Stuffing stuff

Us guys hold a lot pretty close to our chests don't we?  Maybe the gals do as well, but I can't really discuss that because I'm not one.  So I'll stick with what I know a little bit more about...us guys.  I know that as a rule we have hard time:

• being really transparent
• being brutally honest about what we're thinking (what's going on inside)
• sharing with other men on a deep level (gasp)
• letting other men help us when we are hurting or confused inside.
• etc.

Somehow it just doesn't seem "manly" to do any of the above does it.?  And who really wants to let the cat out of the bag that we do have frailties, hurts, needs & wants, deep concerns about ourselves and the likes?  It's almost as if we have some extra chromosome attached to our testosterone that inherently whispers to us "hey, you're a man and that's all girlie stuff dude!".  So we tend to stuff that stuff don't we?

One of the things I really, really like about church is that there are men's small groups.  And from what I have seen, it takes a while for them to gel to the point where the men in the group all get the sense that it is a "safe" men's group.  That would be the type of group where the guys have come to completely trust one another, so that whatever is shared there, stays there, and is talked about with compassion, openness, honesty, and from a spiritually focused standpoint.  Once a group reaches that level of closeness, where the testosterone is shoved aside and the humanness is allowed to prevail, good things happen and men begin to change.  Are you in a men's group?  Is it a close knit group like the one described?

Might I add one more little observation about this kind of group?  I am finding out more and more that what I am thinking and feeling does not make me unique or different from the others in the group.  Quite the opposite....even when everything you sense may be telling you differently.  Brothers...we are way more alike than we might suspect.  We just don't know that until trust has reached such a level that we will be open about what is really going on inside.

Stuffing stuff, it seems, just doesn't cut the mustard in our hearts. 

Maybe, if you're not hooked up, it might just be up your wheelhouse to get involved in a group.  And if you're in a group that perhaps hasn't fully reached that "safe" level where stuff gets unstuffed....well, why not get with it and break the ice?  They won't bite you.  I'm guessing a cool unanimous sigh of relief will be heard.....because they are all stuffing stuff just like you.