Undo Me

"Undo Me"  could be a modern day entry into Psalms.  It addresses an inward struggle many of us may have felt....or perhaps are feeling.  It boldly and openly speaks of a struggle most would have a hard time articulating to someone else, and it can be a crazy maker.

I don’t really worship these days
I don’t really stand up to praise you with songs
Or prayers or actions
or with anything
I am full of all the right moves
I am full of all the right words
I am full of all the right religion
But it is all just illusion
I am really
Lonely
Lost
Calloused
Jaded
Cynical
Too religious
Too realistic
and well really just too lazy
to worship you anymore
I have lost my first love
I have lost the joy of your presence
But most of all I have lost the fear of your glory

Father I need to see you again
Like Isaiah I want to stand in awe of your glory
To fall down at your feet
To come face to face with your
Perfection,
Radiance,
Goodness,
Holiness,
Awesomeness
I want to stand before you and see you for who you are
and me for who I am
I want to be undone

I want to know me for who I really am
I want to see the depths of my heart
And know that you are the only way
You are the only truth
You are the only life
I want to see me and understand
What it really must have taken for you to
Love me
Care for me
See me
Speak to me
Want me
Communicate with me
Die for me
Die for me
Die for me

Lord, I want to stand in that place where all I can see is your glory
And my sin
Because in that place I can’t help but worship you.
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
Lord, undo my heart
break down these walls that I love so much
No, wait don’t,
I’m scared I don’t know if I can handle this
Don’t
But I can’t live this way anymore
I can’t stand here in this half-life
this going through the motions life
this not really alive life
Father, I need you... so come in and do what you must
Cut out the tumor on my heart
Break down the walls that I love
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
let me worship you again

*Blake Williams

The hole

We all have made bad choices along the way.  Some of us may make the same bad choices several times.  As follows is a story about bad choices.

1. I walk down the street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I am lost...I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. I fall in. It takes forever to find a way out.

2. I walk down the street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But, it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

3. I walk down the street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there. I still fall in...it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

4. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

5. I walk down another street.

 

 by Portia Nelson

 

 

Love

Ten simple little ways to love.....just ten.  The truth is, as a man, husband, and father just how consistent am in any of the ten, let alone any single one?  And what kind of man would I be were I to be fully committed and consistent in living by the ten?  How about you?

Despite the fact that we are real world broken folks, we can and need to make the choice to continually be aware of that which we need to do to reach a greater level of commitment and consistency in our spiritual development.  By doing so, the way we love will likewise grow.  It is how God made us.  Which brings this thought:  No matter where you are, who you are, what you are or what you've done, praying and then trusting God to follow through on His end will always help you in making those life choices that affect all aspects of your life....and especially relationships.

Just ten.

How big are little things?

Did you ever go for a walk and just happen to find a dollar just laying there?  In the grand scheme of things, a dollar is really a pretty little thing, but finding one is kind of a big thing isn't it?  It's a surprise, something you weren't thinking of finding.  And it feels goooooood.   Or maybe you have been in the drive up line at a Mac's or Starbucks to get a cup of coffee for the ride and when you get to the window you get a smile and a cup of coffee.....free.  Seems the person in front of you paid for your coffee.  Feels gooooood !  And it's a little thing.  But to you, at that moment, it's really kind of a big thing isn't it?

Recently our church had a deal going on called Project Backpack.  The folks who attend were made aware of the program and were asked to participate in it if they could.  Basically it meant buying an inexpensive backpack and a list of school supplies to go with it.  Each filled backpack would then be handed out to families in the area who were in need and most likely couldn't afford the twenty to thirty dollar expense of each filled backpack. 

In the grand scheme of things, taking the time to go to the local Target and spending that twenty to thirty dollars for the backpack and school supplies was a little thing to those who participated in the project.  BUT....that little thing was a really big thing to the kids who received them as well as their families. 

Random and anonymous acts of kindness of any kind don't have to be big deals.  Little things can so easily, and most often do, become big things.....not only to the receiver, but the giver.  If you have done random acts of kindness you realize just how big they are....because you yourself most probably inwardly felt good because of what you had done.  It's like your own little secret....that you felt good because you were kind to someone.  The truth is, you are feeling good about it because in your heart you know that God is smiling.  Smiling because you have listened, and you have been kind to someone.  And that is really, really big.

Filled up

I was making my usual bowl of sliced banana and cereal today and when I was pouring the milk into it I got slightly distracted and poured too much.  It was filled up and spilled over the side of the bowl.  Stuff like this happens more often than we realize in the normal run of life.  It used to be pretty easy to over fill the car with gas at the gas pump.  The result was a puddle of gas on the pavement.  It's easy to mow the lawn and over fill the catch bag.  The result is a trail of clipped grass on the newly mowed lawn.  It is almost universal that we overcook.  The result is stuffed bellies and leftovers.

Each of these situations has a common denominator....when something is full, it is full and cannot hold any more.  A full glass of water can't hold any more water.  Spillage is a result.  And spillage is visible to anyone who happens to be around to see it.

The same applies to us humans.  When our heads and hearts are full of junk.....you guessed it, others around us can tell.  Oh sure, we mask, we hide, we deny, and we pretend it isn't there, but those who know us can see it.  God does too.  The junk we have isn't like the examples above....fresh water, newly poured mild, or freshly mown grass.  Our junk, while sometimes fresh, is almost always old junk....junk that we have willingly allowed ourselves to hang on to and carry around.

Our junk containers get full just like glasses of water....and it spills over as well.  No matter how we try, often our behaviors or reactions to circumstances  will change...most likely negatively.  Something else changes as well.  Our ability to relate to and keep a tightly held relationship with Christ is affected.  We tend to focus more on our Junk than Him.

When you're feeling full of junk it's time once again to hit the knees and pray that God will "empty
me of me, and fill me with You".

