A conversation

Just a couple of days ago I was privy to hearing one side of a conversation,  It went pretty much like this:

"You know, I call myself a Christian,  I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior.  I walked away from it for a while, but came back...after which I have a much clearer idea of just what grace and redemption is and where I stand.  I am so much more at ease now, and content with my relationships, particularly with God.  I know I still sin, and I bring that to the Lord in prayer.  I talk with Him a lot.  I talk with others about the inherent brokenness that comes with being human, just as I talk about God's redeeming grace.  The truth is, I am plagued by my propensity to continue to sin and do things that aren't Christ-like, and it haunts me, sometimes, that I consider myself a Christian.  It is those times when I feel most hypocritical.   I love my "new" life in Christ, but I hate the fact that I am apparently so weak that I continue to sin so regularly.  I know I am better, that my heart is softer, and that my head is clearer, and that thus I am a better man and person for it.  But somehow, deep inside I still feel that I am a failure....because I still do things, and behave in ways, that don't glorify the God that saved me in the first place."

I have to ask....do you ever think of such things during times of close self examination? 

Hearing conversations, such as the one above, is, I believe, normal....and really healthy.  I think they are good conversations...both to speak and to hear.  That conversation was between me and me when I was out strolling with the dog the other day. It drove home the point, again, that the more I know about me, the more I need to know.  And the more I grow, the more I need to grow.  My new life isn't about perfection.  It's about my own spiritual growth....from spiritual baby to spiritual maturity...and that is a process.

Whenever one has those kind of conversations, he should be glad.  It shows that there is growth taking place.....and that is very pleasing to God,s eyes.  That is all He is asking for.  We just need to trust that no matter what, through our doubts and fears, He is there...with us and for us.