down on too much food, couldn't we consider making the following absolute considerations for topics to include in our prayers of thanks?:

• our family and friends
• our church and it's people
• obviously the food we have and are going to consume
• our servicemen for protecting our freedom
• the service and volunteer organizations who help those not as fortunate on this day
• God, who has given us so much, and most especially for His grace and forgiveness

Better yet, why not, after you start the prayer, ask all at the table if they would like to offer their own special thanks for what has impacted them in their lives the past year.  This could be done whether there are 4 or 25 at the table.  Talk about making the prayer and all inclusive one !

 

Thanksgiving is a day of many traditions, as varied as the families that celebrate it.  The one big common denominator in all of them is the fact that it is God who is ultimately responsible for who we are and what we have.  Can we at least honor that through prayer on this day, one not perfunctory or obligatory, or spoken by rote, but one that is truly one of the heart?

 

Think about it.  We do indeed have a lot to be thankful for.  Perhaps more than we may even realize.

 

Enjoy your Thanksgiving.

 



Make the Turn

Let’s start this with the universally accepted premise that us guys just don’t like asking for directions.  Somewhere in our DNA it seems that there must be a gene that kicks into action the second our minds start to form the word direction(s), that particular wire gets instantly shorted out, and we go upon our merry way—directionless.  We fail to make the turn we should because we “know” where we are going.

The same gene has a vocal side which we can hear only in our minds.  It will never fail to tell us “aw, go on, you can do it”, or “hey, champ, what do you mean you need help with that?”, or something similar.  It almost seems that this gene survives so well because of an abundance of testosterone.  It’s pretty much a guy thing.

Are you perhaps considering that this line of thinking applies only to our lack of desire to ask for directions?  As they say on a segment of the pre-game show of Monday Night Football, “Come on man!”  We think this way a lot don’t we?  We find it difficult to remember that our minds are dangerous playgrounds and that we have no business being there by ourselves.

How many times have you said to yourself “I’ve got to do better”, “I wish I could stop doing that”, or something similar when it comes to behavior, habits, or actions.  Now be real for just a second—how many times have you actually done better or stopped doing that—whatever it is?  Very seldom, if ever, would be a good educated guess.  If we’re doing things habitually, or even fairly regularly acting in ways we wish we weren’t—it’s simply not going to change just because we wish it would. It ain’t gonna happen!

The greatest change agent for our personal lives comes from making a right turn.  When we turn from ourselves, and make the turn to God, seeking His direction and His will for our lives, our lives will change.  It is through making that turn that we finally are seeking a sense of direction for our lives, a path to follow, a path that will lead us to calmness, peace, hope, and, by the way, to a reward greater than we could ever provide ourselves.  We are a broken lot, and we don’t un-break ourselves by ourselves. 

Bottom Line Thought:  Consider that Jesus surrounded himself with very broken men, the same men who carried on His work after He died for us all.  Can you make the turn?

Why Can't Ordinary be Amazing?

           Doesn’t it seem like we waste a lot of time looking for better, bigger, and the big bang?  With so much advertising stressing that we shouldn’t be satisfied with things the way they are it is no small wonder we tend to buy into that line of thinking.  What we are sublimely hearing is that being ordinary, or having an ordinary life, somehow just isn’t good enough for us. 

That we buy into that line of thinking brings all kinds of problems that we often ignore or don’t see.  Suffering (recognized or not) takes place:

·         Relationships suffer as our emphasis shifts more and more to what makes us feel good.  Stuff becomes important.

·         Finances suffer as we often spend more on impulse than is wise.

·         Things of the world, our junk, become our focus, and our spiritual lives suffer.

We are born with one natural and ordinary characteristic—the need to survive.  That need to survive road has many twists and turns, and as we grow into adulthood those twists and turns often become the wants of more, bigger, better, faster, and less ordinary.  Our focus turns to status, self-esteem, ego, and not being ordinary as we somehow start to thing that all of those “things” will somehow help us to lead more ordinary lives free of issues, problems, and pain.  It’s a vicious cycle.

