Guarding Your Heart

If you dig up something in life that's painful or ugly, throw it away. That means to process it, mourn it, heal it, grieve it, repent of it, or whatever it takes to work it out of your system.  You are growing a garden in your heart; some things you wish to increase, and others you need to weed out. Either way requires caretaking. That's your job as guardian of your heart.

Regrets

I've got a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts - you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn't do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing.  ~D.D. Barant



Regrets, as relates to our pasts, are generally defined along the lines of this: as a verb—to be very sorry for, and as a noun—sorrow which is aroused by circumstances beyond one’s control or power to repair. 


About Me: During an interesting discussion with a friend, the topic of regrets came up. The person was quite emphatic and expounded on how much he regretted many of the things he had done in his past. He’s a godly man and his remarks rather surprised me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was focusing a lot of his attention on his past as opposed to the beautiful man he had become in part because of his past.


When he asked me how I felt about my past (he knows many of the sordid details) I shared that I don’t have any regrets from it. I explained that for a good length of time I did live with regrets, and that during that time I was an unhappy person because I was focusing on the bad me, the old me, and not what I had become or the me that I could yet become. To me, living with regrets was like carrying a heavy old worn suitcase that keeps opening, allowing everything to spill out. I continued, sharing my belief that God knew me before I was born, He knew every hair on my head, and thus He was perfectly aware of the paths I would take in my life. And, during my travels on those paths, some of which were certainly not nice, good, or right, how I firmly believe that His hand was all over me then, just as it is now. He protected others from me, He protected me from others, and He protected me from me—just as He still does and always will. I explained that when all of that is all connected with the fact that I believe firmly that God’s plan for me has been a constant thing since before my inception, if I regretted my past I would, in effect, be regretting God’s presence in my life. Then I shared my final thought—God, the potter, has been molding me for my entire existence, and while I may not always know what He’s doing, it’s a sure-fire fact that He does. To regret anything would be the same as thumbing my nose at Him. Finally, I shared that while I certainly wasn’t happy about the bad things I have done, I can look at them as lessons learned during the course of growing up spiritually, something that bodes well in transparently presenting myself as an example of what God can do with a lump of clay.

By having faith in the true power of what God’s grace means for all of us, none of us must be bound by regrets over our past.


What About You: Are you able to see beyond your past and set it aside to better enable you to see and appreciate what God has done in your life? If you are carrying a suitcase full of regrets, might the weight of it be limiting the you that you can be? Try to enjoy the fact that your past defines you only if you want it to, and that you do have the choice not to allow it to. You are the you of today, not yesterday.





We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.     ~Steve Maraboli

Book Update

Since the new book is so close to completion, it was time to get another detail out of the way....taking the pictures for the front and back cover.  Below is the update put on the Facebook page.

A Better Man, Husband, Father Doing Life Better God's Way

Just now ·

Book update: Yessssssss! We managed to get in the photoshoot for the front and back covers of the book today, as well as some necessary shots of the author (moi). Kelly rocked it! She's our furbaby that will be sharing the honors with me on the cover. We found a wonderful location full of fall colors for the shoot, which was done by a wonderfully talented local photographer out of Hampshire, Miss Morgan Kukovic. I look forward to seeing the edited and tweaked assortment of shots from which to pick for the book. That will be a hard choice from what I saw on the camera.

Can you relate?

The last thing I want you to see in me is my vulnerability.

The first thing I want to see in you is your vulnerability.

We want to live behind one way mirrors.

We don't want to live behind clear panes of glass.

12 Key Phrases for Husbands and Future Husbands

Husbands and future fathers---some words of wisdom I read that stung--because this old goat did NOT pay enough attention to the thought in earlier years.  It's something that we should be more intentional about saying, meaning, and doing.

12 Key Phrases that should always be on the tip of our tongue. If they are there, then they are in our hearts.

1) I've already taken care of it.

2) It's already been paid.

3) I've made plans for us.

4) Let's finish the conversation.

5) How does that make you feel?

6) Go enjoy yourself, Ill take care of things here.

7) I've given you my word, and it will get done.

8) How can I better love you?

9) I've already called and made arrangements.

10) I apologize for the way I made you feel.

11) I was praying for you this morning and......

12) That's not your job, I'll take care of it.

Tomorow

Stop at the end of these next few sentences and just sit quietly. Perhaps close your eyes. Block out any distraction. Get yourself quiet. It won't take long at all for this. Still your mind and just be. After you reach that quiet mode, think about tomorrow--nothing else. 

Do that now, and do NOT read any further until you have done that please.















