True story. It started out as a pleasant evening, with plans to do the cooking outside on the grill. A simple meal made nice by nice weather and calm. Until. Until he made a simple passing comment about a news clip that had just showed on the TV as he walked past it. A comment made with no sarcasm, no inflections, no swearing, no accusations of any kind, no nothing....just a comment. It should have been the end of it as it was, in no way, directed at her or her beliefs. It was simply about how silly it seemed that folks who put pickles on hamburgers...fast food workers....were striking to gain attention to their (and the SEIU) quest to get $15.00 an hour for what is mostly considered an entry level job. That was it.
It apparently struck a nerve. A raw one, because what ensued was just pure ugly. She took off like a Harley on nitro....verbally. It was loud, profane, accusatory, and most of all unnecessary and senseless. He was in shock because he felt quite attacked for expressing a non-threatening opinion, completely lacking any racial and/or gender implications. He felt belittled, disrespected, and was profoundly shocked by the reaction. Moreover, he felt senselessly attacked for making a comment.
His reaction after shock was anger. Pure, unadulterated (and uncensored) anger. He bit his tongue, to his credit, because he knew if he opened up the yapper things would fly out that best remained left unsaid. Sadly, he did the grilling of the brats while his temper also seethed. His thoughts were decidedly not nice, nor charitable. The thoughts about her that ran through his mind as he seethed were very much on the slippery slope of worse than bad....they were horrible. Then the problem compounded because he knew he was thinking terrible things and some of the anger turned toward himself. He found himself in an awful mad cycle. Being mad at both at the same time is rugged. It's an ugly terrain to navigate.
The uglies in his mind continued most of the evening. The hurt and anger he felt far preceded any sense of civility as the evening progressed. Finally it was time to walk the dog for his evening chore of fertilizing the neighborhood trees and shrubbery. While walking, he started praying. Out loud. The ugliness continued into his conversation with God. The venom in the mind spewed out....in language best known to dock workers and sailors. And yet he prayed anyway, extolling God that he just wanted to share exactly what he was feeling about his wife and himself....exactly as it was, somehow sensing that God was already quite aware of the situation. And when he went to bed a short time later, he continued to pray....simply asking for calm, for a release from all of the bad thoughts, for a softer heart, for just a feeling of love from Him. He was praying blood as he prayed.
It must have worked. He fell asleep praying. He woke up calm, and actually happy and at peace. He knew that it was good that he had shared the ugliest he had to offer, the full 3-D version, with a God who is always there...no matter what. Even when he was praying blood.
Have you ever prayed blood? You can, you know.
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