It really doesn't matter

Jacob was a cheater

Peter had a temper

David had an affair

Noah got drunk

Jonah ran from God

Paul was a murderer

Gideon was insecure

Miriam was a gossiper

Martha was a worrier

Thomas was a doubter

Sarah was impatient

Elijah was depressed

Moses stuttered

Zaccheus was short

Abraham was old

and Lazarus was dead....

 

The list above is a list of biblical characters (literally).  Quite a bunch of characters (and character defects as well), wouldn't you say?  And yet, He called them all, each of them, for some purpose. 

 

In looking at that list, I can see my name replacing 10 on that list...actually 11 if you wish to say I'm old.  Am I all of those things now?  Of course not.  But I have been at any given time in my life, I'm not proud to say. 

 

Can you see yourself anywhere on that list.....past or present?

 

Here's the deal.....straight up........

 

God doesn't call the qualified.  He qualifies the called !!

 

(and he always has)

 

No matter where we've been, or where we are, if we are ever going to be better men, husbands and fathers we need to understand and embrace our humanness and brokenness and allow ourselves to forgive ourselves.  And be aware that God used folks just like us, called folks just like us, to further His kingdom. 

 

Are you ready to be qualified?

A closet full

Say, isn't it at least just a little bit satisfying to kind of sneakily judge someone or their actions?  I think we all get a bit of an inward "kick" out of seeing someone do something, or hearing someone saying something, and thinking "well, I wouldn't do that".  Or, "I would have done it (or said it) this way....".  Yes, that is judging.  And we judge to make ourselves feel good.  Or superior.  Or better.  Or smarter.  Or...... .  It is as much a part of our humanness, as our brokenness is.  It is who we are and what we do.

I beat on myself sometimes for being like that.  I will catch myself judging someone else (for any one of many reasons), but not normally until after I have afforded myself that secret gloat that comes with the judgment I just made.  Hey, that gloat is great feed for my ego....and it does make me feel......gooooooood.....up to the point where I realize why I am so suddenly feeling that goooooood.

There are three axioms that can come into play when it comes to being judgemental.

1. When we are pointing at another person, there are three fingers pointing back at ourselves.
2. We all get up and put our pants on one leg at a time.
3. We all have a closet full of skeletons.

 

Yikes !!!! If we left our closet door open and a lot of skeletons fell out.....what would happen?  Oh no, others would see our skeletons.  I don't know about you, but I don't really like my skeletons being out there for others to see.  I'm kind of touchy about that.  It's very personal.  And if they are out there...what might people think?  And how might I then be judged by others?  Oops indeed !!

 

Here is the point.  We each have enough of our own stuff to take care of don't we?  If that is true, then how can we possibly justify even thinking about being judgmental of others?  And if we are in the habit of being judgmental of others, then how much easier is it for us to also be judgmental toward those close to us....like family?  And how does that affect those relationships?  Just sayin'.

 

Darn closets.  They hold the strangest things.



Your appetite

You are what you eat.  It's a pretty much known fact that if one eats with discretion and consumes a good blend of the different food groups, that person will most likely be quite healthy.  If, on the other hand, one eats irregularly, and when doing so eats and drinks a lot of junk food, that person stands a good chance of eventually having health issues, including obesity.    We are what we eat.

It isn't just our bodies that have an appetite.  Two very specific parts of our bodies also have appetites.  They are our minds and our hearts.  If we consistently feed them junk, they will become junk.  If we consistently feed them the "good stuff", they will not only grow, but will grow healthily...not only of benefit for you, but more importantly for those you come in contact with.

As men, husbands and fathers we owe it to ourselves, our wives, our children, and our friends to be the best we can be and to continue growing in our walk toward being more Christ-like.  And to accomplish that we need only to pay strict attention to what we are feeding our minds and hearts...consistently.

 

And when you do that, you will find that your appetite for more will be more. 

 

You are what you eat.  Happy eating!!



Halt !!!!

Halt's a pretty strong word.  Stronger than "stop" and much stronger than "stay put".  In fact, when a person hears the word "halt" I would guess that most view it as a strong order, one that needs to be obeyed.  It leaves little doubt in one's mind that one should immediately stop what one is doing and maybe even "freeze" in position....whatever that may be.

With regards to our personal lives, when talking or thinking about ourselves, we never "halt" something.  We will stop smoking or drinking or swearing (or think we need to stop), but we don't halt it. When the kids are boisterous, we don't tell them to halt.  We ask them to stop it.  It just isn't used in our everyday speaking.

Interestingly, "halt" is a word that can be used to make each of us a better man, husband, and father, and in the context of not being an order or a negative.  To many folks who have spent time at the 12 step tables, the word halt has a significant meaning to them.......because by remembering it and using it, it can serve to assure them of a better moment or a better day.  And isn't that what we all want?

Aren't some of the curveballs or problems we face daily of our own doing?  If we really focus and are honest about it, we would have to say yes.  And don't we seem to have our best moments and days when we are "on it", when our mo-jo is at it's peak?  Rarely do we have those best moments and days when we aren't "right", do we?  And here is where "halt" comes in.

Hungry

Angry

Lonely

Tired

How good is your game on when any of those four things has come into play?  And how much worse is it when there is a combination of those four things in play?   When any of those four, or any combination thereof is into play in your life at any given time, what is the effect on your relationship with those around you?  How does it affect your relationship with God? 

 

You see, those four things are really satisfiers  If we are not hungry, angry, lonely, and/or tired, we are pretty much satisfied, are we not?  And if we are satisfied, do not our relationships with all of those about us, including God, seem much more on keel than when we are not? 

 

Could it possibly be time to make a decision to halt getting yourself into situations where you get hungry, angry, lonely, and tired?   





Story time

I love country music.  I wrote a country song a bit ago titled All I ever did right (was everything wrong).  It's about a dad reiterating how bad he was as a parent, and how thankful he is that the right that came out of all that wrong is that the kids themselves are now parenting  the right way.  It was pretty easy to write.  I wrote it about myself after reflecting on the families of my kids....how much differently they are raising their kids, and how solid the relationships are.

