Stumble, fall, hit the wall

I had an interesting conversation with a man I highly respect a week or so ago.  He is one of the most humble and deeply spiritual men I know.  We were talking and he mentioned that sometimes he feels that being a christian is a huge crazy-maker.  He went on to say that sometimes he felt that the harder he tries to strengthen his christianity, the more he sometimes doubts that he is succeeding, the more character faults he finds, and the more he sees behavior in himself that isn't "right".  I think he hit it right on the head.

I know I am a mess.  I know I fail at times.  I know I doubt at times.  I know I stumble and fall.  And I know sometimes I hit the wall.  And yet, I know I am a christian, and much like my friend, that just sometimes seems like a crazy-maker.  It seems that the more I know myself, the more bad I see in myself, and the less I like myself because of it. 

Some would say that is a part of the spiritual warfare that takes place within us as we continue our quest to know and follow Christ more.  I believe that is part of it.  I also believe that as we continue our quest to know and follow Christ more, the more aware we are of that which is in us that is broken that we need to submit to Christ for His healing.  We discover things about us that we simply cannot fix ourselves, and thus we have to yield those things to God for His healing.  We aren't crazy....our brokeness is just getting better....bit by bit.  All we need to know and understand and trust in is that:

 

God is, and always has been, with us and He has always loved us...no matter what.