Ok, you thought about tomorrow. What was the very first thought you had about tomorrow?  Take 5 seconds and write it down now, and then continue reading.








Whatever first thought you wrote down, did it somehow allude to the thought that you could be dead tomorrow? It's true isn't it? Any of us could be, and we just don't know. We have no way of knowing what God has in store for us.


The moral of this little exercise is simply to drive home the point that we should live our eulogy each day because it could be our last. I would much rather live today knowing that I tried to live it as God would have me live it than bank on the fact that I'll be around tomorrow.  What about you?

Haloween

Something to think about:

Halloween is just around the corner, so perhaps a reminder is not a bad thing. How about, if you are inclined to as I often was in the past, not grousing at the older kids who come to your door on Halloween? Why? Isn't it perhaps better that they are out just being kids than maybe out doing things that aren't all that okay? What about the possibility that the one that comes to your door could be a not so obvious special needs kid, albeit an older kid? I just feel better taking the high road as opposed to snarling at them "you're too old" to be out trick or treating. Kindness goes further than growling. Just my 2 cents.

One of "those moments".

They don't happen often. That’s probably because we are too into the moment (or ourselves) to pick up on them. Or, we're too busy, our minds are racing, or maybe we're simply not tuned in. But when we get one of "those moments”, we know it because it comes at us like a lightning bolt.

About Me: One of “those moments” came to me recently as I was driving to work, and like many of those moments, it came out of the blue. There was no catalytic reason, no logical or precipitating reason--it just popped into my head. It affected my heart (as "those" moments tend to do), and it had a major positive impact on me for the rest of the day.

My moment came when I realized that my outlook on life is vastly different now that I am a committed believer in Jesus Christ. I don't live like I used to, and I know just how awesomely blessed I am. My moment felt like a huge, warm, fuzzy comfort coat was wrapped around me, and as the day progressed it stayed on me. It was a normal day in all other aspects, but “that moment” made it truly special. Wouldn't it be awesome if we were capable as humans of living "those moments” 24/7/365?

What About You: Maybe you're not a Christ-follower, but do you have “those moments” from time to time?  Do you cherish them as specials? Do you find yourself wishing it would happen more often?  Just what is it that makes them happen to us? It’s “those moments” that often remind us that we can be in tune with all that God wants us to be.

Encouraging Words: Isiah 43:2, Romans 15:13, Deuteronomy 28:1-68

How many times have you noticed that it’s the little quiet moments

in the midst of life that seem to give the rest extra-special meaning?

~Fred Rogers

He's God

He’s not an “I told you so” kind of God.

He’s a

“Come here,

welcome home.

I’ll fix you,

I love you,

my grace never runs out,

just believe that it’s enough”

kind of God.

He’s God!

~unknown

Make Better, Better

The Spirit wants to make you threatening to all the forces of injustice

and apathy and complacency that keep our world from flourishing.

~John Ortberg

 “That’s good enough.”

“Well, I’ve done my best, I can’t get it better than that.”

Sound familiar? How often do we make those statements? Aren’t the terms an indicator of complacency?  Doesn’t complacency often lead to apathy? Isn’t apathy one of the devil’s hand tools?

Most folks I know are better people than the people they were in earlier chapters of their lives. They got to their better standard by not being complacent, and certainly not apathetic, about themselves or their lives.  When we run into that wall we label a “rut” it’s a good sign when we know we don’t want to fall into the trap of complacency and eventual apathy. I’ve been there and done that, and it was an ugly climb back to becoming my better person. 

Our hope as rational people should always be to make better better. We should never be satisfied. Striving always to make better better, and living that out in our spiritual life, will extend itself into the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of life. We will become people who make better better.

About Me: My rut was living a sinful, irresponsible life. A key component of my thinking during those times was “I can’t be better than I am.” I was resigned to being that person who I was at the time. It was only when I started to address my spiritual sickness that those other areas of my life started to heal as well. I know this wasn’t accomplished on my own. It was the work of the Holy Spirit within me and of others who did His earthly handywork on me, thus causing my better to become better. By the way, it didn’t happen overnight. He had to put in a lot of overtime!

What About You: Do you settle for less than your absolute best when it comes to your spiritual life? You can rest assured that Jesus, our prime example of how to live, was never complacent, never apathetic. Can you give thought to how you can move forward when those attitudes present themselves in your life?

Encouraging Words: Proverbs 1:32, Revelations 3:15-16, Hebrews 5:11-12

The world needs Christians who don’t tolerate the complacency of their lives.

~Francis Chan

Life is Like a Cup of Coffee

As believers, our reaction to crisis reveals our heart toward God.