That song is a bit of my story.  It is a peek into my past, at those times when I was on the dark side of life, when a relationship with the Lord was foreign to me.  But it is just the beginning of the story.  Now the kids no longer dwell on that of the past in their relationships with me.  They dwell on the change that has taken place over the past years, change to the good.

All of us have a story.  More importantly, all of us are living a story.  We work, we play, we raise our families.  And in every single thing we do, we are living a story.  A story about us as individuals, as men, as husbands, and as fathers.  Everyone around us is constantly seeing that story unfold.  Frankly, I have often been actually amazed that the story I was unfolding all those years when the kids were young didn't have a different impact on them.  A very negative impact.  You know, that they followed the same path.  It was only through the grace of God that they didn't buy into my story.

What kind of story are you living?  What kind of story are your kids seeing unfold?  What kind of story will you be remembered by?  Are you proud of your story?  Does your story make God smile?

Where the rubber meets the road

"I love my money....

I love my stuff....

It just seems like,

There's never enough."

 

 

And therein lies an inner conflict that a lot of men feel.  Perhaps, to err on the side of graciousness,  a good percentage of men in general have an inner "soft spot".  One that urges us to help someone in need.  Certainly the majority of men who are followers of Christ do.  And yet, don't the words of the little ditty above come to mind when it is time for the rubber to meet the road?

 

This, is spite of the fact that....

• we know that "it's not just about me"
• we know that it involves sacrifice
• we know that it won't be cheap
• we know that it is good for us
• we know that it is the example Christ left for us by giving us it all....His life.

"Go and do likewise", when joined with the story of the Good Samaritan, isn't an option.  It's an order, a direction we are to take.  It doesn't end with "when it's convenient", "when you have time", "when you have enough money", "when it's comfortable for you", or "when you want to".  No, it is a when the rubber meets the road statement.    And the road is the road to eternal life.  No, not the road to heaven that many think of, but the road to the best possible life we can have not on our own.

 

"The more I give...

the better I feel...

'cause it's livin' a life

that's the real deal".

 

And that is where the rubber meets the road.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Fear has two heads

Forget
Everything
And
Run

OR

 

Face

Everything

And

Rise

 

In exercising option #1 above, there can be no faith.  It is among the forgotten things.  And when we use that option, we are running from the God who loves us so and will always provide.  It is a turning of our backs on our God. 

 

By exercising option #2 above, we are making a stand for faith.  We are saying that we trust God to see what is going on that is causing our fear, and that we know that He loves us so much that He will be by our side to the resolution of whatever it is that has brought fear to us. 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                   

Bragging rights

For us guys, sometimes bragging rights is just a part of being a guy.  Whether it's arm wrestling, ping pong, the fastest car, whatever.....we kind of get a kick out of being able to claim bragging rights.  Perhaps it's in our genes.  Perhaps it's part of that macho thing.  Maybe because we live in a competitive society it is just part of the culture.  Whatever it is....we like bragging rights.....even when we deny it.

For the discerning man, one who has, or is making an attempt to be a follower of Christ, taking that walk is sometimes just plain tough.  Especially so as we try to blend our faith into all of the facets of our daily lives....our work, our relationships with those outside of family, our family relationships, and strangers we come in contact with.  It, at times, almost makes us feel kind of like chameleons doesn't it?  Truthfully, how consistent are we in differing sets of circumstances?  Are we one man here, and another there?

It is kind of a conundrum isn't it?  We claim to love the Lord and be a follower of Christ (perhaps only somewhat consistently), and yet in certain circumstances those around us who don't know us would have no idea of our claim.  That is a part of failing Him....in many cases daily.  It is a part of our brokenness that seems to plague us if we are really thinking about it. 

It's kind of hard to truly claim bragging rights on our love of God if any of the above is true isn't it?  It would be outwardly and openly contradictory in such a way as the world could see it.   Does that make you feel bad?  Here are a couple of outs on that one:

• we can lay a solid claim on bragging rights on our brokenness as men
• AND we can honestly and fully claim bragging rights  about God's love for us in spite of that brokenness....because it never, ever, fails.

That is the kind of bragging right that you can openly carry, share, and embrace at all times and with anyone.

What's your occupation?

Butcher?  Baker?  Candlestick maker?  No, this isn't about Rub-a-dub-dub, the nursery rhyme.  It's about what you consider your occupation. Except for those unfortunates who have lost their jobs, or chosen not to work...we all have jobs.  And we have jobs because we need to pay the bills, provide for our families, etc.  Some have jobs in the public service arena.  Others have jobs in factories, in the ministry, in prisons as staff, the medical field....you name it, there are gazillions of jobs.

In a way, our jobs are something we have to do.  It's a part of our way of doing life (unless we are independently wealthy), a necessity.  So I think most folks take a pretty good stab at making their job a "happy" job, making it meaningful and to some degree measurable in terms of satisfaction and results.

So what will your IRS W-2 say for your occupation as you report your earnings?  Butcher?  Baker?  Candlestick Maker?  Retired?  Plumber?  Pastor?  Enough already!!!  That's not what this is about.

We all have one primary occupation, but we never put it down on our IRS W-2.     If we had a Spiritual W-2, our occupation should be listed as Kingdom Worker.  Being a Kingdom Worker won't necessarily pay the bills.  Nor will it send our kids to college, or pay for family vacations.  But being a Kingdom Worker will do far more for out insides than any job we could possibly have.  By being Kingdom Workers we will:

• have an extraordinary bonding with our Boss...God.
• be blessed in ways we could never expect.
• have more inner peace, joy, and satisfaction than we could ever realize from our jobs.
• become increasingly more Christ-like each day.
• know that God will meet our needs and never fail us.
• know that we are a beloved child of God.