What if we just took a good hard look at our lives, really focusing on what is important and what is not—a look from a Christian perspective.  And, while doing so, what if we really focused on the kind of life Christ led?  After all, from a biblical perspective he was just an ordinary man through and through, which many might argue.  That said, what if we simply considered that, yes, he was an ordinary man, but one who did extraordinary things.  Looking at it from that perspective, why couldn’t we all just strive to be a bit more ordinary, and then embrace the fact that by doing so we can, indeed do extraordinary things with our lives?  Wouldn’t that be a big part of living a Christ like life?  That would be an amazing life.

 

Bottom Line Thought:  How ordinary is your life?  Is it as amazing as it could be?  Is your lack of satisfaction getting in the way of your being satisfied with an ordinary life?

The Good Church

          Here is a quick glance of the types of church goers:

Twicers:  folks who go to church on Christmas and Easter because, to them, it’s the thing to do.  It somehow makes them feel good.

Sometimers:  folks who go to church sometimes, though not regularly.  When they start feeling guilty, they go. 

Have-to’s:  folks who go because they have to.  They go because their spouse want them to go with them, or “because of the kids.”  Inside, they’re not thrilled about it.

Nevers:  folks who never go to church unless there is a wedding, a funeral, or a baptism.  At other times they just can’t be bothered.

Hoppers:  folks who church hop.  They can never seem to find a church that suits them.  They hop from church to church, never really building relationships, because they are looking for something they perhaps will never find—the perfect church that they have in their mind’s eye.

Regulars:  Folks who are regular attendees of a church.  They know there is no such thing as a perfect church, but they know that in spite of the imperfections that will be found at any church, there are things about the church where they are at that offer them a solid and rewarding Christian experience.  They know there are part of a good church.  Some of the things that make a church a good church are:

·         The church’s teaching is based on solid biblical principles

·         There is a strong sense of community within the church

·         There is transparency and accountability throughout the church

·         When ALL within that church are truly equals

·         And more.

If those things are present in a church, as they are in mine, there will be present the “Circle of G’s”:  One will feel an overwhelming sense of Grace (and love), which will cause one to feel an enormous sense of Gratitude.  Out of that sense of gratitude, one will, fully out of a sense of gratitude (and not guilt) be Generous..with our time, efforts, heart, service, and gifts.  The outgrowth of all this is Growth.  We grow as God’s people, and as a result of that growth we fully extend that same grace that struck us to all others.  We have grown into Christ followers, and we become real people who love the good church..

Bottom Line Thought:  How is your church life?  Where do you stand on the continuum of the churched?  How can you grow in your church?

What's the Wise Thing to do?

                  ·         “Why did I do that?”

·         “Uh-oh, I shouldn’t have done that.”

·         “I simply can’t believe I did such a stupid thing.”

·         “Oh boy, I just messed up really, really, bad.”

·         “I really put my foot in my mouth this time.”

Don’t the words above echo comments we have made or thoughts we have had all too often?  When us guys utter those comments there is usually a good chance for either a self induced butt whipping or possibly even more.  Things like the stare down from the wife, some harsh words from the boss, “the look” from the kids, etc.

All of the angst that comes with the above statements comes from our failure or unwillingness to make a wise decision or choice.  All too often the outcomes of our decisions and choices are decidedly not what we wanted or expected.  One of the reasons for that is we are really good at deceiving ourselves.  We rationalize.  We are excellent at it, in fact.  We know what we want and we know how to twist things to get it.  We fail to do the wise thing.

If we are to avoid having to make the kind of statements listed above after an unwise choice or decision, we need to avoid making that unwise choice or decision. How is that done?  Learn to ask ourselves three simple questions before each decision or choice is made:

1.    In light of my past experiences, what is the wise thing to do?

2.    In light of my current circumstances, what is the wise thing to do?

3.    In light of my future hopes and dreams what is the wise thing to do?

Once we learn to follow those three steps three things will happen:

1.    We will learn to stop rationalizing and deceiving ourselves.

2.    We will learn to consistently make good decisions and choices.

3.    We will find ourselves free of that awful kick in the guts feeling far more often. 

Bottom Line Thought:  Check out Ephesians 5:15-17 if you are hearing those “uh-oh” voices in your head.  Making wise decisions and choices is the mark of a Godly man.  Do you want the freedom that comes with knowing you’re doing the wise thing? 