~Andrena Sawyer

To many of us, a cup of coffee (or two or three) in the morning is what jump starts our day. Health matters aside, it’s the “gold standard” of the “get up, get moving, get going” process many of us think we need as we begin our days. While some of us can’t imagine starting the day without coffee, others can’t imagine starting the day with it. It’s a matter of personal choice. Likewise, life itself is a matter of many choices.

Imagine that you’re holding that cup of coffee (yeah, for this segment, I’m just going to assume all you readers are coffee junkies) and someone bumps into you, causing the liquid to spill. Why did the coffee spill? It spilled because it was what was in your cup when you were bumped.

In life, we’re that cup. When life happens, as it always does, and we get bumped, whatever is inside the “us” cup is going to spill out in some way. When we experience the little bumps, we are usually adept at taking it and faking it gracefully. However, when it’s a hard bump, we get rattled. We’ve got to know how to handle what’s in our cup. When we get those hard bumps, will joy, gratefulness, peace, and humility spill out? Or do harsh words, bad reactions, anger, and bitterness pour out? What spills out is an indication of how the heart acts as a lid on our emotional cups. When it senses harsh or hateful responses to whatever the situation, it needs to stay on tightly to deter the negatives from spilling out. But when it senses gratitude, joy, kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, affirming words, and unconditional love for others—not always easy—it is happy to get flipped off the cup in order to allow myriad goodness to spill out.

About Me: Perhaps one of the most difficult battles I have faced over the years is changing what spills out of my cup when life bumps me. I know how terrible and sinful my spillage can be. I am so grateful that my spiritual journey has brought me to the point that when spillage happens and I feel my response will come out in a very bad way, I can’t just let it pass. I acknowledge that I just messed up and that I need to address it properly right then and there. I enjoy that little bit of progress.

What About You:  When your cup spills, do you later find yourself lamenting your reaction?  When it spills, consider the effect that what pours out will have on those around you. The more you practice, the better those spills to come will be.

Encouraging Words: Psalm 139:23

You will come across obstacles in life—fair and unfair. And you will discover,

time and time again, that what matters most is not what these obstacles are

but how we see them, how we react to them, and whether we keep our composure.

You will learn that this reaction determines how successful we will be in overcoming—

or possibly thriving because of—them.

~Ryan Holiday

Great Big Cow

 It is about the greatness of God, not the significance of man.

God made man small and the universe big to say something about himself.

~John Piper

For the past three years I have been blown away by something I see every morning at work. I often stop simply to stare at it, because I have been utterly amazed. It is a cow. Not just any cow, but a great big cow. An overwhelmingly huge cow that hangs out with four other normal sized cows at the farm next to where I work. The difference in size between them is stunning, mind-boggling. One just doesn’t see great big cows of that extreme very often.


About Me: As I stopped to stare at the great big cow one recent morning when a beautiful sunrise painted the sky as a backdrop, my thoughts moved to something else that is huge beyond description. That something is our God. Who but a great big God made that beautiful sunrise for me to see? Who but a great big God made this body that I inhabit, the one that breathes on its own, the one whose heart has pumped regularly and rhythmically for all these years? Who but a great big God made me and gave me life I all too often take for granted?

Yes, I thought, that is one great big cow I’m looking at, but nowhere near as big as the great big God who created both it and me. I concluded that cow and I have something in common. Neither of us is as big as our great big God, nor as timeless. He’s forever, we’re not. And He’s the one who made us both.


What About You: Do you take your last breath and your next breath for granted, that it “just happens”? How often do your thoughts drift to God, the source, the real source, of all you see, do, and are? Is your God a great big God?


Encouraging Words: Jeremiah 23:23-24; Psalm 90:2; Jeremiah 32:17; Psalm 139:14

Jesus Eyes

 

When you die, whatever you have done for yourself goes to the grave with you.

What you have done for others, lives on.

~Unknown

At times I have wondered about Jesus’s eyes when He was here on earth? It would be interesting to know if they were blue, green, or perhaps steel grey. I can only guess if they were widespread eyes or close. And while I know that at times in His life, they were likely sad, how were Jesus’ eyes most of the time—piercing, soft, sharp, fully focused or what? Were they cautious and wary, or perhaps steady and assured?