Being a Kingdom Worker is a choice each of us has to make on our own.  When we make that choice it means that we look beyond ourselves for that hurting person or for those in unfortunate circumstances.  It means we may have to sacrifice some of our resources and get out of our comfort zones.  It means that we stand tall and ready to help others and be there for them....and then we do it.

Being a Kingdom Worker means that your Spiritual W-2 will be filed with all of those others who have, by their own choice, decided that one of their missions of life is to help make God's world (not ours) a better place for all of us......especially those hurting or in need.

Will you have a Spiritual W-2?  Will your family?  Will your children?

Sometimes it ain't what you got.....it's what you give

Here is just a short video with a simple, but powerful message.  It is something we as humans can think about as we conduct ourselves in our daily lives. 

 

 

What if ???

True story.  A fella, an average person (just a blue collar worker kind of guy) was doing some volunteer work at his church.  He was working on the outside of the building and he was pretty certain that there was no staff working that day on the inside.  During the course of his working, he was approached by a complete stranger.  And here is what happened:

"Excuse me", the man said..."I need help".  And then he proceeded to relate his current situation to the guy working.  According to the man, he had been involved in a domestic situation, having caught his wife in bed with his boss.  He claimed to never have laid a hand on either one, saying he simply walked out and away.  Then he got fired from his job, because, after all, it had been his boss.  When he tried to withdraw money from their bank account several days later, it was bone dry...she had cleaned it out.  His cell phone, the bill having been in her name, was likewise cut off, so he could not communicate with a daughter who lived approximately 40-50 miles away. He was hoping he would be accepted there because they had had a broken relationship and it hadn't been healed yet.  It was a pig in the poke if she would take him in or help him.  He had been limited to the amount of cash he had in his pocket, which had since run out.  On the day in question he had gone to court as directed, and after court was making his way to his daughters, avoiding toll roads because he had no money.  His gas low level light started blinking a mile away from the church.  It was there where he hailed a jogger to inquire how close a gas station might be and was told it would be a few miles....probably past the point of his limited reserve.  So he stopped at the church to ask for help, explaining that he hadn't eaten in over a day, nor had the dog he had with him.

What if something like this happened to you (you being the man volunteering work at the church)?

• Would you give the man some gas money and send him on his way?
• Would you feed the man, or purchase some food for him?
• Would you even believe his story? 
• What would be the tipping point in determining if he was being truthful or was just a scammer?
• Would you kindly and gently speak of any spiritual matters with him during any conversation?

Here is what happened:

The worker took the man and his dog along with him to the nearby ATM where his suspicions were confirmed....there was but less than $10.00 in available funds in his account.  So he called his wife to inquire if she had any cash.  She did..$25.00.  So he took the guy and the dog to his house, made him a couple of sandwiches, a banana, a cup of coffee, and a cold bottle of water, and dog food for the pooch.  He also called and got information on a large local church that has a care center amply equipped to handle these unique situations, and gave the man directions to that church so that he could find any available resources that would work for him (lodging, cleaning, food, and perhaps a day job situation so he could earn some money). When they got back to the church where they mans car was parked, he was told where the nearest gas station was and reminded to check in at the larger church for assistance.  The worker shared that many of us have been busted at times, and all of us have brokenness, and stressed that we are all God's children and He loves us no matter what. 

Here are some thoughts that went through the mind of the worker who helped:

"I would much rather know that I probably helped a hurting person, than to have thought of him as a scammer and not done anything.  Had I done nothing but say I was sorry for his troubles and sent him on his way, I would always carry a nagging sense that I may have made a wrong decision."

Being a good Samaritan can take you out of your comfort zone....as it is supposed to do.  Being a good Samaritan is far more beneficial to yourself than to the person receiving the help.  Being a good Samaritan means you have made a decision to get out of yourself.

What if any of us found ourselves in unfortunate circumstances like the man above?

Come on man !!!

I'm not much on TV, but I do like Monday night football, so I will generally try to catch the game.  I am particularly fond of a portion of the pre-game stuff called "Come on Man!" wherein they show some short video usually of something silly, goofy, or just plain funny from recent games.  Then they say to the man in the clip...."come on man".  It's as if they are saying to the guy..."what were you thinking???"

You know what?  In real life, my own, I create plenty of "opportunities" for someone to later say..."come on man!!".  Perhaps, if they don't actually say it, they at least raise their eyebrows in silent wonder about just what I was thinking.  Do you think this might happen to you once in a while?  (If you answer no, you know I'll be saying "come on man!".)

Let's think about our everyday lives for a minute.  Are you......

• a fully committed follower of Christ?
• a selective follower of Christ?....a part timer, so to speak, when it is convenient to  you.
• a fence rider...sometimes on, sometimes off?
• wanting to turn your life around and grow to be a follower of Christ?



Being a male is a matter of birth...

Being a man is a matter of age...

Being a Christian man is a matter of choice....YOURS

 

When I think of all the grace, love, and redemption that God has bestowed on me, I want to try so much harder to be a fully committed follower of Christ. When I think that my past is a non-issue with God, I know I want to make that choice.  When I think how many times He must have said to me "Come on Man!!"...it makes me want to live so He never says it again.

 

Do you ever wonder if God isn't saying "Come on Man!!" to you?

And the winner is.....

Way back when I was but a kid, surprisingly one of our families Friday evening thrills was watching the Friday Night Fights on our very small screen black and white TV.  There were no color TV's yet (yes, that was forever ago....don't remind me.).  The most famous utterances from the ring announcer were:

1. when he introduced each boxer prior to the fight he would say "And in this corner......"
2. at the end of the match he would roll out (to lengthen anticipation perhaps) "and the winner is...."

In boxing, just as in most sports, there is going to be a winner, and there will be a loser(s).  Las Vegas has made tons of dollars over the years simply because of peoples fascination with winners and losers.  Betting (both legally and illegally) is an enormous industry, one that is designed to separate money from the folks who wish to bet.