Washing Machines

Everyone does laundry.  We wear our clothes, they get dirty, they go to the laundry basket, and finally they end up in the washing machine.  When the laundry is finished, our clothes are fresh, like new, and ready to go again.  It's probably a good thing we can't fit in washing machines, because during the various cycles of the process it gets pretty rough in there...but that is how the process has to work in order for those clothes to come out nice, clean, and like new.  We  certainly can't wish or will our clothes clean.

As we travel down this thing called the long dirt road of life, we face so many things....most of which could reasonably be called problems.  It's a guaranteed part of life.  Many of us wish we didn't have so many.  Most of us tend to focus on the problem(s) itself rather then the hope that comes with the eventual outcome.  We need problems in our lives......because they are a lot like those washing machines.

Problems are like washing machines.

They twist, they spin, they knock us around.

But in the end we come out

cleaner,

brighter,

and better

than before.

 

 

Bottom  Line Thought:  Are your problems real problems?  Do you need a trip to the washing machine?



The Formula

As we go through life, aren't we often prone to try to find some formula that will help us through.  It's almost as if Part A has to connect to Part B and then align with Part C..  We feel as if it all has to follow some plan, that there has to be a total sense of order, and that if there is not we will somehow feel unsettled.  We crave that formula almost as much as we crave calm and a total sense of order.

Looking for, and striving for, some mythical formula that will somehow help guide us through life in a calm storybook manner will end up doing just the opposite, because it is just a figment of our imaginations. 

Perhaps some of you by now are saying "Whoa there fella, of course we need a formula to bring a sense of order to our lives."  That would be a good reaction because it would indicate that you are indeed thinking about your life's path.  But, sorry, there is no formula.

What we do have available for us is truth.  God's word.  It isn't a formula.  It's Gods plan for all of us humans whom He made in His image.  You see, formula's are subject to variables.  They can be jiggled, fudged, and toyed with.  God's word, truth, is fact and it is rock solid.  We just have to make the choice whether or not we want to trust that word, or whether or not to try going it our own way by some formula we seek, one we think will offer us the best outcomes. 

Bottom Line Thought:  Is it Pablum or the real deal for you?



Should we? It's hard.

Take a good hard look at the following two pictures.  Go ahead and really stare at them and let them soak in.

9-11, the twin towers just as the 2nd plane was hitting the second tower



a scene from the recent Paris terrorist attack in which 140 were killed







I don't know anyone whose blood didn't boil in the days (and longer) after each of those incidents at the hands of avowed terrorists.  In the first incident, the Towers, al Qaida was involved.  In the second incident, ISIS (a radical offshoot of al Qaida) was involved.  Both groups are painted with the same broad brush labeled Muslim.

Following both incidents, yes both (and I will explain that in just a second), I got on my anti-Muslim high horse (it's the one that lumps ALL Muslims together) in a big way.  Obviously, after the Towers incident many, many of us did the same.  Those terrorists had attacked us on our own grown in a despicable way, and killed many.  The recent Paris incident evoked the same reaction from me, and likewise many others here in America, as well as around the world for the same reason--the attacks in Paris were sneaky, despicable attacks that also killed many innocent people, ordinary citizens, families in many cases, who were just doing the human thing.  They were out eating, they were taking in a show, etc. Through both of the attacks pictured above, the dignity of ordinary peace loving people was accosted. 

My immediate thoughts in both cases went instantly to a general and broad hatred of a segment of society, the Muslims.  Not just the terrorists themselves (who were found to be Muslims), but all Muslims--because the terrorists were Muslims.  And I, like many, have been vocal in expressing those feelings, in private conversations and on social media.  It is very, very hard for anyone who is not living with their head in the sand not to have those feelings in light of what took place.  And, it is even easier to do so when we live in a country that is seemingly currently allowing hundreds of thousands of Muslim refugees into this country--especially after knowing that the two responsible for the Boston Marathon bombing a few years back were likewise Muslim refugees. 

