Living with the Arent's

We all have our aren’ts. Some more so than others, but we all have them. Some keep them readily accessible in the foyer way of their mind so that they can easily and quickly grab them to carry them around. They’re more comfortable when they are close by. It’s as if they are a Linus blanket to their psyche. While they don’t provide the same level of comfort that the Linus blanket provides, they are “comfortable” in that in their minds they validate their way of thinking.

Others keep their aren’ts stored high up on a shelf in the back of some almost inaccessible closet located deeply within the recesses of their mind. There, they tend to get dusty from lack of use because they are seldom disturbed or brought out from the closet for use.

Our aren’ts primarily include the would-haves, should-haves, could-haves, and if-onlys that we all have. A good portion of our current story is a result of each of those aren’ts. As we have traveled along this path of life, we have each made decisions and choices that we later regretted as we faced their true consequences, sometimes unpleasant ones. Each time that happened we created another would-have, should-have, could-have or if-only.

By now you have most likely figured out that most folks would label their aren’ts as regrets. That is how we’ve been conditioned. We lament “oh, I’ve got a lot of regrets” or something similar. When you get right down to it, isn’t that somewhat of a negative to fall back on? It’s a downer. Our aren’ts, if you choose to remember, aren’t our story. Our story is what we are now, not what we were then. We can’t do anything with them. They are in storage in our minds and always will be. That said, why not choose to keep them way up high on the back shelf of that barely accessible closet in the recesses of the mind instead of the foyer way? We must live with them, but why not make them very hard to visit?

One last thing; as long as we must live with them, why not call them what they really are, aren’ts? After all, in reality those decisions and choices aren’t you anymore, and therefore neither are the arent's that arose from them.