In our everyday non-betting lives, there is one thing you can bet on.  In arguments, or disagreements the only good outcome is a win-win ending.  A win-win ending may mean that the parties agree to disagree with no harbored ill feelings.  Or it may mean that through intelligent, reasonable, and peaceful dialog a resolution was reached whereby both parties are happy with the outcome.  One outcome that should not be acceptable to anyone who is following Christ is one whereby one or both of the parties feels anger or resentment toward the other party.

As we live toward our prize which is Heaven, we cannot have it both ways.  We cannot be loving and be argumentative.  We cannot claim the true colors of a Christ follower and always have to win.  To not win, to a follower of Christ, is to win, for in taking the need to win out of the equation one can then fully be the example of the Christ follower that he deigns to be.  And living that kind of example is what we are called to do. 

And the winner is........not the winner, but the example.

Different dirties

Today was one of those days.  One of those days folks like me kind of love.  And the kind of day others abhor.  It was one of those down and dirty days.  Yeah, dirty.  I washed the windows at the house.....and got dirty.  And stinky.  It was hot, so you know what I mean.  Then I got down on my knees and weeded.  Now we're talking not just sweaty, but sweaty dirty.  Man, I loved it.  Just like in younger years when I would change engines or transmissions in the garage by myself.  Now that was dirty.

The thing about dirty is what comes after.  A real nice cleaning shower.  Nothing better.  You see, even those that abhor the kind of dirty that I connect with actually get "dirty" at times as well, and they too have an appreciation for the cleaning that comes after.  So even though we're wired a bit differently, we all like the feeling that comes from being clean.  You're no different are you?

This isn't, however, about greasy, nasty, ground dirt, hot and sweaty dirty.  That's the kind you, and those around you, can see and smell.  This is about deceptive dirty.  Deceptive dirty is not readily visible.  It's the kind of dirty you feel inside when you are trying to convince yourself and others around you that all is well...that you are "fine".  And while it isn't anywhere near as evident as mud or grease smeared hands and smelly armpits, a discerning person will sense that you are deceptive dirty.

Being deceptive dirty stymies our spiritual growth.  It also creates tension within us.  And, if allowed to remain, it can begin to interfere with the relationships we have as men, husbands, and fathers.  And if allowed to remain long enough, it will be used as a tool by the evil one to separate us from a meaningful relationship with our God. 

So how do we clean ourselves of deceptive dirty?  Well, certainly not any kind of soap or cleaners, that's for sure.  The only cleansing agents for deceptive dirty that I know of (personal experience) are:

1. committed prayer, sharing it all with the Lord
2. forgiving yourself as you ask the Lord to forgive you
3. transparency with a strong Christian mentor
4. commitment to be consistently more open

You know, it's ok to get dirty once in a while. Even deceptive dirty happens.  We are imperfect humans.  Because of God's love for us, we have the availability of all different kinds of cleansing agents to take care of our dirtiness. 

Hard Ball requires soul searching

Case 1:  A healthy, robust middle aged healthy business owner, active in church, family, and community was looking forward to retirement a few years down the road.  However, he suffered a very severe stroke while dressing for work one morning months ago.  Recovery is exceptionally slow.  Result--family turned upside down.

Case 2:  A happily married retirement age couple.  The husband finally retires after a successful career.  They had lived wisely, saved toward retirement, and envisioned years of travel that they had planned for all of their lives.  Not long after his retirement, the wife became different, and was ultimately diagnosed with dementia.  She went downhill fast, soon not even remembering that they were married.  Result--family turned upside down.

In both of those cases, all of the parties were churched people, and were folks who had a solid spiritual grounding.  In neither situation did any family member cave in to "why me" self pity, bitterness, or doubt in their faith.  In neither situation did any family member get mad at God.  And, in neither case did any family member jump ship because of the horrific inconvenience a never dreamed of medical crisis caused.

The truth is, these are but two stories of catastrophic circumstances that can happen to a couple and a family.  There are many, many others out there.  And many have very different endings.  I'm sure we have all heard of at least one tragic situation that ended up splitting a family up....and perhaps we thought "what would I do?"

Now the hard question....what would you do?  What would I do?  Hard ball questions, yes?  I think we would all like to think that we would stay the course, that abandonment wouldn't even pop up.  And, perhaps, initially (say months) after a catastrophic event struck the family, we would stay the course.  That said, isn't it possible that after a longer time, say years, we may start, or be tempted to think otherwise?  Yes, hard ball.

How we conduct our lives now (and now includes right up until the time of an eventual, if ever, catastrophic family event) will govern how you handle it if and when it comes.  If God is at the core of our believing, if He is our guide, if He is the centerpiece of our lives.....then I suspect that we will never be tempted to abandon any situation we are faced with, because we will have an unrelenting faith that He will see us through.  And we will serve with honor and dignity.  And we will continue to love.  And we will remain strong.  That's what God does for us.  That's His job.  And He doesn't abandon....or even think of it.

Love Letter

Love letters.  In this day and age, perhaps a thing of the past.  Back in the day, love letters were a real art form.  They were mostly handwritten, in a cursive that nowhere near resembled the chicken scratching that passes for handwriting today.  Later on, but before all this new electronic technology, some may have, I suppose, been typewritten.  Nowadays, every once in a while, we read or hear of a "find"...a treasure trove of love letters written over a period of years, that someone kept...and now they provide not only information, but a real peek into the very souls of the authors and those to whom they were writing.  It's a lost art form for sure.....gone dead to technology.

Now there is texting, messaging, tweets, e-mails.....who has time, or even if they did would take it, to write love letters?  And who is going to save a text, message, tweet, or an e-mail for posterity sake in an old shoe box?  Not going to happen.  And a lot of grand kids and great grand kids aren't going to be able to share in a great "find"...some of gamma's and grandpas love letters, or perhaps even mom and pops.

