The Biggest Enemy in the World

"I don't have an enemy in the world."  I can't tell you how many times I have heard that over the course of my life.  I've even been known to use that term now and then when asked if I had any enemies.  To say that I had any could be an indication that I wasn't a very nice guy and had made someone really angry at me, or that I had done something really bad to someone.  Well I lied.  I do have an enemy.  I have the biggest enemy in the world.

The biggest enemy in the world lives very, very close to me.  That's right.  My biggest enemy is me.  My enemy is that part of me that doesn't like me, the one who will try to tear me down in a heartbeat.  It's the one who will try to dictate and direct my bad behavior, the one who will win out more than I would ever like when:

• something doesn't go my way
• I think someone is trying to best me
• I perceive a hurt that really wasn't meant
• I am sure that someone doesn't really like me
• etc, etc, etc you get the picture etc

That is the enemy that prevents me from being forgiving and giving someone the benefit of the doubt.  It is the same one that will throw those hurtful words into and out of my mouth faster than one of Clint Eastwood's bullets.  And, yep, it will be the same one that amps up (as I heard today) my "conclusion gland" so that I can draw a wrong conclusion about someone or something.

It took an awfully long time before I ever knew I had an enemy, and as time has passed I have realized that I myself am Public Enemy #1.  No one can shoot my foot better than I can.  No one can make a fool out of me better than I can.  No one can stop forward growth progress better than I can.

That said, knowing just exactly who that enemy is also provides for some comic relief....which comes after forgiveness.  Forgiveness of each kind:

1. forgiveness asked for
2. forgiveness graciously received
3. and self forgiveness

But it all starts with the ultimate forgiver....God.  Once I accept His forgiveness, public enemy #1 ever so slowly begins to realize that he's just not going to bully me around anymore.