What about the kids?

This particular post is a bit difficult for me.  It brings back regret thoughts in a big way.  But it also has it's redeeming points as well.  By the time you have read it, you will see both.

Back when, when they were still the thing to do, I used to get annoyed whenever I saw one of those yellow caution shaped signs hanging in the back of a car window that said "Baby on Board!".  My annoyance came from the fact that I envisioned the owners/drivers/occupants of those cars to be bragging..."hey look, we have a baby".  That was me...at that time.  My response to the signs was something along the lines of "big deal", or worse yet, "who cares".  Pretty uncaring, yes?

That was almost how I fulfilled my role as a father and a husband...the same sort of uncaring attitude.  Oh, I went through the motions, but I was blind to the fact that kids really can tell the difference between going through the motions and the real deal.  Suffice it to say, I was not a good father by any measurable standards.  I didn't physically abuse them, but I was a lot more interested in what was good for me than what was needed to raise a family in a christian home.  Frankly, I wasn't a christian, but an alcoholic.

Now that the kids (we had 7) are all grown and have families, it is fun and yet sad to ponder it all every once in a while.  It is fun in the sense that none grew up to be criminals, addicts, or dregs of society.  They grew up strong.  In fact, I wrote a song based on that...All I ever did right, was everything wrong.  My kids apparantly learned very well not do and be how I had done and been as a father.  I look at them and their families now and marvel at how their parenting skills are compared to what mine were. 

It is sad to ponder on because only one family is a christian family.  A couple of others are on the fringes.  And the rest are just "out there", doing their thing.  Not bad folks, rather the opposite.  Just not involved with matters spiritual.  As an older man, husband, and father, I still have my work cut out for me, and hopefully through prayer, interaction, and through the work of the Holy Spirit, all of them will eventually come around.

 

How very, very true !  I know, as a man who spent years as a totally broken man, how difficult it was to get near whole again.  And I know how difficult it is to stay whole in this rebuilding process.  The challenges my kids face are challenges that kids should not have to face as they grow through adulthood.

 

As a man, a husband, and a father, are you in a position where you can make changes in you, in how you do things (like parenting) so that you can build strong children?  If only I would have thought once in a while "what about the kids" instead of just me.