Going back to the days when love letters were so much more than a texted "hi, babycakes, I love you",,,what made them really special and unique (besides being handwritten)?

• they would share what was going on in the life of the author
• they would talk about things that made them happy
• they perhaps shared dialogue about things they had seen and done
• they would talk about love and hope for the future of the receiver
• they might even talk about cautionary measures in the absence of the sender
• they would talk about their future together, after they were not separated anymore
• and throughout each letter would be one constant theme...the love of the sender to the receiver

Actually, we are all privy to a love letter every single day of our lives.  In fact it is the longest love letter ever written.  Is it a radical thought to think of the Bible as God's love letter to us? 

• Is it not full of life lessons directed to us?
• Is not God's unfailing love for each of us evident throughout?
• Is not God's concern for our wellbeing expressed from front to back?
• Are not God's promises to us expressed clearly all the way through?

Perhaps we need to think of the Bible as a love letter instead of a book of rules, conditions. and history.  When we call it God's Word it sounds so much more like a love letter anyway....perhaps we all need to change our thinking a bit and embrace it as a true love letter.

Chains, locks, and shackles

I got an earful this week at church.  I heard that God's plan for us (me included) is to live rich, rewarding, fulfilling, satisfying lives.  I would guess that most of us would agree with that.  Where we may differ from reality, however, is in our thoughts of how to accomplish that. Some of the more common ways we may think we need to do that are:

• by being more "religious"
• by learning scripture and being able to recite it
• by becoming super active at our churches
• by sharing our beliefs with anyone and everyone
• etc

In and of themselves, none of the above are wrong at all. In fact, they are all commendable.  What is not, however, is if the mind-set which drives those actions is that we are showing God and all others just how good we are, and/or that we are doing them with the specific intent of ultimately reaching Heaven.  There may not be a whole lot of "heart-set" involved there.

God's plan for us to live rich, rewarding, fulfilling, and satisfying lives is predicated on the actions of our hearts. 

• Do we have a heart for the downtrodden? 
• Do we have a heart for the hurting? 
• Do we have a heart for those less fortunate? 
• Do we have a heart for the lost?
• Do we have a heart for those in need?

I like to think that, yes, I do have a heart for all of the above and more.  After all, it strokes my ego to think so.  But that is words, and we all know that actions speak much louder than words.  If I am going to be real about it, I will have to say that I have more words than actions.  How about you?

So what is it that stops us from using our hearts to its fullest?  It might be fear.  It could be that we are too selfish.  It could be that we are too "busy".  It could be that we feel our own burdens are overwhelming.  Maybe we are lazy.  It could be that we have never really learned the degree to which our hearts can be let loose.

Each of those things that stop us represent chains, locks, and shackles on our hearts.  And you know what?  We weren't born with them.  God did not put them there.  We have all put whatever chains, locks and shackles our hearts are carrying on ourselves.....and we can all learn to take them off.    To do so will release your heart, and mine, to allow our hearts to work for God's glory.

In doing so, we will realize the fruits of God's plan for us...a rich, rewarding, fulfilling, and satisfying life....even if in our own lives we (and surely we will) periods of hurt, misfortune, discomfort, and pain. 

We don't need a locksmith to rid ourselves of the chains, locks, and shackles.  Just a bit of prayer and trust in the God that so lovingly provides for us.

A different perspective, a fine distinction

You hear a lot of talk about our daily walk.  Many folks use many differing terms in talking about it.  Some examples, which we also find in written materials as well, are:

• my daily walk
• traveling down the road of life
• the path I have chosen
• walking down that narrow dirt road of life
• my walk with God
• my life's journey
• and more

Whenever I hear any of those terms, or use my own pet terminology, there is one consistent conclusion either used directly or implied in such a manner as to leave little doubt what it is.  The goal of the walk, travel, pathway, etc., is heaven.  Or, sometimes it is referred to as the prize, the reward, and so on.  And almost universally, when those walks, travels, pathways, etc. are discussed or written about, there is almost always mention of roadblocks, barriers, peaks and valleys, etc., all of which are referring to the fact that during the journey there are difficulties that must be surpassed, the implication that the travel will not always be easy, and other somewhat negative connotations.

How would you react if someone talked about their walk, journey, travel, etc. in a different way, such as:
     Hi, I'm John, and I'm here for a short time (whatever that time is) and I'm just full of joy because I'm going to Heaven.  And I know, that for amount of time I'm around here, God is allowing me to use my free will and make choices in everything I do.  And I'm enjoying it because I know that He loves me and asks only that I trust Him in my life.  So that no matter what I come my way, I see it as an opportunity to glorify Him and praise Him.

Would you perhaps think that perhaps whoever was saying that is some sort of a Jesus freak, a hyped up on God person, an over the top evangelical, or the like?  Or might you think that the person really has a grip on his perspective and truly views his walk as a very positive thing with no negatives?

To me, John's statement is very "up".   The goal or reward is the same and those statements usually heard or read.  The distinction is the lack of negatives, the lack of looking at what may come or get in the way of the traveler.  The whole focus is on the positive of getting to Heaven and the relationship with God before Heaven.

Food for thought.

Some days

There are days when I think God won't want to hear my prayer at that point in time, because I can't say a "happy" prayer, and (in all honesty) I sure can't see anything to be thankful for.  Those are the times when the woe-is-me Joe is in full bloom.  Do you ever have any of those days?  Be honest now!! 

My prayer on days like that end up being right out of the gut.  Something like this:

     Hey God, I'm not really mad at you....I just don't want to talk with you right now because I'm not happy and I have this thing in my head that says my prayers have to be happy talk and a lot of thank you's.  But, I have this other thing in my heart which says that it is at times like these that I most need to pray.  So I'm listening to my heart and here's my prayer;

  enlighten what is dark in me

strengthen what is weak in me

mend what is broken in me

heal what is sick in me

and finally....

revive whatever peace and love has died in me.

