The Director

Here is an abbreviated inside look at some of the things that make me tick.  I suspect I am not alone.

• I like outcomes.
• I don't like the suspense of waiting for outcomes
• When patience was doled out, they ran out before it was my turn to get some
• I am often pretty sure I can do it better than someone else (whatever that "it" is)
• Did I mention that I like outcomes and don't like waiting for them?

What do those things say about me as a person?  How do those things that make me tick play out in my daily life?  In other words, what am I saying about myself here?

Simply this:  It is really, really easy for me to want to be The Director.  What does The Director do?  He engineers outcomes, most generally toward his own advantage.  When directing (though it may not be obvious to others at the time) I am usually doing something with an ulterior motive in mind, one clearly advantageous to moi!  And without regard for the fact that in doing so it may actually be to someone else's disadvantage (or worse yet, that they may be hurt in some way by my actions). 

Good Directors will often come across as just regular guys.  If they are really good at laying their smoke screens, they may come across as quiet, unassuming, humble, considerate men.  For much of the time anyway.  Need I mention that this is yet another insidious mind game I can very easily fall into?

There is a long laundry list of those times in my life as a man, a husband, and as a father where I have been more than a man, a husband, and a father.  I have been The Director.  And why?  Not because I knew better, or knew what was best.  Nope.  It was because:

1. I can be selfish
2. I can let my ego get in the way of being a decent man
3. It can be easy for me not to trust someone
4. It can be real easy for me to want to be in charge
5. It can be difficult for me to want to consider compromise
6. etc, etc, etc....you get the picture.

If I am going to be a better man, husband, and father I simply cannot be The Director.  In fact, if I am going to be a better man, husband, and father I really need The Real Director in my life at ALL times, and not selective times (like I would sometimes rather).  The Lord is my real director....if I will only let Him.