I will never.....

I heard some interesting dialogue on K-LOVE the other day that made me think.  The announcers were talking about how many times they had said "I will never...." when either thinking of their families to be  or their families of the then and now.  One of the "I will never's" was "I will never let my kid throw a temper tantrum in a restaurant".   There were a bunch of "I will never's" thrown out there and the consensus seemed to be that "I will nevers" fall right in the bullseye of wishful thinking.

How true!  I'm willing to bet just about all of the "I will never" pronoucements I have ever made ended up as "oh wells".  And the important part of that statement is that not all of those pronouncements were made about my kids.  Many were made about me:

• I will never raise my voice or yell at my wife
• I will never swear in front of my kids
• I will never be like some of the husbands I know
• I will never be like some of the fathers I know
• I will never be like some of the men I know
• etc

I learned quite a bit back that there is wisdom in never saying never....particularly as it relates to people, and specifically as it relates to me.  Why?  Because I, and everyone I know, am flawed.  I have a brokeness about me.  And because of that brokeness, I simply cannot rely on myself to be able to keep promises such as "I will never".  You see, I am human....just as we all are, and somehow most "I am never's" are bigger than we are.  They are feel good ideals that incorrectly massage our sense of worth.  At least that is how it is for me.  Does that mean I am weak?  I don't think so nor does it mean that your are weak.  I think it simply points out the humaness about us.

"I will nevers" are almost always about behavior.  And we all know how unpredictable and uncontrollable behavior can be and often is.  What protects me from my self, and thus helps keep my behavior in check the most effective way is a pattern of things which include:

• regularly attending church
• regularly participating in a small group or community group
• regularly getting into the word
• regularly conversing with God in prayer
• regularly serving others

As long as I stay committed to doing those 5 things, I really never have to say never.  If I am doing those 5 things, everything about me is in God's hands.  I just need to listen for His leadings and follow them.  Not always easy, but for sure always a sure bet.

I just don't think that "I will nevers" are very practical for men, husbands and fathers.  Eh?