 

Prayers like that are my panic prayers.  Perhaps we all have a version of the panic prayer.  They are panic prayers because on some days I let myself get so worked up about stuff that I temporarily loose sight of just how much God loves me, and how much I need to trust him. 

 

There's a great thing about panic prayers.  If we're honest with ourselves, there will be days when panic prayers are necessary.  And that is a good thing!  Let's face it....God knows what is going on when you and I are having crappy times.  Am I, or you, really gonna hide it by dressing it up and making it all pretty-pretty? 

 

God wants to hear our honest and open prayers all the time.  Not just the nice ones on some days.  So what say...."let 'er rip" !!!!

 

The train

At birth, each of us boarded a train where we met our parents.  We believed that they would always be traveling with us.  However, along the way, at some station, our parents stepped down from the train, leaving us to continue our journey alone. As time went by, at different stations, others boarded the train.  Many of those became significant to us.  Brothers, sisters, friends, the love of our life, and even children boarded the train.  

As time goes on, many of those will step down from the train at different stations.  Some, by getting off the train, will leave a permanent vacuum. Others will go so unnoticed that we won't realize that they are gone, their seats now empty.

This train ride will be a mixed bag of joy, sorrow, expectations, hellos, surprises, great happiness, ravaging hurts, great happenings, lost dreams, missed opportunities, farewells, and goodbyes.  The trip will be successful if we have a good relationship with all that board the train while we are on it...including the Engineer, who actually owns the train.   In fact, in the Engineers Book, it clearly states that while on the train, each is to give the best of themselves and trust that the Engineer will provide for them a safe and rewarding trip.

There is a mystery about the train.  No one knows at which station he/she will step down from the train.  And that is why in the Engineer's book that he shares with all of his passengers, he shows each passenger how to live the best way.....love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are.  It is important that each passenger do this, because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty, we will be prepared to go to that very special train station where the Engineer lives....Heaven. 

I hope that when I get to the station when it is my time to get off the train of life, that I will have lived in a manner that is consistent with the Engineer's Book, and will have been some sort of an example for those still on the train.

Which One ?

If you could ask all the folks who ever had strokes, high blood pressure, eating or sleeping problems, and perhaps even heart attacks, "what was the single factor that lead to your situation?" my guess would be that the answer for the majority would be "stress".

What is stress?  I'm certainly no doctor, and I won't get into a medical discussion about it, but I'm pretty sure I can offer a simplistic everyday man's opinion....from my own experience:

• "stress is what I feel as a result worrying or fretting about things over which I have no control, to the point that it affects my attitude, my behavior, and my well being, and in doing so it also affects my relationships with others around me as well as driving a wedge into my spiritual foundation.  Stress is self inflicted....it is not communicable." 

Being the broken humans that we are, one could also say that stress also has a role in that little game we play "I want it now".  Doesn't stress kind of make you believe that everything has to happen right now?   If it didn't, would not we all be just supremely patient? 

There is only one antidote for stress that I know of.  Sure, there are all kinds of medications prescribed, but aren't those primarily for the conditions that arise out of an overload of stress?  Stress is a head and heart condition, and the only remedy for it that I know of is faith.  You can't buy faith at Walgreens.  You get faith from living a relationship with the Lord, by living for Him and trusting solely on Him. 

YIKES !!!!  Doesn't that mean giving up control of my life?  You bet it does.  Look at it this way.  Has your way worked really, really well?  Has your way relieved stress or added stress?  I know about me.....my way=stress.  That's just the way it is.  But I have found that the more I embrace the Lord as my guide, the less stress I have.

 

my way = stress

His way = faith

 

While I may not always like it (and perhaps you won't either), faith reassures me that everything will happen in God's timing.  And just to clarify, at those times I'm not liking it it is because His clock is different than mine.  It's hard to drop that "want it now" thing.

 

So the bottom line question is simply this.  Which one?  Stress or faith?  Seems pretty simple to me.



Stormy

Where we're located it seems as if the weather patterns have been quite different over the past couple of years. We've experienced a lot of storms.  This past winter was loaded with snow storms, to the extent that it ended up being the 3rd worst winter since record keeping was started.  Spring brought with it yet more stormy weather, and now that summer has come there is no let up.  Some of those storms have been very, very strong.

Life is similar to the weather.  There are nice times, comfortable and bright times.  There are times when some clouds threaten our horizon.  And there are storms.  When something catastrophic hits us out of the blue, we certainly feel as if a tornado has turned us upside down and inside out.  We sometimes experience stormy relationships.....even our relationship with God as we sometime experience doubt, a bit of separation, or yes....anger.

Storms are a fact of life.  Mother Nature, with the regularity of clockwork, offers us up storms throughout our lives, storms that we can't avoid and therefore have to go through.  We survive.  Stormy times in our lives are also a fact of life.  Some we can avoid, some we can't.  Some occur as a result of our own doing, others just happen.  The fact remains, we are going to have stormy times in our lives. 

God walks right alongside us as we go through those stormy times in our lives.  Yes, many of us live with the knowledge that He is there in the good times, but sometimes it is harder to trust that He is there in the stormy times.   He is there...period, end of story.  It is our choice whether we trust Him and His presence.  Through trusting and listening during the stormy times, we can experience positive and surprising life changes as a result.

"When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person that walked in.  That's what the storm is all about."   Haruki Murakami

A little tip from old Uncle Joe

Why is this thing called doing life so hard?  Why can't it be easier?

Have you ever asked yourself those questions? 

Life isn't really all that easy because we are who we are.  Us!  And we are downright human....chock full of a mixture of brokenness, baggage, and (I believe) perhaps a gene that makes us complicate things way beyond their normal proportion.  An example of the influence of that gene is our ability to carry a grudge.  Grudges are weird.  They start out of a bit of anger over some real or perceived "wrong" by another person.  They are light, they don't weigh much initially, so when they are dancing around in our heads they don't have all that much effect on us....again, initially. 

