A Challenge with 5-1 odds

As a man, a husband, and a father, or any combination thereof...including am presently, will be, or was, there are several "givens" about each:

• it isn't a cake walk when in relationships, family especially
• there isn't any blueprint to follow to build the "perfect" relationships or family
• there will be failures
• changes are not always immediate
• we mirror the planet Saturn in a way
• we are cricled by rings,  and God is at the center
• our family is at the innermost circle
• friends are the next outermost circle
• our work life companions and associates are in the next outermost circle
• everyone else is in the far outermost circle
• by instinct, the inner circle that is our family has some pretty well defined boundaries, and we protect that circle with all that we are worth

In our role as men, fathers, and husbands there is so much about our daily lives that can detract us from consistently doing 3 things to help us optimize a good, healthy, and happy family life.  Those three things are:

1. we need to inspire each and every member of our family as regularly as we possibly can
2. we need to encourage each and every member of our family as regularly as we possibly can
3. we need to make a committed investment of ourselves in each and every member of our family as we possibly can.

In other words....as hard as it is at times, it is our job to be the head cheerleader of the family.  It almost sounds like some kind of fairy tale doesn't it?  Especially when the inspiration, encouragement, and investment in others isn't regularly reciprocated.  Well tough !  What stops you from doing everything you can to change that?  We are to do all that we can because we hope that by doing so needed changes will come, and the family unit will be stronger (and all are in need of strengthening to some degree or another).

As a result of a study of over 2,000 marriages it was found that marriage and family relationships can be changed radically by simply changing how we communicate with our wives and children.  The results showed that by sharing  at least 5 compliments, encouragements, I love yous, kind expressions, etc. for each 1 criticism  we  bestow on those others in our lives, that those relationships will flourish in ways they haven't before.  And yes, I am not naive.....it is often, yes often, far easier to lay down some sarcasm or criticism than some kindness.....real kindness from the heart.....not phoney words.

When I heard this discussed, I found myself looking inward....at how often I resort to a wee bit of sarcasm, some put-downs, criticism or even looks, as compared to how much encouragement and love I share in my own family.  I have to admit...it is far more lopsided than I would wish.  So I set a challenge for myself....and I offer the same challenge for you.  The odds of improved relationships is 5-1 if the study is true, and logic tells me that it is way true !

Challenge yourself to be acutely aware of the ways you express yourself to your family members and hold yourself to living, yes living, the 5 to 1 ratio for the whole next month.  Don't do it with any expectations....do it because it is the right thing to do.  I would think that after a months practice, you would have it pretty well down....so why not just continue with that change in your life.  It may take time, but I am guessing that at 5-1 odds, you will see some happy changes in your relationships.