Where is this going?  Today, as I was listening to K-LOVE on the radio, I heard a discussion that I really, really didn't want to hear.  Frankly, the discussion really messed with my sense of patriotism, as well as screwing with my sense of indignity over those terrorist incidents mentioned above.  I didn't want to hear it because it slapped me in my face.  As a person trying to be a good Christian, I was hearing something that I knew was right.  As a human, I was hearing something that was telling me I have been dead wrong in the way I have reacted to the above mentioned atrocities, and I expect that will be the case for anyone who reads this. I was hearing something that made me halt and ask myself  "Should I, it's really damn hard?"  And my answer to myself was short and sweet--"Joe, you've got a choice to make--live the Word, or don't live the Word."  In other words, this is a prime example in daily life where the rubber hits the road.  What I heard was a discussion of reactions to the terrorist attacks based on biblical teaching:

Matthew 5

Teaching about Love for Enemies
43 "You have heard the law that says, 'Love your neighbor'* and hate your enemy.44 But I say, love your enemies!* Pray for those who persecute you!45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much.47 If you are kind only to your friends,* how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

Frankly, I don't want to love them.  I want to hate them.  But, I also want to live my attempt at a Christian walk in the way that follows the Word.  I came, once again, upon hearing that discussion and reading the related Word noted in the discussion, to the conclusion that God really does hand us some tough choices in our daily lives doesn't He.

Bottom Line Thought:  When the rubber hits the road in our Christian walk, it is sometimes just plain hard to do the Godly thing isn't it? 



Uncle Sam Wants You



           During WWII a widely accepted poster was posted everywhere.  It was a caricature of an uber patriotic Uncle Sam’s face with emphasis on a white gloved hand pointing at the viewer, and the large print caption literally yelled out at the viewer—“Uncle Sam Wants You!”.  A large part of the American fleet had just been obliterated at the hands of Japanese kamikaze bombers in a sneak attack in Hawaii, and America declared war as a result.  Citizens volunteered to serve in many capacities in the war effort.  Often, their backgrounds didn’t stop them from serving.

 

Are you one of those guys who has tried to turn yourself around?  Have you started to embrace a Christian walk?  As you tread down that long dirt road called life while struggling with your inner need to be a Christ follower, are there some things in your life that you feel are holding you back from anything you sense that God may be calling you to do?  You’re not alone.  It’s common.  It happens to all of us who are broken (and, yes, we all are).  Here’s the deal skipper:

Uncle God Wants You !

Your pastor or minister isn’t a perfect human being.  Nor are the “pillars” of your church.  If they claim to be, you might be in the wrong church.  If they are humans, and evidence would not dispute that, they too are broken.  We all are.  Every last one of us are.  None of us are on pedestals (unless, in the figments of our imaginations we have placed ourselves there). 

A look through the Bible will show illustration after illustration how God has used people with horrible backgrounds in wonderful ways.  And, He is still doing it today—over and over again.  So, skipper, what’s holding you back from following the leadings of your heart?

 

Bottom Line Thought:  Have you considered that God can use your flaws, your history, your brokenness to help others to strengthen their walk?

 



There's Got to be Rhythm: A Recap

All too often us guys feel like we are in a rut. We feel like our lives are just blah, that we get up every day, do the same old things, go to bed at night, and get up the next day to start the cycle all over again.  That, my friends, is a life that lacks good rhythm.  We weren’t born to be rhythm less.  The example set by Christ, the same Christ we try to follow as men striving to develop a passionate, rewarding, purpose-filled life was by no means without rhythm—good rhythm.

Let’s recap what a rhythm filled life is:

1.    Practice authenticity

2.    Be kind

3.    Seek beauty

4.    Seek God

5.    Be hospitable

6.    Serve others

7.    Learn to celebrate and mourn well

That whole package of practices we can, and should, embrace is an absolute cinch to take us out of ourselves (after all, we are our own worst enemies) and cause us to focus more on others in a Christ like way.  If we do that our lives won’t have the rhythm of bad rap music (out of control) or a poem without rhythm (which doesn’t make sense).  Instead, our lives will have purpose and beauty, and we will have a deeper understanding and appreciation not only of ourselves, but of others. We will have good rhythm.

There's Got to be Rhythm: Learn to Celebrate

           This is the final step in getting good rhythm into your life.  Learning to celebrate and mourn well is the capstone of a life with rhythm.  We humans often have trouble celebrating (especially the small “stuff”), and we certainly aren’t very well (equipped or otherwise) at mourning.  Hey, we’re generally pretty good at mourning our own personal stuff, often to the extreme that others would call it being on the pity pot and not wanting to get off of it. 