However (you sensed a however, I take it?)....over time those grudges begin to take on weight.  That's because the anger that is attached to it becomes a mad.  You see, the longer we allow that dancing in the head to take place a metamorphosis is happening.  A little anger becomes a large mad.  Usually over something simple or stupid in the grand scheme of things.  Oh, to us at the time it is a "big deal"...but really just how big is it in the grand scheme of life?  And it starts to weigh us down.

So now there is this grudge/anger thing that has morphed into this grudge/mad thing and guess what?  Now stress comes along.  Mad seems to be a pretty good stress magnet, so here all of a sudden this thing that's been dancing around in your head is starting to create stress.  When that old grudge pops its ugly head up while mind dancing (and it might only be every so often) aren't you starting to feel just a bit more passionate about that initial "wrong" or "slight"....even though it was (what!!) way back when?

What to do?  Well, lighten up, put it away, shut down the dance floor, get rid of that stress causing baggage, and move on!!  How?

Here's a little tip from old Uncle Joe: 

"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got."

R. Brault

 



Get off the donkey

I would guess that almost everyone has heard the term "good Samaritan".  And a lot of folks know that it comes from one of the most well known Parables in the Bible, the story of the good Samaritan.  And if not all, then most of those folks would say that the story is about "helping others" or some spin-off of that general idea. 

Actually, helping others is only partially correct.  The story of the good Samaritan is a story within a story.  And the message sent through the stories as a whole picture is to love our neighbors as we love ourselves (something else many are quite familiar with).   And, the bottom line message is to get off the donkey.

Let's start with this thing about neighbors.  Study will show that it's not talking about neighbor-neighbors.  Nor does it distinguish between "good" neighbors and "bad" neighbors, or who is a neighbor and who isn't one, or how many neighbors, or any other quantifying or qualifying information....which bottoms out to mean...the neighbor He is talking about means anyone.  So, simply put, we are to love any other person as we love ourselves.

Thus, there are some radical truths about neighbors and helping others:

1. My neighbor is anyone in need.
2. My neighbor is wounded (in some way, just like we all are)
3. My empathy is not enough  (feeling their pain does nothing for them at all)
4. If I want a real life, I've go to get off my donkey.........

clearly, my life isn't going to be real if I don't do something, and I can't do anything as long as I am still on the donkey.  After all, the real good Samaritan had to get off of his donkey to help the person he was helping.

a special thanks to Tim Sutherland

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Nope, it's not about a fairy tale where we find out who the fairest of them all is.  This is all about the most important mirror of them all.  It's the one we need to look at more often.  Many of us spend way too little time looking at this mirror.  That can be due to fear, habit, ignorance, inability or lacking the desire to be real, and the list goes on.

 

I can hear the "yeah, buts" coming now. Perhaps it was your immediate thought that it is God who changes lives.   In answer to those, yes, it is God who works with us and in us to change our lives.  But, it is the guy looking in that mirror who has to invite Him in so that He can do His work.  The man in the mirror has to be willing to let change take place.  God is always there, He always wants to work in you, and He wants you to be the best  you can be.....but you've gotta want it!....and you gotta let Him.

 

Next time you're shaving in the morning, why not take an extra careful look at that mirror and the guy staring back at you and don't worry about who's the fairest of them all, but rather consider just how much that guy looking back at you needs some changes.  And then deal with those issues by asking the God that never fails us for His help in bringing them about.

 





A request

Are you trying to be a better man, husband, and/or father?  Do you think others may be also?

Are you trying to improve your walk down the narrow road of life?  Do you think others may be also?

Have you ever considered that you can help others in some small way to be better men and help them in their walk?  After all, we all carry around a bit of brokenness don't we?

Would you help them?

One simple way is to send  them the link to this blog and ask that they subscribe.  It is easy to do, it's free, and a new, short,  daily post will then come to their e-mail each and every day of the week.

• share it with your friends at church
• share it with your small group
• share it with people at work
• share it with neighbors

Your minimal effort may result in one person being a better person because of it.

 It's worth the try isn't it?

Do we just say it?

A song we sing fairly often at church never seems to get old to me.  The name of the song is Here's my Heart, and it is sung by Passion.  Here's the chorus to that song:

 

Here's my heart Lord,
Here's my heart Lord
Here's my heart Lord,
Speak what is true

Here's my life Lord,
Here's my life Lord
Here's my life Lord,
Speak what is true
Speak what is true
Speak what is true

 

It's really quite straightforward isn't it?  "here's my heart Lord, here's my life Lord, speak what is true."  And it really is quite simple....in theory.  I want to be so Christ-like that I can hardly stand myself.  And yet, I will never achieve being Christ-like because I am such a broken human being.  I will only ever achieve more Christ-like, and that only if I continually work at it.  Perhaps this is true of many of those who are reading this.  Our "want-to's" and "actuals" aren't as in sync as we would want them to be.

 

So truthfully, all too often when I am praying, or when I have those moments when I am thinking about this walk I am taking down the long narrow road of life, I feel the need to just say to the Lord...."here's my heart, here's my life...speak what is true....and I just saying it.  Then there are time when I am having that wonderful "epiphany moment" when I say it and it is so absolutely heartfelt...almost like a plea.  And then there are those times when we sing the song at church and I feel such a tremendously strong passion about the words being sung. 

 

Perhaps just saying it every once in a while isn't really bad.  After all, it is there in my mind, and hopefully in my heart to a degree, so that when those special moments come where the words hold a significantly deep meaning and passion I can really absorb just what it is I am singing or saying....and that some will stick.

 

How about you?  How would the lives of all men, husbands, and fathers be impacted if we each lived with the true significance of those words in our daily lives?