The Hard Question

 

Case 1: A healthy, robust, middle aged business owner, active in church, family, and community, looked forward to retirement a few short years away. Sadly, he suffered a very severe stroke while dressing for work one day. He will never fully recover, and will require specialized care during his remaining life. Result: a family turned upside down.

Case 2: A happily married retired couple. They had planned for retirement wisely, and envisioned travel they had longed for all of their married life. Not long after his retirement, the wife became “different”, and was finally diagnosed with dementia. She went downhill fast, and it wasn’t long before she had no idea who family was. Result: a family turned upside down.

In both cases, each of the parties of each case were very spiritually grounded and of strong faith. In neither situation did any family member cave in to “why us” self pity, bitterness, or doubt in their faith. None became angry at God for what had seemed sure to be pleasant retirements gone badly. And, in each case, each family unit stayed as a family unit, fully accepting their new roles as care-givers.

Some cases like these end up badly. There have been times when the care-giver has simply given up and bailed out, or, worse yet, where the case has ended up as a horrific murder-suicide because there seemed to be no other way out. Families have splintered because of situations like these cases.

How we govern our lives, from now until an eventual catastrophic event like this, will govern how we handle such a situation. If God and our faith is at the core of the relationship, He is the center of our lives, we stand a much better chance of handling such a situation with both dignity and honor. We will continue to love the other, no matter what. We will remain stronger than we will otherwise. And we will know, that no matter what, God hasn’t abandoned us.

Bottom Line Thought: While we all hope with all hope that situations like those above will never occur to us, we never know do we? Are you building your foundation in such a manner now that should something like that occur you will be able to deal with it in an honorable and dignified manner? Is your love for your partner strong enough to do that? That’s a hard question—or isn’t it?