For the sake of this discussion, celebrating refers to the small stuff which really isn’t small stuff—though we tend to treat it that way:

·         like every single time we catch ourselves standing tall against temptation

·         standing up for Jesus in a situation when we otherwise might not,

·         when we suddenly realize we just had one of those “Yea God” moments

·         when it dawns on us that God’s hand was just in that situation we faced

·         etc.

If we learn to celebrate the small stuff in our lives, we will soon find ourselves being able to really celebrate what is going on in the lives of others around us.  As we learn to celebrate our lives, we learn to celebrate the lives of others.

One of the hardest times for us is when it is time to mourn—for and with others.  We often just don’t know what to say or do.  That said, we appreciate it deeply when we are in a bad situation and another person comes to us with compassion oozing out of him and says “I just want you to know that I’m here for you in your difficult time” or something honest like that.  All we need to do to mourn well is to be open and honest as we acknowledge and walk with others in their dark times.

Bottom Line Thought:  Celebrating life and mourning well is yet another tool we can use to achieve that good rhythm in our lives.  Do you celebrate?  Do you mourn well?

There's Got to be Rhythm: Serve Others

           Our church is a strong proponent of Community Groups, and actively encourages participation in them.  Often they are called Small Groups.  Our group is a group which was established specifically to reach the broken man and help him through his struggles to become a better man with specific emphasis on becoming a Christ follower.  It’s a dynamic group of men of all ages whose brokenness range from addictions (you name it, it’s there), to sexual orientation issues, to Christian men who struggle daily with their faith as they walk the walk of life, to seekers looking to fill that dark hole within them.

There’s a common thread which runs throughout the group.  All of the men realize that staying within one’s self is the worst possible thing they can do.  Transparency and accountability are recognized (and practiced as a group) as the best “cure” for not staying within one’s self.  All of the men grasp the fact that our minds are dangerous playgrounds where we have no business being alone.

Another common thread is that each individual could have it a lot worse.  Most need only to look at their pasts to verify that.  Most also recognize that because someone served, perhaps in some seemingly insignificant way, their life was changed.  In that vein, this year the group decided to serve others in some and therefore dedicated a minimum of one evening a month to serving at a homeless shelter.  This was not done as a “feel good, do good” effort, but indeed as a need to serve others less fortunate effort. 

When one gets into the Word, it doesn’t take long for one to realize that that was exactly what Jesus was all about—serving others.  If we are going to walk the walk, and just not talk the talk, it behooves us to serve others, and especially those less fortunate, out of love, making it a mission in our lives.  Serving others takes out way out of ourselves.  It opens our hearts to the real reason for being a Christ follower.

Bottom Line Thought:  Are you currently serving others?  If so, is it out of genuine compassion for others or is it a “feel good, do good” effort?  If you aren’t serving, why not?

There's Got to be Rhythm: Be Hospitable

           Most folks I know enjoy mealtimes.  Mealtimes can be special times.  If we aren’t all caught up with carry-out or delivered food, or eating on the run, most of us find mealtimes to be relaxing friendly times.  They seem to have the propensity to bring out good conversation, a relaxed atmosphere, and cordiality.  Mealtimes allow a family to gather themselves together where eating can be mixed with catching up, enjoying each other, and sharing with each other.

We will often go out to eat with other couples.  Never once have there been arguments, disagreements, harsh words, tempers displayed or anything of the sort.  Rather, those mealtimes actually seem to embolden realness about people.  Pretenses seem to drop a bit, and conversation becomes more personal in nature, healthily so.  The same happens when we invite folks to the home for a dinner get-together.

Thanksgiving at most homes is the same way.  The family, sometimes the extended family, and perhaps even a few “strays” all sit together to eat.  The scene is warm, kind, relaxed, conversational (indeed, maybe 6 different ones going at the same time), and friendly.

Realizing and knowing the normal dynamics of meals and mealtimes, how often do we seize the opportunity to be spontaneously hospitable?  How often do we just stop and take someone out for a donut and coffee, or a lunch, or invite them into our homes for a meal—for no particular reason other than to be with them.  By neglecting to do so, by not being hospitable, could we not be missing out on an opportunity to perhaps learn something from that other person(s), or perhaps miss a chance to be a witness to those others?  It seems to me that Christ never missed out on an opportunity to mingle with others, ever over food, and look at what He accomplished.  It’s all in the table!