The fact is, none of that matters, does it? None of it is important. I’ve come to realize that the thing about Jesus’s eyes for us all to consider is the things that He not only saw, but, more importantly, how He responded when He saw those things:

• He saw the differences in people. But He saw them deeper than I often do—He saw their hearts first.
• He saw the weaknesses and faults in people. And, He always saw opportunity for teaching and spiritual healing in them—something I often fail to do.
• He saw the differing status of people, yet He saw them all as equals. My biases and prejudices aren’t always held in check.
• He never failed to see pain and suffering, and His focus was on compassion and healing for everyone He came across. My self-absorption can detract from empathy for the plight of others.
• He saw homelessness, hunger, and hardship. He not only saw the need for provision, He provided. Me, too often I look the other way and find a way to justify stinginess.
• He saw divisiveness and He stressed the need for unity. How many times have I fed divisiveness instead of brokering unity?  Too many.

Yes, I still have plenty of work to do because I don’t have Jesus eyes.

What about you?          

My Responsibilities

I have a lot of responsibilities--

                                                                                   My words

                                                  Words of others  

                                      My behavior            My actions

                               Others behavior               Others actions

                          My efforts                                   My mistakes

                     Others efforts                                  Others mistakes

                         My decisions                              My choices

                              Others decisions     Others choices

                                                      My beliefs

                                                 Others beliefs

Just taking care of my own business

Make someone happy today and mind your own business.

~Ann Landers

One of "Those Moments"

They don't happen often. That’s probably because we are too into the moment (or ourselves) to pick up on them. Or, we're too busy, our minds are racing, or maybe we're simply not tuned in. But when we get one of "those moments”, we know it because it comes at us like a lightning bolt.

About Me: One of “those moments” came to me recently as I was driving to work, and like many of those moments, it came out of the blue. There was no catalytic reason, no logical or precipitating reason--it just popped into my head. It affected my heart (as "those" moments tend to do), and it had a major positive impact on me for the rest of the day.

My moment came when I realized that my outlook on life is vastly different now that I am a committed believer in Jesus Christ. I don't live like I used to, and I know just how awesomely blessed I am. My moment felt like a huge, warm, fuzzy comfort coat was wrapped around me, and as the day progressed it stayed on me. It was a normal day in all other aspects, but “that moment” made it truly special. Wouldn't it be awesome if we were capable as humans of living "those moments” 24/7/365?

What About You: Maybe you're not a Christ-follower, but do you have “those moments” from time to time?  Do you cherish them as specials? Do you find yourself wishing it would happen more often?  Just what is it that makes them happen to us? It’s “those moments” that often remind us that we can be in tune with all that God wants us to be.

Encouraging Words: Isiah 43:2, Romans 15:13, Deuteronomy 28:1-68

How many times have you noticed that it’s the little quiet moments

in the midst of life that seem to give the rest extra-special meaning?

~Fred Rogers

I Am

I am human.

I am a child of God.

I am not perfect.

I am incapable of being perfect.

I am always short of the glory of God.

I am a sinner.

I am a repentant sinner.

I am convinced that Christ died for my sin.

I am a believer.

I am a receiver of God’s grace.

I am free.

About Me: I am, and I thank God I am.

What About You:  Are you? Why not?  What are your “I aim’s” for which you can thank God? Each of us has I am’s.

Encouraging Words: John 14:6

This spoke to me

There are so many times when I will read something and it will really grab me. This is one of those. I was writing at the time and doing some research and came across it. 

Many choose to become Christians because they think it will make life easier.

Jesus warned that it would actually make life far more difficult. Paul promised

the same. God has called us to far more than attending church and raising

nice children. We are in a race, a fight, a war. Those who decide to follow

Jesus have signed themselves up for a life of suffering. The solution is

not to dodge trials but to persevere through them.

~Francis Chan

What If

Short and sweet. What if—when we met someone (anyone, any time, friend or stranger) we didn’t say just “good morning”, “hi”, “hello” or any of the normal greetings we terminally offer? What if—we upped the ante just a bit and stepped out of the box, the routine, the normal? In fact, what if we step up the game in a big way? Try this and catch the looks!

“Good morning, Child of God”

“Pleased to meet you, Child of God”

“Welcome, Child of God”

Etc.

There would be looks of surprise. There would be looks of shock. There would be looks of wonder. Yes, there would be plenty of looks. There would be acceptance of this weird new way of greeting, and, yes, there would be rejection.

Jesus looked upon everybody as a Child of God. We are told throughout the bible that we all are God’s children. If we accept that and act in such a manner that we recognize everyone as a one of God’s precious children, why not change our manner of greeting them or responding to them? That’s just bold! But, through that new and unusual method of greeting, couldn’t our hearts and behavior, in time, change—perhaps more than we could envision? Who knows, perhaps the hearts of the recipients might also change because of those three added words at the end of our greetings?

