Are you going somewhere.....or stopping?

We hear the terms "building bridges" and "building barriers" every once in a while.  They are legitimate terms.  They are often heard in the context of relationships.  For sure we hear them used when the topic is about race relations, and rightly so.  On an individual basis, for a multitude of reasons, most folks are either building bridges or erecting barriers in terms of their own personal take of matter of acceptance of those different (in any way) from ourselves.

In the relationships we have as men, husbands, and fathers don't we fall prey to either building bridges or barriers in those relationships?  I would guess that if a study were done (and perhaps there have been such), that--truth be told--we would find:

1. that it is far easier to put up barriers in relationships than it is to build bridges
2. that many relationships suffer unnecessarily because of those barriers
3. that the relationships involved can be with our spouses and our children
4. and that the problem need not be terminal to the relationship.

Volumes have been written about how to build bridges in relationships, as well as the ways we build barriers in relationships.  For the sake of brevity and getting right to the point, I would offer that:

• Bridge builders are true Christ followers who place more value on others than on themselves.
• while they may fail at times, they are dedicated to creating an atmosphere of trust and love in their relationships
• they will sincerely apologize when they find they have wronged another
• they are quick to forgive others
• they will talk openly and freely with those with whom they are in relationship (they will be transparent)
• they will be dependable and utterly honest
• Barrier builders place more emphasis on themselves than others
• while they may seem sincere (to others) in their relationships, what may be going on within the home may be quite different than what is seen from the outside
• their worldview is more self centered
• apologies are difficult, as is forgiveness
• they tend to be guarded in what they say and to whom they say it

When we drive, we find:

Bridges are built to last.  They are strong, and well planned.  They can withstand almost all circumstances.  They are built for the purpose of on-going forward movement.  Barriers, however, are easily erected and are put up to stop traffic or re-direct it.  Barriers create delays, anxiety, and cause disruption in normal movement.

How are you doing in your personal relationships? Are you going somewhere (building bridges) or are you stopping (building barriers)?