Bottom Line Thought:  How intentionally and spontaneously hospitable are you?  Have you considered that by being more hospitable (open) than you might be now could open doors that have been closed for others?

There's Got to be Rhythm: Seek God

           Let’s cut to the chase here:

·         if you’re looking for rhythm in your life as a man, a husband, and/or a father,

·         if you’re really trying to be more Christ like,

·         if you’re serious about your spiritual life, and

·         if you are tired of that emptiness you feel,

then you can’t sit idly on your laurels waiting for it all to happen.  It won’t unless you do what needs to be done.  None of the above happens by osmosis, nor does it rub off on to you from other people.  Yep, big boy, you’re going to have to work at it yourself.

Men who have successfully become real men have done so by doing, on a regular basis, one thing—seeking God.  That is to say, they position themselves so that God will reveal Himself to them.  They regularly (as in daily) get into the Word, and they regularly (as in daily) pray.  We can believe in God all we want, but unless we develop a rock solid relationship with Him by actively seeking Him out, we will never reach our full potential as Godly men and Christ like followers.  It takes effort, time, and commitment on our part.  We need to constantly fight laziness and complacency if we are to be successful in our efforts to seek God.  We need to constantly train ourselves, and the only way to do that is to, well, do it—get into the Word daily and pray regularly.  There are no shortcuts.

It’s like a job.  Whatever your job is, it required time, training, effort, regularity, and commitment to learn it.  The more time you spent, the more training and effort you put into it, the more commitment you made to your efforts, the better you knew your job.

To seek God is to seek something bigger than ourselves.  Seeking God through the Word and prayer will help us to release the stranglehold we have on our own wills as we will begin to see that His will may not coincide with our will, and that it is His will that will lead us through this pathway of life towards a greater reward than we could ever imagine.

Bottom Line Thought:  Can you yield your will to God’s will by actively and regularly seeking His will for you? 

There's Got to be Rhythm: Seek Beauty

Beauty in our lives is often a conundrum.  We are barraged by all forms of media to be beautiful people and/or have beautiful things.  Often captured by most of us in seeing or hearing those messages is the implied “or else”.  Simply put, we are sublimely told that if we aren’t beautiful, or don’t have beautiful things we are somehow second rate or not as good as others.  The power of advertising!

Referring to people, there is an old saying that says “beauty is only skin deep”.  There is great truth in that.  I would guess that we have all run across people who were beautiful, and who had beautiful things.  In some cases those folks were downright ugly human beings.  Their actions completely destroyed the fact that there might be goodness within them. 

I once heard someone say something about a dog.  “He has a face only a mother can love”.  It was an ugly appearing dog, but that dog was so loyal, gentle, and faithful that the beauty within it far outshone his lack of beauty on the outside.

That’s the kind of beauty we are to seek if we are to be more Christ like in our efforts to be better men, husbands, and fathers.  We need to make a concerted effort to look at the beauty in the hearts of other people and not their status, looks, position, or circumstances.  We need to actively seek those diamonds in the rough.  By seeking beauty, we will automatically start to free ourselves of the biases and prejudices we may hold, even if we are unaware of them.  We will become more open, and we will start to see at an even greater level just how similar we all are, even with our myriad differences.  We are, after all, all humans, and we all have hearts, and it is that beauty of the heart that we need to be seeking if we are going to be more Christ like.

Seeking beauty in others will also serve to taking ourselves out of ourselves.

Bottom Line Thought: Do you struggle with self-centeredness?  Are you self absorbed in your own issues and circumstances that you often fail to see the beauty in others?

There’s Got to be Rhythm: Be Kind

           Maybe I’m the happy optimist, but I really think that most folks have a kindness streak in them, and that most of those most actually do things of a kind nature every once in a while.  It makes us feel good to do kind things doesn’t it?  That said, I also believe that when it comes to us men it’s a little bit more difficult to let that kindness show through our crusty facades.  And, that’s a problem.