Perhaps when Jesus said “feed my sheep” to Simon Peter, it was a message that we could take more than literally. I think we forget that sheep are always hungry. Some just don’t know it yet, and those three words, along with some occasional unexpected kindness could possibly awaken those sheep and begin their feeding process for the Lord.

  

Encouraging Words:  John 21:15-19

Our Default

Electronic devices these days come with settings known as default. Default settings are pre-set at the factories when they are made and are simply basic settings so that the devices will run. The devices operate just fine with those settings. Typically, the owner will, over time, change the settings to better adapt the devices to what the owner wants them to do—how they want them to act or perform. In other words, they customize the settings to suit their tastes. I’ve done that as well with all my devices.

We humans come with a default. Our default has been with us since we were born, just as it has with every person born since Adam and Eve’s decision to do their own thing in the Garden of Eden. It’s the sinful nature we each have within us—our brokenness.

Some of us live in default mode. Some have figured out, or learned, that that is not how God wants us to live so they begin to change their settings. God want us to live a holy and godly life. If our settings are changed, we can change. A few of those settings are how we think, speak, relate to others, act, and how we believe. The more we change those settings, the more godly and holy we become. Unfortunately, due to our nature as fallen humans, there are times that we go back into our default mode and sin.

Our default mode is Satan’s pleasure. Our settings are God’s way of providing us a way of denying him that pleasure. It’s our lifelong job to be aware of those settings and to keep adjusting them so as to continuously act and perform in a manner pleasing to Him.

A Saturday Smile

Our Christian walk is serious business. So serious, in fact, that it truly is a life and death matter. I believe that some are, unfortunately, too serious about it because it seems to have robbed them of their sense of humor. Whenever I interact with a humorless Christian my mind goes to a famous piece of art and the two folks painted as the subjects of American Gothic, by artist Grant Wood.

I believe that it is a natural and integral part of our being to have a sense of humor. I believe we were made that way, that it was part of Gods plan for each of us. If indeed that is the case, then that also leads me to believe that God himself had a sense of humor. That said, it is we humans, and it is because of our brokenness, that our sense of humor is skewed. It goes places that it is best not going to. God's sense of humor, however, is perfect, because He is perfect.

Who could possibly think that God didn't have a sense of humor after reading about Baalam and the Talking Donkey in the Bible story contained in Numbers chapter 22?  Check it out.

Now--a Saturday Smile:


The more that time passes in my Christian walk, I find that the more I know I know the more I don’t know. And the more I don’t know, the more perplexing it is to know that I don’t know what I don’t know.  Knowing that I don’t know what I don’t know itself becomes a bit of a challenge. Kind of makes my head want to explode sometimes.

                                                      ~Joe Miller

Yes He is !

He’s God

He’s not an “I told you so” kind of God.

He’s a

“Come here,

welcome home.

I’ll fix you,

I love you,

my grace never runs out,

just believe that it’s enough”

kind of God.

He’s God!

~unknown

Transition--to, from-to, back-to

Six hundred and fifty three posts ago I started the transition from journaling to blogging--this blog. Once the transition became complete, it became obvious to me that it wasn't yet a complete transition because I was bitten by the bug to write a book. It simply seemed to be a natural progression in my writing endeavors.

I hooked up with Xulon Publishers, a Christian publishing firm, and wrote my first book, A Better Man, Husband, Father, which was published in mid-2015. Much of the material in that book was material that had been used in this blog. In that book, I alluded to the fact that much of my thoughts and inspirational ideas came as I was out walking our dog. Being out with him seemed, in fact, to be my "happy place" where my thinking was unencumbered and my heart was calm.

It wasn't long after the first book came out that I started to entertain the thought of writing a second book. There was a whole lot of material left that wasn't used in the first one, so why not put it to use, I thought. I still had a dog to walk, I still had all my faculties, and there were still life things to contemplate. Then a funny thing happened. Life got in the way. Oh, I still wrote articles--but I didn't post them here.  In fact, I all but ignored the blog. I found myself getting more and more involved in other forms of social media. Over the past three years it became excessive, and I found myself involved with way too much drama, way too much stuff, way too much narcissism, you name it. I had transitioned from this to that, and I found, ultimately, that I didn't like it. It wasn't the me that I want to be.

So now I have transitioned back to blogging. I'm off social media except for a bare few Christian sites. Since transitioning away from social media, the thoughts and ideas for this next book have literally been pouring out of my head as I walk the dog. It only seems fitting that the title will be, Dog Walk Talk; when I'm walking, God's talking. I'll write more on that over the next few days.

In the meantime, it's good to be back where I belong, and away from the drama, etc. that I embraced for way too long.