If we really want to get that good rhythm in our lives, men have to realize how much they appreciate acts of kindness toward them, especially very unexpected acts of kindness—the ones that come out of nowhere.  We not only have to realize that, but then we have to make the determination to be kind ourselves toward others.  And, to fully experience getting that rhythm into our lives don’t you think we must, absolutely must, bring it to the next level?

·                     We need to be intentional in our kindness, not just responsive.

·                     We need to be radical in our kindness, not just routine.

·                     We need to be diligent in seeing kindness opportunities.

·                     We need to be very humble in our kindness efforts.

Nothing we as men can do will have more impact on our spouses, children, friends, associates, and strangers than our becoming kind men.  By being naturally kind, we will be emulating one of the most commonly recognized traits of Christ.  We will automatically become more other-focused, and it will become more routine with each passing day.  It will become a large part of the good rhythm of our lives.

Bottom Line Thought:  Are you kind, or are you crazy kind?  Do you wait for opportunities to be kind, or do you go out of your way to look for them?  Is your kindness a part of your façade, or is it genuine?

There's Got to be Rhythm: Practice Authenticity

If a man is going to have any semblance of rhythm in his life at all, he’s got to get real.  Being real isn’t a response to Dr. Phil.  It’s trying to live a life of authenticity, one in which we are transparent, open, and honest about ourselves.  It’s about living our lives in such a manner that our warts show, one in which we don’t try to hide them.  It’s about being the real us regardless of the circumstances, good or bad, which affect our lives each and every day. 

Being real is a tall order.  It’s not always easy, especially when it comes to our brokenness.  It’s not easy to acknowledge that we are screw-ups, or that we have messed up bad.  It’s hard talking about the sin in our lives.  It is something we don’t want to talk about to anyone, right?

Why is that?  I suggest that we are our own worst enemies.  We are harder on ourselves than anyone else is.  We may think that our sin would blow “our cover”—that persona we have tried so hard to create for others to see.  We may think that we are the only one within our circle that does “that”.  Our sin might just be such a habit that we just know that the cycle cannot be broken, no matter what we do.

Here’s the deal men--let’s start with the premise that God knows all of our sin, every little bit of it.  Being real and being authentic is to know that God loves you in spite of that sin.  Being real and authentic isn’t in hiding behind the façade you have so carefully crafted.  It’s in being honest and open about yourself with those with whom you are close (a small group is an excellent example).  It’s in trusting that just as you would help them through their sin, they would help you through yours, and together you would hold each other accountable as each of you grow.

It is through authenticity that we become real men.  It is through being real men that we become free, fully free, to grow and become the men we really want to be, the men Christ would have us become.

Bottom Line Thought:  Is the sin in your life one of your stumbling blocks to freedom as a man?  Is the façade you have created a stopper?

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There's got to be rhythm !

        Have you ever heard music (real music) without rhythm?  Oh, I'm sure there is some around, just as I imagine that there will be those around who would say it was "really cool" music.  It's just not in my wheelhouse, nor that of many, many others I would guess. 

Have you ever read poetry where there was no discernible rhythm?  I do know that it’s around, and has been.....but I never really enjoyed reading poetry without a rhythm.  It would be the same as a poem without a rhyme to me...just not nice. 

In both cases, in my mind and probably that of many others, either music or poetry without rhythm just doesn't come across as making a lot of sense.  It sounds or looks out of whack, out of sync.  It sounds forced and looks like it rambles.  I think the majority would agree that both music and poetry need rhythm, not only to make sense, but to be pleasurable.

Our lives need rhythm.  Inwardly I think we crave rhythm.  We have an inborn sense that rhythm is, or should be, a natural consequence of being alive.  Let’s face it, in reality isn’t life itself part of nature’s natural rhythm?  There are seasons, there are days followed by night, there is light followed by dark, there are life cycles.  We live with rhythm.

Rhythm should not only be a natural part of our lives, but our intentional choice as we live those lives.  By making an intentional effort to put, and keep, positive rhythm into our lives on a regular basis, we can avoid living in a rut (the offspring of negative rhythm).  Living with positive rhythm frees us to live “the good life” regardless of the current circumstances we may face.

Bottom Line Thought:  Think about what might constitute a positive rhythm in your life, one that will help you be a better man, husband, and father.  In the next 7 days we will discuss those rhythm makers.